victord1st: so its now uncivilized for invited guest to come with their spouses.wouldn't attend any wedding if my wife isnt in town talk less of when she cant come because she isnt invited.
@poster,are plnning ur wedding for only 300 bachelor that cant even come with their fiance?

She did not say so at all,she said invited and uninvited guests.

babyosisi:

Do you have a list of your invited guests and their phone numbers
Have you sent out invitations yet
How many invitation cards did you send out including the ones distributed by family members on your behalf


Let me give you tips
I hope you are just starting the planning now so I can suggest what you can do

yeah we have all the names of those coming. We printed out 200 card. My parent and in laws have been reasonable and seem to respect our wishes as they have a list of all the people who have RSVP and kept the names. Our problem is the so called young friends. They seem to get out of control and tell everyone they meet.

ajasa4link: Bros u dey para gan o......the truth is,no matter how hard u try to implement what u are planning,it won't work out.... I've once been to a party where big men and women were in attendance and even k1 played as the musician and a lot of bouncers were used including mopol and soldiers. Even as at that people still gate crashed the event. Just try and plan for the unwanted guests and count it as giving back to the society.... This is africa o....

SECONDED.VERY TRUE TALK.

You can't escape the wedding crashers. Just make provisions for the anticipated uninvited guests.

Police, bouncers, security and a huge 'bounced' crowd outside your wedding venue won't be a very pretty sight.

Indicate on your wedding IV that item 7 will be jollof rice without meat. Trust me, the uninvited vultures will not come, except the ones who genuinely love you, meat or no meat

victord1st: so its now uncivilized for invited guest to come with their spouses.wouldn't attend any wedding if my wife isnt in town talk less of when she cant come because she isnt invited.
@poster,are uplanning ur wedding for only 300 bachelors that cant even come with their fiance?

we cater for those who have spouses. spouses are not exempt. my problem is friends of friend. let me put it in perspective. i invited a friend who invited 5 other strangers. one of the strangers is planning to bring another friend. i only knew about it cos my friend called to ask whether there is ashebi cos one of the friends friend who is coming can help me organize it. first there was no courtesy to ask if her friend could come but she has also endorsed her friends friend coming. For those who think i am harsh, she was uninvited

Let me share my plans with u. U want 300 pple, get 310 seats. Make sitting arangement and paste the name of every invited guest on each seat. Let me see where the gate crashers will seat.
Btw, the 10 extra seats are for unforeseen circumstances

babyosisi:

I support you 110%, do it
If I were your sister,I will volunteer to stand at that door and bounce people not on the list

ARES: Let me share my plans with u. U want 300 pple, get 310 seats. Make sitting arangement and paste the name of every invited guest on each seat. Let me see where the gate crashers will seat.
Btw, the 10 extra seats are for unforeseen circumstances

My mum suggested same but i was told that they will seat on the seat reserved for guest and because they owe you no iota of respect and they dont know you, they are ready to fight with your guest over seat. also bear in mind that such unwanted guest go early. i just feel like i am fighting a lost battle

You wan show yourself abi? Guy you go go do your wedding for Pluto ooo, we ready scatter everywhere, bounce your bouncer join self

.

I don't even know why I'm laughing, bros just take your wedding venue outside the country that way you may achieve what you want.

Very easy just start telling everyone your wedding date 1 or 2 weeks to the day

zinfly:

yeah we have all the names of those coming. We printed out 200 card. My parent and in laws have been reasonable and seem to respect our wishes as they have a list of all the people who have RSVP and kept the names. Our problem is the so called young friends. They seem to get out of control and tell everyone they meet.

First of all expecting 300 and sending out 200 cards is a bit tough
Many of your guests are married I suppose and some with children so one card could bring a family of 4 or more
To get a crowd of 300 or within that figure,you should not give out more than 120 cards.
Assuming 20 card holders fail to show up ,your hundred cards will fetch an average of two people ( husband and wife) and then the other 100 will be children
So IMHO you started off on the high side already
Not to worry but you have work to do to have number of guests you require

What to do

1. Get your trusted friends and family members to call every single invited guest to RSVP on the phone with the exact number coming
2. Politely tell them the reception is by invitation only
3. Warn those young friends ahead of time that they cannot bring guests,you can make exceptions to very close friends but get the name of the guest they are bringing so they know you are serious.
4.make sure the hotel or reception venue has the number of seats corresponding to guests and more
5. Have names placed on the tables according to number of guests on each IV e.g a table that seats 12 can have the Adelabu family of 5,the Okoro family of 3 and the Fiberesima family of 4
Call it table 1 with a clear sign there that says table one so when the Okoro family comes in,you know they are on table one.
If you know people who are friends,have them sit together if you wish
6. Have your hostesses and hosts walk them to their tables,each one holding that pre made list and seating arrangement with the floor plan.
7. Have the event venue reserve an unmarked table for anyone you missed out.

For this method to work you must have reliable people to man the door and they have to be there before the guests arrive at the reception
You need to have a meeting with them ahead of time,go to the venue with them before the wedding day so they are familiar with the place.
Agree on polite words to use when turning people away who are not on the list and have security standby for any trouble makers.


