you can say that again!

mondi_cheeks: if she doesn't get a job...u don't want to marry her cos u think she is lazy...if she gets a job and makes her own money u still don't want to marry her cos she doesn't need a man for survival...men are indecisive

i don't think men wouldn't want their wives to make money, but making your career a priority over family is what most men won't tolerate.

Imagine a woman saying she wants to be made in her career first before thinking of a family. You can't eat your cake and have it because time waits for no one.

Agreed. When it"s time for family, family should be first priority that's why I want to wait first and be settled not to jump into marriage n then husband complains abt career over family.

honeric01: i don't think men wouldn't want their wives to make money, but making your career a priority over family is what most men won't tolerate.

Imagine a woman saying she wants to be made in her career first before thinking of a family. You can't eat your cake and have it because time waits for no one.

honeric01: i don't think men wouldn't want their wives to make money, but making your career a priority over family is what most men won't tolerate.

Imagine a woman saying she wants to be made in her career first before thinking of a family. You can't eat your cake and have it because time waits for no one.

That's why you use your single years to build yourself up in your career so that when you do get married you can have more time for your family.

totalbaby: Agreed. When it"s time for family, family should be first priority that's why I want to wait first and be settled not to jump into marriage n then husband complains abt career over family.

No one is telling you to jump into marriage but saying you want to be established first in your career before thinking of 'marriage" is dangerous especially for a woman.

Nature does not favor women
nor does time.

if your career takes 10 years to click, you have to wait till then before thinking of "finding" the man right?

And if your career is more important, you shouldn't even bother about marriage at all because no [b]sane [/b]husband would marry a wife whose's career comes first before family.

Well the difference is I already have the right man and in two yrs time I"l be done. Thanks for ur concern though.

honeric01:

No one is telling you to jump into marriage but saying you want to be established first in your career before thinking of 'marriage" is dangerous especially for a woman.

Nature does not favor women
nor does time.

if your career takes 10 years to click, you have to wait till then before thinking of "finding" the man right?

And if your career is more important, you shouldn't even bother about marriage at all because no [b]sane [/b]husband would marry a wife whose's career comes first before family.

True2myself24:

That's why you use your single years to build yourself up in your career so that when you do get married you can have more time for your family.

You can't build a career in your single life and then throw it away after you're married. most successful career women we know now handled both side by side, they didn't ignore one for the other. one is likely going to suffer for the other. the best way to merge them is if you learn manage both from the start (Just my opinion o)

Ignoring one for the other now would make it very difficult to combine later in life, the best way to build a successful career and a successful home to me is to manage/practice both at the same time.

E.g

Okonjo ....
Dora Aku..
Oby Eke...
Denziani Mad...
Abike Dabiri

e.t.c

those who missed it (not mocking them)

Iyanda ...
Faniyat....
Oruma Otte....

e.t.c

Learning to manage both together won't come after you're long gone in one before picking up the other.

totalbaby: Well the difference is I already have the right man and in two yrs time I"l be done. Thanks for ur concern though.

Well, i was actually not talking to you per say, rather was speaking generally. 2yrs from now isn't bad as long as the man isn't complaining.

It's well.

honeric01:

You can't build a career in your single life and then throw it away after you're married. most successful career women we know now handled both side by side, they didn't ignore one for the other. one is likely going to suffer for the other. the best way to merge them is if you learn manage both from the start (Just my opinion o)

Ignoring one for the other now would make it very difficult to combine later in life, the best way to build a successful career and a successful home to me is to manage/practice both at the same time.

E.g

Okonjo ....
Dora Aku..
Oby Eke...
Denziani Mad...
Abike Dabiri

e.t.c

those who missed it (not mocking them)

Iyanda ...
Faniyat....
Oruma Otte....

e.t.c

Learning to manage both together won't come after you're long gone in one before picking up the other.

Well with the field that I'm in, I know how far I want to go and it's possible for me to work towards it while I'm single. And I work in a field that gives me a lot of flexiblility with raising a family when im ready to so

True2myself24:

Well with the field that I'm in, I know how far I want to go and it's possible for me to work towards it while I'm single. And I work in a field that gives me a lot of flexiblility with raising a family when im ready to so

Like i always said, the fact that i quoted you does not mean you're the only one i am addressing. if what i am saying does not apply to you, then it's all good.

There are alot of [b]females [/b]out there who like to join the bandwagon without knowing where the others they're joining are coming from. someone who needs at least 10 years to build her career to a stable level (started when she was 26) may likely want to pick up the "let me finish up with my career first before thinking about marriage" just because she saw another one did it even though she doesn't really know when that one started and how long she took before she got the security in her career. a woman at 36 with a stable career won't be that "attractive" for most suitors. except off-course she doesn't mind who give her attention.

My stand is that, everyone should know what they are going for, the cons and pros and no one should use another person's watch to run.

[color=#550000][/color]marriage is no childs play especially wen u mingle wit d wrong person nd end up regrettin eva gettin involvd wit him bt den i'll be too late wen married dats y gals of nw adays dnt jump into a relatnship cs am an examrle of dat....he dosnt respect me nd beats me up @ any given opportunity nd i feel so ashamed weneva i go out in public wit marks all ova my body

Ola3tag: [color=#550000][/color]marriage is no childs play especially wen u mingle wit d wrong person nd end up regrettin eva gettin involvd wit him bt den i'll be too late wen married dats y gals of nw adays dnt jump into a relatnship cs am an examrle of dat....he dosnt respect me nd beats me up @ any given opportunity nd i feel so ashamed weneva i go out in public wit marks all ova my body

It is better to be single/divorced/separated and alive than married and dead.

