What triggers pain? Memories. What can heal pain? Time. How can you forget pain? Move on.
Life is not all about living it in a selfish way, its too short to live it in a dark lonely room.. i think i am back on my feel and ready for that lady not looking for a perfect lady or someone trying to live a perfect life but that very girl thats ready to present herself the way she is...

biolabee:


You guys should just come out and say it as it is. - you are anti-marriage (please I mean man and woman)


Why you never admitted so before now is what I'd never understood

Hehehe I am not anti marriage at all, its just that men are always thinking of how to control their wives instead of discussing things like adults, I have never met a nigerian man that is intersted in getting married and not controlling his wife's life. They always insist on being head and having the upper hand. If marriage can be based on cooperation and not force force force, then I have no problem with it. But no, you people insist that there must be a controlling head in every marriage.

causewahala:
Your response is devoid of aggression albeit sarcastic atimes (my views). I keep asking if you're feminist cos you seem not to be exhibiting the characteristics of our typical naija feminist wey ready put gun to ur head to accept their equality! Yet your post reflect strength of character stronger than thier feminist bravado!

You're just a softie that likes to be spoken to with sugar coated words. Feminist bravado has nothing to do with this

Ok what do you thnk is a more egalitarian view of marriage if the currnt model seems to be flawed

In all companiesthere must be a leader
Should marriage be different

fellis:
Hehehe I am not anti marriage at all, its just that men are always thinking of how to control their wives instead of discussing things like adults, I have never met a nigerian man that is intersted in getting married and not controlling his wife's life. They always insist on being head and having the upper hand. If marriage can be based on cooperation and not force force force, then I have no problem with it. But no, you people insist that there must be a controlling head in every marriage.

biolabee: Ok what do you thnk is a more egalitarian view of marriage if the currnt model seems to be flawed

In all companiesthere must be a leader
Should marriage be different

There is a leader everywhere. We complain about the leadership style.

If a man likes, let him deny his wife right to eat or whatever, don't just add the Bible to it

biolabee:
In all companiesthere must be a leader
Should marriage be different

Can you show me proof that marriages based on cooperation and mutual understanding never work? Can you show me proof that a couple must live as leader and follower for their marriage to work?

fellis:
Can you show me proof that marriages based on cooperation and mutual understanding never work? Can you show me proof that a couple must live as leader and follower for their marriage to work?

I don't have proof un fortunately but you can sell the idea of your utopian marriage
What are you advocating

fellis:
You're just a softie that likes to be spoken to with sugar coated words. Feminist bravado has nothing to do with this

This girl yaff come again! What is it this time? If I were more receptive to your feminist rants, what would that make me?. . . a hard man

You brought bible here

You agree there must be a leader yet you don't acceot the man should lead the home

bukatyne:

There is a leader everywhere. We complain about the leadership style.

If a man likes, let him deny his wife right to eat or whatever, don't just add the Bible to it

Show or mention any marriage u knw wey dey based on mutual understanding nd cooperation.

fellis:
Can you show me proof that marriages based on cooperation and mutual understanding never work? Can you show me proof that a couple must live as leader and follower for their marriage to work?

I'm a Female Pls

Ablin7: I'm Ablin Doll, I have bin single for as long as I can remember, I feel very lonely everyday that it breaks ma hrt. D̶̲̥̅̊ tears I cry can't even be expressed i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ words. I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ ma tots, I just wish ma soul mate cld hear ma cry n start looking for me. D̶̲̥̅̊ most annoying part is dat, I bearly even go out. Like I spend. 24/7 @ home sumtimes without even stepping outside D̶̲̥̅̊ gate i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ weeks. Rite now, I'm S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ hurt I have gone tru bad experiences just τ̅☺ be happy but I keep telling ma slf dat, tru all D̶̲̥̅̊ pain, embarrassments, disappointments n broken promises I haven't̶̲̥̅̊ given up Faith. I hope ѱє̲̣̣̣̥ all find our soul mates soon. I glad τ̅☺ meet U̶̲̥̅̊ all beautiful dolls.


I'm a female pls

ablin7: Ablin7: I'm Ablin Doll, I have bin single for as long as I can remember, I feel very lonely everyday that it breaks ma hrt. D̶̲̥̅̊ tears I cry can't even be expressed i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ words. I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ ma tots, I just wish ma soul mate cld hear ma cry n start looking for me. D̶̲̥̅̊ most annoying part is dat, I bearly even go out. Like I spend. 24/7 @ home sumtimes without even stepping outside D̶̲̥̅̊ gate i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ weeks. Rite now, I'm S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ hurt I have gone tru bad experiences just τ̅☺ be happy but I keep telling ma slf dat, tru all D̶̲̥̅̊ pain, embarrassments, disappointments n broken promises I haven't̶̲̥̅̊ given up Faith. I hope ѱє̲̣̣̣̥ all find our soul mates soon. I glad τ̅☺ meet U̶̲̥̅̊ all beautiful dolls.


