pDude: Yes.

It would keep a lot of fornicators and adulterers in check

jp philips:

the truth is that most Nigerian women have little or nothing to bargain with in marriage, the Nigerian man does virtually everything, at that verge, he can do as he likes, until the Nigerian women add value to their lives, come to the reality that Toto is just a piece of meat and cant stand as a bargaining chip.
such a time will the man project equity, as it stands, the union between a man and a woman in nigeria is just an additional load to the man, with the woman sitting on the fence and germinating children.

I speak for 85% of the time not necessarily a sacrosanct phenomenon, haba! naija men dey suffer.

Sagamite:

Really?

You are of the view that men don't have emotional and psychological balance without a wife?

A-40:

Not for divorce settlement although I do understand its applicable in some situations
But for a ninja to spew crap like guys can't buy property without emotional and psychological support from their wives! What kind of megedefegede is that?

jp philips:

the truth is that most Nigerian women have little or nothing to bargain with in marriage, the Nigerian man does virtually everything, at that verge, he can do as he likes, until the Nigerian women add value to their lives, come to the reality that Toto is just a piece of meat and cant stand as a bargaining chip.
such a time will the man project equity, as it stands, the union between a man and a woman in nigeria is just an additional load to the man, with the woman sitting on the fence and germinating children.

I speak for 85% of the time not necessarily a sacrosanct phenomenon, haba! naija men dey suffer.

biolabee: also i feel FX is perfectly entitled to his opinion

He is right some pple never got focussed until they became family men

Bolt2011: NO to divorce settlement but
YESSSS to child-support.

A-40:

And this is Naij where you have men that take care of the wives extended families as well even at the expense of his own kinfolk!!

biolabee:

I never said some anytin abt balance o
I said focus

Some men start planning for the future more seriously when they become family men
It may be the wife, the kids or just reduced testesterone

@Sagamite true i agree it shd be based on a reasonable contribtion

dayokanu:

Actually i can say its purely coincidental .

A guy finish school starts working at say 24yrs he is earning peanuts that cant even buy him jeans, Later they promote him to middle management and he gets married promotes to senior management and he buys the house in Lekki, Abuja, etc buys plenty cars

Is it the marriage that made him rich and buy houses or just that he has paid his dues at his place of work and its time to reap the fruit of 17yrs of education plus 15yrs plus of professional work?

Where i used to work in Nigeria many of our partners got married when they were already very comfortable I dont know which woman made them reach there

maybe their mother, and sisters sha

Those married men who live in face me I face you Were their wives not giving them focus, emotional support and psychology?

jp philips:

God bless you, you carry your own wahala, carry her, carry kids, carry her parents, carry her siblings, later she go get mouth say make them share, share what??

settle what?? the day any law maker will raise such a motion in any house whether upper or lower that day he will no longer come to the chambers with his head on his neck,

@OP
do American husbands fend for their wives siblings through tuition, accommodation, medical expenses and upkeep? you wont address that but you want to address divorce settlement, thunder fire your arm pit.

dayokanu:

Actually i can say its purely coincidental .

A guy finish school starts working at say 24yrs he is earning peanuts that cant even buy him jeans, Later they promote him to middle management and he gets married promotes to senior management and he buys the house in Lekki, Abuja, etc buys plenty cars

Is it the marriage that made him rich and buy houses or just that he has paid his dues at his place of work and its time to reap the fruit of 17yrs of education plus 15yrs plus of professional work?

Where i used to work in Nigeria many of our partners got married when they were already very comfortable I dont know which woman made them reach there

maybe their mother, and sisters sha

Those married men who live in face me I face you Were their wives not giving them focus, emotional support and psychology?

Sagamite:

It is not even disputable, that crap argument about "her contribution"?

She go university for am? She did his professional exams for am?

She can only claim contribution if she can prove if she was taking out of the equation he would not achieve what he achieved if he was with majority of other women instead of her. It is as senseless as some Settlements officer in Goldman Sachs saying his contribution is what is making GS profitable when what you do is easily replaceable. If a trader that leads a team that makes one tenth of the profit talks about contribution, then we can hear about contribution.

Some shythead dental nurse would come and say she contributed to contributed to a footballer playing football. What contribution?

dayokanu:

To test this Lets pick another man who didnt go beyond JS3, didnt write any professional exam didnt get a job at Accenture or Goldman Sachs and let this woman use her emotional Balance and psychological support to make him Minister of Finance like Segun Aganga

jp philips: [/b]Bros i tire oo, for every successful man there is a woman, forgetting that barrow pusher is also married.

i think we share the same view on this, most Nigerian women's cosmetics bag alone can pay the house rent, the wardrobe can buy a plot of land, yet they want to share yours, only society this and that, vacation, useless stuffs, yet when the marriage ends they want take away pack, like say na their papa be Charles darwin.

