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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time (42949 Views)
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Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by OilSubsidy: 4:51pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
@ m.k.o2005, Why do you think you need to convince anybody that it is necessary to court or not? Haven't you heard the saying different strokes for different folks? Are you Ojigbani or him brother/manager? mtcheeewww |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Nobody: 4:52pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
m.k.o2005: @mko I believe firmly that there is no hard and fast rule about getting married. Irrespective of how one decide to go about finding his or her life partner, I believe that the element of desperation should not be part of it. Courtship for me I believe is necessary because not everyone is as he or she seems. The world we live in is a dangerous place and we need to exercise some form of discretion in choosing a life partner. I know that it is still possible to make a mistake after taking the much needed precaution but the risk of making the mistake is mitigated when we thread with caution. I believe that before one should get married, it is important to get to know the man or woman and the families too. This takes time. The example a fellow nairalander gave of someone who got married under an hour is a bit too much cause I wonder how the marriage was organized and if the families and/or friends were involved. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by chreldb(m): 4:53pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
For the records, the issue of no courtship before marriage is a Jewish tradition called "Shadchan" in Judaism. That may be the reason why there may be no record of courtship dated BC in the bible. Christianity is based on the belief in Jesus Christ and not Jewish laws that governed the way God was worshipped BC. So match making/no courtship is essentially a practice of Judaism and not christianity. My opinion |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by mko2005: 4:54pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
dozymars:You said in ur opinion, if we don't get the general knowledge(Wikipedia and dictionary )of courtship,we won't do well on this subject. Getting to know the parents of ur would be life partner isn't courtship ESPECIALLY in the context it's bin used by all in the world at large. I want to take us on a lecture but we must first establish a fact before we move on. And the fact is what is courtship ? Not ur opinion or waht u think but dictionary meaning PLS. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by wonlasewonimi: 4:54pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
When a pastor preaches on a rotating pulpit...shyte comes out! |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Shaggyfreshfish(m): 4:56pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
That pst is misleading and a xteristic of a jewish hypocrites. As for me and my generation na courtship tinz o! Waiter a bottle of chilled harp pls! |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by hillyf: 4:59pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Well datz his opinion, but a wrong opinion 4 a pastor! Courting or not is a decision left 2 d couple! |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Nobody: 4:59pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Shaggyfreshfish: That pst is misleading and a xteristic of a jewish hypocrites. As for me and my generation na courtship tinz o! Waiter a bottle of chilled harp pls! What has been Jewish got to do with someone expressing his or her beliefs. The pastor did not force anyone to follow his/her teachings. The people who are there went there of their own free will. Everyone has a right to express his or her fundamental human right to speak just as you are exercising yours but in doing that try not to offend someone else. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by enuelly: 5:00pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Absolutely wrong, seriously delusional he is. If he lost his long term relationship to a better man and his arranged marriage worked doesn't mean it applies for everyone. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Sike(m): 5:03pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Another Pastor again?! Na wa o! |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by goofie: 5:04pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
is he saying dt whn we meet a guy,we cn get engaged in a week and get married one month after? cos dt wld really not be walking in wisdom as the Bible admonishes |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Dauchman(m): 5:07pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
m.k.o2005: Mate you hav been going on and on about the meaning of courtship even with all d links given to you, so plz tell us d meaning of courtship so we learn. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by mko2005: 5:08pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
