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Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 12:44pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
We all know that Nigerian parents are one of a kind, So we (moi && Shollypopz) have decided to make a thread on the funny things Nigerian parents say. Feel free to add your own, Let's have a laugh I'll start it off. |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 12:45pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
*following* |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 12:45pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Sholly: Daddy can I go to Lauren’s house? Dad: Is she sick? Sholly: No oo ooh Dad: Which kind Lauren’s house? You better go back to your room and finish reading your book. Tell Lauren to come to your own house. Is it only Lauren that have a house Sholly: Mum, I’m hungry Mum: Here is my arm, you and your sisters should come take a bite. “Back in my days, I used to walk 10 miles to get to school" “When I was young, me and my siblings used to share one meat. You better be grateful” "If you get anything less than a B, don't bother coming home today" "You want to study media? Nonsense! In this house, you're going to become a doctor or a lawyer" Me: Mum there's a phone call for you from Nigeria Mum: Tell them I'm not at home. I'm not here, I'm not here o!! *After getting beats with a belt or slippers she says* "Why are you crying? Have I touched you yet?! If you don't stop crying now, I'll give you a reason to cry about" "I'll deal with you!” “You think I'm your mate?! “If I catch you ehn!" *Getting home late* "You better go back to wherever it is that you're coming from" "If you don't gerrout of my sight before I count to ten. 1, 2, 3..." 2 Likes |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 12:46pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
"Soooo you're giving me dirty looks ehn?!" (Remote right in front of her) *Calls you from downstairs* " E wo omo yi (you this girl), come here and get me the remote, I want to change the channel" *After screaming your name thrice* "How many times have I called you?" "Go and get my belt!!" "Ehn?.. And so what?!" "Close the lights, stop wasting electricity" *Sends you to find something, which you can't find* "If I find that purse ehn, this house will not contain me and you" Me: Mum where should I put your purse? Mum: on my head naw. "Are we h-age mates?" "Am I your mate?" Me: mum you know Will Smith right? Mum: what is that?! "I didn't kill my mother, so you will not kill me" *Looks at report* "You got a B... What about the people that got an A, do they have two heads?" *Child crying* Parent: Why are you crying? Did anyone beat you? Oya my fren HOLD YOUR MOUTH! "Eh heh... So you have boyfriend! Shey that's why you're talking back to me" *gets slippers* "I'm taking, you're talking, how many talkers?!" "Your head is not correct!" “If you don’t kneel down there, I’ll show you pepper” 3 Likes |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by jhydebaba(m): 1:02pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Instead of cursing the child as being unfortunate, Nigerian (esp Yorubas) parent will say : "What sort of a fortunate child is this" 2 Likes |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 1:08pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
lwkmd...abiL is officially crazy!!...lmao so on point..my mom does most of those things you listed up there even "am i your H-age mate?"...lmao *following with full vigour* 1 Like |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 1:11pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
When I was still learning how to cook.. Mum: You burnt the rice? Me: It was a mistake, I'm sorry. Mum: Will you tell that to your husband? Ehn, you this silly girl. Common rice, you can't cook. You'll tell me how you're even gonna get a husband. Common, clean up this mess.Do you even know how much a bag of rice costs now? See how you've wasted my rice...mschew!! |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 1:15pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
one day(i was still a kid) i was playing footie downstairs, my mom kept screaming "lala, lala, lala, nwa nkea, inaro anu ife(this child you don't hear words), come up fast" i thought she has broken her foot bone or something so i flew(i swear i ran like i was flying) upstairs only to meet a "HELP ME ZIP MY DRESS" (the zip was at the back of her dress) words from her i was like WTF!!...i stood there staring at her like i was about to explode like a bomb.i swear if 'twas a stranger, i'd have lynched her.lol if i start writting stuffs like this, NL won't contain it 1 Like |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 1:18pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
"Oya my fren, gerrout of my face!" "Shut up your dirty, stu]pid mouth" "You just wait till I tell your dad, nonsense child" "Girls half your age are already married, look at your life, common rice, you cannot cook" |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Bella3(f): 1:20pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
*following* 1 Like |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by firestar(f): 1:21pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Irony at its zenith... Come and carry me nah. Have you died before? Unless you're well out of earshot, your name better not be called thrice. Won ki n pe le meta... pe. |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 1:22pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Aunt: When I finish beating you, your mum will thank me. Aunt: Ehn ehn ehn! So you have grown up now, You can't kneel down anymore abi! Oya oya kneel down here and say good afternoon, do you see ur age mates here? *Wears an outfit that's above the knee without tights* Mum: That outfit *looks me up and down*... are you sure? You're not going out of my house wearing that. Na wa for these children o! |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 1:28pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Aunt: Sholly!! Sholly!! *I rush down* Aunt: Go bring my purse Sholly: hands over purse with left hand Aunt: Ehn!! Your left hand!! You are giving something with ur left hand, sooner or later you'll start slapping me. C'mon use your right hand!! I'm like WTF?! |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 1:30pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Mum: Are you hungry? Me: Yes mum Mum: Oya go and make food naw, am I your slave? Make your dad some food as well. Be useful for once in your life |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by jaybee3(m): 1:39pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
