I have just commenced my thank-you tour to the great nations of the world. As the newly elected first executive president of the world's newest democratic republic, I am naturally expected to observe this important diplomatic ritual.

I must step on the soils of nations in Africa, Asia, Europe and the Americas .

But there is one giant country I would be most pleased to just fly over. It is not that Nigeria is not among the great nations of the world. On the contrary, the country is not only great but it is teeming, gracefully, with good people.

My problem has to do with fear. No, I am not afraid of Boko Haram. Faceless, mindless demons of mass-killing terrorists operate all over the world. Even massively-protected American citizens run for cover at the mere shout of '9 /11' by a five-year old kid playing in company with his peers.

My fear has nothing to do with crime and drug networks. Parallel governments that go by such frightening appellations as Gulf cartel, Los Zetas cartel ,Cali cartel, Los Rastrojos cartel and Medellin cartel operate far away from the country of my interest.

Take a trip to the Indian Ocean high seas, especially off the coast of Somalia if you think Nigerian pirates and kidnappers are world champions. Look beyond the shores of Nigeria if you are concerned about five-star performances from the most digitally sophisticated armed robbers on stage. My concern revolves specifically around fear of Nigerian cows, fear of the red carpet and fear of the unknown.

Have no illusion about it: There are cows in my own country as well. In fact, the cows in my country far outnumber the people. My problem is Nigerian cows are not ordinary; they are sacred. Sacred cows, my home Ministry of Agriculture had warned, do not produce milk for people's consumption; they milk the people dry.

Now dignitaries who are likely to welcome me at the Nigerian airport include governors (past and present), ministers, legislators, traditional rulers, politicians, military officers and even the cabal. Among them, there are too many sacred cows for comfort. And I am afraid, very afraid. Even Super Eagles' Chief Coach, Stephen Keshi, is afraid of sacred cows.

Then, imagine the dicey situation that my presidential jet managed to out manouvre the menace of the grazing cows terrorising Nigerian airports. The authorities would lay a red carpet for me to glamourise my reception.

There is hardly anything I dread more than the Nigerian carpet. Just anything in Nigeria can be swept under the carpet. Indeed, too many unresolved volatile issues in the country are know to have taken comfortable shelter under this internationally notorious national monument.

The reports of probes into earth-shaking scams like the $12 billion Gulf War oil windfall.
Independent Power Project have all been swept under the carpet.
Farouk/Otedola bribery allegation swept under carpet.
Malabu Oil deal swept under carpet.
Pension Fund scam swept under carpet.
Capital market scam swept under carpet.
Aviation probe swept under carpet.
Subsidy probe swept under carpet.
Abuja land scam probe swept under carpet.
Police pension probe swept under carpet.

More to come as i remember


Mr. DELE AKINOLA, a public affairs commentator, from Lagos.
Edited by: OYINBOGOJU

if not for one thing,

i would say you are the most confused human being on earth..

who needs you in Nigeria or did any of them flash you?

ah ah,clear anything like Nigeria from you medulla and let it be..

if una no talk about nigeria every single day, man no go rest..

we done be like dat be say we done be like that and no amount of nonsense word can change it if not THE ALMIGHTY.

see you mouth like,i wont visit nigeria..do any of them know the letter that starts your name?

no let me call you ode.

.

Who is he


A gateman in new york or london?

i want him to answer this..

maybe he's married one akata,gotten one enslaved blue passport,

now he thinks he can throw words to nigeria.

dont push me to go harsh on you..

seedord247: Who is he


A gateman in new york or london?

Never had enough........more

I believe the above statements comes from home based Nigerians.

Why are you so bitter when someone say the simple truth?

You are quick to type rubbish without even going through the body of the message.

That is one thingg El-Rufai said about you people and now you proof him right.

Just few minutes article become problem for you to read.

Only the topic you went through,you start hitting the key board.

Pathetic

eduson77: if not for one thing,

i would say you are the most confused human being on earth..

who needs you in Nigeria or did any of them flash you?

ah ah,clear anything like Nigeria from you medulla and let it be..

if una no talk about nigeria every single day, man no go rest..

we done be like dat be say we done be like that and no amount of nonsense word can change it if not THE ALMIGHTY.

see you mouth like,i wont visit nigeria..do any of them know the letter that starts your name?

no let me call you ode.

I guess you are stuck in a hole

Understanding is the only thing you need to ask God.

Too quick to type and cast aspersions.

eduson77: i want him to answer this..

maybe he's married one akata,gotten one enslaved blue passport,

now he thinks he can throw words to nigeria.

dont push me to go harsh on you..

C'mon boy,why do you feel so bitter?

You can't judge a boolk by its cover.

Why do you judge this article by its topic?

Atleast I'm sure you can read and write.

seedord247: Who is he


A gateman in new york or london?

Aren't you begging for money from the same set of people in London?

You hate people living abroad,at same time people living abroad are the ones saving your a s s.

sheyie2007: .

Since when does full stop (.) Make a word.

Who is the retard here?

Braindead.

why shuld one waist time to read the article where as your topic have made him/her angry?

i read the stuff and it is worthless.why must you criticize to that extent or do you think nairalanders are all nigerians?

be wise bro..and nothing like bitterness from those at home..dnt be suprised we are residing in the same geographical region..
so stop all those mess cus its smelling.

OYINBOGOJU:

Aren't you begging for money from the same set of people in London?

You hate people living abroad,at same time people living abroad are the ones saving your a s s.