I'm a female pls

id like to have a friend like you and see where it starts reach me on talktodave47@yahoo.com. hope to read from you soon

causewahala:
This girl yaff come again! What is it this time? If I were more receptive to your feminist rants, what would that make me?. . . a hard man

Feminist rants? Wow
So am ranting?
Causewahala do you believe in gender equality?

biolabee:

I don't have proof un fortunately but you can sell the idea of your utopian marriage
What are you advocating

biola, I am really tired of repeating myself

passionate88: Show or mention any marriage u knw wey dey based on mutual understanding nd cooperation.

I don't personally know any such marriages but there are researches and studies like this and this,that show that marriages based on equality can also be successful.

fellis:
biola, I am really tired of repeating myself

ok

biolabee:

ok

haha
you really dislike disagreements don't you? That's good.
I'm not a big fan of constant argument either, its just that somethings cannot be ignored.

fellis:
haha
you really dislike disagreements don't you? That's good.
I'm not a big fan of constant argument either, its just that somethings cannot be ignored.

I love discourse which you should know by now
So do you
I have told you countlessly even on the other thread,
if you believe a theory is faulty, you have to show it is first before propounding a new way

And i used the story of flat earth. remember?


Just as you feel it is going round in circles, i feel the same way too

fellis:
I don't personally know any such marriages but there are researches and studies like this and this,that show that marriages based on equality can also be successful.

i have read your articles and i see no difference between my parents marriage and how i want my marriage to be...
still dont get what you on about

Work places are getting flatter and less hierachical, does it negate the fact that would be no MD or CEO
I dont believe in hierachical marriage but there must be a leader

Where my partner is better suited, i defer to her and the buck stops at my feet thus i am ultimately accountable
You may be responsible, I am accountable. this is from the RACI concept

Last week, a report from the Pew Research Center about what it called “the rise of wives” revived the debate. Based on a study of Census data, Pew found that in nearly a third of marriages, the wife is better educated than her husband. And though men, over all, still earn more than women, wives are now the primary breadwinner in 22 percent of couples, up from 7 percent in 1970.

“Women no longer need to marry up educationally or economically, so they are more likely to pick men who support a more egalitarian relationship,” said Stephanie Coontz, director of research and education for the Council on Contemporary Families and author of “Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/24/fashion/24marriage.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&emc=eta1

I have told you countlessly the demons you are looking for dont exist and its a matter of time from the male dominated world of 30 - 40 years ago to more equitable gender relations yet you persist in your line of thought

You called me a liar for suggesting men and women in nigeria earn the same amount yet whos the person going round in circles

But men do contribute far more than they used to. Studies show that since the 1960s, men’s contributions to housework have doubled, while the amount of time spent caring for children has tripled.

fellis:
Feminist rants? Wow
So am ranting?
Causewahala do you believe in gender equality?

Please define gender equality! Like you, I also detest repetition, I've given my reasons as to why males have an edge over females in my previous post(s)

fellis:
I don't personally know any such marriages but. . . .

I feel like having ciroc vodka right now but its no fun drinking alone, so I'll wait for ma buddy passion

biolabee: You brought bible here

You agree there must be a leader yet you don't acceot the man should lead the home

Oga, where did I say a man should not lead his home?

Take a deep breathe and read all my posts in this debate. You can also ref the black feminism tread and come back to me

bukatyne:

Oga, where did I say a man should not lead his home?

Take a deep breathe and read all my posts in this debate. You can also ref the black feminism tread and come back to me

Ok

Where 'em dolls @?
Hope no one is hurting anymore?As for me,I have moved on,and I can say I am very fine now.No more depression,selfpity e.t.c


Anybari with new situation report?

Haven't seen these dolls in a long while Missblanche,Missblessin,Auntynurse,Eimuhb,especially Joyola(and the player guy)

Cowgurl

biolabee:
i have read your articles and i see no difference between my parents marriage and how i want my marriage to be...
still dont get what you on about

Did I post that article to you? What the hell do you mean by 'you don't know what I am on about'? I posted the article to passionate because he said I should show him marriages that are based on mutual understanding and cooperation.

Work places are getting flatter and less hierachical, does it negate the fact that would be no MD or CEO

Workplaces and marriage are not the same thing. There are egalitarian marriages that have been successful. Like I said before, I am not saying there must never be a leader in the home. I said if there must be a leader then the partner with better leadership skills should lead. Why do you like making me repeat myself for heaven's sake?

