Ma dearie Home of cos

In this age of rampant divorce and unfaithful husbands!!! Hmmm my career oh, if the man no like da one na im sabi

I would have love to choose my home first, but l need my career too for emotional balance. l tried the wifey role for a while after the birth of my first baby and boy! l almost went banana fiddling with my fingers at home. ln all honesty l think us; today's women can have it all - home, career et al, if we apply wisdom.  l think we can have the best of the two worlds, its a matter of balancing the pendulum properly- do not shift too much to one side.
So its quite a hard choice for me- so allow me to balance both, howbeit proportionately.

l work 9.30-5.00; and l seldom do official trips. My family comes first for me on the scale of priority. l do my job the best way without getting carried away.

As a goal-driven but loving person, i HAVE to strike a balance between my career and my home. To me, there are no two ways about it. Shikena!!

what is "career"? money
what is "home"? children
whats the duty of a man? make money
whats the duty of a woman? take care of children

*Have this at the back of your mind " if your mother was a career woman (like you want to be), then you wouldnt have been where you are today

if a woman loves her career, then there is no need getting married.

The question is an unfair one.
It's like asking a woman with 3 kids which will you save first in the case of a housefire.
Both are important and so different that there's no basis for comparison.

My home is where my heart is but without a career,I'll be miserable there.

+osisi:

The question is an unfair one.
It's like asking a woman with 3 kids which will you save first in the case of a housefire.
Both are important and so different that there's no basis for comparison.

My home is where my heart is but without a career,I'll be miserable there.

Exactly. It's a ridiculous question

@ Topic

Truth be told, family first, if are great at home you will excel in the workplace, if you are bad at home your work will also suffer, we need to find a balance so that one dose not take the place of the other.

Hhmm.

This is a very serious issue indeed, don't just jump into conclusions until you find yourself in such situation.

I am referring to those who believe their careers come first. I used to be all ambitious (still am), travel from one place to another.

The experience was fabulous, the freedom and the dough, then I got married and everythin changed. Guys, it's not as easy as you guys think, honestly.

I had to make a sacrifice, and returned home to my family. I have never been happier!

Life is not just about making money, at one point or another you'll sit back and reflect, count your losses and gains, you'll then realise there's more to life.

You might be lucky to still have your loved ones,waiting and willing to have you back, but in most cases, the deed must have been done.

But then, we all have choices. Just that the choice we make today will eventualy determine our happiness/fulfillment tomorrow.

Family first, career second.

As a guy, it's alwz goin to be my career, without a career, I doubt I cld manage a home. Gs I'm not speakin for myself alone

The Home & Work goes hand - in - hand with each other if the party involved deem it fit. If your aunt's home is not in good order there is no way the management of the organisation is she is putting in everyything will promote her or commend her for a higher. Because to be a good manager of human resources in an organisation it requires that you manage your home credibly before any other thing.

So please do tell your aunt that the husband still remains the head and takes every decision for success in the home.

macgozy:



So please do tell your aunt that the husband still remains the head and takes every decision for success in the home.

here we go again. . .

macgozy:


Because to be a good manager of human resources in an organisation it requires that you manage your home credibly before any other thing.

nedsly:

what is "career"?  money
what is "home"?   children
whats the duty of a man?   make money
whats the duty of a woman?   take care of children

*Have this at the back of your mind " if your mother was a career woman (like you want to be), then you wouldnt have been where you are today

@ nedsley, my mum(  - the mums of several of the posters here, I'm sure -) is a working woman - a nurse. i'm pretty much satisfied with where i am today.i certainly was not neglected or 'latchkeyed' when growing up.  next thing you'll be saying is that women need not go to school,  since their 'duty' is 'to take care of chidlren'

that said, i will reiterate what i said before - family comes first. you can switch jobs as many times as you want, but you can only have one family( actually, in these days of multiple divorces, thats not so true but. . . you get the point)

it would seem that  all you are looking for in a wife is a bearer and nurturer of children.

we are going off topic - if for no other reason ( this is just one of the more practical one's) your wife should have a job as a fallback. in these days of corporate 'right sizing', you can lose your job at anytime. how will you support the family if you have little or no savings and madam is nothing more than 'a nurturer of children'?

For a woman, in todays world, the best bet is to balance the two.Infact this days, most men would rather choose what they love to refer as an independent lady(be it a white collar job or simply buying and selling) over a housewife(which they have coined the word liabilty for).

Not forgetting that everything changes i.e situations and even we humans, I think it is best to play safe o!

