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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Laff Until U Re Tired. (10705 Views)
When You Are Tired Of Driving The Car And Its Time For The Car To Drive You. Pic / I Need Ur Help...view Only If U Re Good In English / Laaaf It Out Wit Kingron Until U Can Laf No More!!! (2) (3) (4)
Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 6:40pm On Jan 24, 2013 |
A girl afta having a boring interc*our$e told his akpos;I didn't knw u hav a small guitar and akpors replied;i didn't knw dat i will be per4min in a big hall 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 10:14am On Feb 01, 2013 |
AKPORS FUKKUP. Akpors and his gang of robbers went to rub a house at nyt. Since they didnt hav any gunthey decided to giv Akpors bangers to blow at d gate while d rest of them go inside. Atleast dat wil sound like a real gun and scared d people. "Open dis door b4 we break it" Akpors gang thundered The door was opened. And a man and his wife with their 4 fiece lukin boys wher in d rum. "bring out ur money" Akpors at d gate threw one banger and it went off"baaaang!!! Akpors gang: do u hear dat gun shot? Bring ur money fast or else we wil cal him. Heis cal 'THE KILLER' The wife:Papa Emeka giv demmoney o. (Turnin to Akpors gang)Pls we beg u dont cal hm. Dont cal d kiler. Nnemo" Papa Emeka brot out an evelop containin some money.The gang colected it, nt satisfied wit d amount.They requested 4 mor. Again Akpors at d gate threwanoda banger and off it went baaaang!!! (each time he threw d banga he would hide himself cover his two ears wit his finger until d banga finish it sound.) Akpors gang: do u hear dat gun shot frm d Killer outside. We just dont want anybody dead dats why we didnt cal him. If u rily like ursef bring mor money. Everybody is panikin.. At dat moment Akpors enter. Akpors: d banger wey una giv me say make i dey blow 4gate don finish o. Gang: what? U mean d bulet has finish (eyeing Akpors) Akpors: whch bulet? I hold gun? Com see beatin.. Akpors and his gang ar now admited in d hospital. Lol.. 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 12:43pm On Feb 01, 2013 |
on december 25th two little boys were busy trowing banger (a fireworks that explode with a lot of noise) everywere... So they came to a police check point were akpors a policeman were busy smokingcigareth. As the police man was about to put a cigareth in his mouth the boys threw abanger and it exploded, akpors the policeman mistakingly threw out his cigareth bc of the fear...he taught it was armed robbers who came to attack him. so hepursued the two boys and onthe process their banger fall off and the policeman picked their bangers and put it in his left pocket...then he went back to his duty post. Some minutes later, A couple came to the check point and said to the policeman: "happy xmas"...and they handed#3,500 naira to him. Akpors the policeman became happy and replied "i wish u the same" and immediately he dipped his hand in his pocketand brought out the banger and put it in his mouth thinking it was his remaining cigareth. Then he lighted the banger.. As he was waving tothe couple The banger exploded in his mouth.... both the money and his mouth akpors couldnt recognise any of them.. Lolzz Akpors is at the hospital bed. 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 3:49pm On Feb 01, 2013 |
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year- old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,"What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!" 3 Likes |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by binmacc(f): 8:57pm On Feb 01, 2013 |
do you have to write an entire movie script before we see the fun part of the joke....... 6 Likes |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by Nobody: 4:58am On Feb 02, 2013 |
Nice but old |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:57am On Feb 02, 2013 |
binmacc: do you have to write an entire movie script before we see the fun part of the joke.......is it a must 4 u 2 comment,or do u think it is easy 2 type,abeg shift make I see road,NEXT PERSON pls. 2 Likes |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:58am On Feb 02, 2013 |
PretiEbony: Nice but oldlong tym,where did u go? |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 11:10am On Feb 02, 2013 |