I dont believe in hierachical marriage but there must be a leader

Your opinion. My opinion differs. Let me state it clearly again so you don't come here making me repeat myself again.
My personal preference is an egalitarian marriage. I did not say marriages must never have a leader. If there must be a leader however, the partner with better leadership skills should lead.

Where my partner is better suited, i defer to her and the buck stops at my feet thus i am ultimately accountable

how do you defer to her and have the buck stop at your feet at the same time? If she makes the final decisions then the buck stops at her feet, not yours.

You may be responsible, I am accountable.

Seriously, how do you write stuff like this and not see anything wrong with it? So if she is responsible for making a wrong decision about a matter or making a mistake then you are the one accountable for that mistake not her?
Oga o.

I have told you countlessly the demons you are looking for dont exist and its a matter of time from the male dominated world of 30 - 40 years ago to more equitable gender relations yet you persist in your line of thought

The demons I am looking for don't exist? Are you kidding me? Do you mean to tell me that the concept of gender equality has become universally accepted? Do you mejan to tell me that there are no men and women that reject the idea of gender equality? Feminism strives to eliminate the idea that women are inferior beings so untill there are no longer any illusions that no gender is inferior to the other then thd feminist movement will go on.

You called me a liar for suggesting men and women in nigeria earn the same amount

I never called you a liar anywhere, don't label false accusations against me. You'd better go and read that my post on that thread if you didn't understand what I said.

yet whos the person going round in circles

the article said more women were becoming breadwinners and income earners. It didn't say the issue of unequal pay has been completely eradicated.

causewahala:
Please define gender equality! Like you, I also detest repetition, I've given my reasons as to why males have an edge over females in my previous post(s)

The definition of gender equality is very broad, read here to know what it means.
Women also have an edge over men when it comes to certain issues for instance women are calmer and take time to analyse situations before reacting, they are also more compassionate. You wouldn't see women lynching innocent students and burning them (ALUU4), there are more male armed robbers and ritual killers as we see everytime on the news.
Besides, many of the behaviours we humans exhibit today is a result of conditioning. People act a certain way because they have been conditioned or trained by society that they must act in a certain way to be considered normal.
Men are conditioned to be aggresive and forceful and domineering otherwise they are not real men, women are conditioned to be soft and deferring so there you have it. If we lived in a society where women had to be strong and forceful to be considered normal then you'd see more female led lynchings and more female robbers.
You mentioned wars and how a PMSing moody woman will not be able to take part in serious battle. That statement is rubbish. Menstruation or PMS does not keep women from functioning properly. Sure their moods are affected by hormones but that is not bad enough to make them non functional. It's just hormones that can be overcome.

I feel like having ciroc vodka right now but its no fun drinking alone, so I'll wait for ma buddy passion

You obviously didn't read the article I posted to him that's why you feel like drinking ciroc.

OK... seems we understand each other

fellis:
Did I post that article to you? What the hell do you mean by 'you don't know what I am on about'? I posted the article to passionate because he said I should show him marriages that are based on mutual understanding and cooperation.


Workplaces and marriage are not the same thing. There are egalitarian marriages that have been successful. Like I said before, I am not saying there must never be a leader in the home. I said if there must be a leader then the partner with better leadership skills should lead. Why do you like making me repeat myself for heaven's sake?

Your opinion. My opinion differs. Let me state it clearly again so you don't come here making me repeat myself again.
My personal preference is an egalitarian marriage. I did not say marriages must never have a leader. If there must be a leader however, the partner with better leadership skills should lead.

how do you defer to her and have the buck stop at your feet at the same time? If she makes the final decisions then the buck stops at her feet, not yours.


Seriously, how do you write stuff like this and not see anything wrong with it? So if she is responsible for making a wrong decision about a matter or making a mistake then you are the one accountable for that mistake not her?
Oga o.


The demons I am looking for don't exist? Are you kidding me? Do you mean to tell me that the concept of gender equality has become universally accepted? Do you mejan to tell me that there are no men and women that reject the idea of gender equality? Feminism strives to eliminate the idea that women are inferior beings so untill there are no longer any illusions that no gender is inferior to the other then thd feminist movement will go on.


I never called you a liar anywhere, don't label false accusations against me. You'd better go and read that my post on that thread if you didn't understand what I said.

the article said more women were becoming breadwinners and income earners. It didn't say the issue of unequal pay has been completely eradicated.

@ fellis,

I didn’t open your links, I’ve read their likes to last me two life times.

Funny enough I don’t denigrate women, got me a female line manager @ work and I accord her all the respect due her. I do however have issues with a babe forcing me to accept her as equal.

So you think a covert operation is same thing as serious battle? Trust me, a moody being with raging hormones is worse than the enemy in covert operations. . . but make we leff mata

The debate has lost steam and Carmy wants her thread back. . .

I had fun!

Been a while I have been here....