My prince bobo is going to be 1 in March.Yaaay .I thank God for His mercy and Grace upon my family though i wish he could remain a baby a lil while more .

Anyways i created this thread for opinions on how to be diplomatic.My kids are my mums first grandkids and being a grandma is really really 'sharking' her so to speak.She was unable to be here for my daughter 1st birthday and also her naming so with my son she seems to want to always over conpensate for her absence.

I am(and hubby as well)not really a party person.I take after my Dad in that regard and always want to keep things as simple as possible.For my daughter 1st birthday we had a small parlour party with a few friends and her cousins.She also took another cake to church on Sunday and we had loads and loads of pictures.To me thats what 1st birthdays are about ,memories cos 1 yr old dont even know whats happening.Each to his own though but thats my belief.The only thing i dont like is when kids parties are taken over by the adults so when my daughter is 5 we will tailor it to her interests at the time and not mine.
Anyway intend to do the exact same thing for bobo.

The issue is my mum is having none of it.I have told her mummy its march we cant use the garden might still be cold and i am NOT getting a hall.She has started mobilising her london crew .Same way she did at his naming.We wanted pastor name the boy,people eat and chill ,bye.Before we knew it Mrs Kini was bringing pepper soup,Iya Lagbaja Ewa Agoin,Mama Tamedu Yam Pottage (with colour coded Gele to boot i know it was no coincidence they were all in Blue Gele),we had a full blown party on our hands.Hubby was not too impressed but sha endured it cos of me.

Now i can feel it brewing in the air again,i told her Mum pls i am not in the mood i dont have the strength.She was like dont worry you dont need to do anything.Next i said ok we dont have money(a lie to dissuade her).She was like you just get cake.*sighs*And hubby is still in the dark.My sister said she has started buying souvenirs and has made three diff natives for them.Bless her.

I would rather do something small and have her put whatever she wants to spend in his ISA or trust fund acct(those are what matter to me and hubby).Hubby already has the notion that my family like party too much(kinda true ) but i really really do not believe in Extravagant and adultish 1st birthdays.How do i keep mummy happy and not too offended and STILL not have an OTT 1st birthday party?

She thinks am now thinking like oyinbo and most of my family think am being tight(dont care though).But seriously my family can like party i wonder how i am different .You should have seen arguments pre my wedding.In the end i just gave up.We used Halls A and B at Unilag Multi Purpose Hall and we still had guests who stood .It was hen something else.My mum had 80 of her friends wearing the same Aso Ebi and believe me like 20 are here who are waiting in the shadows*shudders*.

Pls my NL people abeg how i prevent this disaster waiting to happen?

Lol @ Damiso, honestly I like you. wow it's opposite for me, na my in laws the owanbe kind and I will just let them have their way as long as they cleanup and hubby takes care of that. Everything has to be grand the thing tire me sef. , it's not a battle worth a fight so I'd indulge them for that.

As per bobo's 1st birthday, my MIL said 1st bday is family celebration, we had ALL adults too, it's a celebration of joy for grandmas so I'd say let her do her thing. E easy?
It's even better to get a hall, so you don't have to clean up.
Which one be OTT? And please kiss that little guy for me and happy birthday in advance. don't sweat it abeg

dami there is nuthing u can do with a determined parent who has done such for other people ala wedding, naming n co

since location and remoteness seems not be an hindrance then you have to go with the flow

involve hubby and try as much as possible to set out ur terms and conditions

If them wan spend the money, make dem no vx if u no add una own


You can push it till 5 sha.. if u want or beg them to use any money for college fund (college no be beanz)

jidegirl12: Lol @ Damiso, honestly I like you. wow it's opposite for me, na my in laws the owanbe kind and I will just let them have their way as long as they cleanup and hubby takes care of that. Everything has to be grand the thing tire me sef. , it's not a battle worth a fight so I'd indulge them for that.

As per bobo's 1st birthday, my MIL said 1st bday is family celebration, we had ALL adults too, it's a celebration of joy for grandmas so I'd say let her do her thing. E easy?
It's even better to get a hall, so you don't have to clean up.
Which one be OTT? And please kiss that little guy for me and happy birthday in advance. don't sweat it abeg

+1000. Thank your lucky stars you are not married to an O like me o, dem loff like say dem go die if dem no party, na any excuse.

