Dont attend the wedding
don't attend the wedding
you would not be able to take it in. you feel hurt and betrayed , you think you can handle it, but you cannot. besides his new wife would not appreciate you attending. who doesn't know that people can return back to their "ex" even after marriage. afterall he appreciated something in you in the first place.
I hate when men disrespect women. that is why it is very important for we women to treat ourselves respectfully. by God's grace,I don't sleep with guys . firstly for religous reasons , and simply because of cases like this. because sleeping with guys would add  to my feelings of being used and dumped , and believe me for a woman it is really hard to get past these loosers. so never allow any looser in your life, whether they are bornagainst , pastor o , whatever. infact I am a firm advocate for abstinence and shining eye before marriage. because love hurts u know. any way good luck to you if you attend. but you are going to get jealous, bitter, loose a lot of self-dignity. I promise you. you would regret going, you would feel like a fool , and his wife would slight you if her husband even common looks at you. so use your head. don't be a mugo, com on . God gave you brains. don't tell me you are such a mugo. because you are not. once beaten ten times shy.it is sympathetic that women like you fall prey to "so called" xtain men . plz use your head, I repeat use your head . you are not a fool so don't act like one. the guy is not worth it. believe me. don't even have anything to do with him again. plz if not if you go to the wedding , something may happen , you may end up cursing him, or crying or embarrasing yourself. or spoiling it. abeg girl you shoudn't even post this topic . just do what you have to do. I guaranttee you , you would meet a better guy who would treat you with respect. cheers sweet heart. . this is the post of someone who has been once beaten and has vowed never ever to allow herself to be mistreated again. because I'm not a rag. I deserve more than that. if I'm goin to be single so be it. I shall be single trusting God and getting rich than to be in a stupid relationship with a looser. I have zero tolerance for disrespectful men. who think they can take advantage of me. O girl wake up jare . as I de type self I de vest. the kind thing many heartless men de do for girls. make them commit abortion , etc. its so painful. I am a woman rights activists now. I am advocate for the rights of women world wide. I am not "gracious user" but I chose to use my sister's user name with permission because I felt I must reply this post. my name is Blessing.

do u still love him ? if yes then stay away do not go to the wedding
do u get along with your ex and his new wife, do u know longer have ANY feelings for him  and were you invited? if yes then you can go

sure u can attend the wedding, its his LOST besides, i guess there is a reason why you guys didnt end up marrying so dont hold any grudge and free ur mind, it makes it easier for you and worse for him, trow him off balance.

Did the Bobo promise to marry you or you just thought he was going to marry you? This is the third time i'm asking you (the Poster) this question. I need answer to it

Tell me why you want to attend?

I was going to say you should attend if you've started dating someone better than him, u know, like u should attend with your new guy, but come to think of it, your ex is getting married, if you go with your new guy, its all the same, those guys are all the same he (the new guy could do worse) if you were married , I could advise you to go, but as it is, its not worth it.

Stay back and make better use of your precious time.

its 2ways,u can attend the wedding and live with the revelations and consequences of that or u can sit urself @ home and wonder for the rest of days what it would hav been like if u did attend. "what u don't know kills u, but u dnt know it"
reach within ur heart and u'll knw which of the 2 its gonna be.

Listen to Gracious. Her words are pearls of wisdom. Don't attend.

You guys probably have friends in common & those ones will attend. Trust me, they will come back to gist you. There is no need putting yourself through any unnecessary stress to attend the wedding, because of the guy.

Afterall, he thought you were good enough for him to bed, but not good enough for him to wed.  Look, a lot of people who knew you & him as an item when you guys were dating, would be present at that wedding. And I can guarantee, you would be the main subject of their gossip. So why would you subject yourself to the indignity of having people gossip about you, because you attended his wedding?

Believe me my dear, it is not worth the stress. If you showed up, he might take it as a sign that you couldn't keep away from him, if he is as arrogant as you say he is.

So why bother? If you must attend a wedding, attend the weddings of those people who truly love you for who you are & value your presence in their lives. Not a two-timing jerk who took delight in stringing you along & toying with your feelings, when he had nothing decent to offer you.

My two cents.

