I and my girl met around April 2011, right now, all is set to marry her coz we av done an introduction, and av even set the date for the marriage, but my only problem is that, she is too detailed....u may wonder wat detailed means. She never overlook anytin, any offence from me, I av to beg and beg, no matter how small and needless it might be, I love to make her happy all the time, but, her 'too detailed type of person' makes her scroll thru my fone, sees anyone I accidentally call 'dear' or 'ping first' who might happen to be a lady....den, war has started, I just av to beg and beg as she keeps recounting. sometimes, once an thru begging for like 3hours, anoda offence comes up again

So if we spend like 10hours 2geda, I approximatly beg for like 8 of the d hours!!!

Pls advice, coz I love her so much and she goes the extra-mile once she's happy wit me, can a man ever do witout offending a lady, and wats d amount of pleading dat shld be enuf to quench the hurt, plz help

eeyah

Keep begging till u run down
Happy married life my broda

Well the only I would like u to do is sit dawn and talk sense into her,make her to understand how u feel about Her actions it should be issues to be trashed out before tying the knot,if not is going to bring problems into your marital life.telling out of experience because I am married.

Thks bro

kennethik: Well the only I would like u to do is sit dawn and talk sense into her,make her to understand how u feel about Her actions it should be issues to be trashed out before tying the knot,if not is going to bring problems into your marital life.telling out of experience because I am married.

Stop begging. Be normal and apologise within reason. Value your integrity man, you are soon to be her husband! ... (whythephuckidontknowkmt)

@op, how old are you, are you sure , you should be considering marriage now at all. You don't sound matured to me. Are you the one that is going to be marrying this woman,it seems the other way round. I mean how many times have you seen your father begging your mother as you beg this lady or is that how your friends beg their own girlfriend and are you going to subject your own children to this eyesore of their father always begging their mother. Recount your steps and set this r/ship in other ,if you actually want to marry this lady and make a success of it ,as it is now it is a recipe for failure. You, the man is and should be the head of your family.

Guy, an African man that cannot offends his wife and still make her beg him is not Man enough ( sounds stupid).
The truth is that, d lady will dictate your marriage, decide when u eat, bath and make love. You better man up or face the musik!

A lifetime of begging awaits you. Have fun.

So if we spend like 10hours 2geda, I approximatly beg for like 8 of the d hours!!!

I know that's a lie but I'll still advice you. I wish you were able to raise this topic earlier before advancing with her to this stage. Right now, if anybody tells you to leave the girl alone, I think that person may become your enemy. But let's get this straight and establish some facts:

1. You have become a slave to love.
2. The girl in question do anything without minding how you would feel about it.
3. You have some fears in your heart.
4. This problem would escalate more than the way you are perceiving it now.
5. The girl would resume absolute control over you soon.
6. The girl doesn't trust you.

So, from the above facts, what are you going to do? Sit and watch her and continue begging? No! Sit her down and talk to her deeply. Let her understand that she's a woman and nothing more than that. But for now, suspend that marriage and watch out for a change. Tell her that you couldn't meet up some things while you start working on her. If after like a month or two, no change comes, brother cancel that marriage. Tell her openly that you are no more interested that some things couldn't just work out between you both. Don't chain yourself in the name of love. Love is not blind again. Let yours see as well.

Are you for real? She's capitalizing on ur weakness,be a man for once. Nothing bad apologizing,but for good,and tangible reason. Most ladies are like that,only they met their match in some men. Cut her bluff off for once.

kennethik: Well the only I would like u to do is sit dawn and talk sense into her,make her to understand how u feel about Her actions it should be issues to be trashed out before tying the knot,if not is going to bring problems into your marital life.telling out of experience because I am married.

Dat has neva worked in marriage, it might work in a bf/gf relationship
Wat makes u think u can change anyone? Wat makes u tink u can change anyone by sitting dem down and talkin sense into them?
One major tin we shd knw abt marriage is u cant change a man/woman, especially wen its positively.
When u see something u cant live/cope wit in ur partner, its beta 2 luk elsewhere than think dey will change or that u can change them.
When it comes 2 tins lik dis, people dnt change.
Pls take a case study of different families or ask married people, u will have a concise understanding of wat im sayin
Marriage is meant 2 be enjoyed nt endured.