Very many happy returns to the lil' prince too

biolabee: dami there is nuthing u can do with a determined parent who has done such for other people ala wedding, naming n co

since location and remoteness seems not be an hindrance then you have to go with the flow

involve hubby and try as much as possible to set out ur terms and conditions

If them wan spend the money, make dem no vx if u no add una own


You can push it till 5 sha.. if u want or beg them to use any money for college fund (college no be beanz)

Terms and conditions for this kain pipu?! . Bros, na after the party begin na hin u go sabi say all your T&C na pure and complete waste of time.

naijababe:

Terms and conditions for this kain pipu?! . Bros, na after the party begin na hin u go sabi say all your T&C na pure and complete waste of time.

Sis terms and conditions dont work for this kain pipu o. .Everything just turns into a party one way or the other.E tire me o.

Thanks everyone for the best wishes o.May we all reap the fruit of our love on our Kids by His Grace.

@CC believe me what hubby wants is take pictures for the boy at Studio and tell him that was you on your First Birthday .Its maybe the small DNA in me that makes him say ok small party and he goes along with me.I absolutely HATE cleaning up after parties and the reason he was not too happy after the naming was that HE had to do the cleaning cos i just had a baby and was weak and he sha cant be letting mummy clean when he is home.So yeah we are on the same page.Maybe il push the blame to him they have kuku accepted that he is oloyinbo.
@Jidegirl once i agree to Hall, e don turn jamboree.OTT is over the top.
@Biolabee e be like say i have to go to Naija for her to get her proper hearts desire.

You are neither tight nor stingy - I hope our people will be delivered from this owambe spirit soon.

Tell hubby as soon as possible - and tell him how you're feeling about it so he's carried along.

If you don't want it, say NO - don't say we want 'small' cos it'll snowball and they'll even deliver your own made to measure aso-ebi plus blue gele to you on the day.

If I was the husband and I wanted NO party, I'd be pissed off if someone arranged party and 'surprised' me on the day - I very much dislike surprises like that, especially when I've made my view clear.

If grandma is desperate for a parry, take bomboy to naija in the summer and let her parry away with her owambe crew.

@OP

Is your mom from ijebu or Isale eko

Sorry, I'm with your mom on this one. Nothing wrong in partying and inviting friends over to celebrate.

Infact, it means your family is well loved and liked. Hence the reason why they can pull so much crowd.

ISA ko, offshore fund ni. Not with the yeye interest rates UK banks are giving

Please, let her party and rejoice.

As CC said all these Grandmas are the same.When i tell my mum must you buy aso ebi?No joke the woman has a whole wardrobe filled with aso oke and gele.If you say Mummy you have green gele,she says what shade?If you say Olive green,she has like 4.Its ridiculous Unfortunately me and my sis are not Owambe ish so she has started reducing it cos no one will wear with when she is through with them.
TBH to me its a waste of money.When i even tell her mummy me am not buying gele cos i know you have 2 of that colour,she says Ko Ni Da o(it wont be nice) hen we and Mama Lagbaja are too close for that .My sister tells me the prices for the 'package' go for as much 120k now cos its my Sis friends that are now getting married.

I just dont get it even though i grew up with it.

funkybaby: @OP

Is your mom from ijebu or Isale eko

Sorry, I'm with your mom on this one. Nothing wrong in partying and inviting friends over to celebrate.

Infact, it means your family is well loved and liked. Hence the reason why they can pull so much crowd.

ISA ko, offshore fund ni. Not with the yeye interest rates UK banks are giving

Please, let her party and rejoice.

She is Ijebu .I am.3/4 ijebu and 1/4 isale eko.My mum is full ijebu.And my paternal grandma too is ijebu.Only my paternal grandpa is from Lagos Island.I wonder how the gene skipped me .Just joking my dad too disliked parties but he just went along with mummy for peace.

Loool, funny thing is my mum is opposite and I have a feeling I would be like your mum. That is her first grandson for God's sake. I would do anything for my grandchildren. I am a reserved person funny enough, but I have got a serious party side. Funny thing too, I don't like big parties, but I tend to over do it when it comes to my loved ones. This made post made me stop and think about my past attitude though. I now see it may be a bit too much. But what's the harm in something that is osho free? Will never turn it down sha.

The upside of this is shebi its just cake that is your contribution, you will get correct money which is always a plus, and baby will be asleep through all the noise anyway.

My proposal, have a garden, child event place or house party for him from 12-4. Then let the owambe start at 5pm or later. At least he gets to party with his own friends, and you guys just get to enjoy yourselves drama free while making some money. Win-win situation. I don't see any problem with this. Relax and let mama flex with her friends. Am sure they all do it.

chaircover:

LOL some people nearly died when I refused a birthday party and jetted off to Dubai with my husband for a week of . . . . .

