As the head of the home, the man's responsibility is to provide for his family in every way, and protect them. His job does NOT include doing any kitchen chores or other house work. Forget what you watch on foreign movies. Sissy men don't exist in Africa (or at least they're in the minority).

But I don't see any reason why a loving husband shouldn't help out his wife sometimes. In my case, I try to help with the dishes or other chores when I notice that my wife's stressed out. Sometimes, all she asks for is just my company in the kitchen. I don't have to do anything, just sit and gist with my lovely wife while she preps a meal.

2buff:

So why have you malignantly decided to hound this issue out for this long?
Has the bulk of my argument not been IF YOU BOTH WORK, HELP OUT? Stay on one side of the post and stop jumping about.

The truth is the very thought of you doing things in your matrimonial home has such an irksome effect on you that your immediate reflex reaction is to counter and renounce it hands-down without even applying any fore-thought or analyzing the promptings towards why the notion was maade. Most qualified Psychologists call this phenomenon "Laziness".

2buff leave me alone na, Abi them send you come?

ocelot2006: As the head of the home, the man's responsibility is to provide for his family in every way, and protect them. His job does NOT include doing any kitchen chores or other house work. Forget what you watch on foreign movies. Sissy men don't exist in Africa (or at least they're in the minority).

But I don't see any reason why a loving husband shouldn't help out his wife sometimes. In my case, I try to help with the dishes or other chores when I notice that my wife's stressed out. Sometimes, all she asks for is just my company in the kitchen. I don't have to do anything, just sit and gist with my lovely wife while she preps a meal.

That is all you need.

ocelot2006: As the head of the home, the man's responsibility is to provide for his family in every way, and protect them. His job does NOT include doing any kitchen chores or other house work. Forget what you watch on foreign movies. Sissy men don't exist in Africa (or at least they're in the minority).

But I don't see any reason why a loving husband shouldn't help out his wife sometimes. In my case, I try to help with the dishes or other chores when I notice that my wife's stressed out. Sometimes, all she asks for is just my company in the kitchen. I don't have to do anything, just sit and gist with my lovely wife while she preps a meal.

guy u are talking of naija where there are no prevailing laws supportive of women. Even for Yankee sef e no go happen. Lai lai. Naija matter is totally out of the point for me, way back as an undergrad student girls had already started cooking for me and doing my chores and laundry talk least of when she has kids for me. Na wa for all these puppies called men these days

sleekman:

Who said that? No way I didn't. Infact I used to have a white babe and she knew d African way. She was/is way better than our 9ja babes but dont come here with that western bullshit. You love kiwi polish lions don't you? I'm sure u know the difference btw a kiwi lion and a domesticated cat

So because me and my husband have an agreement in our marriage, tells you I am coming with western bullsh*t?
Grow up, dude.

And what the hell is going on with your comparison to fruits and animals? My husband is a human, a damn fine one as well.

JallowBah:

I would rather have my husband more at home and have less money, than him working his a*s off and not having much time with his family.

So that later you can call him a useless man, your mates are making money and you are here siting down with me. Abeg be a honest woman and stop this nonsense forming naija woman dey do these days. We men know una.

Boss13:

So that later you can call him a useless man, your mates are making money and you are here siting down with me. Abeg be a honest woman and stop this nonsense forming naija woman dey do these days. We men know una.

...why would I talk to him like that? I am a grown woman, I can stand up for the choices I make in life.

African men abeg don't fall for this gimmicks. This is not us. Our women have watched too much Kim kardarhian, and it is disturbing their brains. As a matter of fact, I want that program banned on tv. These days the things I hear from Africa women baffles me and scares the damn out of me. 21st century African women are nothing to write home about. Our mothers are better than our wives (well I am not married dont know if I will) and what will our daughter be? If women would build our society begin to act like Kim kardarhian. Jesus we need your help.

JallowBah:

...why would I talk to him like that? I am a grown woman, I can stand up for the choices I make in life.

It is your choice. Afterall the most potent weapon of a woman is her tongue. However, let a man be a man. Do not dictate for him. Even if he pleases you now, in the future he will despise you.

