Dear all,

Maybe I should change my subject to read "Have you had a baby and didn't marry its mother? Share your experience!"

Tell me what u went through (or are still going through!). Sure it'll be priceless. Maybe i'll pick up a few tips.

For me, its been hell!

don't have any but what do u mean by "its been hell"??

Please save yourself the headache. Most here are dead-beats!

Gamers:

"Have you had a baby and didn't marry its mother?

Does this have anything to do with ur id Gamers

Gamers:

For me, its been hell!

I certainly don't expect less

jkpretty:

Does this have anything to do with your id Gamers

the thought crossed my mind before i even opened the thread to read it. 

jkpretty:

Does this have anything to do with your id Gamers

@poster
Hmmm! Sound like you want to-be deadbeat father of a child you don't want to marry child's mother!!!!

What happen to safe sex protection?

looks like an all female forum

@poster

Run fi cover mon Iman no give no reason to no mon

@post

Gamers:


For me, its been hell!

should we congratulate you or what?? that you impregnated a woman and refuse to marry her? that you're having a baby out of wedlock? that you're "responsible" enough to sleep with her and get her pregnant, but not responsible enough to marry her?
ok oh, am sure your "Obi" will be proud of you sha. . . some men of this generation sef. . .what happened to the idea of morality? did it fly out of the window with their common sense?


It's not hell yet o. . . . wait till you have to send the kid to college or when the kid starts acting up when his father (you) is not setting a good example!!

morenike09:

@postshould we congratulate you or what?? that you impregnated a woman and refuse to marry her? that you're having a baby out of wedlock? that you're "responsible" enough to sleep with her and get her pregnant, but not responsible enough to marry her?
ok oh, am sure your "Obi" will be proud of you sha. . . some men of this generation sef. . .what happened to the idea of morality? did it fly out of the window with their common sense?


It's not hell yet o. . . . wait till you have to send the kid to college or when the kid starts acting up when his father (you) is not setting a good example!!

roflmao! toyin u kill me o :

If thats the case, do what u can cause there are baby mothers that have lots of drama.

Do the best u can for the child, pay maintenance, see the child on the day that u have arranged together etc and if the mother still behaves like a drama queen, then at least u know u have done ur bit.

adeboo:

If thats the case, do what u can cause there are baby mothers that have lots of drama.

Do the best u can for the child, pay maintenance, see the child on the day that u have arranged together etc and if the mother still behaves like a drama queen, then at least u know u have done your bit.

for the guys that even have a conscience. some dont care !

ifyalways:

for the guys that even have a conscience. some don't care !

Thats true girl.
AT least if he didnt care, he wont be posting here.
And tell me about the dead beat dads - i know about them too well.

@uspry1

The truth is that the deed has been done. I did not use contraceptives and now I have a fine baby boy to show for this.

I don't intend to be a deadbeat. Infact I've promised to be as active a father as I'll b permitted. But I must say that its tough. Cash isn't coming as it used to. Baby-mother is as grumpy and being the drama queen she is known for! Its increasingly becoming difficult to be sane.

I've been doing my best, believe me. The hospital trips and bills. Baby things (not much but I'll continue to try to foot all!). Car for baby mother (we split this in halves). Monthly feeding and diaper allowance. Its taking its toll on me as its difficult to save. But I continue to strive and of course, more overtime at work!

But as expected, baby mother does not appreciate this. Her complaints are getting very unreasonable. Infact, she has asked that I dont come to see my son anymore. Her reasons that she wants to be stable and move on with her life. This is fair enough, I assume. But something is telling me that she is doing this to make me die of guilt. Guilt of thinking that I've brought a child into this world and not taking care of it.

So Busta, thats what I mean by hell!

