konfessor:
she is 31 and single,i hope u guys see one of the problems with some of our ladies; stubbornnes!

You guys are still dating and you say she is single?... Cos nowhere in ur write up did u mentioned that u have left her...

luvmijeje: Oops am seeing this late.I said it,most people on NL have been programmed to think one way.So immediately u see less,it means settling for a rich guy.
Fine,money is an important ingredient but is relative as far basic necessities of life is met.
Now,at this stage due to alot of influence,people get marry for the sake of I want to get marry.When I wrote 'less' I mean settling for a guy that is abusive,a wife beater,irresponsible etc.A guy u know u wont settle for if not for the pressure.

Dont even go there! B'coz what u actually meant was money, ie, marrying some kind of guy that is not affulent. So dnt be logistic or try twisting ur previous statement. All of u ladies are the same. But thank god time always catch up on u all....mtcheewww!!!

Single as in unmarried

nbright: You guys are still dating and you say she is single?... Cos nowhere in ur write up did u mentioned that u have left her...

The number one reason is Lesbianism! Most of these ladies after picking up the despicable act from secondary school and university finds it dificult to have emotional attachment to men afterwards. They are in a dilemna, they prefer their fellow women,but they cant marry because the law and the Nigerian society is against it on the other hand they face pressure from parents and relatives so they resort to giving frivolous excuses like: I have not found the right person yet etc! Even when they decide to get married they only go for the rich guys since they are just in it for the money!

luvmijeje: @Sunny_t, am in agreement with u that u ve not seen where 'less' is used that way,that is why I said most people mind on NL have been programmed to think one way.
What does a girl mean when she says she want a God fearing man?

Ohh, u wanna know wat a gal means when she talks abt a "God fearing man". U tell us 1st or raise a tread on it so u can hv a sampled opinion.

This is a scary development .. Do you guys know that in the united states 70% of black children born are to single parents? That is the reason why their society is so messed up, violence, drug use, ignorance... now the same thing is happening in Nigeria. That cannot be a coincidence, the only common denominator is black people. We clearly have genetic pre-disposition to this behavior.

Is the black race cursed? i am starting to think so

Da gr8tosyn: To my best of knowledge exposure can make or mar ladies of this generation, issue of environment and family back ground is a strongly influence in the Life of Ladies, making them to end up being Single parent; therefore Single Parent for example could easily make all female children grow up without fatherly love, atmosphere and believing it's interesting, and best to live as a single lady.

More so, it is not common for you to see a single lady at over 30years of age in most good homes where both parent exist. Please how do we correct the insanity of so many overdue (for marriage)single ladies and single parent in this part of the world, I strongly advice young ladies deviate from their mother’s believe( situation and condition) and come out different from the ways they are trained...?

Please what is your take on this topic?

Too many no good Naija 30 something year old Niggas rolling around these days I guess is the best answer. Aint nobody got time for that. Right ladies?

CAMNEWTON4PRES:



1st bolded: smply means for every single lady there is a single man. It's false and i showed it in my previous post.

2nd bolded: Marriage is a status.

3rd and 4th : contradiction

......

CAMNEWTON4PRES: your post is full of nonsense
if your 16yo girl comes to you and say am getting married your first reaction will be you are too young for that.

BTW marriage is a status

for every +30 single lady there is a +30single guy? what a big lie Men tend to go for younger ladies, a 30+yo man will most likely go for a 25yo girl and not the other way around so your saying that Xsingle ladies=Ysingle men doesn't make any sense
the truth will be for every +30yo girl there is a +60yo widow

stop thinking married women are unhappy

Oga....na dis one u wan take marry and be head of the house abi......u better go back 2 KG sch....and stop disgracing d male folkz.....!.

Blyss:

Too many no good Naija 30 something year old Niggas rolling around these days I guess is the best answer. Aint nobody got time for that. Right ladies?

Whats the BA excuse?

