Growing Up, when we saw kids we always see them no matter how many stuck to their mothers and the Fathers will be absent or even when present they ignore the kids and mother because they believe its the "womans job"
Few Men like My Dad who were Hands on were usually teased and name called. I remember going to a gold course with my Dad and a Golfing mate telling him to stop dragging this children around and to leave them home with their mom after all "they are girls". That was the first day I saw my Dad loose control.

Thankfully these days I see men who take the time to bond with their Children. I see them carry the kids while the Mum follows behind looking relaxed and s3xy,
I see men take their kids out alone a lot, Men attend school recitals, school activities when mummmy is busy at work and theyare free.

I went shopping for Babys Supplies this weekend, Hubby usually gets them but he was so busy, was trying to decide on a product when a young father came and met me and told me it was a great product. Gave me benefits and disadvantages of most of the products on the shelf.
I was so happy and told him so and He said he wants an active part in his childrens lives and not be a financial partner in their lives.

I see Many Daddies change diapers in public and really take time to love and care for their kids.

To these Daddies I say Thank You very much. I love my Father very much because he has always been a huge part of my life, I share so much with him
When Women especially have a great father they hardly go around looking for love in the wrong places, They have great esteem and will have an idea of what they want and not settle for less.
Boys who have a great role model will also learn to treat others with compassion, when they have fathers who make other peoples happiness their priority they will learn life is not just about them and will be more selfless and less self centered.

I say God Bless You good Fathers, I know how hard Nigeria is, the difficulty of working in a harsh environment and making ends meet, yet in the midst of all the curroption and tension you still stay happy and calm and loving to your children. Bless You

I really hope ur thanks is as sincere as it sounds, i think, whether you do these as a father or not, d most important thing is to love & care 4 ur family as a father. I dont think there has been a major generational shift as u painted, my own father did more than my mother for me & i knw lots of us wil say d same. I wud rather be appreciated for d legacy i lay down for my kids rather than changing diapers in public places. Our fathers ve been real fathers, we fathers these days are just learning.

Please help me define legacy. To some people legacy means leaving an inheritance of money and assests.
Let's see, you work all your life spend extra hours gathering and gathering, don't bond with your kids, you leave them with houses and assests and they fight over and spend in a year.
Go to courts and see sibblings from the same mother and father fighting over assests. See Akintolas kids, sibblings from the same mother fighting for years using all sorts of means. See Ewwarems Wives and kids fighting right from the church on his funeral day.

Who here will remember how much His/ her Father spent buying books? But we will all remember the times He helped us read or ride our bycycles.

Provide for your kids but balance is key. Have a presence in their lives, Money is not everything. Love them and help them build their own lives. None of us today in my family is waiting for any legacy from my Dad and he does have a lot of assests, but we have worked and are working to have our own. This is possible because he raised us well, in Love and discipline. With his busy scehdule he took the time to love and raise us

As for being sincere , I will tell you I am not a child, I will not wake up in the morning and have nothing more to do thank give "insincere thanks' To my Husband and other great men.

I get the hate because I am a divorcee but I really fail to understand why everything I write must be questioned because I don't fit into your box.

Take the messsage and leave the messenger, we are adults

madam, u ve really mis understood me, i will never come here & attack u b'cos u r a divorcee. if thats what my comment means to u, then i ve 2 say sorry. What i meant by being sincere there is if ur thanks is really 4 us as fathers or that u really want us 2 be like ur hubby, which i m not. My understanding of how d husband shd relate wit his wife on day 2 day activities differs 4rm yours & dats what ur post is about hence my comment. So my comment s abt d message not d messenger.

Thank You for your apology.
I didn't even mention my husband once in the post, I just gave examples of what I noticed around me. Where did I say I want you to be like my husband?