striktlymi:My friend,i am much relaxed now with u. Becos we have come to a common ground. Now from ur post,we dnt want to make mistake ! So we need to study to ensure mistake is drastically reduced right ? So we COURT to study so as to know what we are 'buying ' to an extent. So i can now define courtship to be a period we get to study each other to know if things will work . Now bro.This is what Chris is saying and what other men of God aren't telling us: That the world is full of deceit. That people change per time per time. That when we court and eventually get married,that it in most cases leads to dissapointment. That courtship brings about the saying:After using me,u want to dump me. That courtship most ultimately lead to sex before marriage(I know most people may not agree here on NL) That courtship means u do not have trust in God but in what u can do on ur own. That courtship leads to heart break. That courtship leads to betrayal. That it is not biblical That courtship delays marriage That no matter how long u court someone,You will not get to know that person Courtship leads to marrying someone out of pity And so many other things that i will put forward here by 2morow cos i have to round up with what am doing in the office. Thanks bro. Will be back on this morow. 1 Like |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Nobody: 5:19pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
amaikama: Sorry but my knowledge of holy scripture is a bit rusty. Can you please give me the bible passage where it is said that Adam and Eve got married? A quote will be highly appreciated. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by sweetchicks(f): 5:22pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Mr.Mko...Allow me to ask u two questions: are you married or still single; If you agree that you are married, did you shun courtship? And if ya still single, oh well, best of luck!(We all need that) |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by chreldb(m): 5:23pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
m.k.o2005: Good lord . This kind of mentality belongs to the stone ages. So people who courted before marriage are doomed abi? and what do you mean about courtship means you dont trust in God. In another scenerio if you are hungry will you wait for God to cook for you to proove your faith in him? Oh I forgot that God sent manna down from heaven for the Isrealites . These doctrines are a load of crap. Stop decieving yourself 1 Like |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by goofie: 5:27pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
i think courtship is necessary. it is not about knowing the person completely but knowing that u cn live with his or her flaws. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by sexyval(f): 5:30pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
D bible has said it all my people perish for lack of knowlede ,one pastor comes up and preaches according to d way he thinks and everyone is shouting ...AMEN !!! .common sense dictates u court ! A brother once said dat God said I was his wife , can u imagine ? I told him other brothers said d same thing ,lol . Everyone wud have married their first love na abi ? . My friends, u all shud be reasonable ,esp if u are educated,den u shudnt be gullible ,least u'd suffer alone wen dat time comes .d |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Nobody: 5:39pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
m.k.o2005: Guy I really would love to agree with you on this but common sense would not permit me cause really what you have itemized really do not support sentiments for not courting. If you think that courting will lead to some of the things you have highlighted, don't you think that worse things would happen if there is no courtship? If you meet a lady on the way and tell her you want to marry her, won't you be surprised and a bit skeptical if she says 'yes'? Some people are of the opinion that holy scripture is against courtship but this is not stated explicitly in the bible. Remember that when Joseph wanted to marry Mary, the families of both parties agreed to the union and when Joseph found out that she was with child, he wanted to let her go in-formerly. Doesn't this show that Joseph actually courted her and found out about the pregnancy? Also remember that courtship is also meant for the people involved to get to know whether they are medically compatible. I have seen families suffer because their genotype was not a match. This has impacted negatively on the family life. Not courting to find out whether you guys are compatible would mean selfishness and not a care for your children. And in these days of HIV/AIDS, if you decide to marry someone under an hour, how would you know if the person is not HIV positive? I believe the positive aspect of courting far outweighs the negative. Safe journey home thou. 1 Like |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by AkinDavid2: 5:47pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Look!!! me i no like long story oo, i beg who wan marry who for this one now? if you say courtship na waste of time next time you see a lady you like bundle her go meet you male and pale make them gree you sharp sharp and if na guy wey you like just follow am go house abi if them tell you say make you put hand inside fire, just check if your brain are still intact and then put your hand...mtchewww..I beg NEXT |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Rhemite(m): 5:54pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
He is entitle to his opinion but i beg to disagree wit him. Courtship is idea cos you just can't like a lady today and the following day its straight to the altar. No matter the pretenses of either party during the courtship , if truelly God is the Foundation of that Courtship such pretenses will definately surface and be found out. I therefore believe in Courtship so far it is pure and solely based on God's Manuscript. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Nobody: 5:59pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Islamic view Answer: "Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims. Young Muslim men and women (or boys and girls) do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry. Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex is forbidden. Why? The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life - with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement. How do potential spouses meet? First of all, Muslim youth develop very close friendships with their same-sex peers. This "sisterhood" or "brotherhood" that develops when they are young continues throughout their lives, and serves as a network to become familiar with other families. When a young person decides to get married, the following steps often take place: The young person makes du'a for Allah to help him or her find the right person. The family enquires, discusses, and suggests candidates from among the network of people that they know. They consult with each other to narrow down potential prospects. Usually the father or mother approaches the other family to suggest a meeting. If the young couple and their families agree, the couple meets in a chaperoned, group environment. Umar related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)." The Prophet also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them." When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to "lower their gaze and guard their modesty...." Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake. If the couple seems compatible, the families may investigate further - talking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn about the character of the potential spouse. Before making a final decision, the couple prays salat-l-istikhara (prayer for guidance) to seek Allah's help and guidance. The couple agrees to pursue marriage or part ways. Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women - they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want. This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why these marriages often prove successful in the long-term. 1 Like |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Nobody: 6:12pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
lekibraky: Islamic view Guy I doubt very much that you are in Nigeria. If you tell me that the quoran is against courtship I will listen to what you have o say but if you say that in practice muslims from this part of the world do not get involved in it then I will say that you are either not in Nigeria or you choose not to see what goes on around you. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Nobody: 6:12pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Mad Cow:i better start attending his crusades...on a serious note, i dey find wife but only a virgin o°˚ . I don't want a woman with high mileage or out of warranty. |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by DECOtech(m): 6:26pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Duke_Nija: I agree withBull's eye! |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by ujchief(m): 6:43pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
i gues the pastor is entitled to his own opinion. For me, i'm gona marry my best friend, someone i'm already used to, both in character and otherwise. Someone i know i can tolerate her flaws and love her the way she is. I'm currently dating her now, and in few yrs time if we're stil together, i'm taking her to the altar... Obvisiously, not pst chris ojibawatever's altar 1 Like |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Yornandrew: 6:48pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
The lady I truely loved. I intended to marry wanted an expensive wedding. But I wanted a small wedding. Although that time I wasn't really working but I could only raise about N100,000 for the wedding. She refused. Pastor Ojigbani is only referring to men who are ready emotionally, financially to marry.After the relationship with this girl,I said I won't date any girl except I am ready for marriage.but recently my pastor introduce a girl to me but I refused on the grounds that I am not prepared for marriage, but I concurred after he persistently convinced me. .But recently the lady is seeing that I am not prepared for her. Those who are really ready won't dely or bother about courtship. 1 Like |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by jechona(m): 6:49pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Leave pastor alone jor, he did not wake up from the right side of his bed before coming to preach. If not he would have considered the consequences of both situations before coming to preach. Perhaps he has a mission of promoting random divorsing or broken homes. Or maybe he wife is exibiting a character that was hiden to him while they were courting... |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by OySxo(f): 6:55pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
This is rily sad , ow won't courtship b important |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by maxisfield(f): 7:19pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
Am nt against courtship..buh I kinda undastnd wat †ђξ pastor iz tryin t̶̲̥̅ơ̴͡ say...no mata hw long u study ur partner υ̲̣̥ wil neva graduate..so y †ђξ waste ov tym..human beings r soo unpredictable..besyds most courtship iz based on pretence |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by DukeNija(m): 7:25pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
berem: am sure the eediot didn't court his wife too! Bloody hypocrites! A Pastor gave his subjective view on Courtship. And You feel its Nice and Cool to call him an 'eediot' I'm sure you are courting someone whom You'll never bash but Praise and Sweet tongue. You just Stamped his statement. 1 Like |
Re: Pst. Chris Ojigbani: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time by Nobody: 7:27pm On Oct 15, 2012 |
kessyur: Courtship Before Marriage Is A Waste Of Time And Very Improper-pst. Chrisfa fa fa foul! He shud refer to his bible evn d parents of our Lord Jesus christ courted. Twas during courtship dat Joseph found out mary was concieved of our Lord Jesus. |
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