[color=#000099][/color]Gals

@ 18 to 20 = shakara
They tend to live in the world of pleasure rather than planning their lives.
@ 21 to 25 = dreamers
They live in the world of fantasy where they build their "dream husband" that doesn't exist. Mostly they all seek a rich, handsome, and God fearing young man.
@ 30 to infinity = expired
When they no longer can convert their fantasy into reality, they settle for anything and by then,the "anyhow/none desiring man" seeks them no more.
And for the so-called unlucky career ladies otherwise know as bankers are just so unlucky.

I remember my secondary school days and how I used to see those single, female teachers we called 'aunties"
They mostly were slim, "wicked", and wore too much make up
I would look at them, and wish that they were not unhappy

I would see them chatting and laughing with the male teachers, not so much with the married female teachers, etc
These ladies must have all been between 30 and 40....I always thought they needed men to complete them

Fast forward to this day, I am them, lol...I am a single, working lady in this age bracket, well behaved (most times sha), nice, hard working, and content....usually happy and chatty with guys, and not so much with married female folks (apart from my friends)...had my heart broken once, thoroughly, broke 2 hearts definitely, and 1 possibly, still rolls eyes at the thought of menopause,(maybe cos I have a niece I adore and think of as mine?) and still know I cannot settle for less just so I can belong..(maybe the fact that I earn money, and am older and wiser has also made me maybe too independent/strong

Point is, I wonder what teenage girls like me then see when they look at me? A real, happy, good at her job/life lady? Or
a spinster with too much attempts at trying to be young, pitiable and old, who should get married already or move in to a nursing home!

I wonder sha...

nbright: You guys are still dating and you say she is single?... Cos nowhere in ur write up did u mentioned that u have left her...

I'm not sure if we are dating or not, but one thing I am sure of is that we are not married yet . I don't know how some girls are able to sense that I'm about to be single again,I mean...some girl I was seriously chasing some 3 years ago in My church was flirting with Me today, two other soon to be "old cargoes" were also seriously flirting with Me tooday,its like they can sense it already that I'm about to be single agaian

The 300+ comments and attitudes of men towards women and the concept of marriage is most likely a reason why there is an increase of single 30+ ladies. Av noticed that most men want to marry a lady who will blend d western and African mindset. Western in the sense that the ladies are expected to contribute to the financing of the household, dress trendy, be fashionable and maintain their figure; and African in the sense that they maintain and keep a clean household single handedly, attend to the children's needs, cook delicious and time consuming delicacies and leave the husband to do whatever and what little he likes. Which woman wants to shorten her life expectancy by marrying the typical brought up and raised in Nigeria man?

And for the poster that was asking, when a woman says she wants a God fearing man, she means she wants a man whose conscious is still intact and will treat her as a partner in the home, not a domestic helper

They remain single because they are self centered.

mamaaustin: The 300+ comments and attitudes of men towards women and the concept of marriage is most likely a reason why there is an increase of single 30+ ladies. Av noticed that most men want to marry a lady who will blend d western and African mindset. Western in the sense that the ladies are expected to contribute to the financing of the household, dress trendy, be fashionable and maintain their figure; and African in the sense that they maintain and keep a clean household single handedly, attend to the children's needs, cook delicious and time consuming delicacies and leave the husband to do whatever and what little he likes. Which woman wants to shorten her life expectancy by marrying the typical brought up and raised in Nigeria man?

And for the poster that was asking, when a woman says she wants a God fearing man, she means she wants a man whose conscious is still intact and will treat her as a partner in the home, not a domestic helper

I have been monitoring the term " God fearing man" as used by babes for over 3 yrs now and I see a new definition every time. Atleast this ur definition is a totally new one. I have come to conclusion that the term means different things to different babes. In reality something that means everything at once actually means NOTHING. So when a babe tells me she wants a God fearing man, I unconsciously view her as confused.

milychocs: I remember my secondary school days and how I used to see those single, female teachers we called 'aunties"
They mostly were slim, "wicked", and wore too much make up
I would look at them, and wish that they were not unhappy

I would see them chatting and laughing with the male teachers, not so much with the married female teachers, etc
These ladies must have all been between 30 and 40....I always thought they needed men to complete them