I dont want to talk about the man hours wasted in salons, annual retreat, church functions etc stup!!d annoying donations.
man go dey house im wife go come tell am say she make donation for church on behalf of the family, imagine the nons@nse, then you begin to imagine the accolades where she open mouth "on behalf of me and my family, i donate the sum of...."" meanwhile guy man dey offshore dey turn valve.

until our women add value to their lives, they don't deserve one naira of Divorce settlement, child support is acceptable

dayokanu:

To test this Lets pick another man who didnt go beyond JS3, didnt write any professional exam didnt get a job at Accenture or Goldman Sachs and let this woman use her emotional Balance and psychological support to make him Minister of Finance like Segun Aganga

FXKing2012: All these dudes saying they dont support divorce settlement are only being selfish and wicked.

So many men insist on their wives being full housewives; so many men dont allow their wives to study further after marriage; women are forced to put their careers and studies on hold due to pregnancy or marriage; so many women help their husbands achieve emotional stability which helps the men perform well in the office, but when they separate/divorce the guy keeps everything while the woman leaves with nothing plus the responsibility of taking care of the kids. Now ask yourselves, is that fair?

SpicyMimi:
@op God bless you!

baby_123:

The woman who was spending her money on clothes and jewelry? Well i didnt grow up in such an environment. And even then, it must have been an agreement between husband and wife. I am sure a wife contributes to her family purse in more ways than one. So this example really doesnt follow or work in real life settings. If the man asks her to keep her money, she should now pay for his decision in the end.

baby_123:

Dayo, do i smell a new POV? . I think sharing should be based on what was acquired during the length of the marriage. Child support should be for Children out of wedlock. But in the case of a divorce, yes, i support a settlement. Whatever was acquired during the union especially if kids are involved should be shared equally.

baby_123:

That is not true. My mum owns capital projects she built. It is people like you that will come and fight a widow thinking she contributed nothing, because she is a woman. Only to be disgraced with documents. Because women dont shout so men would not be mocked, doesnt mean they are incapable of owning their own things.

Tomeseen: Lastly, financially my money is 100% mine while his money is our money Lol. I can contribute but my husband don't expect it and there isn't any slack. Way i figure, why contribute when there is no need for it. Nuff said Each to his own, abegi

FXKing2012: The eeeeeediot Sagamite and the male chauvinist dayokanu actually think they are making much of a sense...shows what a sick world we live in.

I once knew a man who could not concentrate at work due to trouble at home with his wife. It got so bad that his performance and productivity dropped drastically that his boss had to querry him. With no improvement he eventually got fired.

There was a pilot who was doing so well in his career and steadily climbing the ladder of success but this came to an abrupt halt when the relationship with his wife went south. He started drinking, and being a taboo in the airline industry, he got caught and got sacked.

There was this bus driver who was having serious issues with his wife at home, this drove him into smoking and massive alcohol consumption. One day while driving, he lost control of the vehicle killing himself and many others. Autopsy report showed he had too much alcohol in his system.

I could go on and on. None of these men ended up buying land and building houses simply because they lacked emotional and psychological support from their wives.

Now who says emotional and psychological support given by wives mean nothing?

It wont surprise me to learn that many of the men in here saying women contribute nothing and thus should leave with nothing are the same ones who treat their wives like objects at home. You think taking such a stance makes you a better man?

jp philips:

if you mother owned any block, she must have inherited it from her father or your dad had something else going for him, the man may own a company and due to ill health/higher education leave it for the wife to be managing, when you buy an asset, will you say you own it? is it not the man's company asset?
i can swear on my left testis that you are not married, a lot of married men in Nigeria will be laughing seriously at your ignorance.
Mind you that mama feeding papa is not the Norm in average Nigeria homes, that is the perception that is deceiving you, i know families where the women are the bread winner but they are a mere 15%, the other 5% may have been in a polygamous setting where the wives or wife use sorcery to emasculate the man.

if you wanna give examples, talk about the majority, if your Mum was feeding your dad, it is not the norm, also if your mum was acquiring assets while your dad was playing ludo, it is not the norm. in our present day marriages, if the your mum was acquiring assets while your popsy was playing ludo, you wont even exist because our present women will not give him the privilege of sexx.

dayokanu:

I copied this post from another thread.

