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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? (15081 Views)
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Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 3:52pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Because of the reasoning that it's solely the mother's responsibility to raise a child, we have so many psychopathic youths in Nigerian society. Even the villagers who are supposed to help raise a child are getting more judgmental and less supporting, more individualistic and less collective. So if the mother is solely expected to raise a child, how will she accomplish that when she's also expected to take on the role of various archetypes in her home and community? There's only so much that one person can do. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 3:53pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
I feel sorry for my husband if he reasons like these Nigerians on NL. That man will suffer no be small. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by vanstanzy(m): 4:12pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Gee001: Truely Nigerian mentality as sumone rightly said. D mothers take all d blames wen tins go awry in d family especially wen it comes 2 d children while d fathers take all d praises wen d children do well in life. Is this ur opinion on this matter? Damn! Ladies should stop thinking they have no responsibility as married women, period! PRIMARILY, a woman transforms a house, into a home. Hope u get ma drift? |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Agbenyiess(m): 4:17pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
The woman provides emotional need for the family while the father (Besides financial responsibility) must be there to provide the authority the family needs. In a situation where any one of this is lacking, there is bound to be misbehaviour from the child/ren. If u, as a man explains away your duty in the name of trying to provide for the home, you will have to live to contend with rebellious children in the future. And there are some fathers that are around and not available, this too can cause problem for the child. The worst thing that can happen to any child is to be mentored by his/her pairs or wicked nanny. I am telling you this from experience. No matter how busy we may be, we must create time and make a conscious effort (whether mother or father) to be there for our children and play our role(s). And not wait to blam the woman… women must not pay for the irresponsibility of the men. To properly understand what i am talking about, google the consequence of single parenting and let us know your findings. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 4:19pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Because of the mothers love |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by olly4life: 4:19pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Hey dude, its not a nigeria mentality as U̶̲̥̅̊ claim. Mothers, Women, wives play important role in any one's life. All these categories of female have great influence on d human being, no wonder she was able to give Adam apple sharp sharp. Its dere charge to b responsible in term of upbringing 4 d household. God help U̶̲̥̅̊ afrikans. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by ciphoenix: 4:27pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Blaming the Mothers for whatever bad outcome, thats Nigerian 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 4:33pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
*Ileke-IdI:LMAO!! |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by RKVINTLTD: 4:34pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Hello Nairalanders ! I salute your ideas to the contribution because every one idea is important consideration on this matter. May I tell you that A child is owned by persons (Father & Mother), without the 2 one can not hold. Once a Child is born, the responsibility and upkeep becomes the liability of both parents. Considering the issue on ground; It is only the man that is working, the woman is not working, the woman is always at home She knows the behaviour of the children more than the father. She surppose to have been informing the Father about the behaviour of the children right from their early age as they grow for the father to intervene. No matter how, The father also hold it a point of duty on at least once a week to monitor and examine the attitude of the children. The children would have been caught unaware by their father if he actually monitors the children under his care. After all Father is the head of the home. Many spoilt children today are as a result from break in marriage, Father's negligence, improper monitoring of children, idleness of the children, mix with pears and social interractions which depends in where the child lives. The environment a Child lives have a great influence on his behaviour since behaviour is a learned attitude from the society. Exposition to bad attitude is a common thing in our society today, take for instance; children living their both parents' home to watch Football Championship leage outside their home, the children mixed up with bad boys smoking indian hemp and Gambling. Finally, I will say both the Man and Woman are responsible for the misfortune of their wards or children. Shifting blame now is not the issue. 