Fast forward to this day, I am them, lol...I am a single, working lady in this age bracket, well behaved (most times sha), nice, hard working, and content....usually happy and chatty with guys, and not so much with married female folks (apart from my friends)...had my heart broken once, thoroughly, broke 2 hearts definitely, and 1 possibly, still rolls eyes at the thought of menopause,(maybe cos I have a niece I adore and think of as mine?) and still know I cannot settle for less just so I can belong..(maybe the fact that I earn money, and am older and wiser has also made me maybe too independent/strong

Point is, I wonder what teenage girls like me then see when they look at me? A real, happy, good at her job/life lady? Or
a spinster with too much attempts at trying to be young, pitiable and old, who should get married already or move in to a nursing home!

I wonder sha...

dats very down to earth of you...kudos

[size=20pt]THANK YOU NAIRALANDERS!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY LIFE IN THE BORING
WESTERN WORLD WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU.

WE SURE HAVE A LOT OF COMEDIANS IN HOUSE.

KUDOS![/size]

Da gr8tosyn: To my best of knowledge exposure can make or mar ladies of this generation, issue of environment and family back ground is a strongly influence in the Life of Ladies, making them to end up being Single parent; therefore Single Parent for example could easily make all female children grow up without fatherly love, atmosphere and believing it's interesting, and best to live as a single lady.

More so, it is not common for you to see a single lady at over 30years of age in most good homes where both parent exist. Please how do we correct the insanity of so many overdue (for marriage)single ladies and single parent in this part of the world, I strongly advice young ladies deviate from their mother’s believe( situation and condition) and come out different from the ways they are trained...?

Please what is your take on this topic?

[email]

Da gr8tosyn: To my best of knowledge exposure can make or mar ladies of this generation, issue of environment and family back ground is a strongly influence in the Life of Ladies, making them to end up being Single parent; therefore Single Parent for example could easily make all female children grow up without fatherly love, atmosphere and believing it's interesting, and best to live as a single lady.

More so, it is not common for you to see a single lady at over 30years of age in most good homes where both parent exist. Please how do we correct the insanity of so many overdue (for marriage)single ladies and single parent in this part of the world, I strongly advice young ladies deviate from their mother’s believe( situation and condition) and come out different from the ways they are trained...?

Please what is your take on this topic?

[/email]

Da gr8tosyn: To my best of knowledge exposure can make or mar ladies of this generation, issue of environment and family back ground is a strongly influence in the Life of Ladies, making them to end up being Single parent; therefore Single Parent for example could easily make all female children grow up without fatherly love, atmosphere and believing it's interesting, and best to live as a single lady.

More so, it is not common for you to see a single lady at over 30years of age in most good homes where both parent exist. Please how do we correct the insanity of so many overdue (for marriage)single ladies and single parent in this part of the world, I strongly advice young ladies deviate from their mother’s believe( situation and condition) and come out different from the ways they are trained...?

Please what is your take on this topic?

African culture is the best for Nigerians. When Nigerian ladies decided to throw their culture away and go western, nature has a way of compensating itself. Most financially balanced ladies want a man they will lord themselves over, contrary to God's mandate. The less privileged ones want a self made perfect man which is not easy to comeby. My advise to young people is to reorientate their minds so as to marry and build their homes with the man instead of looking for already made home and when they get married they should always have it at the back of their minds that the man is the head of the family.

@milychocs; quite touched by ur post....

However, once again the re-emergence of 'I cannot settle for less' .

@op, Going through the comments on the thread, one can easily conclude that there are a thousand and one factors responsible for the high number of single ladies at 30+.