AlphaDuo:

Guess you should just follow your heart, attending the wedding will probably not do any harm to you as a person. But it may be difficult for you to deal with the pain emotionally so you might want to just steer clear in that case. It might not be worth the time infact.

All the same, forgiveness is an important part of the healing and moving on.

She can forgive him from a distance.

to be candid if I were a lady I will attend even if not invited. I'm a guy but I need to accept that guys could be funny at times, ladies not left out though, the percentage only has its wide range to guy's madness. If you are strong enough emotionally to attend please do , mere seeing the whole thing happen may help to wipe him out your life for the better. Its such a painful act but God will see u tru. there are guys who had been victims of a ladies misconduct too, so I will rather not make a negative gender comment. As I said IF YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH  GO AND GOD WILL TAKE YOU ON.

attend his wedding. if U are still single, go rent a fine bobo who go compliment you

If that guy had married you ,the other girl would have been the one writing what you wrote. Probably he saw something or abilities or strength  in the other girl which you don't have call him and probabaly tell you if you have any weakness and try to amend it.
Show maturity and attend.

personally i dont think it's worth going to, but who knows u could go and meet a wonderful person there. But i fu do decide to go make sure u look sexy adn bring a freind with u, that way u wont look awkward . i wish u the best of luck in life. u know the funny thing about life is that nigerian men yes htey do get the opportunity to marry their first choice but because hre women pick what is available, the women end up cheating, especially in the US here. Oh and htey also resent the men deeply. I always tell my brother when u pick a woman make sure that she feels the same way about u, not the i love u because u cam back from america and picked me to marry, but the wow i love u because i felt it th emoment i laid eyes on you. oh well, i just warn all those nigerian men in the US, we women are a lot devious than u guys think. so save yourself some stress in your future, and pick hte girl that is made for u, not the one that society acknowledges.

Move on, get a lie, you seem to be in denial, just move on!

You go to the wedding and then what? Are you a maid of honour, MC or chief organizer?, no! Just an Ex , I know its hard and painful but man move the on, period, otherwise you will look desperate. On another hand unless he invited you, which I would find offensive, more like "Come and witness my happy life", you fill me?

baby4u2,busta,pcarl2,and bluenubian u have all spoken well i like the advice u gave her.4 me i will like u to make him feel bad.like wht my friends have said don't attend the weeding send him nd e-mail too.dont be angry wit him,just try to forgive him 4rm ur heart.if u can forgive him 4rm ur heart,God will definately give u another one dat is far better than he does. u dont know why God as taken him out of ur life he maight be a very bad husband.ok.this is my yahoomassager,talkt2german less talk.take care.

pati:

Its obvious your hurt from your tone, therefore i would suggest u don't attend the wedding because it would hurt u much more to see him marrying someone else .

yes i agree with you. don't go ,just forget about him.it hard but with time you will

Well, i really sympathsize with you, but like most nairalanders had advice, i guess u shuld move on with ur life, just imagine the scenario, u will go there , u will definately see his family and friends whom onced cherish and loved you , i can imagine the look on their faces, God knows wat picture the guy might have painted you before them, he might have told them u were cheating on him or all sorts, u then become a laughing stock with so many sorrys and self pity.
baby girl, the guy is not worth your gift not alone your prescence on his wedding day. the two timming born again ex boyfriend of yours doesnt deserve all the emotional stress you will pass thru on that wedding day if u go, he just make to make a fool of you, and spite you in the presence of all that knew wat u shared together.
my candid advice:
DONT GO FOR THE WEDDING,

laudate:

Listen to Gracious. Her words are pearls of wisdom. Don't attend.

You guys probably have friends in common & those ones will attend. Trust me, they will come back to gist you. There is no need putting yourself through any unnecessary stress to attend the wedding, because of the guy.

Afterall, he thought you were good enough for him to bed, but not good enough for him to wed. Look, a lot of people who knew you & him as an item when you guys were dating, would be present at that weding. And I can guarantee, you would be the main subject of their gossip. So why would you subject yourself to the indignity of having people gossip about you, because you attended his wedding?

Believe me my dear, it is not worth the stress. If you showed up, he might take it as a sign that you couldn't keep away from him, if he is as arrogant as you say he is.