@op, sori to say, ur woman has an unforgiving spirit. And that is bad. And it seems u are d soft type dats wy she is dealing wift u like dat. My advice to u is to sit her, talk to her. Cos u are about to take a life tym commitement, so be wise.

I just do not think it's all right to leave things as it is and enter the marriage, it's still quite early. Whatever you want to correct... now is the time, so if it's a big deal for you,now is the time to sort it out.How come she never does something wrong, I would have prescribed a taste of her own medicine for a change. More so i see nothing wrong in finding out what will be the worse case scenario should you not "beg and beg" for the next offense. I'm still at a loss though that you're going into a life time commitment with someone you cannot spend 10hrs together without offending.

Seriously confused more dan ever

eyenCalabar:

I know that's a lie but I'll still advice you. I wish you were able to raise a this topic earlier before advancing with her to this stage. Right now, if anybody tells you to leave the girl alone, I think that person may become your enemy. But let's get this straight and establish some facts:

1. You have become a slave to love.
2. The girl in question do anything without minding how you would feel about it.
3. You have some fears in your heart.
4. This problem would escalate more than the way you are perceiving it now.
5. The girl would resume absolute control over you soon.
6. The girl doesn't trust you.

So, from the above facts, what are you going to do? Sit and watch her and continue begging? No! Sit her down and talk to her deeply. Let her understand that she's a woman and nothing more than that. But for now, suspend that marriage and watch out for a change. Tell her that you couldn't meet up some things while you start working on her. If after like a month or two, no change comes, brother cancel that marriage. Tell her openly that you are no more interested that some things couldn't just work out between you both. Don't chain yourself in the name of love. Love is not blind again. Let yours see as well.

U are right dude. I cant agree less wit most of ur points, bt guy i dnt go wit u on
"Sit her down and talk to her deeply. Let her understand that she's a woman and nothing more than that."

When it comes 2 marriage, this doesnt wok at all.
A gal who had bin living her life in a particular format, say 25-30yrs, hw do u tink u can suddenly talk her out of herself.
Walahi, it doesnt wok.

I love dis particular fact "4. This problem would escalate more than the way you are perceiving it now"

This is sum big 'ish' oo. Cos i doubt if she'z gonna change by just talking to her. If she'z gonna change at all, bet it with me, she'll change the hard way. At the same tym, i don't think u wanna spend the rest of ur lyf begging. U need to talk a lot of sense into her and let her see rsonz why u cannot continue lyk dis. U NEED TO BE A MAN!!! _{can't even bliv u're planning marriage, no offence meant}

hrmkz: Guy, an African man that cannot offends his wife and still make her beg him is not Man enough ( sounds stupid).
The truth is that, d lady will dictate your marriage, decide when u eat, bath and make love. You better man up or face the musik!

word

OP, stop cheating so you don't have to beg!

sammy-young:
Seriously confused more dan ever

Good. It simply means your are beginning to be aware of the magnitude of your problem.

Next time it's time to beg, just bone her...come back and tell us what happened.

Lmfao! U set a date to marry a gal wiv such attitude? Get ready bro! U gon beg breakfast, lunch and dinner, beg for punny, beg for hugs, beg for attention... Infact,u go beg/bribe/cry to have kids.shebi ur own love get Apollo ba? Marriage go buy u eye-drop. Ode!

[She might hav caught u somewhere] but still talk sense into her and stop begging. Pls

Grow some balls dude. Since the beg pattern is not getting the desired results I advice you be a man for once.
Call bluff Her eve characteristics and stamp down your adamic authority.

Tell her to go to hell, become a real wacko and see her in time go on the defensive instead of being on the offensive all the time. She will soon learn to appreciate and tolerate your person. Don't allow the daughter of an EVE toss you like a volleyball all the time.
The difference between a man and woman is that there is a beastly characteristics in a man. Try and unleash the beast in you temporarily to claim dominion over your territory.