Boss13:

It is your choice. Afterall the most potent weapon of a woman is her tongue. However, let a man be a man. Do not dictate for him. Even if he pleases you now, in the future he will despise you.

Where does it say that I dictate him?
You really think that just because he do as much as me around the house means I must be dictating him..? He is a grown man, the only one he should take "commands" from is his boss.
In a relationship, you don`t command. You say how you feel, how you would like it to be, and if your partner disagree, you make a compromise, so both can be happy. And sometimes, you do extra for your spouse, just to make him/her happy.

JallowBah:

Where does it say that I dictate him?
You really think that just because he do as much as me around the house means I must be dictating him..? He is a grown man, the only one he should take "commands" from is his boss.
In a relationship, you don`t command. You say how you feel, how you would like it to be, and if your partner disagree, you make a compromise, so both can be happy. And sometimes, you do extra for your spouse, just to make him/her happy.

Give it a rest sista.
Such concepts are as far away from them as nuclear physics is to a cave man.
They can never understand.

sleekman:

Because one mumu kiwi polish is shining your ur white kitten wanting to kollect kpali now makes you a master and think tank on 9ja affairs? Hmmm *singing Femi Kuti*I sorry sorry O...

And what called for the insults you just posted? Is this the quality of a real man?

sleekman: A time is coming when women will seek husbands but wont see due to this feminism craze. Real men don't bend for shit. I believe its called sambo in Swedish whereby a man and woman play husband and wife but not recognized by the law. Although they become recognized after 10yrs of being together. Women dont forget lionesses takes care of their cubs alone and the Lions do nothing. You're driving men to that point. When that point comes you'll crave a loving man but you'll see non. Only hit and run men. I believe the new term is called 'baby mamas'. Winch wan chop broomstick think say na chewing stick. Mtchewwwwwwww.

What Feminism craze?

bukatyne: What Feminism craze?

...that women want men to help around the house. And that women wishes to work and make their own money as well.
Just guessing, though.

Michky: @Jallowbah. Many women pray for a balance of wealth and husband availability. Sadly, many have to choose these days. We all know how valuable love can be to individual lives. True. But choosing love over money is an absolute mistake. ERROR! I say this because i know much more than a lot about this world we live in. Please don't ever again wish for love in place of wealth.

Back to the topic. We all remember the stories in the bible that had slaves in it. Don't we? In the homes of wealthy families, slaves did the chores. Not the Kings! Not the Noble Men! Yes, things are changing these days but take it or leave it, slavery is not gone. Its only been modernized. Now, will it be wrong to utilize the service of a slave to do these dirty things instead of we the busy hard working men?

Think! Think!!

By this your logic, women are also not supposed to do chores because the 'slaves' did it.Remember that Abraham with millions of slaves still served his visitors food; the first Deacons(People who served food and other items in the church) in the Bible were all men. Jesus Christ washed the feet of His disciples and cooked for them after his resurrection. Don't misquote the Bible to suit your stand.

2buff:

Give it a rest sista.
Such concepts are as far away from them as nuclear physics is to a cave man.
They can never understand.

Canadian woman wrapper

JallowBah:

...that women want men to help around the house. And that women wishes to work and make their own money as well.
Just guessing, though.

Ok. Can you tell me what is wrong in a man helping his wife around the house and a woman working to earn her own money?

ocelot2006: As the head of the home, the man's responsibility is to provide for his family in every way, and protect them. His job does NOT include doing any kitchen chores or other house work. Forget what you watch on foreign movies. Sissy men don't exist in Africa (or at least they're in the minority).

But I don't see any reason why a loving husband shouldn't help out his wife sometimes. In my case, I try to help with the dishes or other chores when I notice that my wife's stressed out. Sometimes, all she asks for is just my company in the kitchen. I don't have to do anything, just sit and gist with my lovely wife while she preps a meal.

by your post, you just called yourself a sissy.

bukatyne: Ok. Can you tell me what is wrong in a man helping his wife around the house and a woman working to earn her own money?

You didn`t understand that one I was guessing what sleekman means with "feminism craze".