Love your man the way he wants it,give them all the respect they need, that way he would not notice whether or not you are extremely career conscious or not. Infact if you are good at it he would even help out with the kids without complaining. Men do not like anything taking their place in their woman's life, whether job or children.

It is a psychological thing. So work on the man by loving him excessively, stop by at his office, call him on the phone, romantic holidays every now and then and treat him to some good TLC between 2300hrs and 0500hrs of the following day, not forgetting special food treats.

Much as the home is important, it is highly unsafe for a woman not to have some form of career path.

The bible has this to say

Pro 31:10 Who can find a woman of virtue? For her value is far above rubies.
Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband trusts safely in her, so that he shall have no need of plunder.
Pro 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Pro 31:13 She seeks wool and flax, and works willingly with her hands.
Pro 31:14 She is like the merchants' ships; she brings her food from afar.
Pro 31:15 She also rises while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and a share to her young women.
Pro 31:16 She considers a field, and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
Pro 31:17 She binds her loins with strength, and makes her arms strong.
Pro 31:18 She sees that her merchandise is good; her lamp does not go out by night.
Pro 31:19 She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
Pro 31:20 She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.
Pro 31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Pro 31:22 She makes herself coverings; her clothing is silk and purple.
Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
Pro 31:24 She makes fine linen and sells it, and delivers girdles to the merchants.
Pro 31:25 Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Pro 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Pro 31:27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Pro 31:28 Her sons rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
Pro 31:29 Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.
Pro 31:30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears Jehovah, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

i have absolutely no idea what the above has to do with the topic.

is the virtous woman referred to a housewife or a worker?

Mr Oyb

dont task that special brain of urs ok


The woman in prov31 balances her family and work in the best possible way!

please. . .  please . . . madam teacher. . .break it down for those of us with puny intellects  ( thats the true mark of intelligence).

its not enough to copy and paste - thats the mark of 'giraffes'

Gamine:

Mr Oyb

don't task that special brain of urs ok


The woman in prov31 balances her family and work in the best possible way!

the woman in prov 31 doesn't have a career. people did not have careers in those days.

do you think this thread is  about balancing planting vineyards with being praised by sons and husbands?

you are setting a sad example as a  'born again' . you're making it look as if getting religion requires an commensurate reduction in intelligence

Oyb

u surprise me
ur mental state seems to be deteriorating

what is a career?
simple question.

answer!

_{Adjusting ma pillows as I pray fervently for sleep to come ma way!}



he he he he he he he he he he

laff wan kill me!

I want to site another example from Proverb 14: 1. "A wise woman builds her home but with her own hands the foolish one pulls her's down". With this i will take HOME first, God has given women some qualities which men don't have and that is to build/take care of the family. But not withstanding if most women can succeed in building a great home with their career/business, why shouldn't we? Like the VIRTUOUS WOMAN (Prov. 31), she succeeded in both, and peolpe called her bless. Let's make that decision to LEARN how to successfully balance the two instead of insisting on one. I think that is the wisest thing to do.
Thankyou Virtuous A.

This is why courtship should extend beyond stealing french kisses and handling
all engaged couple ought to have these discussions such that no surprises emerge,(at least they'll be minimal)
If a girl hears from her fiance that her new workplace becomes the bedroom and the kitchen after the vows are exchanged,she is then free to take her purse and leave,if she so desires.

Most problems people encounter at marriage,was there at courtship but love was blinding
I don't think a woman should be miserable being a full time housewife if that's not her desire
That would be so unfair.
Any man that thinks all will be well while madam is unhappy is kidding himself ,

I believe every woman should be earning an income even if she only works 2 days a week selling "okirika wake up".
I refuse to ask, beg or expect money from my fellow humanbeing on a regular basis
Or put myself in a position to be at the mercies of anyone.
Not as long as my God given hands and feet are still mobile.

_{that is my personal stand}

oyb:

[b]@ nedsley, my mum( - the mums of several of the posters here, I'm sure -) is a working woman - a nurse. i'm pretty much satisfied with where i am today.i certainly was not neglected or 'latchkeyed' when growing up. next thing you'll be saying is that women need not go to school, since their 'duty' is 'to take care of chidlren'[/b]that said, i will reiterate what i said before - family comes first. you can switch jobs as many times as you want, but you can only have one family( actually, in these days of multiple divorces, thats not so true but. . . you get the point)

it would seem that all you are looking for in a wife is a bearer and nurturer of children.

we are going off topic - if for no other reason ( this is just one of the more practical one's) your wife should have a job as a fallback. in these days of corporate 'right sizing', you can lose your job at anytime. how will you support the family if you have little or no savings and madam is nothing more than 'a nurturer of children'?