With this method,you will get close to your expected number.
Stick to your guns and don't mind anyone who says otherwise
It is your wedding
It is one thing you are free to do as you want.

val_dubem: when U were carrying ur longer throat up and down peoples wedding and parties, did anybody bounce you? now you want to Chase people away from your own. What is good for Obi should equally be good for Musa.

LMAO

zinfly:

My mum suggested same but i was told that they will seat on the seat reserved for guest and because they owe you no iota of respect and they dont know you, they are ready to fight with your guest over seat. also bear in mind that such unwanted guest go early. i just feel like i am fighting a lost battle

That is if you allow them through the door
The key is not letting them get past the door into the reception venue
They will only hang around a while and then find okada begin go back
If I open my story here of uninvited guests you people will begin to use hanky to cry for me
At my parents event they tackled my own child to the floor and snatched the souvenirs in her hands
Strangers we didn't know
They were putting bottles of maltina and sprite inside their handbags,after the function we had crates without bottles
Some were seen pouring plates of rice into a polythene in their handbags and then tell the servers they had not been served.
Uninvited guests are a mess in any function
They take up seats not meant for them
I dislike gate crashers

babyosisi:

First of all expecting 300 and sending out 200 cards is a bit tough
Many of your guests are married I suppose and some with children so one card could bring a family of 4 or more
To get a crowd of 300 or within that figure,you should not give out more than 120 cards.
Assuming 20 card holders fail to show up ,your hundred cards will fetch an average of two people ( husband and wife) and then the other 100 will be children
So IMHO you started off on the high side already
Not to worry but you have work to do to have number of guests you require

What to do

1. Get your trusted friends and family members to call every single invited guest to RSVP on the phone with the exact number coming
2. Politely tell them the reception is by invitation only
3. Warn those young friends ahead of time that they cannot bring guests,you can make exceptions to very close friends but get the name of the guest they are bringing so they know you are serious.
4.make sure the hotel or reception venue has the number of seats corresponding to guests and more
5. Have names placed on the tables according to number of guests on each IV e.g a table that seats 10 can have the Adelabu family of 5,the Okoro family of 3 and the Fiberesima family of 4
Call it table 1 with a clear sign there that says table one so when the Okoro family comes in,you know they are on table one.
If you know people who are friends,have them sit together if you wish
6. Have your hostesses and hosts walk them to their tables,each one holding that pre made list and seating arrangement with the floor plan.
7. Have the event venue reserve an unmarked table for anyone you missed out.

For this method to work you must have reliable people to man the door and they have to be there before the guests arrive at the reception
You need to have a meeting with them ahead of time,go to the venue with them before the wedding day so they are familiar with the place.
Agree on polite words to use when turning people away who are not on the list and have security standby for any trouble makers.


With this method,you will get close to your expected number.
Stick to your guns and don't mind anyone who says otherwise
It is your wedding
It is one thing you are free to do as you want.

Thanks for your advise,its very much appreciated. we have a separate room that can accommodate 50 kids and they will have like a kiddi party for them with lots of fun stuff for them to do. We are doing our best to accommodate all our guest. I dated my fiance for 10 years and for both of us this is like the icing on the cake for our relationship. we just want it very intimate and special to those who know our story.

@poster. You have to create room for exigency.
Just invite a few bouncers and tell them not to grant access to people who are poorly dressed.
I once attended a wedding last year in VI. It was very classy. Most of the guests were people from Mobile Oil company. The service was held in COD. Come and see dressing, it was like red carpet reception.
The bouncers were even neatly dressed. People who were not properly dressed were not given access. They no born area boy to enter.

There are very few wedding planners that successfully stop uninvited guests. I have been at a governor's daughter's wedding where there was SSS as bouncers yet there was a whole bunch of uninvited guests in hall.

One way to MINIMISE uninvited guests is to hold the wedding out of town in a rather rural area that neither of the couple have lots of known people eg Obudu Cattle Ranch.

Another way is to send out invites to as few people as possible. If you are preparing for 300 people you had better send out less than a hundred invites.

zinfly: I need suggestions please. i am getting married soon and would like 300 guest maximum. i have already been advised by a few friends that they will be bringing their friends.

Firstly i find that rude as i understand weddings are meant for close friends and family.

I am considering getting bouncer and security.

Is this acceptable in Nigeria.

If you are sure all you want is 300 guest, then add say 100 or more extras because definitely not all the invited would show up, if you want the crowd to be smaller then stick with 300.

Now list the 300 most important people you want to attend then send cards to them. Make sure strictly by invitation is printed on the card in an obvious but not annoying manner. Like printing other texts in the card ultramarine and printing 'NB: strictly by invitation' in crimson or burnt sienna. Then the whole thing looks beautiful and soft on the eyes but the message has been passed.

For d wedding, have a closed venue-a tent or hall. When I say tent I mean totally closed canopies that are like houses with one entry/exit. Place an usher there to verify IVs and another to direct people with their names on the seat. Lest I forget, there should be at least 2 armed men at the venue, one at the gate and the other patrolling the venue.