Some people had already started talking about colour schemes and venues 6 momths before . .Me Ke!!! Party!!!! No party would have been as sweet as that one week I had away . . .abi no be to eat jollor rice and aya mase and to dance to Mr Solek ni and spray $1 bills?

Thanks but no thanks

CC that is soooo me.A nice vacation away with hubby beats any rubbish owambe for me anyday anytime.Its such stress.Gosh.

My mum always says o ti ronu bi oyinbo(you are thinking like oyinbo)but i keep telling her even if i lived in Nigeria i would not like owambe stress.

chaircover:

LOL some people nearly died when I refused a birthday party and jetted off to Dubai with my husband for a week of . . . . .

Hehehe. . . .just tell them you're going to make more grandkids for them.

Some people had already started talking about colour schemes and venues 6 momths before . .Me Ke!!! Party!!!! No party would have been as sweet as that one week I had away . . .abi no be to eat jollor rice and aya mase and to dance to Mr Solek ni and spray $1 bills?

Thanks but no thanks

I thank God for my quiet existence. . . . you won't even know I was born on any particular day sef.

damiso:
CC that is soooo me.A nice vacation away with hubby beats any rubbish owambe for me anyday anytime.Its such stress.Gosh.

My mum always says o ti ronu bi oyinbo(you are thinking like oyinbo)but i keep telling her even if i lived in Nigeria i would not like owambe stress.

Haaa! If she was raised in Lagos island then I understand. We can like to party ehn? I remember those days na, my grandparents house. Party can just break out in the middle of the street. . Those people are the craziest people, na dem get owambe o. And they owambe hop too. From one owambe to the other. Owambe could be happening in almost every street.

baby_123: Loool, funny thing is my mum is opposite and I have a feeling I would be like your mum. That is her first grandson for God's sake. I would do anything for my grandchildren. I am a reserved person funny enough, but I have got a serious party side. Funny thing too, I don't like big parties, but I tend to over do it when it comes to my loved ones. This made post made me stop and think about my past attitude though. I now see it may be a bit too much. But what's the harm in something that is osho free? Will never turn it down sha.

The upside of this is shebi its just cake that is your contribution, you will get correct money which is always a plus, and baby will be asleep through all the noise anyway.

My proposal, have a garden, child event place or house party for him from 12-4. Then let the owambe start at 5pm or later. At least he gets to party with his own friends, and you guys just get to enjoy yourselves drama free while making some money. Win-win situation. I don't see any problem with this. Relax and let mama flex with her friends. Am sure they all do it.

But i know for a FACT that my husband even though he has a poker face will be fuming inside .He absolutely hates owambe parties except he is there for the kids one and vamooses after.

I am leaning towards insisting on no party here but taking the kids to Naija in september.Then my daughter will be 4.Funny enough i had them on the same date (19th) so we can do 4 and 1 and a half.Ooops forgot school resumes in September .Maybe August then.

damiso:

She is Ijebu .I am.3/4 ijebu and 1/4 isale eko.My mum is full ijebu.And my paternal grandma too is ijebu.Only my paternal grandpa is from Lagos Island.I wonder how the gene skipped me .Just joking my dad too disliked parties but he just went along with mummy for peace.

Hahaha. You are expecting an ijebu woman not to parry? you must be having a laugh !!

With the ijebus, everything is a reason for celebration..... the more the merrier !

baby_123:
My proposal, have a garden, child event place or house party for him from 12-4. Then let the owambe start at 5pm or later. At least he gets to party with his own friends, and you guys just get to enjoy yourselves drama free while making some money. Win-win situation. I don't see any problem with this. Relax and let mama flex with her friends. Am sure they all do it.

Spot on !!!
Damiso, copy that! Listen and obey.
Thread closed !

@Funky and Baby,which kain 'friend'does bobo have? >:

Lets just call it Grandmas party cos as far as i know most 1yr olds cry and are miserably cranky at such parties.Not even this one that likes following me around like a tail.

damiso: @Funky and Baby,which kain 'friend'does bobo have? >:

Lets just call it Grandmas party cos as far as i know most 1yr olds cry and are miserably cranky at such parties.Not even this one that likes following me around like a tail.

Both of you will end up in your room sucking and all cranky , yelling for people to close the door behind them ahhhh grandmas are case I tell ya but really what else do you expect them to do for fun?

