slimyem: Yes o..
It is very important.If you know where you are coming from,you should also where you are going.
It doesn't make sense to go marry a first born of a family with seven siblings and financially incapable parents when you are from an indigent family with responsibilities of your own.
Wisdom should be applied in cases like this else it'll put a strain on the marriage so much one'd wish to not have made that choice.

BABE!:
LMAO @ kobojunkie. Lol. I've never seen anyone so lost and clueless on this forum. Makes me wonder if he/she is related to Sisi_kill.

maclatunji: ^You will stay long in wonderland with this your analysis and still find the issues staring you in the eye like Olumo Rock when you are done.

Sisi_Kill:
She's my Aunty....how could not have guessed that?
Babe, you are slow oh.

Sisi_Kill:
She's my Aunty....how could not have guessed that?

Babe, you are slow oh.

Sisi_Kill:
Uncle mi I am surprised you say this considering you first post is knee deep in psychology and psychology is all about analysis.

Oy veh!

maclatunji:

Which "evil spirit" called you to answer that post? Sheath your saber lady, if you keep silent it will be pointless for her to try to incite you.

Sisi_Kill:
Uncle mi mind ya own oh.

You do not meddle when two sisters are fighting. We will soon dump the wahala on you and start talking about CL pumps and why Kim Kardershian should never wear leather...anything. This, of course, comes after talking about the intricacies of dealing with men who like to meddle when two sisters are fighting. Where does that compulsion come from? Can it be rooted in something as benign as birth order or does the domineering male trait have something to do with it? Hnmmmmm.

BABE!:
LMAO @ kobojunkie. Lol. I've never seen anyone so lost and clueless on this forum. Makes me wonder if he/she is related to Sisi_kill.

Quads:

You perfectly well understood what I typed and as someone said you just don't give up. Ur're just like a drowning man grabbing at straws

Sisi_Kill: You know this topic has always confused me. I understand how birth order can affect personality....first borns being bossy, middle children being the peacemaker, the compromiser and last borns being the happy go lucky people but when it comes to the responsibility that supposedly comes with these roles, I'm thrown for a loop.

If the first guy from a wealthy family marries the first girl from a wealthy family is he responsible for all her burdens? Does she even have burdens?

If the first guy from a poor family marries the first girl from a wealthy family is she responsible for his first born responsibility? Or is does the mantle fall on the next sibling in his family who is doing marginally better than him.

How would it work if they were bith 3rd borns from poor families or 3rd borns from rich families?

What about a first born from a poor family who is doing ok but decides to put self first (some might call it selfish but the first born can rationalize it by saying how can they help others stand on 2 legs when they are standing on one)

Many questions like these whirl through my mind when this kinda topic comes up and in my own opinion, using the person's birth order to predict what kinda marital problems one might face is too simplistic in it's approach...especially if we use that approach for only children (there will be a high School rate of unmarried people. ..that much I know. )

So other factors surely play into it.

Factors like

1) The kinda family they are from...their are some families who will burn their homes down with everyone in it before they beg. And there are some family whose mantra is MORE. Nothing is ever enough, they could own ten times more than you and still want the little you have.

2) The person's attitude...there are some people who can be very firm with their decisions and there are people pleasers....and how they choose to relate to others is rooted in that not the birth order they are.

3) Our Society ..unfortunately we live in a superficial society where people use all sorts of criteria to judge how well someone is doing. This can affect the way we act. ...someone who allows themselves to be defined by others will do anything to keep their status quo. ..even if they have to take a knife to their noses. People like these regardless of the birth order they occupy will always have issues in their marriage. I can't let my friends think I am not doing well because my sister was seen taking a bus to school so I will use all the money u have to buy my family a car. I don't want people to think I didn't marry right so I will make sure my family eats food we never ate before I got married etc.


Finally, i'd say our so called African ways and it's expectations makes us makes us Bipolar in our thinking.....Let's be sincere here, if you met a man or a woman who tells you point blank. ...I don't believe in helping family. Every one is on their own with me oh. Will you still consider marrying this person? I don't need to take a poll to know that majority will say no. So if you aren't gonna accept someone like that, why do you penalized someone who is the opposite.

Instead of addressing the real issue and maybe try to invoke a paradigm shift in our way of thinking we latch on to the simplest explanation, base our decision making process on it. ...then we wonder why we still have the same problems....I mean what happens if you married a last child and they turn out to be responsible for things you thought only applied to first children? What do you do then?

BABE!:



You did attempt to make some sense (surprisingly).
If an average man is marrying a first born/daughter from a rich family, he really has nothing to worry about compared to them being lower middle class or still struggling. It's the Nigerian way.

Biko, talk sense into your aunty. She's lost.

Kobojunkie:

As expected, no substance to refute anything posted, only the usual/typical drool from the average block . . . NEXT!!

Quads:

I had to go back and read the OP's post and your reply and my reply to you to make sure that I didnt miss anything. The OP pointed out financial responsibilities and careless attitude of the wife's younger ones while you in your psedo analysis jumped on the financial aspcect alone. Descartes wannabe ,I see you passing off as a pseudo intellect whereas you're not the sharpest tool in the box. Mbok take several seats

Kobojunkie:

Because every family where the siblings are financially irresponsible, and careless, the FIRST BORN ALWAYS makes himself/herself responsible for correcting their PERSONAL MISTAKE. Somehow "Family Position" is what mandates that FIRST BORNS take responsibility for the stu_pid mistakes of the careless siblings, not love or a desire to help but "FAMILY POSITION". You must be the genius in your own set up, abi?

Quads:

If you like highlight or lowlight whatever, it doesn't take away from the fact that your pseudo analysis isn't flying on this thread. Philosopher general

lekibraky: its a good question you have posted i cant blame those who check your positon before getting married to you. if you marry a girl who is first born in a family of 7 as a guy and the family is poor they will live up to you which might be burdensome to you too but if the bride's family is ok you can go ahead without thinking twice