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Facts About Jack Bauer by LarrySun(m): 10:54am On Jan 13, 2013 |
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact. Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk. Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. Let's get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're history. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed. In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once. As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!" Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it. If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice. Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people. Losing a colleague or loved one for Jack Bauer is comparable to the feeling of missing the elevator for most people. No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a wimp" in a sentence and lived to tell Every time Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies. When terrorists go to hell, if they say Jack Bauer sent them, they get a group discount. seldomwrong..com/2006/01/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer.html Rank Fact # of Votes Rating 1 Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned. 259 8.21 2 The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. 864 7.67 3 There are two hands that can beat a royal flush. Jack Bauer's right hand and Jack Bauer's left hand. 151 7.54 4 Jack Bauer was once charged with attempted murder in Los Angeles County, but the judge dropped all charges because Jack Bauer never "attempts" murder. 79 7.51 5 If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1". 110 7.48 6 If you are still verbally capable of telling Jack Bauer that he is hurting you, then trust me, he isn't. 59 7.47 7 It takes you 24 weeks just to watch what Jack Bauer does in a single day. 101 7.47 8 Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes. 178 7.45 9 Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon. 234 7.35 10 Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. 270 7.3 11 When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death. 322 7.26 12 Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt. 222 7.23 13 When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer. 254 7.15 14 Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was. 582 7.11 15 Jack Bauer once showed up late for work. CTU adjusted their clocks accordingly. 87 7.1 16 If Jack Bauer gives you his word that you'll get your deal, then he really means it. Unless you killed David Palmer. Then you're bleeped. 90 7.09 17 On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. 218 7.09 18 Jack Bauer always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from Jack Bauer. 160 7.08 19 On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents. 185 7.06 20 There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them. 203 7.05 21 The only prerequisite to becoming a CTU security guard is being able to accept being rendered unconscious by Jack Bauer. 92 7.02 22 When Jack Bauer was told smiling increases your face value, he said not speaking increases your life span. 79 7.01 23 Jack Bauer doesn't laugh in the face of danger; Jack Bauer is the face of danger. 144 6.99 24 If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". 1430 6.98 25 Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live. 222 6.98 26 If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. 4023 6.97 27 Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them." 611 6.97 28 Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off. 164 6.96 29 At Jack Bauer's funeral, there will be a eulogy, twenty-gun salute, and a squadron of F-14s flying over the procession. All of which will be performed by Jack Bauer. 85 6.94 30 When someone asked Jack Bauer if he was afraid of James Bond, he replied "What does 'afraid' mean?" 96 6.94 31 If Jack Bauer was president, he would protect the secret service. 155 6.92 32 Torturing terrorists is like riding a bike. Jack Bauer never forgets. 137 6.89 33 Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he's sitting in a wheel chair. 133 6.88 34 Jack Bauer once acted as judge, jury, and executioner; but to save time he now just acts as executioner. 95 6.87 35 If a suspect mentions your name, while being interrogated by Jack Bauer, you have a 3.26% chance of surviving the next 3 hours. 105 6.87 36 The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition. 313 6.85 37 When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload. 300 6.85 38 There is a deeper reason that Kim will not forgive Jack. For years during her birthday and Christmas when Kim would look for presents Jack would just laugh to himself before finally telling her, "I give you my word." 450 6.84 39 Jack Bauer broke into the Russian Consulate and got captured because he thought it would be fun to compare Russian prisons with Chinese prisons. 113 6.84 40 Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer. 2134 6.84 41 Jack Bauer doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time. 203 6.83 42 Jack Bauer's sperm come in 9mm, .40, and 12 gauge slug. 87 6.79 43 Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. 3933 6.79 44 There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television. 912 6.79 45 Jack once shot himeself 10 times, just to prove 50 cent is a bitch. He proceeded to wrestle and aligator while talking to Chloe about schematics. 317 6.79 46 Jack Bauer doesn't have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It's basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack Bauer's PC. Ever. 349 6.79 47 Jack Bauer is the only human in the world with the ability to make Chloe O'Brien drop the personality disorder and patch him through. 399 6.78 48 Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic. 317 6.78 49 Only Jack Bauer can singlehandedly start World War III between the Russians, Chinese and United States... over Audrey Raines. 