Comin from someone that wash toilet to make a living.....

seedord247:

Comin from someone that wash toilet to make a living.....

And thus pay and take care of your expenses with the reward from washing toilet.

Cleaner here are better than Bank Manager in Nigeria.

The least job here is more secured than the best job in Nigeria.

this guy talking toilet and gateman,you need to wisen up...

dont change the topic

eduson77: this guy talking toilet and gateman,you need to wisen up...

dont change the topic

Most of the youths in our environment are too lazy to read.

They judge without any findings.

If you tell them the truth they get better.

The topic is just there but the article brought out the evil things going on in our environment.

But our youth have taken to abuse the little opportunity they through internet.

They have refused to learn and thus they have refused to grow.

To them everybody in abroad are cleaning toilet.

When is it a known fact that its the people in abroad that are clamouring for change in Nigeria.

And even improve the economy with few thousand they are sending home.

OYINBOGOJU: To them everybody in abroad are cleaning toilet.

When is it a known fact that its the people in abroad that are clamouring for change in Nigeria.

And even improve the economy with few thousand they are sending home.

what are you sending back home mR?

Your mate are doing goood back home and you are there sucking white woman kitten for papers.

And you talked about salary.. remember 40% of ya salary goes to the govt.

You are clamoring for change on keyboard

I lived in london for three years and I was shocked at the state of Nigerians (and most other Africans to be honest). For all their chest beating about living in America or Britain, most of them are common cab drivers or toilet cleaners loool. Imagine my shock when I got to London and realized how the useless jobs these people are doing. The ones that have BIG money are usually doing 419 or some other sort of mischief. You would think these people have jobs in city banks and law offices by the way the harp on. Imagine seeing these loudmouths breaking their back cleaning up shit off the floor on the London Underground hahaha...I laughed a lot in my time there.

Loudmouths in the diaspora can fool those that have never set foot out of Nigeria but I've seen you people and I've seen the conditions you live in for the most part.

God Bless Peckham...if you see the way the Nigerians and Jamaicans behave there...And I thought that was a civilized place. Noise makers.

MegaMan2020: I lived in london for three years and I was shocked at the state of Nigerians (and most other Africans to be honest). For all their chest beating about living in America or Britain, most of them are common cab drivers or toilet cleaners loool. Imagine my shock when I got to London and realized how the useless jobs these people are doing. The ones that have BIG money are usually doing 419 or some other sort of mischief. You would think these people have jobs in city banks and law offices by the way the harp on. Imagine seeing these loudmouths breaking their back cleaning up shit off the floor on the London Underground hahaha...I laughed a lot in my time there.

Loudmouths in the diaspora can fool those that have never set foot out of Nigeria but I've seen you people and I've seen the conditions you live in for the most part.

God Bless Peckham...if you see the way the Nigerians and Jamaicans behave there...And I thought that was a civilized place. Noise makers.

ThankGod some1 can comprehend where i'm going tooo...

Who gives a sh*t why this dude won't come near Nigeria?? Is he coming back to give me a contract or pay money into my account??...

i wasn't in support of his topic but you guys have pulled ma legs.

mind you,cleaning toilet is better than staying back there lazing about,looking for girls to impregnant and living your life like a 7th class citizen in your own fathers land.

work is work,so you guys should stop talking like nursery school student..no be person dey niaja dey push truck,dey do alaye?

washing toilet +living in a comfortable environment + 24/7 light+good road + with mannerd pple around no better pass that thing wey em dey do for naija?

i better stay where i can only be put to jail for what i did than to stay where police man wey no go school go wake up early in the morning,shoot your son and you no fit do anything about it.

WISEN UP BOIZ

If people can live a life for washing poo,isn't that better than sending scam mails.

Most of these critics are still the same people that can't afford doing anything on their own without help from abroad.

Why are you people attacking the OP, I think the article was written to jokingly suggest the feelings of president obama about nigeria.
Or did the poster say he is a democratically elected president? Besides the issues raised are true.

he is literally representing obama,
so he deserves what obama deserves.

gbadexy: Why are you people attacking the OP, I think the article was written to jokingly suggest the feelings of president obama about nigeria.
Or did the poster say he is a democratically elected president? Besides the issues raised are true.

Most of the comment above were written by those set of people that will just jump into conclusion by mere looking at the topic without going through the body of the message.

That was exactly what El-Rufai said about Nigerian youth of nowadays.

Too lazy too read

Too dumb to understand.

you and this your El-rufai..lol

eduson77: you and this your El-rufai..lol

O boy i hope you have learnt from the change we are preaching.

even if i will learn,it wont be el-rufia

seedord247:


ThankGod some1 can comprehend where i'm going tooo...

They can't fool me lol. I've seen it...

OYINBOGOJU: If people can live a life for washing poo,isn't that better than sending scam mails.

Most of these critics are still the same people that can't afford doing anything on their own without help from abroad.

Not me. I've been abroad and I've seen how the average Nigerian/African lives. Boasting on the internet won't work with me.

MegaMan2020:


Not me. I've been abroad and I've seen how the average Nigerian/African lives. Boasting on the internet won't work with me.

Leave that restaurant cleaner alone.... He has been in the uk for years without nothin to show for.

Are these not the same set of Nigerian that besiege the embassy for visa,sleeping there all night?

Are these not set of people paying for lottery registration?

What kind of hyprocricy is this?

Typing everything is fine on internet and go back to the corner of their room to beg for Pounds and Dollars.