shooooorrr!!!

biolabee:

What about if he never takes responsibility
What if he never comes back
What if she cant really afford to take care of a baby

It's not about him. It's about the mother and child, and the joy/pain of motherhood. Afterall there are married women crying to get out of the marriage. Why terminate a life just to make someone who has his own life happy? We African girls must stop living our lives as if it revolves around men and pleasing men who don't care anyway. That's why some men treat us like disposable rags.

keep on taking in! The baby will eventually die of drinking much pap

Woged2005:

It's not about him. It's about the mother and child, and the joy/pain of motherhood. Afterall there are married women crying to get out of the marriage. Why terminate a life just to make someone who has his own life happy? We African girls must stop living our lives as if it revolves around men and pleasing men who don't care anyway. That's why some men treat us like disposable rags.

I said this becuase you said it may turn out right

IT MAY NOT

Its not about making someone else happy or unhappy
Its about what she can do

My dear poster, I pray for the best for you
But learn from the abandoned child here https://www.nairaland.com/1210438/abandoned-child-iyana-ipaja

Somebody must have said the same thing
have the child have the child
nobody ever calls the useless father

colinp: keep on taking in! The baby will eventually die of drinking much pap

bros i feel u die
In some cases, there would not be pap

Then we come back to call soms single mums s.luts becuase they have to lie down to feed themselves or their kids

@OP, tell your parents and if they are not financially ready to accept you having and keeping the pregnancy, there's no close aunt or uncle that want to adopt the baby, please go to a good hospital for an abortion.

At the end of the day, the decision is yours. All the best. Next time use protection.

Buuggz: hi people, I'm really in need of ur candid advice. i just graduated from university waiting for service, just discovered that i am pregnant for my boyfriend of three months. i told him that i am pregnant and he is saying he cannot afford a baby now because he wants to travel out of the country. i told him i cannot abort the pregnancy yet all he says is i should see it from his point of view. but i don't want to risk my life and at the same time he has little or no money, lives with his brother. right now i don't think he can afford a wedding and getting an accomodation. please what do i do...im confused
p.s.: ive not told any member of my family yet.

Please do not abort the pregnancy because you may live to regret it for the rest of your life. Kindly inform your parents and his parents/family. You are old enough to start taking financial responsibility for yourself and your unborn child. Get off the mindset of "he has little or no money, he cannot afford a wedding, accommodation, etc".

You should also make sure you serve in your state of residence to reduce the burden of serving far from home with a pregnancy.
I pray that GOD will guide you in whatever decision you take. Abortion is not an option except if the pregnancy is a threat (medically) to your life. Take care, work hard and pray.

Peterwins:

Please do not abort the pregnancy because you may live to regret it for the rest of your life. Kindly inform your parents and his parents/family. You are old enough to start taking financial responsibility for yourself and your unborn child. Get off the mindset of "he has little or no money, he cannot afford a wedding, accomodation, etc".

You should also make sure you serve in your state of residence to reduce the burden of serving far from home with a pregnancy.
I pray that GOD will guide you in whatever decision you take. Abortion is not an option except if the pregnancy is a threat to your life. Take care, work hard and pray.

How will she get the job when she cant go for apptitude test and interviews because she has ante=natal classes, morning sickness, vomitting up and down
How will she go for them when she has to b.weast feed the baby
Wil you volunteer to feed the baby formula

Statistics show that single mothers who come less from less privileged backgrounds further compound their disadvantageness to this same reason

I know NL is faceless and anyone can say anything but lets try and temper our advice with good and balanced judgement

ifyalways: @OP, tell your parents and if they are not financially ready to accept you having and keeping the pregnancy,, there's no close aunt or uncle that want to adopt the baby, please go to a good hospital for an abortion.

At the end of the day, the decision is yours. All the best. Next time use protection.

So you had this in mind before posting that trash earlier?

How old is the pregnancy? If the affair is just 3 months chances are the pregnancy is 1-2 months.

I think this can be safely aborted.

If you are comfortable with the idea you can look to aborting it, A lot of people have aborted before Infact a large percentage of girls have done it at one point in time in their life.

If you were my daughter in a similar circumstance I would advise you abort it. That incident can determine how your life goes especially in a country like Nigeria where the safety net is non existent. An unplanned pregnancy can turn a potential high flyer to a never do well.

Family rejects you, Boyfriend runs away, you have no money, no job, your career aspiration thwarted or delayed, Even the baby you cant even provide for him or her and this might force you to even do worse things to cater for the baby.

Talk to a Doctor and find out if Abortion is an option

Better to deal with your conscience alone than bring an innocent baby to this life to suffer

@Buugz

You may benefit from this thread https://www.nairaland.com/1191865/pls-advice-me-losin-it/6#14570022

Keep your head up.

