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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? (23906 Views)
Man Batters Wife, Throws Her Out For Rejecting Custody Of Love Child (Pictured) / Pls advice, should he fight back? How? / Unclad Man Roaming The Streets Of Abuja With His Kids All Dressed Up (Photo) (2) (3) (4)
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Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Woged2005(f): 9:10pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
My female cousin who is a nurse in the USA with two daughters cooked up lies and filed for a restraining order against her husband. She filed for and got full physical/ legal custody of the kids as well as a monthly child support payment of $1000 from her husband for the two kids mostly because her husband refused to fight for the case. But this has backfired, as her husband has refused to visit, see or even call the kids for the past 7 months. Rather he simply mails the child support. My cousin continues to lie to everyone that her husband was abusive in the marriage to justify her actions. Lies! lies!! lies!! I knew this couple from day one. In fact, she was the abuser, she patronizes fake Nigerian pastors who saw fake visions/ prophesies for her, she gossips a lot, insults her husband before us, and can’t move along with anyone. In addition, she was secretly going out with a male nurse at her workplace of which I confronted her before and she said he’s just a friend. Now we know he’s more than a friend to her because they made love. I asked her husband last week why he doesn’t make any effort to see his kids. He said his wife was the one that lied and filed for full custody of the kids, that she coached the kids to lie in court in order to get child support, that she was using the kids to draw her into a costly custody battle, which he won’t succumb to. Therefore, she should keep the kids. I begged and he hung up. I wept! I visited the kids last week; they sat on chairs like orphans depressed. They miss their dad! Even my cousin has started suffering, as she’s now saddled with raising two girls by herself because of $1000 a month child support. Yet pride won't let her stop. Did I mention that she retained a white lawyer whose interest is getting paid per hour and keeps firing up the case? No amount of preaching has changed this man’s heart to call or even start visiting his kids. We don’t know if and when he will. Everyone is just shocked! Very sad! Fellow Nairalanders is this man right in what he is doing just to avoid a confrontation or custody battle, or should he retain a lawyer too to fight for shared custody of the kids? The kids are in the middle. My interest? I am a God-mother to one of the girls…weeping!! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 9:15pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
Woged2005: My female cousin who is a nurse in the USA with two daughters cooked up lies and filed for a restraining order against her husband. She filed for and got full physical/ legal custody of the kids as well as a monthly child support payment of $1000 from her husband for the two kids mostly because her husband refused to fight for the case. But this has backfired, as her husband has refused to visit, see or even call the kids for the past 7 months. Rather he simply mails the child support. My cousin continues to lie to everyone that her husband was abusive in the marriage to justify her actions. Lies! lies!! lies!! I knew this couple from day one. In fact, she was the abuser, she patronizes fake Nigerian pastors who saw fake visions/ prophesies for her, she gossips a lot, insults her husband before us, and can’t move along with anyone. In addition, she was secretly going out with a male nurse at her workplace of which I confronted her before and she said he’s just a friend. Now we know he’s more than a friend to her because they made love. Always the Nurses. Nurses come and defend yourselves! You seem like you have a lot at stake in this. Maybe the man's heart who knows. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 9:26pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 9:28pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: hahahha, abi! Nurses here and there. Nurses breaking hearts all over the USA ![]() |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by seedord247(m): 9:31pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
I repeat... Never marry a naija woman in usa or uk.... They are worse than Akata's. ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 9:35pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
seedord247: I repeat... Never marry a naija woman in usa or uk.... They are worse than Akata's. Most Nurses are naija imports. What says you about this? ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 9:39pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: nursing is one of the most promiscuous profession in the world. besides, majority of those nurses in the states were imported from the nigerian villages. there's no real evidence there is love in the marriage. in most cases, it's the union of a desperate woman in nigeria looking for means to get a ticket to yankee and a lazy man who needs a workaholic wife that would be the primary source of income. the murder rate of the nigerian nurses in america is mind-boggling. 8 Likes |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 9:47pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() My thoughts exactly. loool. A case of cunny man die, cunny man bury am. 2 Likes |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Woged2005(f): 9:49pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: ..No ma, I will never do a thing like that. We were all close before the devil took over. The kids call me Auntie. The tone of my write up was mere frustration with the situation. Can you imagine a 10 and 7yr old daddy's girls now lacking daddy's love bc of two proud adults? thanks to coming to America!! 2 Likes |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 9:53pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
Woged2005: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Well they are adults. Am sure somehow they would sort themselves out. Your cousin has decided to choose love over convenience now that she has made it. It is not easy to live with someone you have no feelings for, or live with someone out of pity. Besides you are not in their home 24/7. If he really did care and was capable of taking care of the kids, he would have fought it. And most importantly fought to keep his name, which she tarnished. |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 9:53pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
Woged2005: needing daddy's love? in this day and age where men have been reduced to semën donors? what happened to the term "independent women"? you are making a grave mistake here - the kids should be happy. tell their mum to increase the allowance she spends on them. more toys, more trips to disneyland and the new x-box console. ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by ifyalways(f): 10:04pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
All that stress for just 158,000NGN per month? Na "auxiliary nurse(nurse Eliza)" your sister be?I mean the money(which was one of the motivating factors according to your story) is not even "fascinating". I think you or someone else in your family needs to talk some sense into your sister. They might not have a future together again but she owes the man an apology then go for peaceful,out of court settlement. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Nobody: 10:10pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: Lmao@ bolded. So mean! |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 10:19pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