And also, if any of my pals here writes what i dont really agree with, i question them, and u r one of my pals. May be i shd remind, i ve once benefited 4rm ur gud gesture here but shd i b'cos of that behave like an hypocrite? I agree wit some of what u wrote there no doubt but that dat d fathers of these days are better, i dont agree. Our Fore fathers & fathers deserve more praise than us b'cos they did far more. D Legacy of my father, i wil always appreciate.

debrief08: Thank You for your apology.
I didn't even mention my husband once in the post, I just gave examples of what I noticed around me. Where did I say I want you to be like my husband?

madam, lets not beat around d bush, everything u wrote there is ur hubby put together and both of u r very happy which is gud. Like i said madam there is no problem abt us, i wil always read ur comment, u r someone i ve regard 4.

D fact is that, when we have a good partner, who appreciate us, we should also appreciate them, i dont see anything wrong with appreciating one's partner, if d partner is nice to us. I, as a person do appreciate my hubby each time he surprise me positively with anything, regardless of whatever it is and no matter how small it is. and that is how it should be. So, both of you are still staying d same thing.

Meanwhile, madam Debrief and uncle Bjcole, your attention is needed here:https://www.nairaland.com/1154334/conflict-between-family-career

It's kinda funny. My dad is a kind of person that cares but dosen't know how to show it. Since i was born he hasen't taken me or any of my siblings out before. Also, my dad cannot do any house chores in the house for any reason whatsoever.

I want to be one of those daddies in 2013... So (beautiful, rich) NL babes should PM me....

Thankfully these days I see men who take the time to bond with their Children. I see them carry the kids while the Mum follows behind looking relaxed and s3xy,

i agree with everything except the above

Okija_juju: One word: HOMO`s

See this tribal bushman talking.

Funny enough I prefer taking the baby when we go on family outings like the beach or shopping in shoprite. I don't think it diminishes my role as a man rather it complements it. Family is everything to me. When I was a kid I thought and behaved like a kid, now I am a man I have to act like a man.

Having a family is a wonderful feeling, when you are in the office and stressed out, all you need to think about is the lovely family back home and that eases all the stress

My hubby isn't doing badly at all, our only kids after more than 10 years of marriage are 6 months old. He has changed diapers (gotten sprayed with wee wee in the process), given bathes, wakes up almost every night to give someone the bottle and has learnt to dance azonto by force because it amuses the kids. Meanwhile this is a man whose idea of cooking is to make indomie noodles and who doesnt even know how to use the microwave or the washing machine. He lives by the adage why bark when you have a dog and i am his puppy. He is a strong contender for the crown of undomesticated King but yet when it comes to the kids nothing is too much. I believe it will last because he has always bent backwards where my neices and nephews are concerned. While we were waiting for these two to make their grand arrival he suffered many sleepovers and endured many hours of babysitting with a smile.

Thanks OP, i celebrate them too. To all new generation hands on fathers, I salute!

There are so many negative stories about men, that anytime I see one celebrating anything about men I can only say a big THANK YOU.

So THANK YOU Debrief!

The 90s father or is the neomodern man

This is nice but in a way someone can say it is alien to our roots
Children then were viewed as economic assets from age 7 above
boys as farmers/warriors/hunters
girls as bride prices

This outlook to me is a result of monogamy and economic realities where you are responsible for children up till 25 sef

Note o I changed my sons diaper,fed him expressed milk, mashed noodles and titus fish, buy gerber food, na me dey find all the juices, mandarin orange etc


But maybe na because na my first pikin
LOLz

Thank you Debrief, this is a really good topic. There are so many negative threads about husbands and fathers so this is refreshing.

I also want to say a big thank you to all the hands on Daddies who are not just financial partners. You guys rock! My husband has been hlping, bathe, change daipers and rock our daughter to sleep from day one and I love him all the more for it.

If you're not a dad yet please tear a leaf out of their bookfor the future.