Girl, just go with the flow abeg! As an Ijebu wife I have learnt . As long as I aint paying or organising, make we carry go . Might as well enjoy it jare.

Grandparents in Nigeria only get to do two things, religious activities and parties, allow the poor woman to do her party abeg! You think say na beans ti become a grandparent ni?

naijababe: Girl, just go with the flow abeg! As an Ijebu wife I have learnt . As long as I aint paying or organising, make we carry go . Might as well enjoy it jare.

Grandparents in Nigeria only get to do two things, religious activities and parties, allow the poor woman to do her party abeg! You think say na beans ti become a grandparent ni?

Word! At least she had her way with her daughter. It is not easy to be a grandparent. Most parents never get to see their grandkids not to talk of being able to throw parties for them. Me sef wish my dad could do or witness such. My mum is like damiso

funkybaby:

Hahaha. You are expecting an ijebu woman not to parry? you must be having a laugh !!

With the ijebus, everything is a reason for celebration..... the more the merrier !



Spot on !!!
Damiso, copy that! Listen and obey.
Thread closed !

just hold it there, im a complete ijebu woman, my mama, papa, and olowoorimi sef, we are all ijebu.........and both of us(me&hubby) hate party die, on my wedding day, i nearly run away when i see pple, infact, owanbe is out of it for me, i prefer just going to d church, do thanksgiving, cut cake in d children dept of d church and take a lot of pictures for my kids during their birthdays. Anything beyond that, to us.....is mere waste of money and "feferity"

@post, since you know your hubby wont be pleased with grandma's wish, why dont you take them to Nigeria and plan for their birthday there, then, grandma will be able to do as she wish.

My warmest wishes to d prince and het sister, awon oloriire omo, aridunu, ariyo.
It is well with them in Jesus name.
May our efforts on them not be in vain......amen.

baby_123:

Word! At least she had her way with her daughter. It is not easy to be a grandparent. Most parents never get to see their grandkids not to talk of being able to throw parties for them. Me sef wish my dad could do or witness such. My mum is like damiso

Hehehehehe! You no like am like that?

I will do the highest party when my baby turns 1.... That day, even The whole boulodrome go hear am...after the kids section, adult section continues.....

Life is short oh! 1yr party is usually worth celebrating even if I will pay installment for 2 yrs just to pay for it

Let your baby have the party, it's worth it.

^ . One man's meat is defo another's fish.

Vikin: I will do the highest party when my baby turns 1.... That day, even The whole boulodrome go hear am...after the kids section, adult section continues.....

Life is short oh! 1yr party is usually worth celebrating even if I will pay installment for 2 yrs just to pay for it

Let your baby have the party, it's worth it.

Hehehe. . . how much you go come spend for 10th birthday or 16th, 18th or 21st?

Anyhow, make sure you invite me as part of the whole boulodrome sha.

Poster, you're being more than reasonable, you're being exception.

It's reasonable to save money and to avoid splurging hard earned cash on people you don't care about.

What's wrong with just inviting close family to eat cake, drink water and go back home? Nothing.

Unfortunately, Nigerians don't know how to save and invest.


PS: I don much like parties, so expect my opinion to be partial.

debosky:

Hehehe. . . how much you go come spend for 10th birthday or 16th, 18th or 21st?

Anyhow, make sure you invite me as part of the whole boulodrome sha.

The first my priority, the 18 th follows because then she/he graduating to adulthood...after that, na only present I go buy and offer dinner.

As per inviting you, no wahala...the best wine and whiskey will be in abundance!

I just feel like doing the 1yr party in advance sef!

chaircover: one of my mums friends is still paying off for the gold and other things she wore at her sons wedding. The hall alone cost thousands and she chartered all her friends in from the USA . . . . BTW the couple divorced ages ago.

Wetin eye no go see for this obodo oyibo

Haba no be the fault of the gold now!

I do understand why some people want to party sha. . . .if you can't enjoy your own money while you are alive, you want HMRC to come and collect 40% of it when you die when you can use it to do owambe here and now?

chaircover: one of my mums friends is still paying off for the gold and other things she wore at her sons wedding. The hall alone cost thousands and she chartered all her friends in from the USA . . . . BTW the couple divorced ages ago.

Wetin eye no go see for this obodo oyibo

u have just made me laugh out loud so bad - madam CC abeg don't let my obituary say i died of laughter abeg o!!!!!!

now i understand why my mum is always annoyed with us ibo's not knowing how to party - see enjoyment o!!!