ifyalways: All that stress for just 158,000NGN per month? Na "auxiliary nurse(nurse Eliza)" your sister be?I mean the money(which was one of the motivating factors according to your story) is not even "fascinating". It is based on his income. And besides in some states that is cool money. When he earns more, the amount can be reviewed and increased. For some women its not the money, but the fact that his wages will be garnished and he will feel it every month. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Woged2005(f): 10:21pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
ifyalways: All that stress for just 158,000NGN per month? Na "auxiliary nurse(nurse Eliza)" your sister be?. I heard US child support is calculated by a software and depends on how much the couple makes. it's a percentage of that..if u earn less u pay less, if you earn more you pay more. It's not alimony (payment made to a partner for upkeep if his/her career is adversely affected by a marriage).. |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Nobody: 10:24pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
@ OP, I'm not clear on what your cousins problem is. Because if she committed all these atrocities and did everything in her power to get full custody of the kids, why is she sad now? Is she wanting more money or wanting a babysitter (father) to relieve her of the burden of caring for the kids? Anyway I imagine it would be very difficult for her to seek to share custody through the courts without getting in trouble for perjury. I don't know what to tell you abeg. |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 10:29pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: ![]() |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 10:31pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: Dude, dont test me. I will make you work for me. As in all your salary. ![]() ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 10:35pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: work for you? hmmmmm, that's delicious. such an appetising offer.....can i ponder over this for a moment? baby_123: i know child support is different from prenup - i am just singing for the husband of the op's cousin! |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 10:38pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: Sure. Polyandry is not so bad after all. Income from every where. ![]() |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 10:41pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: i like polyandrists......but i must warn you, i have a huge appetite! i wouldn't want a situation where the other men are moaning they are not getting enough "action". |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 10:41pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: Its obvious the husband earns more. So he is likely to pay child support and alimony. If she did and he had custody, well well... ![]() |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 10:42pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: Na wah! ![]() |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 10:44pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
ileobatojo: @ OP, I'm not clear on what your cousins problem is. Because if she committed all these atrocities and did everything in her power to get full custody of the kids, why is she sad now? Is she wanting more money or wanting a babysitter (father) to relieve her of the burden of caring for the kids? Anyway I imagine it would be very difficult for her to seek to share custody through the courts without getting in trouble for perjury. most women don't know what they want - she's probably missing sex! 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 10:48pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
ileobatojo: @ OP, I'm not clear on what your cousins problem is. Because if she committed all these atrocities and did everything in her power to get full custody of the kids, why is she sad now? Is she wanting more money or wanting a babysitter (father) to relieve her of the burden of caring for the kids? Anyway I imagine it would be very difficult for her to seek to share custody through the courts without getting in trouble for perjury. coogar: I dont think the woman is complaining. She is even following up the case. The woman's cousin is the one affected by this. |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 10:52pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: who's she going to complain to? she's sad.....the kids are sad and the family is torn apart! deep down, she must know she's emotionally damaging her own daughters because of a monthly stipend of $1000. some women need lobotomy! 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 10:53pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: I really dont think she is sad from what the OP wrote. The kids seem to be the only ones that care or feel anything in this whole saga. The woman is out for blood, and the man doesnt give two... |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by Woged2005(f): 10:53pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: No. It's whoever gets custody of the kids gets paid. You can't pay a non-custodial parent. It's money to feed kids. Shared custody usually means that neither parents gets paid because they keep the kids 50/50. Many women who love money fight hard to keep full custody so that they get paid. Also US courts will hardly award kids at that age to a man because they believe they will need their mom. A woman has to be terribly very bad (like criminal records, drug addiction) to lose custody of under-aged kids in US. the bad news is that some men who pay child support simply abandon the kids to the woman and enjoy themselves around. 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by slimyem: 10:54pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
Op,what party complained to you? The mother or the father? What do you intend to do with the advice you get here? Approach the man and get him to fight for custody of his kids? Isn't that like some kind of conflict of interest since the woman's your cousin? Its an unfortunate situation that isn't healthy for the kids and its okay that you are concerned but i really don't think its appropriate for you to get in the middle of it. 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 10:57pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
Woged2005: I know that it is whoever gets custody that gets child support. But they can share custody and a spouse will still get money if they earn less. Now, men are fighting more for their rights and men are increasingly getting custody of their kids. The argument that it is only women that can take care of their kids is fast fading with the equality movement, that men are taking advantage of. However, this is for the both of them to take care of. No matter how much we discuss this, it wont change a thing. The man could have fought, but he chose not to. For whatever reason unknown to you and thereby all of us reading the thread. 1 Like |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by coogar: 11:01pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
baby_123: but if the kids aren't happy then it would affect their mother directly or indirectly. seriously, some women are not supposed to be mothers - anyone who puts herself before the happiness of her children should be tied to a stake and flogged at the market square. 2 Likes |
Re: Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? by baby124: 11:04pm On Jan 11, 2013 |
coogar: Well some people are very selfish. But then again, as the parent sometimes, you have to make certain painful decisions which may not be great for the kids right now, but in their best interest in the future. The OP really doesnt know why her cousin is going all out this way. Except she has known issues, i am sure she has a valid reason for not wanting the man in their lives. So much goes on behind closed doors that i have learnt not to be emotional or judge on such issues. 1 Like |
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