Thank You Claus, that's the aim of the thread. All we see and read about men are how they cheat and ause women, and I know for a fact that there are so many good men around.
I try to celebrate the little things that in my oppinion counts and makes so many women happy.
It is not always about money and Men who take the time to love and care deserve praises.
It also helps young people not to see "all men as the same" and to look beyond the surface.

I will celebrate good qualities and not just highlight bad ones.

mikeujoel: Funny enough I prefer taking the baby when we go on family outings like the beach or shopping in shoprite. I don't think it diminishes my role as a man rather it complements it. Family is everything to me. When I was a kid I thought and behaved like a kid, now I am a man I have to act like a man.

Thumbs up. You should continue to bond with your child every chance you get, it doesn't make you or any other person doing it less of a man. It only makes your child love and appreciate you more.

I don't buy the idea that fathers are supposed to be cold and distant or aloof towards their kids. That way of thinking is so archaic and wrong.
Your children would still respect you even if you show them that you are a loving father.

Lol Oyb do you prefer one dragging and being dragged down by the kids looking a hot mess, no time to put together a nice outfit or make a nice hair do and clean up because she is too busy being super woman all alone?
I didn't mean she hands over everything to her husband and does nothing, I mean he helps her take off some load and so she has time to look cool and sexy.

Hmm! By God's grace, i would be part of my daughter's life. As am typing am seeing her face. Amen on behalf of such daddies, i say you welcome. thanks op

My father as an old generation man had new generation man traits..
I celebrate him everyday.
As a kid,he help my mum pound yam while she made stew.
I remember him bathing one child while my mum dressed up the other.
I remember him helping with one or two other things around the house then.Even took us for doctors appointments countless time when my mum had other things to do.
When we were still legging back then,he'd carry my little bro on this neck while my mum held me as we walked home.
He also had pet names for all of us from when we were little and he still calls us by them when he is in high spirits.
God bless him forever!!

God bless them.I kinda think my dad was really not what you would call hands on in the form of chores i.e changing diapers etc but he was really involved in our lives.Everyday his words of wisdom.come through in my life and am so blessed to have had him as my Dad.

I remember my first few days in Uni the man was driving me around,helping keep space in registration lines( you know naija unis are now).After three days i got embarassed and told him i will find my way .Ha ha everybody was looking at me like one daddy's girl.Haa the man made us girls feel so confident of who we are.I remember every month ice cream and burgers at the then Terries and Murphy's burger.Gosh i miss my daddy so much right now i feel like crying.RIP.

I celebrate hubby and all those men who take part in their kids lives so my post wont be like eulogy to my dad.

Okija_juju:


Bros what is that na?!

Where that my babe Slimyem dey sef... WOMAN!!!!

lol.
You go tey!!!

damiso:
I remember my first few days in Uni the man was driving me around,helping keep space in registration lines( you know naija unis are now).After three days i got embarassed and told him i will find my way .Ha ha everybody was looking at me like one daddy's girl.

Lol.
My dad did similar.He constantly embarrased me from coming to check up on me during Jamb lessons,then he'd show up unannounced at my fellowship in school on a sunday and because i couldn't get accomodation in school as a 300L student and he didn't want me staying off-campus,he came to my school to find a way to get the authorities to grant me accomodation.
I tire for the man at some point then but now,i'm just thankful i had and still have him in my life.

..

@Debrief08: thanks for this tread. It ll really help in changing people's orientation about fathers. Some pple re so funny
D OP celebrated her dad n other fathers, dry complained she's referring to her hubby. Some are even dissing d men that do such. Hmmm!

...so, a man shouldn't cook, carry, or clean up his child. How masculine!
What makes a man is something between his legs and a good amount of ego. How accurate.

Okija_juju:


Bros what is that na?!

Na people like una dey spoil the future generation.. Before you know now, to carry pikin, buy pampers, cook and wash pikin pkata go become man work..




_{To all those efeminate men out there, una try o!! God go catch una one day ...}















Where that my babe Slimyem dey sef... WOMAN!!!!