He that has ears, let him hear, for this is great wisdom.

Sexily Endowed: We have many kids on nairaland. Smh

sounds like u just lost ur ana/l virginity. pull ur skirt up.

kmcutez:

It is better to be single/divorced/separated and alive than married and dead.

He that has ears, let him hear, for this is great wisdom.

hes mum nd bro said 2 giv him time dat he'll change. Aldough he is already changin...said he dosnt wanna luse me bt accordin 2 his mum,i av 2 pay a little price!!
She said i av 2 stop seein him 4 @least 2months... :-(

Ola3tag:


hes mum nd bro said 2 giv him time dat he'll change. Aldough he is already changin...said he dosnt wanna luse me bt accordin 2 his mum,i av 2 pay a little price!!
She said i av 2 stop seein him 4 @least 2months... :-(

An abuser will always persuade the victim to go back to him/her by telling the victim all sorts of lies, for eg. that they will change for the better, or they love the victim and cannot live without the victim etc. Everything will be okay for awhile until the next incident, and the next incident, and the next incident, and the abuse will keep escalating until the victim ends up dead.

An abuser will/can never change, and it is advisable that you leave and do not let him know where you are.

I know I am wasting my time advising you, because it is also difficult for the victim to leave his/her abuser.

Please seek the help of a psychologist, to enable you become strong enough to leave this person you are with.

Body & Soul are extreamly willing but pocket is weak *season 2*.

Ola3tag:


hes mum nd bro said 2 giv him time dat he'll change. Aldough he is already changin...said he dosnt wanna luse me bt accordin 2 his mum,i av 2 pay a little price!!
She said i av 2 stop seein him 4 @least 2months... :-(

PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND FLEE!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT HAVE KIDS FOR HIM. HE WILL NOT CHANGE, I REPEAT HE WILL NOT CHANGE. This is one mistake a lot of ladies make when they are with an abusive partner and they are praying that he'll change. Na lie!!! He can come and apologize after the abuse, heck he can even throw in a few sobs here and there, all na wash. He just needs you back and even at that instance, any wrong words come flying outta ya mouth, another 'royal rumble' starts.

mekula:

PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND FLEE!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT HAVE KIDS FOR HIM. HE WILL NOT CHANGE, I REPEAT HE WILL NOT CHANGE. This is one mistake a lot of ladies make when they are with an abusive partner and they are praying that he'll change. Na lie!!! He can come and apologize after the abuse, heck he can even throw in a few sobs here and there, all na wash. He just needs you back and even at that instance, any wrong words come flying outta ya mouth, another 'royal rumble' starts.

Exactly what I told her in my last post, that she should leave, but it might also be difficult for her to do so, especially if she has been with this guy for awhile.


An abuser will first of all work on the victim's psychology so that their victim is dependent on them. Once they have destroyed the victim's self esteem to an extent, will then take control of the victim. An abuser is parasitic in nature and sho
uld not be treated with kid's glove.

She should work on her self esteem so that she can leave him, as I'm sure the guy makes her believe that she is the one at fault for making him beat her. Anyone that can raise their hand in anger towards another can also kill.

As for me, I never step foot in anyone's house where there is abuse lest I become incidental casualty or collateral damage.

Ola3tag:


hes mum nd bro said 2 giv him time dat he'll change. Aldough he is already changin...said he dosnt wanna luse me bt accordin 2 his mum,i av 2 pay a little price!!
She said i av 2 stop seein him 4 @least 2months... :-(

How did u put yourself in that situation? Let me tell you a sad truth, people dnt change, it will only get worse and y shd u live ur life beliving someone will change?

Ola3tag:


hes mum nd bro said 2 giv him time dat he'll change. Aldough he is already changin...said he dosnt wanna luse me bt accordin 2 his mum,i av 2 pay a little price!!
She said i av 2 stop seein him 4 @least 2months... :-(

Sorry to mention this, but could you write in proper english next time. What you wrote is kind of difficult to read and comprehend.

@Ola3tag

Plz wisen up jawe, ur in-laws wud tell u to bear a little coz its der son dat has flaws but if U were d one wif one little bad habit dat is not even as grevious as dz they wl be one to help him get rid of u but they tell u to bear it a bit more until u chop d beating of ur life dat myt result in u being maimed for life or outright death!

kmcutez:

Exactly what I told her in my last post, that she should leave, but it might also be difficult for her to do so, especially if she has been with this guy for awhile.


An abuser will first of all work on the victim's psychology so that their victim is dependent on them. Once they have destroyed the victim's self esteem to an extent, will then take control of the victim. An abuser is parasitic in nature and sho
uld not be treated with kid's glove.

She should work on her self esteem so that she can leave him, as I'm sure the guy makes her believe that she is the one at fault for making him beat her. Anyone that can raise their hand in anger towards another can also kill.

As for me, I never step foot in anyone's house where there is abuse lest I become incidental casualty or collateral damage.

already left him....thanks guys

Ola3tag:

already left him....thanks guys

One less victim. One less death

Skul +none yet +i don't tink i'm ready.

money-hungry :

19? u look 91.