azeezlateefah: salam aleikum to ya'all....i need an advice regarding my relationship, me and my lady, we love each other we want to get married or do nikah soon or let me just say we want to tie the knot in order to avoid fornication, alas her parent does not want that now . am a fresh graduate and she still got a year and half to spend in the versity.....am confuse dont know what to do. i need advice........from my ummah.........thanks

maclatunji:

You need:

1. Lots of fasting.

2. Distance from the lady.

3. Go get a job

4. Focus on being independent and capable of supporting a wife.

5. Understand that marriage isn't only about satisfying sexual urges but much more than that.

6. Come back and tell us if your "hearthrob's" parents reject you after doing 1-5.

By the way, this your username is not imaginative at all O.

azeezlateefah: salam aleikum to ya'all....i need an advice regarding my relationship, me and my lady, we love each other we want to get married or do nikah soon or let me just say we want to tie the knot in order to avoid fornication, alas her parent does not want that now . am a fresh graduate and she still got a year and half to spend in the versity.....am confuse dont know what to do. i need advice........from my ummah.........thanks

tbaba1234: Mutah is haram. This is the position of the vast majority of muslims.

It is a shia thing.

tbaba1234: Let me guess her name is lateefah

On a serious note, the best thing for you is to break it off and keep your distance from her. You are going to feel horrible about it, I have been there, but trust me, it is for the best.

When I say, keep your distance, I mean no calls or messages. Focus on building a career, if after a few years, you r still interested, present your proposal.

Do not fall for the temptation of 'let us just be friends'. As long those feelings are there, they will manifest.

maclatunji: Zhul-Fiqar, aren't you meant to be serving a ban?

maclatunji:

You need:

1. Lots of fasting.

2. Distance from the lady.

3. Go get a job

4. Focus on being independent and capable of supporting a wife.

5. Understand that marriage isn't only about satisfying sexual urges but much more than that.

6. Come back and tell us if your "hearthrob's" parents reject you after doing 1-5.

By the way, this your username is not imaginative at all O.

tbaba1234: Wa aleikum Salam Akhi,

This is a peculiar situation. I am going to be blunt.

You shouldn't have gotten yourself in a haram relationship to begin with. Now, you are in love and it is difficult to let-go.
The rational behind the relationship is to tie the knot as soon as possible!
You are a recent graduate, are you ready to support a wife?
Yeah am ready. And am sure Allah z with me.
Are your parents willing to support you guys until you both get your feet on the ground?
Yeah my parent are ready but her parent aint ready!
Love is not all that makes a marriage, without stability, that love will disappear very quickly.
What do you mean here? Do you mean love is not the main priority!
You can not plant the trees of paradise with the seeds of hell, many good intentions dwell there.
Pls illuminate this more?
You could end the relationship and build one with your creator. In a few years, you could propose marriage again when you have a bit of stability.

maclatunji:

You need:

1. Lots of fasting.

2. Distance from the lady.

3. Go get a job

4. Focus on being independent and capable of supporting a wife.

5. Understand that marriage isn't only about satisfying sexual urges but much more than that.

6. Come back and tell us if your "hearthrob's" parents reject you after doing 1-5.

By the way, this your username is not imaginative at all O.

tbaba1234: Let me guess her name is lateefah

On a serious note, the best thing for you is to break it off and keep your distance from her. You are going to feel horrible about it, I have been there, but trust me, it is for the best.

When I say, keep your distance, I mean no calls or messages. Focus on building a career, if after a few years, you r still interested, present your proposal.

Do not fall for the temptation of 'let us just be friends'. As long those feelings are there, they will manifest.

maclatunji:

This "love" thingy is delicate innit? I am not talking about OP here, his is a case of misplaced priorities.

The rational behind the relationship is to tie the knot as soon as possible!

Yeah am ready. And am sure Allah z with me.

What do you mean here? Do you mean love is not the main priority!

What do you mean here? Do you mean love is not the main priority!

shukran akhii....you guess right! To be sincere I really can figure out why I should break the affair... Is it to be able to build a career or to avoid fornication ...your comment connote that I shouldn't get married until I b'come a millionaire...lol

tbaba1234:

The point is this, thaer is no such thing as boyfriend-girlfriend relationships in Islam. That is haram in itself. Your pre-marital relationship with a woman is haram.

Allah says in the Quran (Roughly translated):

Today all good things have been made lawful for you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful for you as your food is lawful for them. So are chaste, believing, women as well as chaste women of the people who were given the Scripture before you, as long as you have given them their bride-gifts and married them, not taking them as lovers or secret mistresses. (surah 5:5)

If any of you does not have the means to marry a believing free woman, then marry a believing slave– God knows best [the depth of] your faith: you are [all] part of the same family – so marry them with their people’s consent and their proper bride-gifts. [Make them] married women, not adulteresses or lovers. .... (Surah 4:23)

No woman is 'your lady' until you are married to her.



Good, you have a job then meet with her wali (Guardian) and propose marriage.



