Mmmm. Thank u, kind sir. May i be bold enough to introduce meself? I am. The one. The only. White mosquito

valicious1:
Dats really, really, really really
embarassing. Now here are my tips for
u.
1) always be very careful when u're
menstrating.
2) always make use of sanitary pads
instead of tissue paper (toilet roll)
anytime u're seeing ur period.
3) in your own case, never ever put on
white trousers/skirt wenever u're
menstruating
4) always "check" constantly whenever
u're menstruating
5) again, be very careful & watchful
when menstruating

It happened awhile ago, I and my female cousin are always getting intimate and out of sheer carelessness and stupidity we eventually start making love anytime we are sex urgy. Unfortunately for us, the immediate brother smelt the foul, he was sitting on a chair watching us in the dark while we doing that thing, lo and behold, he just switched on a heavy lamp right in front of us and uttered ''welldone (eku ise)"...... My thingy got flaccid immediately..

yuzedo:
LMAO! What a vo'yeur!



@OP: My church said we should do seven (7) days fasting and prayer but on the seventh day, while we were praying fervently inside the church, i vomited Pounded Yam, Egusi Soup & Goat Meat with Fanta...
................ I am in a new church now.

LWKMD!

white mosquito: Oh yes! Dis one takes the cake! Just last wk, took a bus on my way to an interview. Sat down at the rear end of the last seat, then dis rough looking fellow hurries to sit next to me,ignoring all the other available seats. Im nonplussed, but decide to mind my biz. Halfway into d journey dis guy starts makin suspicious movements, like adjusting his sittin position to face me. I shrug it off cos iv more imp things on my mind like d interview. A few mins later, i notice dat his hands wer in his fly and he had shut his eyes as if in rapture. So im like WTF? I turn my head immediately and face the window and then he says 'busstop'! As he comes down i notice that his trouser is soaked wit whitish liquid like melted icecream. He sees me noticing and gives me a grateful smile and a wink! Imagine! I almost puked!

oh my gosh!

AB$I:
i was peeping on my neighbours doing it,and was spotted by their son and anoda co tenant who reported d discovery to the couple. they came and made hell for me infront of my fiancee then/wifey now.

lol
U just reminded me of what happened to me back then too.I was peeping my uncle and his girlfriend and I was so carried away that my head started touching the door, my uncle suddenly opened the door and saw me standing infront of the door. Bros, shame wan kill me that day. That guy abuse me tire no be small. I was telling his wife recently.

Can't even remember da most embarassing one,but recently am anchoring a fellowship meeting,as suppose Ast.bible study cordinator,i get be bible guru,but since i didnt prepare 4da topic at hand,i heard myself sayin to pple that holiness dey fruit of da spirit.wat i got was a loud laugh frm pple wit'sister holiness is nt a fruit of da spirit'i felt lik makin evrybody ther develop amnesia and 4get i just said that.

mine was a couple of years back, i was in the market wen my skirt unhooked and dropped to my ankles, i sharply pulled it up dat very second and continue walking leaving behind a trail of laughter

Years back when I just got a BQ during my undergraduate days, I had a friend who stole his mums car to school for about 3 days n we were all together trying to form big boys in school with 2 other friends. The guy didn't tell us he stole the car. This very night we decided to buy spirit with some sticks of ciggy n we were feeling cool n alright till we heard a knock on d door. Lo n behold it was d guys mum n his elder brother that stepped into d room that was reeking of alcohol n ciggy smoke. immediately I saw her I jumped on d bed n started forming sleeping, d funny thing was that his mum now faced me n started tapping me to wake up that she saw me jump on d bed. I no gree stand up o n his silly bro kept calling my name, so I angrily stood up(slightly high) n gave them a piece of my mind. She sha made sure her son left wit all his belongings n she left me wit that very proverb "show me ur friend n I will tell u who u are". Since then I never honoured invitations he gave me to any event his family has. I no go like meet d mama one on one.

mrscolite: [b][/b]

I don't know what hype you are on,quoting everyone like you dun lost your mind...but next time you decide to quote me make sure you connect your brain to your thumbs better still DON'T QUOTE ME!

U don't have to blame her too much. U can imagine Farouk Lawal steal over 600mUSD and the Police pension thief stole N23.3b. If all these monies were used to build industries, improve the PHCN etc thereby creating employment, this FEMALE MOSQUITO wouldn't have been quoting everybody.its as a result of Joblessness caused by the govt. Just bear with her.