sh*t or stuff |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 1:46pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
*All dressed up and ready to go out* Aunt: Omo n soge ......Sha don't bring those Akatas home ooo. We will manage Edos, Calabars, Igbos,......, even Hausa, just make sure you don't bring one of those ur Akata friends to us as someone you want to marry . Daddy: Don't talk to her about marriage, she's young. Aunt: Youngy kini?? mtcheew......is it not Mrs. Lagbaja's daughter that just got married. Face your books but at the same time open ur eyes my daughter. Sholly: What about white ppl??!! Aunt: Ki lo'n jebe??(What is that?) Olorun maje!!(God forbid!) My child, u're a Yoruba girl. Don't bring any foreigner to this family! 1 Like |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 1:56pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
jay bee: sh*t or stuff stuff ofcourse but you know abiL love to use vulgar words to pass her message across.lol. I remember when i was still a kid, my dad came to school during our recess to pick me up so that we'll go home together.he couldn't wait for the school to close cos he was going somewhere important.on reaching my class, he saw me doing somersault.he was pissed cos he warned earlier on not to partake in stunts cos of the risks involved.so he walked over to where i was and gave me a deafening slap(first time he ever slapped me).lol.i was still crying when he held me by the ear and said "YOU NO DEY HEAR WORD NWA A(this child), WHAT IF I GIVE YOU ANOTHER ITOWAI(slap) FOR YOUR DISOBEDIENCE"...lmao @itowai...hahahahahaaha.my ribs o every person started laughing and i joined them too including my dad.lol.. I remember this stuffs with nostalgia.i wouldn't even think twice if i'm granted a wish to re-live my childhood memories for just a day. |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 2:00pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
aaawww....lala ur stories are fun to read, I want more! Btw, blame me for d title not abiL. There was a time I was always wearing big earrings and my Dad told me that the only people that wore big earrings are those looking for husband, can u imagine?? |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by jaybee3(m): 2:06pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Shollypopz: aaawww....lala ur stories are fun to read, I want more! Btw, blame me for d title not abiL. 1 Like |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 2:41pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
jay bee: sh*t or stuff Ogbeni, contribute something jor! |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 2:43pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Dad: Ehn, did you just talk back to your mother? just kneel down there, are you mad? you're mad. By the time I finish with you ehn, when we say run, you'll fly, when we say jump, you'll swim...id!ot. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 2:45pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
ItsModella: Dad: Ehn, did you just talk back to your mother? just kneel down there, are you mad? you're mad. By the time I finish with you ehn, when we say run, you'll fly, when we say jump, you'll swim...id!ot. Lmaoo at the bolded. Lalaosky I'm loving your posts. |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 2:46pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
If they born you well, switch that telly on! 1 Like |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by jaybee3(m): 3:24pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
abiL:Last born and only boy meant they lived by ma rules |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 3:27pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Lol, I want to meet ItsModella's father...that guy is funny!! ARE u mad?? you are mad!! ROFLMAO!! |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 3:33pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
jay bee: Negro please! |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 3:34pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
"To ba je pe e mi lo bi e (If I was the one who born you), step out of that door!" |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by 2legit2qwt: 3:38pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
you're just like your father **2legit** **2legit** **2legit** *screaming my name* of course not 2legit how many times did i call you This child don't kill yourself eh |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 3:39pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
2legit2qwt: you're just like your father Or This child don't kill me o!! Or This child, you will not be the end of me o!! *pulls me by my ear* |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 3:47pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Seems Nigerian mothers all have the same vocabulary. My mum's favourite phrase back in the day was : Ma luu e beeni wipe mi o mo eye to su e (I'll beat you like I don't know which bird shat you!) The woman na case 3 Likes |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by Nobody: 3:51pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
Ti mo ba deal pelu e tan gbogbo nkan lo ma ma wu e je. ( When I'm done with you, you'll crave everything edible). I dunno why anyone would wanna eat after having their ar/se seriously whooped |
Re: Sh*t Nigerian Parents Say... by abiL(f): 3:51pm On Jan 09, 2013 |
naijababe: Seems Nigerian mothers all have the same vocabulary. Hahahahaha that's intense. Thanks for the English translation. Took me some time to read the Yoruba lol. |
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