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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / I Think Am Funny!!!! (4496 Views)
I Think Am Dating Mtn ( Spam Messages Problems) / Na Only For Naija...lmao *think Am* / People Think Am Hot! (2) (3) (4)
I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 2:29am On Dec 08, 2012 |
On a sunday ,a gang went into a church and started closing windows and doors. Dey told the congregation that they were goin to kill everyone but in Alphabetical orda. they went 2 the Rev. What is your name? Rev;zoseph Zmith lucky you pianist;My name is Zemmanuel Zambali but one of the ushers ova dere is Akpors samuel "you lyin bastard",Akpors screamed at the top of his voice"Oga my friends call me Zzzakpors Zzzamule" (who wan die?) ;DOn a sunday ,a gang went into a church and started closing windows and doors. Dey told the congregation that they were goin to kill everyone but in Alphabetical orda. they went 2 the Rev. What is your name? Rev;zoseph Zmith lucky you pianist;My name is Zemmanuel Zambali but one of the ushers ova dere is Akpors samuel "you lyin bastard",Akpors screamed at the top of his voice"Oga my friends call me Zzzakpors Zzzamule" (who wan die?) www.facebook.com/guvnasmookey
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Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 2:49am On Dec 08, 2012 |
Dame Patience went out for drink with some of the top women…. Waiter brings their bill: Dame Patience N10,400 Ngozi Okonjo. N10,250 Dora Akunyili. N10,450 Turai Yar’adua. N10,200 Total. N41,300 She says: I will pay for everyone else, but Total must pay for herself because I didn’t invite her, afterall she owns petrol stations all over Nigeria! 2 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 3:13am On Dec 08, 2012 |
Obioma & Akpos dey scatter fight outside examination hall, classmates gather. Wetin happen na? Akpos : Dis idiot copy me 4 exam! Obioma: Copy wetin? I no write anything, na blank sheet i submit! Akpos : Una don see am? Na blank sheet I submit too! The examiner go think say we copy from each other!. 1 Like |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 3:29am On Dec 08, 2012 |
May God deliver us from all these Facebook grammars: "To hair is human to forgive is design" "I hate guys wit low selves of steam". "You are a blessing to your generator". "I am a soccer for guys wit six park". "My bb charger is no longer walking". "Anybody who supports this killings is a carnival" Be magnified oh Lord, you are highly exhausted ♫♪ Be thou exhausted, exhausted ♫♪ You are handsome in this place mighty God ♫♪ Crucified laid behind a stove" ♫♪ Upsome God, mighty God ♫♪ abeg follow my fanpage@ www.facebook.com/guvnasmookey 2 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 3:54am On Dec 08, 2012 |
Akpos again!!! Akpos came home crying from school. His Father went back with him to find out why his teacher beat him. Papa Akpos: Teacher why you beat my Pikin? Teacher: Ask your son what he did? Papa Akpos: Akpos wetin u do? Akpos: I asked her why is Bra singular when it covers 2 items and Panties plural when it covers just 1 item? Papa Akpos: Osalobuwa! Teasher don teash my pikin nonsense! LIKE My fanpage@ www.facebook.com/guvnasmookey 1 Like |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 9:14am On Dec 09, 2012 |
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you'rein bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed, a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife : "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on ?" "Nonsense," said the wife,"You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. Damn, you're right!!!!! 3 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 9:18am On Dec 09, 2012 |
AKPORS AND THE EGG SELLER Akpors: How much are ur eggs? Egg seller: BIG ones go for N30, SMALL ones N25 and CRACKED ones N5. Akpors hands her N30 and says, "Crack me 6 BIG ones" 4 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 9:23am On Dec 09, 2012 |
A Chinese man called a Prostitute house & asked for the services of their most talented & energetic girl. The girl finally got to his home & they started having sex. Once he was done, he jumped off the bed, ran to the window, took a deep breath, went under the bed & came out the other side & started having sex with the girl again.. After he had finished the 2ndtime, he again jumped off the bed, ran to the window, went under the bed & came out the other side & started again..This he did 8 more times! The girl was impressed by his Stamina. After they finished the 10th time, she decided to try it herself. So, she jumped off the bed, ran to the window, took a deep breath, went under the bed & saw 9 more Chinese men.... 1 Like |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 6:21am On Dec 10, 2012 |
This is sooooo funny: HaHaHaHa Girlfriend : (Low Voice) Sweety, Last night I had a dream about you. : Akpors : (excited) Oooh, Tell me Somtin Honey : Girlfriend : I dreamt We were traveling in a bus, Suddenly the bus lost control & fell in the river. Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone. : Akpors : (with luv) : Oh, Definately, i was searching for You..Right?" : Girlfriend : (Frown) NO, You were shouting, Driver! Driver!!, Please, Give me My Change before You Die.. 5 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 8:16pm On Dec 11, 2012 |