71 6.77 50 Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. 860 6.77 51 Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. 3653 6.77 52 Gredanko cut off his own arm rather than face Jack Bauer again. The fact speaks for itself. 91 6.76 53 Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist. He keeps it in a jar on his desk. 260 6.75 54 There's one only shift when Jack Bauer works for CTU: the graveyard shift. 137 6.74 55 You can tell how much Jack Bauer likes you by how far above your kneecap he shoots you. 90 6.74 56 The Berlin Wall fell because Jack Bauer needed to get to the other side. 256 6.74 57 Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Jack Bauer can kill 100% of whatever the Bleep he wants. 80 6.74 58 Jack Bauer can pronounce the name "Ahmed" however he fucking wants. 132 6.73 59 Backup calls for Jack Bauer. 99 6.73 60 When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back. 1777 6.73 61 ...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here." 250 6.72 62 If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef. 1785 6.72 63 Jack Bauer was nominated for an Emmy for playing Kiefer Sutherland. 121 6.72 64 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. 3684 6.72 65 Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. 3171 6.7 66 James Bond has a license to kill. Jack Bauer was his instructor. 145 6.69 67 Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. 941 6.69 68 When Jack learned that Audrey was killed in a car accident in China, one billion asians crapped their pants. 95 6.68 69 Jack Bauer once went to the running of the bulls and chased the bulls. 65 6.68 70 When Jack Bauer says, "I don't know if I can do this anymore", the statement must be loosely translated as, "I can still rip off your head, I just don't know if I feel like I can shit down your neck at this time." 148 6.68 71 When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade. 3893 6.67 72 If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. 3690 6.67 73 When Santa Claus asked Jack Bauer what he wanted for Christmas, he snapped his neck. No one interrogates Jack Bauer and gets away with it. 185 6.65 74 Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry. 420 6.65 75 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Jack Bauer would meanwhile do something important. 215 6.65 76 Jack Bauer let himself be drugged, beaten and captured inside a crate on a Chinese ship heading out of the USA with no way for help to find him. Now he has them right where we wants them. 367 6.65 77 Alex Trebek once asked Jack Bauer the question, "What's your idea of a perfect game show?" He replied with, "I'm the contestant and I ask the questions around here." Jeopardy was born at that moment. 83 6.64 78 If Jack Bauer needs backup, he looks in a mirror. 85 6.64 79 Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. 3003 6.64 80 Jack Bauer can torture you into giving up information you do not possess. 128 6.63 81 Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants. 302 6.63 82 My husband doesn't wish he was Jack Bauer. He wishes I was Jack Bauer. 357 6.63 83 If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it. 477 6.63 84 The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer. 597 6.62 85 Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. 3282 6.62 86 After Season 6 of 24, the Chinese will be on the Endangered Species List. 255 6.62 87 Chained to a chair, tortured, and with the threat of death hanging over him, Jack just wanted something to eat. 170 6.61 88 Mission Impossible is just another way of saying Mission Without Jack Bauer. 108 6.61 89 It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed. 1144 6.61 90 On Jack's day off, he and Edgar would shoot hoops and get ice cream together. Later, they'd prank call Chloe, only to have her trace the call, call them back and tell them to "grow up". Good times... good times. 578 6.6 91 Jack Bauer thinks the word mercy just means "quick interrogation." 210 6.6 92 Jack Bauer arrested RoboCop. Think about that. 215 6.59 93 Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment. 410 6.57 94 Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first. 1042 6.57 95 At last years Christmas party, Jack Bauer brought the punch. Nobody survived. 127 6.57 96 Jack Bauer signs his autograph with bullets. So don't ask him to sign any part of your body. 140 6.56 97 When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out. 316 6.56 98 Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours." 906 6.55 99 Bauer is not word, it is a sentence...A death sentence. 163 6.55 100 The only reason Jack gave Nina mouth to mouth in Season 2 was because he had to kill her himself. notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty If you've watched 24 you'd know Jack Bauer, and if you know Jack Bauer you'd smile at these and want to add yours. #TEAMJACKBAUER# 8 Likes |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Meklex(m): 2:54pm On Jan 14, 2013 |
the reason why you are still conscious is because I don't feel like carrying you. s5 |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by semid4lyfe(m): 6:40am On Jan 16, 2013 |
LWKMDFH ![]() ![]() Reminds me of the Chuck Norris parody |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Redmosquito(m): 7:23am On Jan 16, 2013 |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() CHuck norris: First man to shut a revolving door with one push! |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Nobody: 4:33am On Jan 18, 2013 |
Loved them. |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Owen2(m): 5:49pm On Jan 18, 2013 |
Very funny but Chuck Norris already occupies that space. |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Jidefido(m): 5:56am On Jan 20, 2013 |
The fear of Jack Bauer is the beginning of wisdom. 24 is still my fav movie so far. Keep rewatching the series. |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by LarrySun(m): 7:29am On Jan 20, 2013 |