Edit: wrong nick. Lol.

i am only here to laugh

2buff:

Give it a rest sista.
Such concepts are as far away from them as nuclear physics is to a cave man.
They can never understand.

Too damn funny

bukatyne: Ok. Can you tell me what is wrong in a man helping his wife around the house and a woman working to earn her own money?

slow cognitive reasoning, two allies conflicting each other

.

I opened a thread on why the faith of some Nigerian christian men never have positive impact on their marriages and they are yet to say why. The problem with issues like this is that
A typical Nigerian man
1.Doesn't know what it means to love his wife. He equates giving her shelter and food to love. he is quick to say 'submit' but is not capable of showing his wife love. Now what is love? In 1st Corin 13: 1 - 13, Paul listed the characteristics of love. He made us realize that you can give or sacrifice without love. You can work miracles without love. you can heal the sick without love.
love is Patient, Kind, Polite, not boastful, not jealous, never keeps grudges, never rejoices in wrong, is happy when the truth wins, endures all things, never loses faith, never loses hope, never demands its own way and is not easily irritated.

2. Has a subconscious belief that his wife and women in general is inferior to him. If your friend asks him to help in chores, wouldn't you? They can't grasp the concept of their wives been equal with them because they translate it to her having the 'privilege' to boss them and be rude like they do. Most husbands deep in them know they can't accept the treatment they mete out to their wives and are always wary when they hear their wives are equal.

3. Do not believe in leadership by example: most men are quick to quote Eph 5:25 'A man is the head of his home as Christ is the head of His church'. Now, this is true but what does head mean? The source. Ideally, a man decides he wants to build a family and looks for a wife just how Christ looked for us (the church). however, they conveniently forget that Jesus said 'He did not come to be served BUT to serve ...'. They forget that Jesus they are to emulate bent down to wash the feet of his disciples, cooked for them, poured out his life in love as a sacrifice for sins He didn't commit. He intercedes for us and is always showing us His love and giving us chances to repent.

4. They believe the Fruit of the Holy Spirit (love, joy, peace, kindness, tolerance, self control, meekness, faith and hope) are for women only. How many men are really humble towards their wives? It's said Patience is a virtue but I'm sure the 'for women only' part was lost through the ages. They believe that submission makes their wives beneath them forgetting that it's a balance for the love they have for their wives. Jesus Christ their role model in headship was humble to the point of a shameful death yet they will not learn humility.

5. They believe it's a woman's job to build the home by enduring all the crap he gives: Afterall, a thousand and one woman is begging to be Mrs. X so if the current Mrs. X 'misbehaves', just kick her to the curb and pick wifey two. They don't realize that as the head, the success of their home lies solely in their hands. Does the proprietor of a school question the students or lecturers why the school coffers are empty? He holds the Principal accountable because he was made an overseer of the school. He will lazy around, He will do everything in his power to make the school succeed. TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS EXPECTED.

This lengthy post is not to condemn such men as portrayed above but show them where they are erring for them to improve. There is no perfect person; there is always room for improvement.

dick hardener: slow cognitive reasoning, two allies conflicting each other

Was this really called for?

JallowBah:

You didn`t understand that one I was guessing what sleekman means with "feminism craze".

Edit: wrong nick. Lol.

Sorry JallowBah, I thought you were sleekman. When I realized, I was already typing my next post.

2buff:

Give it a rest sista.
Such concepts are as far away from them as nuclear physics is to a cave man.
They can never understand.

smh....you have what I'll classify as a delusion of grandeur....peeps like you end up as a woman beater.

I don`t consider myself a christian, but you make very good points, bukatyne.

Truckpusher: smh....you have what I'll classify as a delusion of grandeur....peeps like you end up as a woman beater.

And how did you arrive at this conclusion?

JallowBah: I don`t consider myself a christian, but you make very good points, bukatyne.

And why don't you consider yourself a Christian?

OP Nothing thats why its better women marry their fellow women

dayokanu: OP Nothing thats why its better women marry their fellow women

Dayokanu!

bukatyne: And why don't you consider yourself a Christian?

That is a whole different topic If you wish to talk about that one, you can e-mail me.