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you'rein bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed, a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife : "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on ?" "Nonsense," said the wife,"You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. Damn, you're right!!!!! Click LIKE if you understand. 2 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by Valiantvaliant(m): 10:12pm On Dec 12, 2012 |
I've seen most of them before except the facebook grammer stuff, realy cracked me up . Well done! |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by Nobody: 10:35pm On Dec 12, 2012 |
I think you are funny |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 6:01am On Dec 13, 2012 |
::::::tenx pretiE::::: I THINK MOST NAIRALANDERS DONT THINK AM FUNNY : : : . : . : . . : . : : : : . : . . : . . : . : . . : : : : : : : : : : THATS IF THEY THINK ATAL |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 12:37pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
On Christmas, Santa will bring for : -Messi : A record book (so he can see which record to break) - Cristiano ronaldo : shampoo for his hair - Brazilian ronaldo : hamburgers - Balotelli : a brain - Nasri : A new bench - Ribery : A halloween mask ( so he can look more beautiful) - Van Persie : toys for the little boy inside him - Valdez : huge gloves (so he can stop some goals) - Sir Alex Fergunson : Pack of chewing-gums - Ozil : New glasses - Cisse : A physics book - Torress: A scoring Brain |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 12:49pm On Dec 20, 2012 |
Hahahahahaha! I was a Candidate at a JAMB Examination. We were writing Use Of English. I shaded the ones i knew and was waiting for manner to fall from Heaven when i noticed a very beautiful girl sitting beside me. She was shading and was not looking up. Through the help of my long neck, i peeped and checked her work, she was in number 65, i was still in number 21 and time was running out. I quickly thanked God and started shading along with her. We got to number 98 together, suddenly, she looked up, caught me and shouted in a low tone; What are it? Why is you dey copying me? Copys! copys! You is not shaming! As big as you dey! You is a dull boys! You are a disgrace to your manhood. Na so i shout; heeeey! heeeeyyy!!! heeeyyyy!!! I am finished yay, who has eraser eeeehhhh!!!!!!!! Lol LIKE and COMMENT to encourage me please... 5 Likes
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Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 8:06pm On Dec 21, 2012 |
Sergeant Akpors a police officer arrested a man urinating at a place clearly marked "Do not urinate here, fine N500.'' The offender wanting to pay the fine, gives the Sergeant Akpors a N1000 note, The Sergeant Akpors turns around, fumbles a bit and says to the man, 'Oga now, piss again, I no get change...' 1 Like |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by Kunbee: 12:44am On Dec 23, 2012 |
Well done |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 5:36am On Dec 23, 2012 |
A set of 7 months old twin babies in the womb saw a d1cck comming towards them, the 1st baby said; "Daddy is comming to inside to play with us". The 2nd baby replied; Mumu; you no get sense! It's not Daddy, it's uncle. Daddy doesn't cover his face with a nylon when he wants to play with us. You will see, this one will not give us ice cream when he is leaving=))=)) 2 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 6:25am On Jan 26, 2013 |
A man gets on a bus and sees a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and pleads with her: "You are so attractive and I must have sexx with you." ... "No," she replies, "I'm married to God." She stands up, and gets off at the next stop. The man is devastated. The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the man and says: "I can tell you how to get to make love with her!" "Yeah?", says the man. "Yeah!" say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray. So all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that glowing powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be an Angel. "The man promises to give it a Try, and arrives at the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night. "I am an Angel," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about His face. "God has directed me to make love with you." The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal s*x, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity. The man agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. This was the best sexx he had ever had. After finishing, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish. "Ha-ha," he laughed happily. "Surprise surprise, I am the man from the bus!" "Ha-ha," replied the nun. "Surprise surprise I am the bus driver and I am gay!!" #na so d quy take faint.....lol www.fabook.com/guvnasmookey 3 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by larride(m): 8:10am On Jan 26, 2013 |
^^^^^^^^^^^ |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by Lagusta(m): 8:34am On Jan 26, 2013 |
uprigt_d: A man gets on a bus and sees a pretty young Now this one made me laaaaf sotey I nearly hugged transformer |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by tayyibb(m): 9:42am On Jan 26, 2013 |
uprigt_d: A man gets on a bus and sees a pretty younglo...ls so soo funny |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 10:32am On Feb 03, 2013 |
