Being Single Is Priceless

Part 1 – Introduction

You’re probably here because you’re single and feel like you have no place to turn.  There are a lot of people out there that are single and feel uneasy because of it.  This is something I’ve been working through for quite a while, and still continue to work through, and I want to help others that are in the same situation.  We have to understand that very
often we will experience uncomfortable trials for the greater benefit of others.  I feel the reason that I’ve had to be single for almost all of my life was so I can learn lessons and gain experience and pass on the knowledge to others.

I would like to state that I am not “anti-relationship.”  Becoming a successful single is about learning to be happy with yourself; it’s not about an outright rejection of couplehood.  Learning how to be a successful single will give you the right perspectives, put you in a better state of mind, give you more self-confidence, and reinforce a positive image of yourself.  The way you feel about yourself is apparent to others.  Whether your goal is to eventually find a relationship, or if you just want to become more accepting of being single, this information should help you make your time as a single a positive experience.

I don’t dispute the fact that there are many advantages to being in a relationship or marriage.  However, some of us are just not able to find that special someone, no matter what we do.  It’s rough being a single person in a couples-based society.  Feelings of loneliness or emptiness, societal prejudices towards singles, and personal fears about being single can make us perceive singleness as a much bigger problem than it really is.

Being single can cause us to feel like we’re trapped.

Why does being single feel like a trap?

Being single can dominate your thoughts.

Being single can make you a slave to the idea of finding someone.

Being single can deprive you of your ability to enjoy life.

Being single can cause desperation, depression, and fear.

How do you feel about being single?  Do you feel you can’t be happy without a relationship?  Do you feel that everything would be just fine if you could find that one special person?  Do you feel lonely?  Does being single make you think negative thoughts about yourself? 

Being single is a problem that affects a great number of people.  What is it about being single that makes people feel bad?  Why are people ashamed of being single?  We typically go by what we see around us.  Messages about couplehood are everywhere.  The message that we’re being fed is that being single should be kept to a short amount of time or avoided altogether if possible, and that you should do everything that you can to find someone.  In order to become a successful single, you must be able to recognize and resist the forces at work that make you feel bad about being single.  One of the biggest misconceptions in our
society today is that you need to be a in a relationship in order to have a happy and meaningful life.  However, satisfaction and singleness are not mutually exclusive.  Life doesn’t have to be a difficult and depressing ordeal just because you are single.  

Being single is only a problem if you let it be a problem.  There is no reason to be
depressed or embarrassed about being single.  It’s affected me for a good portion of my life, and sometimes still does to this day.  I used to believe that it wasn’t possible to be happy while being single.  I couldn’t and wouldn’t accept being single.  Now I’ve learned otherwise.  You can let the term “single” make you think of all the negative stereotypes associated with being single, or you can use the power that you, and only you, have to inspire and encourage yourself to become a successful single.  There are many singles out there that have overcome our situations and led happy and fulfilling lives.  The problem is not that we are single; the problem is our negative views about being single.  Les Brown said, “You are the only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life.”

Becoming a successful single requires you to have confidence in yourself.  Without self-confidence, it will be very difficult for you to be successful as a single.  Judith Bardwick, a sociologist, says “Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself – your strengths and limitations – in contrast to depending on affirmation from others.”

The first thing that you have to do in order to become a successful single is to have a positive attitude.  A positive attitude is your first line of defense.  Your attitude determines your level of happiness. Don’t worry if it takes you a while to be accustomed to being happy as a single person. The time it takes doesn’t matter.  The most important step is to get started now.  If you want to become a successful single, you have to want to change.  As the old saying goes, “If you change nothing, nothing will change.”  You may have already decided that you want change by reading this.  I’m giving you the information you need to make a change. You have to take the first step.  I can’t help you unless you help yourself. 

When you think about it, nearly everything in life has two sides to it, and the same goes for being single.  It’s easy for us to focus exclusively on the negative aspects of being single while completely ignoring the fact that there are also benefits. If someone picks up on this and points out that we are being negative, we defend ourselves by saying that we are only being realistic.  The truth is that it’s not realistic to concentrate on the negative side of any situation.  Being realistic means examining both sides of a situation and recognizing the advantages and making the most of them while minimizing the disadvantages and handling them in a constructive manner. 

Choose to be optimistic when it comes to being single.  William Arthur Ward said, “Real optimism is aware of problems but recognizes the solutions, knows about difficulties but believes they can be overcome, sees the negatives but accentuates the positives, is exposed to the worst but expects the best, has reason to complain but chooses to smile.”  I want you to be able to apply this quote as it pertains to being single.

Every one of us strives to be happy and fulfilled.  However, too many people make the mistake in thinking that they need a special someone in their lives in order to be happy.  If you feel that you’re not worth anything unless you are part of a couple, then you won’t be.  On the other hand, if you decide that your time as a single is a great opportunity to be yourself and make yourself happy, you’ll find single life much more fulfilling.  A positive attitude will be your key to finding happiness in being single.  Just like everything else in life, being happy as a single person can be learned, and the learning can be fun as long as you look at it as a positive experience. 

You should never measure your self-worth by your relationship status.  Would you dislike a friend or relative simply because they are single?  So, why hold yourself to a stricter standard?  There are bad people in relationships, and good people who aren’t.  Relationship status is not a good way to determine anyone’s worth, including your own.

Regardless of individual circumstances, you can start by taking these several steps:

Accept the reality of being single.

Allow yourself to feel sadness about being single.  Acknowledging your feelings helps you recover.  Denial never solves anything and only delays the inevitable.

Adjust to your current environment. Acknowledge that right now, you are single. 

Begin to put closure to your situation and move on.  Do not continue to let your singleness take its....... Continue to read the whole parts of this article, from PART 1- 8 of
Living The Single Life: Becoming A Successful Single. click link to read all. http://coolpenny./2013/02/25/living-the-single-life-becoming-a-successful-single-part-1/