Akpors tells a story about his 40th birthday.. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn't feel like waking up dat morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife wud be pleasant and say"happy birthday" and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out she barely daid goodmorning let alone happy birthday, I thought well dats marriage for u, but the kids they will remember. My kids came trampling down d stairs to breakfast, ate dia breakfast and didn't say a word to me. So wen I made it out ofhouse and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Lucy said "goodmorning boss, and by the way happy birthday!" It felt a bit better knwing dat atleast someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about 1pm wen Lucy knocked on my door andsaid " Ɣou knw its such a beautiful outside and its ur birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just me and u." I said thanks Lucy, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go. We went to lunch but not where we'd usually go. Instead she took me to a quiet bristowit a private table. We had couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed my meal tremendously. On the way back to the office,Lucy said " u know its such a beautiful day, we don't have to go right back to the office,do we?" I replied wid, I suppose not. She said let's go to my apartment, its just around the corner. After arriving at her apartment Lucy turned to me and said"Boss if u don't mind, I'm gonna step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." Ok, I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes she came out carrying a huge birthday cake followed by my wife, kids,dozens of my friends and my co-workers all singing happy birthday, and Ijust sat there on the couch naked! 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 11:43am On Feb 02, 2013 |
TEACHER: Class choose between money and brain? AKPOS : I’d go for the money! TEACHER : I’d go forbrain! AKPOS :Well everybody goes for what he doesn’t have. 3 Likes |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by Nobody: 3:23pm On Feb 02, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous:yeah i'm the next person! Ur jokes are too long, but funny sha |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 6:51pm On Feb 02, 2013 |
Akpos was looking at his mum's National ID card. Its writing on it .... Name: Matilda Okafor Age:35. Marital Status: Married. Sex: F..... He started laughing sooooo loud. His mum asked?Son ΨђåƮ's funny? Akpos replied....Now i know why Daddy divorced you. Because u had F in SEX!!!. . 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 6:52pm On Feb 02, 2013 |
A father believed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son... "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." Without looking up from his game, Akpors pointed out,"When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of TheUnited States." 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 6:53pm On Feb 02, 2013 |
U are on a bike & it's one fine girl like this that's behindu. U start to think, ''Oboy shey my polo no dirty for back like this......I hope sey my hair no brown shaa.....& i wan dye am this morning b4 o......i hope sey this bastard barber shape d back wella o........mehnn, shey i no get bumps for back of neck like this.......No e no fit show..........' ' When all d while, d girl is thinking, ''God, how will i do this chemistry 202 EXAM tomorrow o.....'' 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by plendil: 10:26pm On Feb 02, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous: |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:30am On Feb 05, 2013 |
A married fellow gets home early 4rm work & hears strange noise coming 4rm d bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on d bed sweating & panting. Wat's ...up? He ask. I am having heart attack, cries d wife . He rushes downstairs to grab d phone but just as he's dialing, his 4yrs old son comes up and says daddy! Daddy! Uncleted is hiding in ur closet and he is not wearing clothes. D man slams d phone and storms upstairs into d bedroom pass his screaming wife and sure enough dia is his brother totally naked cowering on d closet floor. U bastard!!! Says d husband. My wife is having heart attack, and all u can do is run around d house naked scaring d kids? 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 3:05pm On Feb 05, 2013 |
Dad to his son akpos : When I beat you, how do you control your anger ? Akpos : I start cleaning the toilet. Dad : How does that satisfy you ? Akpos : I clean it with your toothbrush.. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 4:00pm On Feb 05, 2013 |
Akpors was having sex with his boss wife at her house When suddenly thieves broke in. Akpors went out of the house running as fast as he could to his house. When he arrived home, his wife asked, "why are you naked??"..... Akpors replied, "well, i was attacked by thieves on my way home, they took everything from me".... Wife: so why is a condom on your pen*s ? Akpors: "well, as a grown up man, i couldn't run home completely naked. i had to cover some parts." 3 Likes |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by emandman: 4:04pm On Feb 05, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous:mumu husband! |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by donted(m): 4:05pm On Feb 05, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous: The man is a learner 9s one |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 10:35am On Feb 06, 2013 |