These are the ones I remember for now assuming you have a big budget for the wedding.

On the other hand, if your budget is small, just send out 100 IV. create a Facebook IV. At the reception, use a field or whatever u can afford. Add canopies as needed and serve your food selectively-it is quite rude but by doing so, you get to serve your guests properly. The labelling of canopy also helps here, so if its church, family and club that matter most, you deal with those canopies first.

Now you may be wondering how this keeps the uninvited off, the thing is small budgets, you don't bother to keep them off instead you bother with serving those that matter. Also, remember to prepare food for 400 people, so that your guest are well taken care of while the uninvited gets whatever gets to them.

As for coordinating these things I mentioned from your seat, that's why you have a best man and chief bridesmaid, make sure the people used are not scoundrels. Also really trusted family members can also be at your assistance.

Hope this helps and is comprehensive enough.

Zinfly... I have had cause to co-organise around 4 weddings and i do understand your problems. Maybe this might help you with crowd control but it comes at extra cost
1. Do not get bouncers or security at the venue or else u are calling for more enimity than u can ever wish for in your life . FOR example a friend who was fully dressed is turned back at the gate because of no pass...how would that person feel? Humiliated i guess. Best bet is do not disclose the location of the wedding reception 2 any one untill 24-48hrs b4 the wedding thru sms or calls. You can as well get a pre announced meeting point before guest would be transported in the bus you provide to the actual location the wedding is taking place. You can as well send food items to your relatives home. Or maybe u organise another reception at your place for those you filtered out. But remember this,the ceremony would go but its the people i.e. friends and relative that would remain. Best wishes

zinfly: I need suggestions please. i am getting married soon and would like 300 guest maximum. i have already been advised by a few friends that they will be bringing their friends.

Firstly i find that rude as i understand weddings are meant for close friends and family.

I am considering getting bouncer and security.

Is this acceptable in Nigeria.

If you are sure all you want is 300 guest, then add say 100 or more extras because definitely not all the invited would show up, if you want the crowd to be smaller then stick with 300.

Now list the 300 most important people you want to attend then send cards to them. Make sure strictly by invitation is printed on the card in an obvious but not annoying manner. Like printing other texts in the card ultramarine and printing 'NB: strictly by invitation' in crimson or burnt sienna. Then the whole thing looks beautiful and soft on the eyes but the message has been passed.

For d wedding, have a closed venue-a tent or hall. When I say tent I mean totally closed canopies that are like houses with one entry/exit. Place an usher there to verify IVs and another to direct people with their names on the seat. Lest I forget, there should be at least 2 armed men at the venue, one at the gate and the other patrolling the venue.

These are the ones I remember for now assuming you have a big budget for the wedding.

On the other hand, if your budget is small, just send out 100 IV. create a Facebook IV. At the reception, use a field or whatever u can afford. Add canopies as needed and serve your food selectively-it is quite rude but by doing so, you get to serve your guests properly. The labelling of canopy also helps here, so if its church, family and club that matter most, you deal with those canopies first.

Now you may be wondering how this keeps the uninvited off, the thing is small budgets, you don't bother to keep them off instead you bother with serving those that matter. Also, remember to prepare food for 400 people, so that your guest are well taken care of while the uninvited gets whatever gets to them.

As for coordinating these things I mentioned from your seat, that's why you have a best man and chief bridesmaid, make sure the people used are not scoundrels. Also really trusted family members can also be at your assistance.

Hope this helps and is comprehensive enough.

vul_dudem. pls tel he let he hear. nice 1.

zinfly:

My mum suggested same but i was told that they will seat on the seat reserved for guest and because they owe you no iota of respect and they dont know you, they are ready to fight with your guest over seat. also bear in mind that such unwanted guest go early. i just feel like i am fighting a lost battle

This will work if the seating area is far from the checking area, btw, u can contract me for the job. Me and the boy have some serious hardware that will scare the shiit out of hitler, not to talk of uninvited guests

You people are not serious sef.who get time to dey attend wedding sef.what food do you want to give.e pass rice and wine that someone cannot get elsewhere.abeg I would rather be doing something with my time than be sitting down listening to one useless story of how we met and fall in love

Put gate fee na

Even when you send 10 invitations, the invitees will bring their bros, sis, uncles, aunties, neighbours, with all their kids and their friends with kids and their bros and sis....
They can come from all over the world. As some passingby people see the party bubbling they join aswell. Better prepare its a african tradition you have 2 do it.
Hope ur going to annonce it on NL becos we r ur best friends, so wheres the party?
What u think about a beach party? I hope the beach is big enough to contain all ur guest.

alpha conde: I don't like what you are planning to do

Mchewwww na ur wedding?

See how people dey do.After you don chop people party finish.u wan come bounce people.Ok now,wait an see. I go bring battalion of aere boyzz an olopa sef wey go serve you Mr groom correct slap.
4 dis nijah?Na lie.