So when baby123 was telling me about Naija women who contribute to developmental project I can only laugh

Someone whose money is her own 100% would now come at a later date and say they want to share something the guy built from his own savings

baby_123:

Well, you better bet all of your reporductive system. My mum worked and owns everything in her portfolio. I have argued my point clearly and it would be like arguing all over again. Besides, I have nothing to prove to you. Maybe your mum is the type to wait on handouts. My own great grand parents were educated and so have all the women down from them. Women in my family have always held their own. Never generalise or hold people to your own expectations or standards. You really failed with that point of view. With that, I leave you alone to your limited thoughts and opinions. But never try to trade ignorance for truth. Its very ridiculous.

dayokanu:

I know you cant think for yourself. But at least seek help and find people who can think for you.

They have posited that the average Nigerian IQ is 60 but with people like you pulling it further down how can we progress?

I ask Is it only married people who buy houses, Who provide emotional support for the unmarried people who build houses?

When you want to buy a house, Is it the emotional support the realtor would ask for to hand over the title deeds of the land over?

The women that are the custodian of this emotional support why cant they use it for their own benefit and buy houses?

They use their own money to buy lace and shoes yet want to share from the house the man sweated, starved himself to buy

God punish thieves and their accomplices

FXKing2012:
I'm really not sure whether you are just intentionally twisting the point being made or your tiny brain is simply incapable of grasping the point.

I never said single guys dont buy land and build houses, the argument is about married folks.
I'm sure you are not married thus the difficulty in understanding it but I'll help your ignorance.

When you are married you cease to be your usual self; it is no longer all about you because u think and discuss with your partner before making any big decision. Your partner advises and encourages you and this is huge if you are able to quantify it in monetary terms.

Have you ever wondered why many men look bigger and better almost immediately after marriage? Trust me it has something to do with the wives. Many men experience promotion in their lives after marriage due to the spiritual, emotional and psychological support from the wives.

I'm not saying single guys dont achieve, I'm saying when you are married it's a different ball game as your wife becomes a major factor whether you rise or fall.

In the African tradition, it is a taboo for a woman to own land or build a house. So the wife, in many cases, give her money to the husband to buy land and build on it in order not to be seen as proud or unsubmissive.
I know many men living in rented apartments who say they could never live in a house built by their wives. So our culture and tradition dont really support women engaging in such investments. Things are changing though due to westernization.

PS: During the days of our parents, the girl child is made to stay at home while the male child is sent to school to learn. This definitely affected many of our mothers as far as investing is concerned. So be careful how you blame them.

baby_123:

Dayo, what exactly are you saying? Just say from your own experience and the women around you. Are couples going to come out and confess to you that they jointly own properties? What is so difficult to comprehend in that? Because you have surrounded yourself with a little crowd, you are now in over-drive on your true thoughts. Honestly this thread has gone to sh*it. The fact remains these laws will be paSsed, only a matter of time. No matter how you want to kick and scream, you will still pay. Abegi! *with this I exit this thread*

FXKing2012:
I'm really not sure whether you are just intentionally twisting the point being made or your tiny brain is simply incapable of grasping the point.

I never said single guys dont buy land and build houses, the argument is about married folks.
I'm sure you are not married thus the difficulty in understanding it but I'll help your ignorance.

When you are married you cease to be your usual self; it is no longer all about you because u think and discuss with your partner before making any big decision. Your partner advises and encourages you and this is huge if you are able to quantify it in monetary terms.

Have you ever wondered why many men look bigger and better almost immediately after marriage? Trust me it has something to do with the wives. Many men experience promotion in their lives after marriage due to the spiritual, emotional and psychological support from the wives.

I'm not saying single guys dont achieve, I'm saying when you are married it's a different ball game as your wife becomes a major factor whether you rise or fall.

In the African tradition, it is a taboo for a woman to own land or build a house. So the wife, in many cases, give her money to the husband to buy land and build on it in order not to be seen as proud or unsubmissive.
I know many men living in rented apartments who say they could never live in a house built by their wives. So our culture and tradition dont really support women engaging in such investments. Things are changing though due to westernization.

PS: During the days of our parents, the girl child is made to stay at home while the male child is sent to school to learn. This definitely affected many of our mothers as far as investing is concerned. So be careful how you blame them.

dayokanu:
-My friend went to UNILAG got a first class, Went to Imperial college for Masters got a distinction, worked in a consulting firm, and an Investment Bank after few years wrote GMAT scored 730 got into the best Business School in the world - Wharton. He wrote CFA and passed, He now works with a Hedge fund and he is not married yet

If in 10yrs time he becomes Minister of Finance and makes a fortune now some 2 left legged woman would waka and say she was the one who made him? HOW? Was she there with him in Primary, Secondary School, UNILAG, Imperial College, Wharton, CFA classes and those qualifications that made him a hot property.