Woged2005:

It's not about him. It's about the mother and child, and the joy/pain of motherhood. Afterall there are married women crying to get out of the marriage. Why terminate a life just to make someone who has his own life happy? We African girls must stop living our lives as if it revolves around men and pleasing men who don't care anyway. That's why some men treat us like disposable rags.

Its not about the "joy/pain of motherhood"... its about selfishly giving life to a child you know you are incapable of giving the best to. Why bring a child into the world to go through the psychological pain of knowing they were not wanted?

^^^ WORD!

@OP/Buuggz kindly disregard the option of abortion. Look at the brighter side of life and not the gloom and doom of being a miserable single mother. You can still fulfill your aspiration in life and get happily married to someone else who will love you and your child if the father of your baby walks away.

As long as you are not lazy and/or have a myopic view of life, you will be successful in the career or business you commit yourself to. I leave you with a famous quote from Mother Theresa (GOD bless her soul): “Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”

Peterwins: @OP/Buuggz kindly disregard the option of abortion. Look at the brighter side of life and not the gloom and doom of being a miserable single mother. You can still fulfill your aspiration in life and get happily married to someone else who will love you and your child if the father of your baby walks away.

dude answer honestly

if you are married, when you were single would you have considered marrying a single mother wit a kid

If you are single, would you consider dating a single mother

There's no nid crying ova spilt milk,†ђξ deed has bn done...just inform U̶̲̥̅̊я̩̥̊ parents,A̶̲̅•̸Ϟ sure Uя mom wl av a positive way of approaching †ђξ issue...if †ђξ guy doesn't want it,KEEP it ΑϞ∂ raise †ђξ child...ΑϞ∂ after †ђξ child Ȋ̝̊̅§ born,gve †ђξ baby Ur fadas name...There's nOoº°˚ big deal i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ it..afterall He rejected †ђξ child...
All †ђξ best...

Buuggz: hi people, I'm really in need of ur candid advice. i just graduated from university waiting for service, just discovered that i am pregnant for my boyfriend of three months. i told him that i am pregnant and he is saying he cannot afford a baby now because he wants to travel out of the country. i told him i cannot abort the pregnancy yet all he says is i should see it from his point of view. but i don't want to risk my life and at the same time he has little or no money, lives with his brother. right now i don't think he can afford a wedding and getting an accomodation. please what do i do...im confused
p.s.: ive not told any member of my family yet.

Deal with it home girl ...... When you were busy getting humped raw dog,you were loving it... forgetting about the consequences

Table Leg :

Deal with it home girl ...... When you were busy getting humped raw dog,you were loving it... forgetting about the consequences

yeah.. sttp.

vallycan: Wen u wre funfully doin and enjoyin it didn't u rememba d consequenz,nw ya secret enjoyin as a produce an open result so enjoy to as u dance the music of ya own beat n tune:

dats harsh

No 2 abortion!

Speak 2 ur people, despite the disappointment if they support u . . . .Goodluck!
if they don't twud only make ur hustlin' twice as hard. . .put up a brave face n deal weev eet!

u shud know better tho!

baby_123:

LMAO. people must be sharing and recycling condoms these days, that is why it was so scarce for the OP. That decision OP is left for you.

Na you go remain with the pickin when the guy leaves for where ever he is going.

That choice is not for anyone to make. The deed is done, but jeez babes. How you go just open am gbaga for man wey no fit even buy sweet for you, not to talk of take care of a baby. na wa o.

Men, I tire oh. It's as if experience is no longer the best teacher in this age. I keep hearing and reading the same scenarios over and over again and I wonder if some ladies don't learn from others' experiences or just being misinformed/ignorant/carried away with the pleasure at the time ignoring the consequences that ensue afterwards.

What some gullible ladies don't know is that the woman is always at the receiving end in the area of sexual matters. The man releases, the woman receives and carries the result thereafter.

If she's abandoned to carry the result, it's her and only her that will bear it alone; the man moves on to the next prey.

Since you've refused to learn from others, others will learn from yours! All I can say is: As u lay your bed, so you lie on it.

staicey:

Poster, first things first, just tell your parents.. you are a big lady not some child, am sure they wont scold you rather they would look for a means to help out.

Staicey,

At the bolded, come again? Do you think her parents would be happy that their daughter is preggy at this time of her life? No parent will take it lightly.

Infact, she should start preparing herself for the kind of lecture she has never received. She would wish she was never born after the lecture ends.

Yes, they would be there for her and stand by her after the initial brouhaha but this would be used as a reference point every now and then for her younger ones.

jennykadry: You are not serious @Op

Jenny oh Jenny; no time for nonsense!

Dear poster, I want you to first of all rephrase the title of this thread, because that guy was never your boyfriend. I don’t know what to call him, but ‘boyfriend’ is not one of them.

The first thing you need to do now is to let your family know about it, if not this guy will leave you in this country and travel out. I know that right now, confused is an understatement. I also know that you will be scared.