However, there seems to be no silver bullet to deal with the problem. life itself is full of ironies:I know of a lady, whose early to mid and late twenties were full of fun, from one guy/man/ to the other,even to secure a job, she used what she had to get what she wanted,... now at 33, she remains single and desperately so.... LAW OF KARMA?
Another female friend, decent, amiable, beautiful, so committed that she spent six years in courtship with an unemployed guy, only to be dumped immediately he secured a job,(after seven years of joblessness).REASON?, it was seen by a pastor that she was not the right person for him!!.....and today, at 35, she is single trying real hard to put the pieces of her life together again! LAW OF....WETIN?.LOL

One can go on and on, but one thing is clear, a wise man is not always successful, and a fool is not always unfortunate; a wayward lady could end up with a happy family early in life, while a decent one gets married late/never/or to the wrong person!!....thats the irony of life!!!

all i know is this,

if as a young lady, you are pious, and genuinely, seek piety as the main virtue in your man,
if you exhibit temperance, patience, perseverance and simplicity in your endeavours....
if you realize, as a young lady, that you are meant to be a reasonable companion of a man...and not only a slave of his passion...
if you undersatand, that your sole purpose is to assist him in the toils of life.....even if men are as scarce as hen's teeth, u'l always be the one to chose from a pool of worthy husband materials...and if despite all this, u remain single!...then you'l be singly happy!!

TO those in their 30+.....never lose hope, don't give room for depression,be cheerful always, be realistic, lower your standards and pray,pray,pray.....

Rubbish.

What are the reasons for High Level of 30 years+ single men in Nigeria too.

I have seen a trend amongst most young ladies today.

You meet a man today, 7days later, you want him to start catering for all your needs, starting from food, hair, nails, transportation, recharge card.

You the lady knows this guy is husband material but your gluttony and crave for material things makes the guy walk away. Why not wait and get married to him first before plunging all your needs on his pocket?

realdon:

What defines the word'less'?

Aiming too high is the genesis of all these problems. Ladies tends tend to b materialistic than realistic.

May God help us all

The bolded, craze for material things keeps them single.

That is the number one factor, others may abound. Dont you ladies know at thesame time that there are many guys above 30 who are desperate to settle down with you not minding your age?

When you want to get into marriage, drop the cheating mentality.

I came across a girl and on a first date, we chatted for about 2hours. At the end of the chat she asked me why my phone never rang, i told her nobody called me. She asked if it was on vibration. I gave her the phone to inspect.

Later on, i discovered that when a man is calling her on phone she would be mentioning a lady's name like 'Ada'.

I laughed for my mind. Drop your fake personalities. Its very easy to see through. Very little things can make a man who was taking you seriously to change his mind.

eldoradoxx: My take on this issue of late marriage by ladies has always been this; men became too "cold feeted" when sex became too cheap. You see whether you believe it or pretend its not true, men like sex naturally and can sell a country for half a penny to have it with a lady they really like. But do they have to sell anything now to have it ? NO. Its absolutely free and cheap. Ladies no longer strike a bargain or any deal of " sorry I dnt have sex without marriage". So guys are no longer in a hurry to wed ladies and since they everything married men get from their wives while single. A lady cooks, washes his cloths, cleans his house and sleeps with him and u think he ll be serious with marriage? If a lady want to get a guy serious, let her close her legs.

Dont bet on it!
Unfortunately, while she is "closing her legs" ..another 'fine gaal' is opening her own wide and some men being what they are .....will think she is "forming" and before you can say jack, the 'open-leg" lady don marry the GUY!

Uuuunnn, l hate it when that happens!

Lastpage!

They just realized how most men lack sense

What are the reasons for the high level of 30 years+ single ladies in Nigeria?

Maybe they are fat?

Maybe they are so fat when the fall down they roll?
Maybe they are fat and sweaty? Sweaty and fat.

Maybe they are so fat they get stuck in doorways?
So fat that they can't find a man?

Maybe...

Michaeljones36: What are the reasons for the high level of 30 years+ single ladies in Nigeria?

Maybe they are fat?

Maybe they are so fat when the fall down they roll?
Maybe they are fat and sweaty? Sweaty and fat.

Maybe they are so fat they get stuck in doorways?
So fat that they can't find a man?

Maybe...

kolomental

luvmijeje: If u are above 30 and u still single pls don't settle for less.I know it is easier said than done but what is the use of getting married and u re unhappy.
Pls don't let society pressurize u into making a wrong choice.
'Why are there high rate of divorcee and single mothers' are threads that people should open on NL.