The Supreme Court ruled unanimously that Jack Bauer's methods were "cruel and unusual punishment". The next day the Supreme Court had nine vacancies. 165 6.54 102 Jack Bauer doesn't take fingerprints, he takes fingers. 533 6.54 103 Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness. 1694 6.54 104 Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. 2624 6.53 105 Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. 2867 6.53 106 In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border. 754 6.53 107 If Jack Bauer gives you his word, return it immediately and run. 346 6.53 108 When the president runs out of options he says: "Get me Jack Bauer, immediately." 103 6.52 109 A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack. 539 6.52 110 On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. 1168 6.52 111 The only reason the Chinese kept Jack alive is so that he could bring down the population. 351 6.52 112 "Jack Bauer Camp" makes "Guantanamo Bay" sound like a weekend retreat in the Hamptons. 197 6.52 113 Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer. 3845 6.52 114 The first words spoken after the Big Bang were, “The following takes place between the birth of Jack Bauer and eternity.” 95 6.52 115 Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day." 971 6.51 116 When Special Forces raided an afghan training camp, they found an empty camp and a pirated copy of 24 Season 4. 264 6.51 117 RIP Edgar If you see this give it a 10. Just cuz it's what Edgar would have wanted. ![]() 118 Jack Bauer is currently involved in a complex law suit with the California Department of Justice due to their attempt to ban Jack Bauer as an "Assault Weapon". Jack maintains he is primarily used for hunting and target shooting, and is quite safe to have around families. But statistics don't lie. 251 6.51 119 Jack Bauer does not need to use a silencer... he just tells his gun to be quiet. 403 6.5 120 When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun. 1549 6.49 121 There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths. 1736 6.48 122 When Jack Bauer took a stress test, the test failed. 226 6.48 123 When you go to hell, it's just a room with you and Jack. 195 6.48 124 Jack Bauer has never caught a cold. How do we know? Colds still exist. 467 6.47 125 Kim Bauer was an accident. Not even the pill can stop Jack Bauer. 957 6.47 126 The pain chart at the hospital reads ”0” for no pain - “10” being interrogated by Jack Bauer. 113 6.47 127 Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes. 1002 6.46 128 Jack Bauer was recently named "most likely cause of injury" among C.T.U. security guards. 210 6.46 129 When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyones lines are translated except for Jack's. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer. 285 6.46 130 In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the Bleep have you done with your life? 3008 6.46 131 When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..." 847 6.46 132 Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. 3412 6.45 133 Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. 1271 6.45 134 Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. 3699 6.45 135 Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car. 877 6.44 136 Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. 675 6.44 137 While imprisoned in China, they made him play Russian Roulette with a shot gun. Jack won. 92 6.43 138 Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed. 603 6.43 139 Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer. 698 6.42 140 When God cries, it rains. When Jack Bauer cries, a nuke goes off in Los Angeles. 169 6.42 141 When Jack Bauer jumps from an airplane, he doesn't fall to the ground. The earth rises to meet him. 198 6.42 142 When Jack says "I won't take no for an answer" you better not say no. 152 6.41 143 Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first. 332 6.41 144 Chase Edmunds, Curtis Manning, and Mike Doyle have all tried to become the next Jack Bauer. We all know what happened to them. 63 6.41 145 Jack Bauer does not let women on top during sex. Why? Because Jack Bauer never bleeps up. 921 6.41 146 Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead." 1708 6.41 147 When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. 2710 6.41 148 Jack needed a well-earned holiday after season 5. Drugged, captured, beaten and tortured in a cargo hold surrounded by Chinese agents eager for revenge is just his preferred method of travel - otherwise he tends to get bored on long trips. 298 6.41 149 American Idol is only popular because it has a commercial for 24. 429 6.4 150 In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around? 1024 6.4 151 Jack Bauer once opened a can of whoop ass. All he found inside was a mirror. 282 6.39 152 Jack Bauer went out to the desert, and was bitten by a rattlesnake. The snake died. 515 6.39 153 Most pilots need 5,000 feet of runway to land a plane. Jack Bauer needs 100 feet and a gun. 293 6.38 154 If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. 1780 6.38 155 When Jack Bauer is running, you'd better fucking run as well, if he's chasing you, you should just shoot yourself. 184 6.38 156 "You don't know Jack" is a blessing among terrorists. 245 6.38 157 When Jack Bauer calls for backup, he isn't requesting more men. He's telling you to back the Bleep up. 97 6.37 158 In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes." 1309 6.37 159 Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it. 2982 6.37 160 Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive. 2745 6.37 161 Jack Bauer doesn't need a receipt to return something to a store, just a gun. 191 6.37 162 Explosions do not kill Jack Bauer, they just get stuff out of his way. 840 6.37 163 If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer. 1188 6.36 164 Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent. 3586 6.36 165 Jack Bauer once won a game of Monopoly by torturing the other game pieces until they went into jail. 149 6.36 166 Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball. 1737 6.35 167 MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one. 280 6.35 168 Jack Bauer pulled a man out of his car, and told him to "Don't get up!" from the sidewalk. That man still has not gotten up from the sidewalk. 