slej:

what if after breaking up he finds out that the other girl he went for was not and can never be like the other and he later comes begging what should she do. already she now see someelse, but the begging from the ex is making her old feeling to come back. what should she do.

davidylan:

xcape's analysis is spot on correct.
Most girls fail to read the signs that all is not well (is this a problem of perception?) so they cling unto the relationship making it so hard for the guy to just walk out. So the guy holds on, thinking maybe things will get better until he finds out it will not. most often he's met another girl who has many of the qualities he thinks are lacking in his present girl and he's wondering what he's still doing holding on.

From experience, it can be traumatic to the guy too breaking up with someone he's known for a long time. but somethings just have to be done no matter how painful the might seem.

Girls are highly emotional creatures, they fail to realistically approach issues of romance, they have this romantic notion in their heads and forget there are real issues like money, kids, jobs, lifestyles, atitude, involved in making a relationship work.

Seun:

If a relationship isn't going well, break it so someone else can find you.

hilz:

the thing is that once the spark is out of any relationship, it gets boring and suffocating, guys n garls alike don't want boring but garls are more future focused while we guys want da now thing,

I want food (NOW) I want sex (NOW) I want com4t (NOW) I want a change (NOW)

garl, give him something 2 look foward 2 n your guy will become a mumu 4 You. every guy wants 2 believe he has something exciting and adventurous to luk 4wad 2. don't be too relationship concious or you'll scare and bore him, don't see romance as a part of the programme but let it carry meaning 4 You both & do more research on his likes, wants and needs while building yourself in2 a monument of pride for you (first), him (second) and da world.

every man admires and craves an achiever woman (we are just often 2 scared 2 admit this but its gospel truth)

adexway:

What if the man entered the realationship with the wrong motive? The only thing that has been consistent or constant in life is changes. If the woman changes over time, the man get bored of being used to the same thing.
Not actually ideal. but it happens. Knowing the what you need in a realationship could also be very helpful. And differentiating between fantancy and reality is important. She might not be more than dreams, a wishful dream for that matter. Be head leveled getting into any realationship.

Well said, though you said that 'if the woman changes over time, the man get bored of being used to the same thing' - if she's changing then it ain't the same thing.

Most people don't start to understand what they truly need in a relationship until they've been through quite a few, in the meantime, breaking hearts and having theirs broken. I have a very strong opinion though is that the idea which most young single guys have about 'sex being a necessity' disappears, as they realise that it's one of the worst things you can base a decisions for a successful relationship on, later in life, they start the search for something deeper, which is harder,

I pray God gives us all somebody to love who loves us.

topup:

I think that the above is a great summary for a short relationship, that wasn't expected to last but has. If anybody approaches a serious relationship, looking for 'da now thing' it probably isn't going to work. That's what happened to me.

You see, in a long relationship, the man has probably gotten used to you being a part of his life, that he keeps going on with it, and if he finds noone else at the time that he could see himself with, then you temporarily are the best he thinks he can get - 'til she turns up. Familiarity for some ties them to the relationship, instead of love. Another thing to consider is whether the relationship is only just routine, you're both so used to it that there's no fun in it. I personally think, that thinking about how long a couple have been going out, isn't helpful, because at times more emphasis is placed on the number of years rather than how strong/genuine the love you have between each other. Guys are more patient than we give them credit for, I think their minds work faster than we think, though men often say women are too quick as in 'we're thinking about marriage, 2 months into the relationship' but the thing is men are a lot more faster, they went through the wedding phase, when they were professing their everlasting love for you. But are now in the divorce stage, when the spark has gone, and because we're only still in the 'everything's going great phase' we fail to notice this. The more serious relationships a guy has, I think increases the time he can endure in relationships and increases his patience, that's if the girl ticks his boxes for a potential wife.