OP, I think she's probably your first girlfriend and I believe you must have started the relationship on a begging note. Try not to make mistakes but since nobody is perfect and if a mistake comes up just apologies within limits. am sure she's not perfect herself but she doesnt beg you for 8hours after a minor mistake.
You are the man and start behaving like one.

U all av made very gud comments, bt none of u culd ask d basis y he begs, or shuld we ignore the fact that theres smt dis dude does ‎​†нα† makes him beg? He said d lady goes extra miles for him wen she's happy wif him, so if a lady culd go dt mile for him y wuld she be a mistake for him to get married to, this guy in questn shuld check his self, he his failin @ a point, as a matter of fact its wen u knw u av done smt wrong ‎​†нα† u wil beg, so do u also av to do things to hurt her feelings n leads to u beggin, do d right thing n u won't av reasons to apologise always....she is perfectly in order, n if T̅ђє̲̣̥ house feels u shuld end ur relatnship, go ahead bt i tell u, shey u re complainin of beggin, d nxt gal u meet wil be worse cos d problem is frm u n not the lady.

Vikin: OP, stop cheating so you don't have to beg!

God bless u, i feel dis guy is also cheatin dts y he's beggin of course guys got their EG0 n they wil always use it wen they knw they re right, bt on his part he had to beg becos he's also Cheatin.....Guy stop cheatin n u wil get d best of her, u peeps suggestin d guy shuld break up,i tink its d lady ‎​†нα† shuld break up cos d guy doesn't love her sincerely cos if he really does he won't cheat on her....GBAM

sunny t:

Dat has neva worked in marriage, it might work in a bf/gf relationship
Wat makes u think u can change anyone? Wat makes u tink u can change anyone by sitting dem down and talkin sense into them?
One major tin we shd knw abt marriage is u cant change a man/woman, especially wen its positively.
When u see something u cant live/cope wit in ur partner, its beta 2 luk elsewhere than think dey will change or that u can change them.
When it comes 2 tins lik dis, people dnt change.
Pls take a case study of different families or ask married people, u will have a concise understanding of wat im sayin
Marriage is meant 2 be enjoyed nt endured.

bros u too gbasski.. Dat wat ma parent av always told me.... Dont manage if u dont lik it just walk away

Are u a bigger? Smhfu.. Such only happens in naija comedy .bro ,i also respect my woman and i can do anything to make her happy,but i can't trade my manhood...raise to ur responsibilities as a man,act and think like a man,do away with all wht She doesn't like...trace ur steps back.

eyenCalabar:

I know that's a lie but I'll still advice you.

broda, it may not be a lie, i ve been in such a relationship that i begged even weh she was wrong just to make her happy.

@OP,
yu just have to be de man, sitting her down and talkin to her wont make any difference.
u have to teach her some good lessons by actions, ...yes! actions, when she needs those explanation and begging, ignore her , and walk away if yu cant stand her presence or if yur heart no fit .

if she acts like dis now, i dont wanna imagine wat will happen wen u are finally married,
Imagin if anythin happen and she becomes de 'breadwinner', guy u don finish.

so wise up, man up and act up.

wishin yu de best

STOP MAKING URSELF HER FOOTMAT or boyboy. If u genuinely offend her, apologize once and carry on as if nothing happened. Let her sulk till infinity. Learn to ignore her sulk. Is she God? We offend God and ask 4 forgiveness once and He hears. Ur girl is a proud self-righteous lady! She no dey offend u?

No one is perfect, OP. If you leave her, the next woman you choose would not be perfect either. That doesn't mean you've to continue accepting your fiance's behaviour. Communicate and let her know what you're not happy with, ask her to tell you what she's not happy with and work on them together now. Has this been going on for a while or is it recent?

Is she demanding to see your phone or are you giving it to her? She should not be checking your phone to see who you're talking to. There're either trust issues between you or she has issues she needs to work on personally.