Girlfriend: Honey, help me with your phone for a minute. Boyfriend: okey, wait i switch it on (he deletes messages, delete photos, deletes videos, logs out from facebook, formats the memory card) here is the phone, I have nothing to hide. Girlfriend: ok dear,just wanted to check the time so as to set mine. Boyfriend:what? 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by Xymc1(m): 4:59pm On Feb 06, 2013 |
Nice and funny jokes Mr T. |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:24am On Feb 08, 2013 |
Xymc...:tanx 4 d comp. Here is something interestingfor you Just read One day, a pastor was with a women’s congregation and he asked them: Pastor (question): Can those with husbands raise up their hands? Ladies: (They all raised their hands). Pastor (question): How many of you love their husbands Ladies: (They all raised their hands) Pastor (question): Areyou sure ladies before God? Can I prophesy? Ladies:Yes!!! Pastor (question): When did you last tell your husbands that “you love him" Ladies: (Various answers but some of them said)- “today when leaving the house”, “last night”, "when we went to bed”, “This morning when I woke up”, Pastor: Each one of you should send a message “ I love you” to your husband now. Ladies: They all sent thetest message “I love you” Pastorsaid: Exchange your phones Ladies: They all exchanged their phones Pastor: Read out loudthe replies from the husbands. Here are the replies to the messages from their husbands: 1. Is this message lost 2. Aaaah who is this? 3. Am I dreaming?? 4. What is the matter!!?? 5. What do you mean!!!! 6. Could it be that you need money!!? 7. Did you smashmy car?? 8. The messageshould be sent back to the intended owner!!!! 9. To hell!!!!!!!!! 10. I will beat you to death today until you tell me to whom the message was intended!!!!!! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:27am On Feb 08, 2013 |
Akpors walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was downand his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, "This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?" Akpors told her he knew he'dclosed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his "garage door." He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, "When my garage door was open, did you see my shiny Hummerparked in there?" She smiled and said, "No, I didn't. All I saw was an old, dull, minivan with two flat tires." 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:30am On Feb 08, 2013 |
Teacher: Who is the president of Iraq? Boy: I don't know Mrs Teacher: You need to fucus more on your studies. Boy: Please mrs, can I aske aquestion? Teacher: Yes Boy: Do you know Mercy? Teacher: No. Why? Boy: You need to focus more on your husband. : 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 9:35am On Feb 08, 2013 |
Man: I am getting married. How would I know if my wife isa virgin? Doc : Get a Virginity test kit. Man: What's that? Doc : Get a Can of Red Paint, a can of Blue Paint and a hammer. Man: What ? Are you mad? Doc : Paint your right Ball Redand Left Ball Blue and as you remove your underwear, if your wife says,'that's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen' Hit her head with the hammer ! 2 Likes |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by beycitee(m): 2:28pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous:nice one.... |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by Ruqaya(f): 6:53pm On Feb 08, 2013 |
funny |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by mydex93(f): 7:30am On Feb 09, 2013 |
binmacc: do you have to write an entire movie script before we see the fun part of the joke.......and do u av 2 comment? 1 Like |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by ekeroyal(m): 2:22pm On Feb 09, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous: The bomb, keep them coming. |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by MrTAnonymous(m): 10:29am On Feb 15, 2013 |
One day Akpos and John were watching T.V when the news came on, showing a man standing on a bridge about to commit suicide, suddenly Apkos said "I'll bet N500 that the guy won't jump off", John said I bet N500 that he will jump. Unfortunately for Akpos the man jumped off the bridge, Akpos accepted his fate and stretched forth the money but John didn't take it, saying"I can't take the money coz I cheated, I already saw the news this morning" but Akpos insisted and said"no you can take it, I cheated too, I also watched the news this morning, I just din't knowthe guy will be stupid enough to jump again!" How many likes for Akporsstupidity 2 Likes |
Re: Laff Until U Re Tired. by Sezua(m): 12:54pm On Feb 15, 2013 |
Mr.T Anonymous:yeah....u nid brains too |
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