Buhahahahahaha

komek:
U don't have to blame her too much. U can imagine Farouk Lawal steal over 600mUSD and the Police pension thief stole N23.3b. If all these monies were used to build industries, improve the PHCN etc thereby creating employment, this FEMALE MOSQUITO wouldn't have been quoting everybody.its as a result of Joblessness caused by the govt. Just bear with her.

timpaker: 1. The day I was walking with my then girlfriend (in 2002) at the Store, when blood started dripping off her panties staining the tiles on the floor, I almost turned invincible.
2. While on the queue one day my Di.c.k got erected in the banking hall for no reason

ur dick don see wetin u no fit see.
Lol

My uncle pity me cos I haven't enter aeroplane before so he booked 2 tickets for us going from lagos - owerri. Passengers have already seated and it was all quiet inside the plane. So I saw dis fineee girl sitting at the window side of 3. I quickly sat down next to her before my uncle will do. With fear I no know wetin I go talk again with shock , I asked her, ITS LIKE YOU WILL STOP AT ONITSHA. Every body started laughing. I started pinging and begging my uncle sitting next to me if we can go down of the plane cos I no wan go again.

timpaker: 1. The day I was walking with my then girlfriend (in 2002) at the Store, when blood started dripping off her panties staining the tiles on the floor, I almost turned invincible.
2. While on the queue one day my Di.c.k got erected in the banking hall for no reason

hahahaha!!! Guy ur own worse pass

Austin G: Mine happened few months back, had to go on an emmergency trip, didnt prepare for it at all, i got to da airport, wanted to take a flight from Lagos to Abuja, when it got to my turn to check in, i totally forgot they ask people to remove shoes for the shoes to be scanned, and my black socks then had 3 holes and my 3 toes were out, have been wanting to get more black socks but procrastination wont let me, just kept forgetting... so that day, my heart-beat skipped when i was asked to take off my shoes, the picture of my 3 toes just flashed before my eyes and i was facing people that have checked in, See crowd, see my 3 toes saying hello.. hehehe i just ran to the other end and collected my shoe, wore it sharp sharp.. wanted to faint but i couldnt go unconscious.. i just gave myself a consolation smile, i started looking for someone i can give explanation that i have been forgetting to change my socks but no one seemed interested.. just sat down and started pressing rubbish on my phone..

hahahahaha

Austin G: Mine happened few months back, had to go on an emmergency trip, didnt prepare for it at all, i got to da airport, wanted to take a flight from Lagos to Abuja, when it got to my turn to check in, i totally forgot they ask people to remove shoes for the shoes to be scanned, and my black socks then had 3 holes and my 3 toes were out, have been wanting to get more black socks but procrastination wont let me, just kept forgetting... so that day, my heart-beat skipped when i was asked to take off my shoes, the picture of my 3 toes just flashed before my eyes and i was facing people that have checked in, See crowd, see my 3 toes saying hello.. hehehe i just ran to the other end and collected my shoe, wore it sharp sharp.. wanted to faint but i couldnt go unconscious.. i just gave myself a consolation smile, i started looking for someone i can give explanation that i have been forgetting to change my socks but no one seemed interested.. just sat down and started pressing rubbish on my phone..

hahahahaha

labamo07: It happened awhile ago, I and my female cousin are always getting intimate and out of sheer carelessness and stupidity we eventually start making love anytime we are sex urgy. Unfortunately for us, the immediate brother smelt the foul, he was sitting on a chair watching us in the dark while we doing that thing, lo and behold, he just switched on a heavy lamp right in front of us and uttered ''welldone (eku ise)"...... My thingy got flaccid immediately..

i just wonder why this abominable act of cousins experimenting with sex is so rampant these days

emilyone:

i just wonder why this abominable act of cousins experimenting with sex is so rampant these days

Can you imagine? They are not even discrete about it any longer, what a shame!

I was walking on the street one day with my boyfriend and suddenly a mad man who must have been mad for years judging from his appearance approached me and said 'hello baby', i was dumbfounded. i moved and he followed me, gave me a grin and turned back. my guy was helpless he could not even intervene. he later started teasing me that i am so pretty that even a mad man could notice.

ngoziliz: I was walking on the street one day with my boyfriend and suddenly a mad man who must have been mad for years judging from his appearance approached me and said 'hello baby', i was dumbfounded. i moved and he followed me, gave me a grin and turned back. my guy was helpless he could not even intervene. he later started teasing me that i am so pretty that even a mad man could notice.

eeya... free slap jst like that!... eeya

braxjay: i was in JSS2, usually when your seniors enter everyone stands up to greet.
3 girls (seniors) entered the class and as usual we greeted but they kept us standing cos they were looking for some guy who insulted them the previous day.
one was by the door and the other 2 walking around and searching.
unfortunately my class mate made a statement behind me and without asking who said it i received a resounding slap ( those kind of slaps that gives long echo sound in your ear), good enuf the one at the door saw i was silent and also knew the guy who said it. but immediately i was vindicated, that was when the eyes became teary especially when they said fine boy sorry. the embarrassment part was when i immediately took an excuse to use the gents and one said " Eaya he wants to go and cry" my class laughed madt. i didn't return to class for the rest of the day

ferhyntorlah:

Kai! I want to imagine your instant reaction when the man turned to see the person rubbing his head.

