This is no chewing gum issue, so let us address this as it affects you and I directly or someone we know.

Almost 3 in 10 Nigerians claim to know a ra*pe victim according the latest poll results released in Abuja by NOI Polls Limited on Friday January 25, 2013. And I am one of the people who have addressed the consequences of ra*pe on women in Nigeria as a research study. So, I know facts and figures of the numerous cases and tragedies of those who never recovered and one of the most pathetic casea; of a Christian sister who was ra*ped by a well known brother who was a fellow church member, and she became insane whilst he returned to his normal life as a banker, because the case was never reported to the police. And pastors are not qualified to be psychotherapists!

What matters most is how we treat the innocent victims of ra*pe, especially when she is your own girlfriend or fiancé.
How we react will either do more harm or not to her.

The stigma worsens her trauma when she is treated with discrimination like her boyfriend or fiancé loving her less or even leaving her for another woman.
I am not asking you to pity her.
What she needs and wants is your love and not your pity.
You should empathize and not stigmatize!

The stigma is why many of our girlfriends and fiancées don't confess or report that they have been ra*ped. But later in our relationship or marriage, the psychological consequences of the traumatic experience will affect her behaviour like sudden tantrums of hysteria and melancholia. Some extreme cases lead to bipolar disorder often mistaken by the religious and superstitious ones among us as spiritual problems and pastors or ministers begin to conjure evil spirits who are even innocent of the predicament they are accused of.
Like the devil lamenting that he is not omnipresent and yet thousands of humans accuse him of crimes he never committed since he was not even on the locations.
Imagine a ra*pist called Bonny lying that "the devil made me do it" in court when the devil was far away in New York City when he Bonny ra*ped the girl in Lagos.
Many of the cases affecting lovers and couples in Nigeria have nothing to do with spiritual forces, but with past traumatic encounters and experiences that were never confessed or exposed, because of the fears of stigmatization and never treated.

If she was ra*ped by armed robbers or other criminals, report to the police and then go straight to the hospital and then to the qualified psychotherapist.
Don't hide it, because when you don't report it like thousands of others, the ra*pi*sts will only be encouraged to continue and that is why cases of ra*pe are increasing by the day, because these brutes among men know that they can always escape from prosecution.

Please, no matter the relationship with the ra*pist, whether Uncle Joe, Bro Peter or Papa Bomboy, report the criminal to the police to be arrested and arraigned.
Don't let any ra*pist go unpunished.

The punishment of the ra*pist helps the victim to be appeased and her appeasement helps in her healing and recovery.
But when her enemy goes scot-free, she feels more pain.
So don't let the dogs with remorseful eyes get off scot-free from just about any wrongdoing often labelled as "date ra*pe".
Ra*pe is ra*pe and must not go unreported and unpunished.
This is the only way we can stop the stigma and treat the trauma quickly.
Hidden wounds last longer, but open wounds can be healed faster.

Therefore, if your girlfriend or fiancée; sister, niece or aunt has been ra*ped, that is when she needs your love most to heal and recover earlier.
Don't blame her even if she could be found guilty of flirting with and tempting the boy or man who ra*ped her.

If she gets pregnant from the ra*pe, please abort it without debate or delay.
Don't listen to anything contrary to the decision to abort a pregnancy from ra*pe, because keeping the pregnancy will only worsen her stigmatization and trauma as the longer she sees it the longer she will suffer.
You must help her to forget the pains and the shame.
And PLEASE, DON'T EVER USE IT AGAINST HER WHENEVER YOU ARE UPSET.
LOVE HER TRULY AND STILL RESPECT HER AS YOU WERE DOING BEFORE SHE WAS RA*PED.

The fear of stigmatization has promoted the barbaric act, only if our society is continuously educated about crime reporting and more importantly is when the reporter is not apprehended as the culprit.

On point

Orikinla: This is no chewing gum issue, so let us address this as it affects you and I directly or someone we know.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,......Like the devil lamenting that he is not omnipresent and yet thousands of humans accuse him of crimes he never committed since he was not even on the locations.
Imagine a ra*pist called Bonny lying that "the devil made me do it" in court when the devil was far away in New York City when he Bonny ra*ped the girl in Lagos.
Many of the cases affecting lovers and couples in Nigeria have nothing to do with spiritual forces,............................................

@Op, you are actually making fun of ra'pe? and you wonder why ladies get psychologically damaged by the event?

Smh#

Smh

I cant believe you just referred to rape as fornication. Fornication is of your will. Rape is a totally different thing.

I dont support abortion but I wont judge anyone who aborts a pregnancy resulting from a rape.

The OP is confused