Marriage is much more than love, love will fade. And no Love is not the main priority to getting married



I am sure you have dreams of a good Islamic home but you are trying to complete half of your deen by first engaging in a haram relationship before marriage.. This is what i mean by planting the trees of paradise with the seeds of Hell.



Break off the affair because it is haram... Do it the right way by getting married.

Zhul-Fiqar.:


What makes it "haram"? You should come clear and say Sunnis deem it haram.as for your "vast majority of muslims", you're referring to Sunnis;and that include nigerians muslims who are practically Sunnis,but do not know what they are or literally deny being Sunnis like Maclatunji and Sweetnecta .

SALAM!

BetaThings:

It is clearly haram
It is equally clear that Shias recommend it but don't want their daughters to do it
I always ask - whose daughter, sister or wife?
If the brother starts with Mut'ah, he will never find satisfaction in a normal marriage
Look at this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opCoUc8Rs_M

Zhul-Fiqar.:
@ the above

Few points to note:

1. Bad believers malpractice of a particular religious act does not make the act bad or forbidden.there are people caught going to hajj to pro$titute.does that mean we should stop going to hajj? There are rich saudis (Sunnis) who go to yemen to do permanent marriage with poor yemeni girls.after the saudi men use them for the intimate desires they abandon the marriage and flee to saudi arabia.should we ban marriage altogether?

2. There are many good examples to take if mut'ah marriage is applied according to the rules and conditions of Islam.mut'ah is not obligatory,but if it can work for you and in a positive way on the basis of the fear of Allah,then do it.

3. Like I earlier stated and I maintain,and I'm not ready to go into argument over it,mut'ah marriage is halal in islam.it is established beyond doubt it was umar,the second sunni caliph who banned it.mut'ah marriage was practiced during the days of the Prophet (s) and into the caliphate of abu bakr,the first sunni caliph.am I to follow the Prophet (s) or Umar?

4. Do not forbid what Almighty Allah permitted in the Quran.if you don't like it,then say so and stay clear of it.we know Sunnis forbid it and the Shia don't.that's enough,without trying to sound silly.

5. Sunnis have abandoned mut'ah marriage permitted by Allah and His Prophet (s) to create the bid'ah known as MISYAR marriage.follow the sunnah of the Prophet (s) and not the sunnah of someone else or a bid'ah alien to Islam.a word is enough for the wise!

SALAM!!!

vedaxcool: ^
You go mind am, the fact that the scholars and even Imams of shias reduce mutah to prostitution by saying women in mutah are like girls for hire or that when a pregnancy shows up it is non of the man's business clearly shows how undignifying such arrangement, what is more horrible is that the Prophet pbuh actually prohibited such marriage during his life time and like drinking alcohol it was more of an arab custom that the zorostrian regime has elevated to the hight of theology making it seem clearly that mutah is a sure route to success in religion! That in itself is a pity! People could read more on the vilness of this practices. www.nairaland.com/828259/mutah-pimps-quran.

www.nairaland.com/828391/mutah-pimps

www.nairaland.com/828367/plea-muslim-sister

vedaxcool: Al-Kafi is one of the four Shia
books of Hadith; of the four, it is
considered the most authoratative
and authentic. We read one such
Sahih Hadith, in which the Imam
says:

“One who engages in Mutah
once in his lifetime reaches the
status of Imam Al-Hussain. One
who engages in it twice becomes
equal in status to Imam Al-Hasan.
The one who performs it three
times reaches the position of Imam
Ali. And he who practices it four
times acquires the level and
position of the Prophet
Muhammad.”
(Furoo al-Kafi)

I am waiting on the shias to curse Al kafi for this huge blasphemy!

The narrator asked Imam Baqir about
the women of Mutah. The Imam said,
“She is not among those four [women
classified as wives] because she
neither needs a divorce, nor is [a child
born of her] entitled to any
inheritance. She is like a hired
woman.” (Al-Kafi)
Spits three times!
A child derived from muta simply is equivalent to a bastard that is what the imam is indicating, it is very laughable that a sane mind will expect the dad of a woman involved in muta to bear the cost of taking care of the child from muta when clearly the father of such a child is known!

please,you do not have the knowledge to pass such rulings.
Jameel bin ad-Dari said that he asked
Imam Jafar as-Sadiq if Mutah was
permissible with a virgin girl. The
Imam said, “There is no harm in it if
the girl is not too young. However, all
of the collectors of hadith agree that
a nine-year-old girl is not considered
too young.” (Al-Kafi)



And a very strange twist is that muta "marriages" do not even require a witness!

Read more of muta hadiths here

theauthenticbase./2010/01/07/the-shia-fiqh-of-mutah/

In iran they have what they call Brothels sorry House of chastity where they house muta women, people simply walk into such houses and within an hour a marriage is dissolved and any resultant pregnancy becomes her fathers headache and yet shia pretend that theirs is a religion founded on justice, yet such justice only involves cleaning mouth and leaving a girls father who might even been extremely poor to struggle with the consequence of the chopping! This one na real ayatollah sense!