From all indications, you are still unmarried

Why does it seem that it is you single and unmarried women feel you are in the best position to give relationship advice on marriage?

Talk about the blind leading another blind person.

DailyNews: I love threads like this, free of- insults and abuses, instead, every contributor makes his or her points in a matured way, which gives room for readers to read and learn.

Kudos @initiator of the thread.

Meanwhile, modern media and fast-adoption of western culture and lifestyles haven't benefited the Nigerian and African marriage and family system in general.

Media (TV, movies, music, magazines, and now internet) are the major things that shape every society, and they have shaped our society wrongly and we need to retrace our routes back.

So to say, the ladies aren't being realistic with the present national economy situation- they have big expectation when it comes to who they see as their dream man (using media standard to rate their dream man).

I love what some posters already said here- most ladies are not truly God-fearing, they are only pretending for their best reasons. Most claim to want good and God-fearing men, but deep down their hearts, that good and God-fearing man means just a man who is well financially buoyant, other qualities are negligible.

Most live mirror life- fake life, so when a guy decide to embark on a committed romantic journey with them, he ends up discovering a lot of loopholes and fakery and pretence in her, and this further discourages guys to even desire to marry cos stories fly faster than light nowadays with social network technologies.

Any realistic, good and focused lady can never be single till 35 except she intentionally decided to and happy about it.

Thank you very much dailynew, I've just dished out the thread based on true life experience and I don't want fellow men to fall into the same pit, pity of feel for ladies in that age to mary them and most importantly beware of the saying that evil that men do go after them, that is the reason those ladies are not married aside from other genuine reasons such as time spent on education, quit from guys and so on. Bigger you I pray Dailynews...Another interesting topic is on the way.

milychocs: I remember my secondary school days and how I used to see those single, female teachers we called 'aunties"
They mostly were slim, "wicked", and wore too much make up
I would look at them, and wish that they were not unhappy

I would see them chatting and laughing with the male teachers, not so much with the married female teachers, etc
These ladies must have all been between 30 and 40....I always thought they needed men to complete them

Fast forward to this day, I am them, lol...I am a single, working lady in this age bracket, well behaved (most times sha), nice, hard working, and content....usually happy and chatty with guys, and not so much with married female folks (apart from my friends)...had my heart broken once, thoroughly, broke 2 hearts definitely, and 1 possibly, still rolls eyes at the thought of menopause,(maybe cos I have a niece I adore and think of as mine?) and still know I cannot settle for less just so I can belong..(maybe the fact that I earn money, and am older and wiser has also made me maybe too independent/strong

Point is, I wonder what teenage girls like me then see when they look at me? A real, happy, good at her job/life lady? Or
a spinster with too much attempts at trying to be young, pitiable and old, who should get married already or move in to a nursing home!

I wonder sha...

I appreciate your view because you actually came out of the shield to use yourself as practical example, please my sincere advise for you is to pray to God to grant you a new heart for good relationship that would be free from deception, pretence and guilt. More so you need to make up your mind on what you want in a man and not what you are(all your hard earn money can't buy a good man please not), when you see a man that can compliment your effort hold on to him and stop thinking that you are Ok, when a lady has no good man to point at as her man nothing seems to be ok, except you want to pretend.God help us all in this journey of eternal cojugal bliss.

eyescue: Dont even go there! B'coz what u actually meant was money, ie, marrying some kind of guy that is not affulent. So dnt be logistic or try twisting ur previous statement. All of u ladies are the same. But thank god time always catch up on u all....mtcheewww!!!

Why are u harshing? Money isn't always da thing, not every woman is on the look out for Dangote (or his son). Some of us want to find the man that we can connect with on every level - someone who gets us, puts our needs first, makes us feel special, someone refined that we can be proud of. someone with whom we can let our guard down, who's got focus and knows where he's headed, someone who feels responsible for us. someone we can be 100% about, even though he might not be perfect. settling for less means you're aware that the relationship doesn't feel exactly right and you're going to draw up a list and decide if the pros outweigh the cons.