@Gamers
First of all, there aint no way i'ma get a child by mistake.
haba bruv, there's like a hundred ways to protect, so if u weren't careful enough then u got it bad.
methinks havin a son is cool man, especially the fact that u have sumone ur responsible for. . .
but wiv the list u just showed, nah. . .i'll stick with the elder bruva and uncle job

thanks for sharin ur experience though, at least u removed what's left of the pre-wedlock chilbirth from my mind
although now u got me speeding to gettin married

elderz:

thanks for sharin your experience though, at least u removed what's left of the pre-wedlock chilbirth from my mind
although now u got me speeding to gettin married

what? am too young o. . . dnt force me jo. .

toyin since u obviously want me dead, please let me kiss my family goodbye first

elderz:

toyin since u obviously want me dead, please let me kiss my family goodbye first

want you dead ke? so you marry tomorrow or what?

i can see tkb's sniper gun pointin at ma window. . .wait another sniper, mogbe
kinimose?

@ Topic

Hellz NO!!

@ Poster

Dude I cant say I feel your pain cos I alwayz have protection on hand. You'l never catch a true playa slippin.

But I have a pal who has a Kid out of wedlock and DAMN!!! The boi is really in deep sh*t. It really is hell.
The guy is a part of his childs life but that shit is really tearing him apart both financially, emotionally and otherwise.
And it's worse if shit like this happens outside 9ja. Esp. here in europe and the states, these girls are brutal, if you slack on that child support, your ass is going to jail.

All I can advice you is to always place that kid as numero uno on your priority list. And never ever give the kid the impression that he/she is a burden or a mistake.
Ask for the mum, I really dont know what to say bout them. Women will alwayz be major bitches especially when you knock them up and then leave them hanging.

Dude hang in their, and learn from this, ALWAYZ have a rubber around cos you never know when you are gonna need it.

elderz:

i can see tkb's sniper gun pointin at ma window. . .wait another sniper, mogbe
kinimose?

lol. . . leave tkb alone where he is o. . he's my uncle o. . he won't hurt you . . .look closely at the sniper. . .it's not tkb o. .

yeah, its * * from this side, but the other one is tkb, i had to use my matrix powers to escape

omg!! why do you keep saying this bobo name? abeg o, dnt make him come after me o

@Gamer, just keep doing what u doing.
its gonna be hard but it will become easy.

Make sure u just address ur baby mother that u are doing ur best, its hard to do anything when u supporting ur child but what can u do?

@gamers

Thank you for your clarification but i abi @adeboo above.

Work harder to support your child in order to please child's mother satisfactory and continue communicating with her to let her know how far your status on supporting your child. That's all!

My understanding of deadbeat is a guy who refuses to take responsibility for his kid[s].

So why all the hostility towards Gamers from some females even before he explained that he was involved in the kid's life and paying bills too?

Last I checked, it takes two to make a baby and its not a crime to knock a woman up and refuse to marry her. This is the 21st century - no law says you must marry a woman just because she is pregnant for you.

The mere fact I like a woman enough to sleep with her does not automatically mean that I must love her enough for marriage. Marriage is for life - she may be good enough for sex but not good to marry.

After all, some women will date and sleep with one guy to pay their bills but marry some one else that they like better. Cuts both ways.

So stop all this man-hatin and apply some common sense!

What!!! You guys.

Are you saying I'm the only one on nairaland that has ever got a girl pregnant and didn't end up marrying her?

Where are all you guys?

hell nooooooooooooooooo,i only got a goat pregnant, _{now that you know go and look for one}

yES, ON XBOX gRAND THEFT AUTO, IT WAS FUN!!

Gamers:

What!!! You guys.

Are you saying I'm the only one on nairaland that has ever got a girl pregnant and didn't end up marrying her?

Where are all you guys?

Mr Randy Dick, sorry to disappoint you. The difference between us is that i take responsibilities for my actions. Infact, i try to guide against such actions before they occur. I liken your situation to that of guy around 26 or thereabout that has kids from two different women that he has no plans to marry. guys like u make Morenike et al call us all sorts of funny names- imagine dead beats?

holythug:

tinkin of goin for IVF , will make u pregnant
don't bother come directly to me @
1397 Tiamiyu Savage
V/I
lagos

Oma goodness!