Same here.
My mom was college educated, worked in hospital administration
and held top positions in my state before she retired and none of us feel neglected.
Infact she was a good role model to me and my friends and she often spoke at career fairs to young people and I know she was a good inspiration to girls.
If she could do it and raise kids,so can I.

Nothing in the whole wide world is as important as
my family.

Definitely my home first. It is very important for a woman to have a career or at least some sort of source of income so that she can be fully part of the family support system. It is also very important for both woman and man to be fully involved in what goes on in the home front, but more important for the woman because she builds the home. Yes its possible to multitask, take care of the home and maintain a full time career though it can be very tasking and this i intend to do but if eventually i see that the home is suffering for it I'll drop my career like hot coal and face my family.

it is a hard thing to battle with.it is really destroying a lot of families in nigeria now.especially bankers.the passion for the family is being traded for thier jobs.the motherhood and fatherhood has change to bankerhood.people really need to take a deep thot about this.it is killing believe mii.and at the end of the day it leaves so many people unhappy and empty even unforfilled.

My home comes first before my career,am the homely type and cannot watch my home suffer while my career moves on.If the home suffers the children also suffers.Its not right to abandon your home for a career that can end anytime while your home lives on forever.The legacy you leave for your children also lives on.Yeah is good for a woman to be hardworking and deligent but you have to create time for your home,very important.A working woman is a happy woman while a full house wife will reap the fruit of it,when it happens.

i can handle both

[size=16pt][b]OHHH when i read all these post i have just come to realise that "EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER".I am not saying CAREER is less important neither am i saying a woman should be a full house wife.I think i have several examples to make.My sister works with a Bank where she had her daughter with the nannies,unfortunately the daughter that used to be very lively turned to be a dull type after 6months or so,they got to realise that sleeping tablets are being given to the little kid because of her being troublesome and the nanny has so many children to look after.
This is what i am saying,if you miss the motherhood care you and i wouldnt be where we are today,our mothers didnt make career their first choice,i could remember my mum when i was a kids,i used to be very sturborn and rude,i started smoking when i was age 11yrs cos of peer presure and i want to point out something to you "CAREER FIRST SCHOOL OF THOUGHT" , Peer presure is something we shouldnt neglect,a child who doesnt get advises from mum esp will definately have answers to all his or her question from his peer group.
I am married and i know what it takes.It not enough to say or feel the heat when you havent got marriaged,but to be sincere i would have to say this.Couples should avoid working in BANKS, I mean in Nigerian Banks where u work 5am- 9pm at night, if a woman can get a teaching job or lecturing job or better still work in govt parastatal or maybe get a job that would allow her to get home by 4pm or latest 5pm ,i think thats not bad.
My wife had a terrible experience when she had our first child but you know, i wouldnt trade my little handsome boy for anything not to talk about her career or my job. I would rather go extra mile to take care of my wife and my Kid,at the same time i wouldnt like my wife to be idul in the name of taken care of my kids so she has to balance the two but having in mind that he has to give the kid and me 75% and the rest career,cos in case of unforseen contingences.
To all ladies in the house,you need to think very well,cos marriage is a like lookingat beautiful house from affar but you wouldnt know what and how the inside looks like, All these would makes things easier if the husband is supportive.I would like to hear frm the marriaged women and men in our midst to share similar experience as i have shared mine.

Hey friend, tell that your sister that travels alot in pursuance of her career at the expense of her marrital home that, if she doesnt want her househelp to take over her home,or maybe her neighbour or someone else outside(like most of these Husband hunters all around the cities,who would go extra miles to satisfied her worrisome husband),she should quickly quit that career shes pursuing and look for similar one around her environs or else that career would be usesless eventually cos she MIGHT not find happinerss in her home eventually if the career goal had been achieved.

REMEMBER,IF YOU ARE NOT MARRIAGED YET YOU CAN MAKE A LOT OF NOISES ALL AROUND BUT WHEN YOU GET INTO THE INSITITUTION THEN YOU KNOW THAT SACRIFICES ARE MADE NOW FOR FUTURE JOY AND HAPPINESS.Pray to God to give you your real wife or husband as the case may be, pls your HOME come first ohhhhhhh, Remember say na pure african men and women we be ohhh, take care.

Good luck.[/b][/size]