If you are scared of going directly to your mum ,go through any of your aunties or cousins, any female family member that is close to your mum. Be sober and make her realize that you are truly sorry. Of course you know she will be mad at you, which is very normal. Your action is very disgraceful but crucifying you won’t make it right.

After scolding you, they will help you approach your boyfriends family, from there you will know what next to do, but let both families know.
Please don’t abort that baby.please.

carmelion:
After scolding you, they will help you approach your boyfriends family, from there you will know what next to do, but let both families know.
Please don’t abort that baby.please.

What if there is no support system available to help rear the baby.
Even married couples delay parenting for this same reason
Its not right to expect my parents to rear my kid
They can help for a while but it should not be permanent
When she missed nysc/interview/aptitude tests because of morning sickness and preggie blues, who will support her

If men can look back on their offspring wit little or no inpunity why are women supposed to be the one to catch the falling plate.

mawuqueyan: There's no nid crying ova spilt milk,†ђξ deed has bn done...just inform U̶̲̥̅̊я̩̥̊ parents,A̶̲̅•̸Ϟ sure Uя mom wl av a positive way of approaching †ђξ issue...if †ђξ guy doesn't want it,KEEP it ΑϞ∂ raise †ђξ child...ΑϞ∂ after †ђξ child Ȋ̝̊̅§ born,gve †ђξ baby Ur fadas name...There's nOoº°˚ big deal i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ it..afterall He rejected †ђξ child...
All †ђξ best...

Why una dey write this bbm thing
Na chicken dey write so?

hey forget the trash some people are expressing here.
why will someone come up with a thread only to be abused or abased? if you have never made a mistake in your life then, the one that will befall you shall be greater than this.

if you cant solve a problem dont compound it.

@ op. it has happened, what is your intuition? only you know your situation. well, such is life.
nevertheless dont abort it and for your bf he is a fool of the century and i wish he will be made to take responsibilities of you and the unborn child. pregnancy is not a one side affair.

however, you need to be courageous to overcome this situation and never let it happen again.

the only person that will not condemn you is God, hold unto him firmly, and you will surely laugh at last.

kunle_j: hey forget the trash some people are expressing here.
-------

however, you need to be courageous to overcome this situation and never let it happen again.

the only person that will not condemn you is God, hold unto him firmly, and you will surely laugh at last.

u gave an advice but it does not give you right to call what others have said trash

RoyalRoy:


Because sex is now very cheap!!
Any nuisance with a little swag & cash to flash takes a bite!
You get my drift? *winks*

.....

Most advice seekers know what to do even b4 voicing out dia issue to odas. Deep inside of u know what u want already. I'm not here to criticise u cos we all make mistakes.
It's either U TERMINATE it or KEEP it.

Double wahala for dead body, for this hard times some guys are shying away from responsibilities. Deed has been done. You are out of school so u have nothing to loose, u can always serve any time. Truth is your relationship is yet to be defined as such, even if your mum or the guy's mum decide to take it up. They will have doubt as to who is responsible for the pregnancy. Does your mum or any siblings of yours know the guy? Do u even know the guy's family. Babes you can't keep on chasing shadow, the guy is not ready for that now. Just tell your mum, with her little support give birth to your baby that is if you think you love the guy enough to have a child for him. You can keep the child in motherless babies home for a while. Move on with your life. After service and God help you get a job. You can go and get your child, as for the guy coming back he must surely come back for his child it will only take time. The Lord is your strength.

why have an unprocted sex when you are not ready for babies...just 3months una don dive skin to skin,am sure you dont even know the guys hiv status...very risky..
Condom are now very cheap,atleast with just one thousand naira or so you can get an original one wey no go burst...una go use am fuccckk at the end no fear of pregnancy or stds and everyone will be happy...as simple as that..

@op
My dear,before I suggest what to do I need you to have a mental picture of what's coming
1.You have just graduated with no job or source of income.
2.You are pregnant which means you will require care,and diet change especially for the baby(most of what you do now has to consider the health of the baby first).
3.Except your parents are supportive considering the extra financial burden you will be not only that you have to consider if psychologically they are able to handle it,
4.Believe me when I tell you that as a mother you don't have holidays,there are days you will long to give your child the best in education etc but you are restrained because u do not have the capacity to do it oh yes your heart will break into several unmendable pieces cos you know your chilled deserves more.
5.Gradually you will begin to grow bitter and hateful of men,because you are so stressed thinking of how to manage meagre resources you will look older than your age and the dream of finding someone to share your life with might begin to fade.
6.You will wake up one morning and will realize you have done nothing with your life.
7.I have and am still counselling single mothers who fat e this challenge every day,asking themselves what if I had..........
8. Dilatation and Curretage when done by one who is qualified is safe and simple,you can discuss with. Your physician.
9.weigh your options dear and don't be run over by sentiments.