Once upon a starless midnight, there was an owl who sat on the branch of an oak tree. Two ground moles tried to slip quietly by unnoticed. " You"! said the owl, "Who?" they quavered, in fear and astonishment, for they could not believe it was possible for anyone to see them in the thick darkness. "You two!" said the owl.

The moles hurried away and told the other creatures of the field and the forest that the owl is the greatest and wiset of all animals because he can see in the dark and because he can answer any question." I'll see about that"  said a secretary bird, and he called on the owl one night when it was again very dark. " How many claws am I holding up" said the secretary bird. "Two" said the owl, and that was right. " Can you give me another expression for ` that is to say` or namely'? asked the secretary bird. "To wit" said the owl " why does a lover call on his love? asked the secretary bird. " To woo" said the owl. The secretary bird hastened back to the other creatures and reported that the owl is indeed the greatest and the wisest in the world because he could see in the dark and because he can answer any question. " Can he see in the daytime too"? asked a red fox. " Yes" echoed a door mouse and a french poodle. All other creatures laughed at this silly question and they  upon the red fox and his friends and drove them out of the region.

Then they sent a messenger to the owl and asked him to be their leader. When the owl appeared among the animals  it was high noon and the sun was shining brightly. He walked very slowly which gave him the appearance of great dignity and he peered about him with large ,staring eyes, which gave him an air of tremendous importance. " He is God" screamed a Plymouth hen. And the others took up the cry "He's God"!

So they followed him when ever he goes and when he bumps into things, they also began to bump into things, too. Finally he came to a concrete highway and he started up the middle of it and all the creatures  followed him. Presently a hawk, who acting as an outsider, observed a truck coming towards them at fifty miles an hour and he reported to the secretary bird and the secretary bird  reported to the owl. " There is danger ahead" said the secretary bird. "To wit'? said the owl. The secretary bird told him. "Aren't you afraid? He asked. "Who"? said the owl calmly. for he could not see the truck. " He's God"! cried all the creatures again and they were still crying when the truck hit them them.

The Thurber Carnival
James Thurber 1894-1961