Hello,
I don't mean to be repetitive, and I know that there is a post on this board of someone who had a similar problem to mine. I guess for me, there are some variables, so I'm not sure if it would change anyone's opinion or not. I'd definitely like some feedback either way. Here's the details: I've known this girl for about a year and a half, and we have basically become best friends. It started hanging out every once in awhile, and lately we see each other 3-4 times a week, and we talk usually every day at some point, or I'll see her at work. Throughout the time I've known her, she has been involved with someone, but now they are going through some problems and she told me she is breaking up with him. In this time, I have become the person she tells everything to, and I mean everything. I'm the person she usually goes to for advice, whether it was with the relationship, or many other things going on in her life. She also has told me secrets that she doesn't want anyone else to know, and we always help each other out, we make a great team when it comes to just about anything. Here is where my dilemma comes in. I have fallen deeply in love with her. I don't know if she feels the same way, and I would say its about 50/50 chance that she feels the same way. The friendship means so much to me though. She has become a huge part of my life, and I think if I were to say something and lose her altogether, I would be devistated. I am happy with my friendship with her, and if I knew she wasn't at all interested in a relationship, I would be perfectly happy to keep the friendship that we have for life. I want her to be happy, whether its with me or not, and I honestly mean that because I just love her so much, more than words can even say. Part of me wants to take the risk and put myself out there. The other part of me is terrified because I don't want to lose the relationship we have now if she gets freaked out by my feelings for her.

I would appreciate any feedback. And a few more notes, I'm not concerned with the fact that I work with her, it's not a big deal to me. My biggest concern is should I tell her or not, and my biggest problem is if I go through with this and lose her as a friend, I would regret it for the rest of my life, Any ideas? Should I come clean with her or keep our relationship as-is? And if you think i should say something and have any ideas on ways to bring it up without freaking her out, or maybe something that I can say to find out if she has any interest without completely setting myself up for losing the friendship, pretty much any feedback would be much appreciated. I'm just a guy that is at a total loss for ideas. I really do love her, I would marry her if I was given the chance, and I would do ANYTHING for her (i know some guys say it, but i REALLY DO MEAN it, there is nothing i would not do for her). I love her so much though that even my time with her as friends is very important, and losing that scares me so much. I've been over-thinking this for a long time now, and I just need a fresh train of thought, because me thinking about it over and over hasn't gotten me anywhere. Thanks so much to anyone that offers a bit of advice, it really is appreciated

@Steve337
like i always say do unto others as u would like them to do unto u, now u say u love this girl but then u do not know if the feeling is reciprocated, now i want us to look at this from various angles
if u were in her guy's situation wat/how will u feel.(BETRAYED)?
Now how sure are u that whatever problem she is having with her guy now is not because of u let me explain i have come to realize that wen a babe has the kind of relationship she has with u now (platonic) she ends up doing comparisons btw urself and her guy forgetting that certain things change as soon as platonic friends start dating in the process she becomes insatiable with d guy and starts wondering how it would be like with u.
My advice is for u to step back a little cut the number of times u see her in a week but don't altogether lose sight of her, maybe she might work out things with the guy but if she does not make ur shoulders available to her.

You feel so much love for her, but you don't want to lose her
My guy, I hate dying in silence.
You must be pinning away in silence.
What is life without some measure of risk

Right now, you don't have anything 'cause not even the friendship is enough
So quit thinking that at least yo have her friendship.

I would endure for a while if I were you.
But will definitely approach the subject one way or another.
I won't suggest any more method than for you to sit her down and tell her how you feel.

If she does not feel the same with you, she has lost a best friend.
But you would have been relieved; the burden in your heart lifted off
My friend, either get her or get a life!

@poster
from experience ive realised that whoever consoles someone out of a broken relationship is always used as a stepping stone for emotional stability.when her eyes are clear,I dont think she will still stick to you.and by then you might hav made her indispensable by virtue of your fantasies.If possible,I suggest you give her sometime for her eyes to clear and by then she can decide sensibly whether she wants you or not.

But if you really want her to be happy,why dont you settle the problem b\w her and her guy.guy dont deceive us.YOU NEED HER DESPERATELY.but please give her sometime or youll have yourself to blame.

Say one word to her & u will not only loose her, u will loose the friendship altogether.

I can trust she'll be so disappointed in u. She's driving u crazy ko . . .she's driving u bonkaz ni

My advice-Never say anything to her.Try to play the big brother role.She has shared a substantial part of her life to you(secrets) ,and as I am about to say this .dont take it as a shocker.WORK FOR THE INTEREST OF THE OTHER GUY.I mean it.Though it may sound stupid.I could have said that you shouldnt be biased when it comes to situation about her guy.
About the love issue,let her take the first initiative.I always prefer them taking the first initiative.,cos it works.Tell her how u feel and u will not only loose her but you will loose her trust
Kind Regards

Get her talking on a good day when she is in nice mood and playfully raise the issue by asking her how it would feel like if u are the man in her life considering the great friendship u both has. Let her understand dat great homes are made by couples who were at first good friends and then spouse and watch wat her reactions is like,so u can take it from there.

Good Luck

chychy:

At least, he tried, he took a chance instead of "dying in silence and living a life of "what if".?

That's my 50 cents.

Now, I hate girls that make statements as this
pls dont let me hate you

This is really hard-sell sha.

I think you should drop some suttle hints as try to read her reaction. If she gives you the signal like she aint into you LIKE DAT . . . . .Then drop it and 4ever hold your peace ok.

chychy:

u do not need 2 hate me.
truth hurts don't u think?

life is a game of chance truthfully. i've taken some mysef.
afterall, i've loved a guy who cannot love me in return.
but @ least he knows.

That's my girl!
One needs to take risks in life. No point dying in silence.
If you lose the friendship (or better put, if the girl feels that you have breached the friendship because you felt some genuine feelings 4her ) so be it.
Is she the best thing that have happened to mankind?

@poster
I see that you're just being soft and jelly up here.
If you're not ready to take some risks in life and damn it! Then so be it!
Life is not for the faint hearted. _{(The dilemma you're living with now is half-life )}

@opokobaby
your blood dey hot oh!

chychy:

u do not need 2 hate me.
truth hurts don't u think?

life is a game of chance truthfully. i've taken some mysef.
afterall, i've loved a guy who cannot love me in return.
but @ least he knows.

Let me re phrase- I hate that statement.I don't hate you.ok?Statements of that nature makes me wonder why girls can't just stop using toasters as a point of reference.How would the guy feel ,if he sees that post of yours.You are broadcating to the world that he toasted you and u said no
If you were(note i didnt use "are" really friends with him,then such things shouldnt be mentioned because of the respect you hav for him.After all we have had our own share of rejections u rightly said.But it shouldnt just be fair to start recounting them.It sounds kind of proud, the I have all it takes kind of thing,the you are ot my type kind of thing

Honestly. I think u shudnt tel her. Just keep ur frndship going, if she really feels d same way, she myt get bored by u not saying nethng and decide 2 bring it up 1st. I bliv in taking d risk, but ur frndship seems 2 deep 2 risk nethng at d momnt. If u decide 2 bring it up den I say let it come as a joke. But jst let d frndshp go on, u nevr knw wat myt happn. Gud luck with ur decision