'Whose parents are these children ?' or 'From which Family are children from ?' We parents need to take proper care of our children jointly and monitor / control their behaviour. This is our duty as Parents, nobody is going to do it for us. Any problem created by one family becomes a cluster of societal problem which we are facing in Nigeria today. Everybody want to be rich at all cost without even working hard. No one is ready to go back to Farm, No one is ready to go through the pains of getting the knowledge required to become a professional or an inventor. How to get rich quick is the attitude of youth of today. Few youth can only be found reading at home today or going to the Library, except those preparing for exams, which surpose not to be so. Children should be able to read through their notes about what they were tought in school on daily basis. Our Government as well need a lot to do, to provide Library facilities in all schools and make is compulsory for students to read after school hours before they go home. Probably Student could the grouped to study on schedule in the Library and closely monitored by Chief Librarian who schedule time since the Library may not contain them at a time. Public Library need to be sponsored by Fedral Government well enough if they want a children of High value in life and to the society. Both parents are responsible for the falt or misconduct of their children. The chidren that committed an offence before the age of 18yrs are taken to Infantory court or Infantory Tribunal because they are still not ripe enough to be judged by the Law of the land, therefore their parents are to be blamed for their misconducts. Thanks. |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by linearity: 4:34pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
The twist to that narrative is that fathers most of the time, take the credit if their kids behave well or succeeds.... 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 4:40pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
It's primarily their duty, and they are the ones that know the real father of that child |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by idowuswap: 4:43pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Igbos can not take care of thier children na who go con teach them maybe govt.just bcus of money they full everywhere like flies on top shit.committing atrocities,i think agbarry ojukwu ran like fowl when jungle mature.shiiiiiiitttttttt |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by solbil: 4:47pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
i can feel an anti man sentiment going on in here. Op, are you trying to deny that mothers are the ones who spend more time with the kids? I know the fathers should be visible. But i am sure that you are not going to deny, despite you strong anti man feeling, that no matter the case, on the average, children are more drawn to their mothers than their fathers? As for those who are quick to say "typical nigerian mentality" well, i think you all are just a bunch of xenocentric people who by chance have found yourselves abroad and now think anything nigeria is inferior! You have become so blinded by your xenocentrism that your intellectual development have been seriously affected! How else can we explain your inability to suspect the simple obvious? That by nature , children are more attached to their mothers than they are to their fathers. And the one who is closer, has more influence. No! The "patriachal society" did not shape it this way. We have this, becos nature has made children to be drawn more to their mothers. So if you are angry, direct your anger against nature. Not men. |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by lumeneng22: 4:47pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
The mother carry the pregnacy for nine months and during this time she must observe the dos and donts of pregnancy especially taking möney from the husband's purse or pocket. After birth, mother friendly begins till after a year or so. Then kindergarten, nursery/primary school all this while the child is closer to the mother while the father is always going and coming just to provide for all these to be possible(foundation).Take them to church or mosque etc whichever one you believe.In short they are closer to the mother than father. |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by solbil: 4:57pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Tunjman: I can only answer the question if the op can tell me why the child's first language is called mother's tongue and not father's tongueco-sign on that one. |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by ciphoenix: 5:05pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
solbil: i can feel an anti man sentiment going on in here. Op, are you trying to deny that mothers are the ones who spend more time with the kids? I know the fathers should be visible. But i am sure that you are not going to deny, despite you strong anti man feeling, that no matter the case, on the average, children are more drawn to their mothers than their fathers?when it comes to teenagers, the pattern changes. Its no longer "children are more attached to their mothers". True, mothers spend more time with "children", that doesn't justify blaming them when the children turn out badly 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by vanstanzy(m): 5:05pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
RKVINTLTD: Hello Nairalanders ! TOO LONG AN EPISTLE! |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by vanstanzy(m): 5:07pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
idowuswap: Igbos can not take care of thier children na who go con teach them maybe govt.just bcus of money they full everywhere like flies on top shit.committing atrocities,i think agbarry ojukwu ran like fowl when jungle mature.shiiiiiiitttttttt WHICH OF THE HOUSES FLIES SPEWED THIS SH!7 OUT? |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by solbil: 5:08pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