[color=#000099][/color] Akpos trying to avoid paying Doctor's fee after an eye operation, so he says," Doctor, I still can't see." The Doctor then asks a sexy young and beautiful Nurse to UnCloth in frontof him." He again says," I can't see!" Doctor tells the Nurse to open her legs. Again he says," Gai! Doctor I can't see!" Doctor says," you are an slowpoke, if you can't see how come your pr1ck dey rise? hehehehe 1 Like |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by tayyibb(m): 12:40pm On Feb 03, 2013 |
uprigt_d: [color=#000099][/color]lol...his weaknes reveald him |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 7:42am On Feb 05, 2013 |
ATTENTION MALI !!! Any attempt, attempted attempt, group of attempts, variable attempt, fixed attempt, debit or credit attempts to stop us from winning; 1. We would withdraw our troops from Mali. 2. You would pay us the 7 billion our govt spent on your war. 3. We would encourage the tuareg rebels to return. The ball is in your court, pass it to Emenike when d time koms. Una hear me so A word is enough for d wise... Heheheheheehehe hehehehee...... God don catch una today!!! Signed THE PRESIDENCY |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 11:26pm On Feb 07, 2013 |
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. " The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a Taxi driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years. Hahahaha! Like if you get the Joke 5 Likes |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 12:57pm On Feb 19, 2013 |
Three Nurses were in a Night shift when one of them realised that one of the Male patients was dead as she Was examining Him, she Noticed that He had a 'Hard On' she thought to Herself and said, 'Im soo Hot I cant let this go to Waste.! She Rushed and called the others.. She said, "I Cant let this go to waste!" she undressed and jumped on him,, and started enjoying herself.. After a while, the second Nurse pulled her out and said, "Its My time!" she Jumped on Him, and Started pumping Vigorously.. After a while of Enjoyment, the third nurse said to herself, "Am on my Periods, but He is dead anyway!'' she pulled Out the 2nd Nurse and Jumped On him... In the Middle of Her enjoyment, the 'dead' Man woke up! They got soo surprised and asked the man,"We thought you were Dead?" the Man said, "yeah I was, but with the repeated Pumping and Some Blood transfusion, I came Back to Life!" |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 9:20am On May 01, 2013 |
I went to a cinema with Akpos, on getting to the cinema we saw a guy that barbed bololo (skin cut). I showed the guy to Akpos and said; "Look at fresh head, this one is good to slap, but i'm afraid of the guy's face". Akpos then said to me; "Max, you fear alot, i will slap that head and nothing will happen". I dared him to do it and he went to where the guy was sitting and gave him a HOT SLAP on his head. The guy was surprised, and wanted to react, then Akpos said; "Bros Max, so you are here, when we are looking for you at home". The guy said; "I'm not Bros Max, maybe we look alike", Akpos said maybe. After some minutes In the cinema, Akpos called me again and said; "Max, i will slap that guy again and nothing will happen". I said "ok". He went to the guy, gave him a hot slap and said; "Bros Max stop lying, i say na u be dis". The guy said to him angrily; "I'm not Bros Max, please, let me be". The guy then left that spot for us and went to the front seat. After some minutes Akpos called me and said; " Max, i will slap that guy again and nothing will happen". This time i told him that "if anything happens, i will pretend as if i don't know him". He stood up, went to the front seat, gave the guy a very hot slap and said; "Bros Max, so na here you dey, i come dey slap another person for back. Hahahaha... LIKE www.facebook.com/guvnasmookey 1 Like |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 6:27am On Aug 07, 2014 |
Imagine if we put the names of food b4 our yoruba names, we would have interesting names like: Ebawale, Fufusegun, Sakisanmi, Iresitayo, Akaratobi, Ogibola, Dodobunmi, Ejadupe, Ponmowunmi, Isuyemi, Moinmointope, Bolikunle, Amalafunmi, Iyanseun, Semolola, Eransunkanmi, Efofemi, Eweduwole 1 Like |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by PrincessB1(f): 8:42pm On Aug 07, 2014 |
So funny L L |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by gboss0(m): 8:58pm On Aug 07, 2014 |
uprigtd: [color=#000099][/color]badddo |
Re: I Think Am Funny!!!! by uprigtd: 12:22am On Aug 09, 2014 |
entered a bus from Ikeja to Oshodi. After some minutes, i decided to scare the passengers. So i brought out my fone.. and started faking a call. '' hello oga, i don dey press dat button since but d bomb no gree blow. Na d blue one or d red one? Ok d red one? I go do am now''. Come and see reactions. Igbo man: (picks his fone to make a call) ''hello Chuwkudi, run now to apapa and wait for my container. Its like i will die today but make sure u collect my money from obinna".. Yoruba woman: '' driver wêré, apayan. So u cant stop for somebody to come down, abi? Oloshi.. I was just laughin inside of me until d hausa man sitting close to me said. Hausa man: ''oka abeg, dat time i dey make am for call, where dem say make I press so dat the bomb I go blow? Becos I don dey press my own sef since and d tin never blow. Na then I shout "Chai, Egbami ooo... Moku, Mogbe Modaran!!!! 1 Like |
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