151 6.34 169 The "Smoothie" was invented when Jack Bauer needed information from a banana. 646 6.34 170 When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer". 1396 6.34 171 Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him. 1457 6.34 172 To Jack Bauer, the question is not whether the glass is half empty or half full. It's that somebody drank half his damn water, and now they will have a face full of glass. 537 6.34 173 When Jack Bauer was little, he used to tie his brother up to a chair, put a bag on his head, and ask him, "How many cookies did you steal from MY cookie jar!?" 144 6.34 174 If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Stalin and Hitler so they wouldn't have to bear witness to what he'd do to Nina. 873 6.34 175 The truth may hurt, but it doesn't hurt as much as Jack Bauer. 549 6.34 176 When playing "Truth or Dare," Jack Bauer dares you not to tell him the truth. 551 6.34 177 If Jack Bauer saw a terrorist reaching for a bomb to blow himself up, Jack would shoot the bomb first. Nobody steals a kill from Jack Bauer. 1357 6.34 178 If you wish to contact Jack Bauer by phone, your call must first go through the president. 86 6.33 179 The safety on Jack's gun isn't there to protect Jack. It's there to protect the gun. 670 6.33 180 Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer". 1709 6.32 181 Long ago, a sperm was interrogating an egg to find out its primary objective. The result was Jack Bauer. 117 6.32 182 Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice. 3285 6.31 183 Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact. 3794 6.3 184 The Black Eyed Peas were just The Peas until Jack Bauer heard their music. 982 6.3 185 Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday. 1276 6.3 186 There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer. 1457 6.3 187 When Jack Bauer used Herbal Essences, the shampoo had an orgasm. 197 6.29 188 "Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm bleeped". 1680 6.29 189 Jack has broken Tony's leg, knocked Curtis out, and shot George Mason with a tranquilizer dart. Temporary incapacitation is Jack Bauer's way of saying, "let's be friends." 883 6.29 190 If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong. 1288 6.29 191 Quetin Tarantino was asked to direct a biography about Jack Bauer. He passed. It was too violent. 741 6.28 192 Jack Bauer brought sexy back, then shot Justin Timberlake for trying to take the credit. 264 6.28 193 The answer is Jack Bauer, the question doesn't matter. 1288 6.28 194 If you have information Jack Bauer needs, make sure your wife is sitting next to you. 509 6.28 195 Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team. 1078 6.27 196 There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. They are all Jack Bauer. 1264 6.27 197 When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal. 1672 6.27 198 Osama Bin Laden hides under the covers in his bedroom every Monday night from 9 to 10 and cries. 914 6.27 199 Superman is one of the few individuals who could possibly survive a confrontation with Jack Bauer. But that is only because he can fly away. 220 6.27 200 When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out. 1 Like |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Nobody: 8:37am On Jan 23, 2013 |
This is friggin' awesome! |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by DeHero1: 5:35am On May 16, 2013 |
Larry-Sun: If BAUER is a teacher, then JACK must be taught. Death is afraid of JACK BAUER. Satan won't like his hide-out disclosed. If u meet BAUER on your way, there's only one way to turn - UP. ![]() |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Kslib(m): 7:16pm On May 16, 2013 |
Wow!!! Very creative i tell you.. Inshort,this is creativity to the bone.. Ok,let me try and coin one.. 1.. Someone once pointed a gun at jack bauer and he smiled,Do you know why? Cos the bullets in the gun were argueing who would come out first... 2.... Doctors diagnosed jack with cryomia[which means he had no more tears in his eyes],Jack spent 3days toturing himself and eventually cried on the third day BUT saliva had to come in place of tears cos his body couldn't bear the toture anymore and knew he wouldn't give up... 1 Like |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by MsSpaqs(f): 8:45am On Jun 06, 2013 |
Nyc 1@ Larry Sun bt wat ar d numbers in front of each sentence |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Eapps(f): 9:51pm On Jul 06, 2013 |
Kslib: Wow!!! Very creative i tell you.. Inshort,this is creativity to the bone.. Dude u totally got that from a blog lol |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by Kslib(m): 11:37pm On Jul 06, 2013 |
E.apps:Woow!!! I'm impressed with myself.. For you to actually think i copied it really shows i did good.. Anyway,you can search the whole internet and you wont find this anywhere.. Lol |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by butterflyy(f): 8:03pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
Jack Baur doesnt need an Anesthetic to get a surgery done, pain is afraid of him, The president doesnt av the final say, Jack Baur does. Ur life is not in danger until Jack Baur says so. My 2cents. I so love me some 24. Op u did well. Chuck Norris has nothing on Jack jor |
Re: Facts About Jack Bauer by kadosky: 5:24pm On Aug 17, 2013 |
De-Hero:Naruto saw Jack Bauer(bara) and mistook him for Madara... |
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