ciphoenix: when it comes to teenagers, the pattern changes. Its no longer "children are more attached to their mothers". True, mothers spend more time with "children", that doesn't justify blaming them when the children turn out badlyi understand you. But what i am against is the chronic anti man sentiment that is so evident in the op's view and that of so many other women. |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Abrantie: 5:10pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Mothers, by nature, are supposed to be closer to their off-springs than fathers. This idea that, a mother's bond with her child is sacred and of utmost importance has even been coded into societal laws (especially in developed countries). So why shouldn't mothers be blamed for their child's bad behaviour? Come Mother's Day, the whole world would be abuzz. Come Father's Day, the silence would be deafening. Most fathers themselves will be like, "wetin be that again? Son why you dey give me present?" In conclusion, mothers in general get more love than blame. |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by duality(m): 5:19pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
I still don't see the rational behind the payment |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by dayokanu(m): 5:44pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
tavon: Because African culture is against feminism. A womans job is the kitchen and the kids and if theres a problem its the woman's fault. Actually a lot of Nigerian women prefer the traditional way because they dont want to work or provide for their family. They complain that the men are no longer doing like their fore fathers. Like the OP said the man is providing for the family and he travels a lot just to provide for them, So how would he also be the one to train the kids? If the family is lacking financially its the man that would be blamed cos thats supposed to be his job, Now that the child training is lacking who should be blamed? If you want a balanced home. Both should provide and both should train the kids |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 6:06pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
@dayo lol you just don't take crap when it comes to lazy bums. @ cooger kids needs a father figure at home, in their lives most especially male kids... It's unfortunate the father has to work solely around the clock to cater for the whole family but at a certain stage in a kid's life , both parents have a role to play in kids life. Things are changing now and hopefully people will get the grip that both parents must work to support the family so they can have time to attend to these kids....a very tired man will not listen to a child's school work and that's why 70s and 80s even 90s born kids has the same story of a violent father . |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by harlos: 6:29pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Because na d mother's breast the pikin suck...lol |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by dayokanu(m): 6:31pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
jidegirl12: @dayo lol you just don't take crap when it comes to lazy bums. Exactly!!!! Very well said. Maybe the woman was like those women who believed the man is responsible for providing 100% like their forefathers used to do. Now she wants to escape the blame for failing at her own responsibilities You cant eat your cake and have it |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 6:32pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
vanstanzy:EPIC. |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Abrantie: 7:03pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
solbil: I second your opinion. Any way, looking at the big picture, this topic is more about feminism than anything else. I don't want to deviate from the topic but any time someone asks "why men can do this but women blah blah blah..." types of questions, it's an attempt to deny the natural order and balance of humanity, so it's okay to stray off course in your reply. Feminism is a deadly ideology which has a corruptible effect (especially on the female psyche). You don't believe me? Try taking your Naija chick or wife to America, Europe or Australia today and see how fast she flips from that sweet village girl to a monster. Why? Because she has been exposed to the toxicity of feminism. Here is a story (not mine). I'm not sure what value it has on this thread, but it's quite interesting to read: WARNING: LONG QUOTE I was born, raised, and went through school with feminism. I believed all of the propaganda about the idyllic new world we were creating, a world in which no one would suffer discrimination; a world in which anyone could take on any role that they wanted in life. I really believed that stuff. As well, looking around me and looking back, I must say that for Canadian and American women this dream has pretty-much been realized, at least as best it can be in an imperfect world. |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by toygod2: 10:14pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
iono |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Daresh(f): 11:05pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
berem: I have been trying to ask this question over and over again.why do mothers get almost all the blame when a child displays very bad behaviour? Since they are boys I believe it was up to their father to train them. I tell my hsband all the time "these kids are for 2 of us, its not just me". Its both their faults bt I blame the Dad more cos a man should train a man. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by coogar: 11:15pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
jidegirl12: of course, kids need a father figure in their lives.... it's not like this man doesn't come home at all - it's just that he's often away from home but he fends for his kids......which is the most important thing here!
the responsibility fell solely on the wife since she agreed to be a housewife - the least she could do is to tend the nest and train the kids - she has no 9-5 job to distract her so how did the kids become rotten under her watch? |
Re: Why Do Mothers Get The Blame For A Child's Bad Behaviour? by Nobody: 12:39am On Nov 07, 2012 |
coogar: I still don't agree with you tho.., kids need both parents to raise them together esp the Dad. |
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