Hehehehehehehehe..

I nearly die out of shame, to make matters worst, when I met my friend later he just started laughing and rolling on the floor before I told him what happened in his house earlier.

ferhyntorlah:

Kai! I want to imagine your instant reaction when the man turned to see the person rubbing his head.

Hehehehehehehehe..

I nearly died of shame, to make matters worst, when I met my friend later he just started laughing and rolling on the floor before I told him what happened in his house earlier.

I dodged him for weeks and one day I ran into him and he was like stop running away.

dejijohns:
am sure dat man ll stil b beefin U 4touchery&rubbery. Funniest...

baybiemee: mine was a couple of years back, i was in the market wen my skirt unhooked and dropped to my ankles, i sharply pulled it up dat very second and continue walking leaving behind a trail of laughter

yyyyeeeppaaa!!!:Di hope say u no wear G-string hahahaha...

labamo07: It happened awhile ago, I and my female cousin are always getting intimate and out of sheer carelessness and stupidity we eventually start making love anytime we are sex urgy. Unfortunately for us, the immediate brother smelt the foul, he was sitting on a chair watching us in the dark while we doing that thing, lo and behold, he just switched on a heavy lamp right in front of us and uttered ''welldone (eku ise)"...... My thingy got flaccid immediately..

dat is not embarrasing,it is sick

akbtunes: eeya... free slap jst like that!... eeya

no be small thing o

white mosquito: WHO THE F Is dis Hediot?!

Your father, mind your lingi son or u won't drink Garri in my house..

Mine goes like this. One afternoon, i was haven fun with a neighbours daughter in my room, when suddenly i heard a knock on the door. I hesitated asking who was there. D knock persisted without any response, so i left her on the bed, and in my boxers with a sweaty body i went to the door. When i opened, it was her mother staring at me as though i was guilty of murder. She asked me if her daughter was in my room and i said no, dat i had never seen her dat day, then suddenly, she looked down and saw her daughters foot wear. I was electrocuted to the bone marrows. Then she bent over and collected d foot wears and left. The funny thing was dat, my friends and other neighbours were just watching, and after few minutes, the girl came out bare footed with her hear shabby. Kai, dat day i felt like i should remain indoors for the rest of my life. I later found out who the snitch was.

boborosky: Mine goes like this. One afternoon, i was haven fun with a neighbours daughter in my room, when suddenly i heard a knock on the door. I hesitated asking who was there. D knock persisted without any response, so i left her on the bed, and in my boxers with a sweaty body i went to the door. When i opened, it was her mother staring at me as though i was guilty of murder. She asked me if her daughter was in my room and i said no, dat i had never seen her dat day, then suddenly, she looked down and saw her daughters foot wear. I was electrocuted to the bone marrows. Then she bent over and collected d foot wears and left. The funny thing was dat, my friends and other neighbours were just watching, and after few minutes, the girl came out bare footed with her hear shabby. Kai, dat day i felt like i should remain indoors for the rest of my life. I later found out who the snitch was.

Kai! So what happened, did you and the woman ever get along?

so many years ago i was travelin to benin so i went to ojota to get a bus. this period of time ojota was still rough. i got there na so one smal lookin guy jus come say make i enta him bus i shouted in an insultin way i said no the guy said i should enter na so this guy pursue me na him i run enter anoda bus wey dey go uyo. na i beg the guy wey get the bus say make he lock the bus. my people na inside uyo bus i dey sote sote sote i was in the bus waitin for the guy to go. i was more scared than embarassed wen i actuali now saw the ppl weRe scared of the guy.

yuzedo:

@OP: My church said we should do seven (7) days fasting and prayer but on the seventh day, while we were praying fervently inside the church, i vomited Pounded Yam, Egusi Soup & Goat Meat with Fanta...
................ I am in a new church now.

Hahahaha. I love the way you lie.

Ampeaceful:
yyyyeeeppaaa!!!:Di hope say u no wear G-string hahahaha...

Lmao was it your mother's skirt you wore..?