So why bother? If you must attend a wedding, attend the weddings of those people who truly love you for who you are & value your presence in their lives. Not a two-timing jerk who took delight in stringing you along & toying with your feelings, when he had nothing decent to offer you.

My two cents.

@laudate
i sincerely agree with you

I say don't go, but if you have to go make sure you go with a couple of AK47 and bazooka. This is to teach his ass a lesson that you don't invite a woman you broke her heart to your wedding. A bullet in each butt cheeks will do the trick !

@orp,

Quite frankly I don't agree with you. What do you mean by "Probably he saw something or abilities or strength  in the other girl which you don't have call him and probabaly tell you if you have any weakness and try to amend it."?

For crying out loud, they were dating for 3 loo-oo-ong years, not months or days o! So all this time, he did not see the abilities or strength she lacked? If truly, there was something he needed from her which she lacked, couldn't he have made it known to her in a more tender, humane manner & assisted her to acquire those strengths or abilities she lacked? Puh-leeze!

Lack of strengths or abilities, was not why he left the poor girl. He merely saw another free 'body' to bang! Period. His self-interest was what pushed him into the other relationship.

So my dear girl Anabib, do not demean yourself by ever coming down to his level to ask what he saw in the other girl, or what he felt you lacked. You would be playing into his arrogant, twisted hands & he would see you as a pathetic, whining fool.

Walk out into the sunset, with your head held high. And don't even dignify his calls with an answer. Its' time to turn & close the door on pain & hollow emptiness. May the good Lord heal your heart. Peace.

look gbo nwanyi; do not attend that wedding if you are proud of yourself. every disappointment is Gods own appointment, keep praying to your God for a possitive future partner ok?

To all the people saying buy the a gift. I say don't you have already wasted time with him dont waste your money!

@LAUDATE

You are getting it wrong, Anabib precisely said ''apparently he had both of us and was trying out his luck'' which invariably means she new the guy was weighing the pros and cons of both of them. No guy would marry a lady based on sympathy or long endured relationship.Why I am saying this is because we have not heard from the guy in question and a case cannot be judged on the prayer of one party alone.

She said the relationship was for 3 years ,do you know if that 3 years was tale of woes? do you know if that 3 years was endured not enjoyed? do you know if the 3 years was for comparism between both of them?

She said the guy was a born again Christian and for your ex-girlfriend to confess that you are a devoted Christian that means you are almost a saint. This guy said the Holy Spirit spoke to him and the Holy Spirit sees beyond today and the future,the Holy Spirit knows what the future portends for both of them and a lot of doom might have been jettisoned by his action.

Anibab said ''Now he told me that he is getting married ( to a lady i have seen with his sisters in his picture when we were dating, i asked him on who she was then, and he said a friend)''. Who knows if the picture had been taken seven years before she saw it .The guy might have been dating the other lady for long before he met Anibab.

However, I am not holding brief for the guy but I want us to look at this issue holistically.

i advice u go to the wedding lookin very good with your self.

let him know u are better without him.

don't forget to buy him a present,something nice.

lol

sijibom:

i advice u go to the wedding lookin very good with your self.

let him know u are better without him.

don't forget to buy him a present,something nice.

lol

n mind dis gal jo. put magun on his wife, when he starts to do the summersault, he will remember you.

Yes now, you should eevn buy "Aso Ebi". I saw a couple of old flames at my wedding, the only thing I was scared of was that they may raise hands to prevent the wedding from happening. LOL

grace of god is sufficient for you my dear. he is not your husband. accept your fate and continue with your life. god is still alive and god is good.

@Lady T
Wow, You look good Baby, can i get your 411?

jump and pass

Attend which wedding? Bullshyt!!!

The daiz of "ohh let me just go so he won't think I'm so cruel" [/i]or[b][i] " Let me just be the nice girl that I am" [/b]is OVER! Enough of slacking, girls!

go do wetin for there?

Sweet T I will call 911 for you in a second LOL ( joke)

I really think if this lady feels she needs to go to this assholes wedding she must go empty handed.

Some Men have so much to answer for, F U C K E R S.

@gracious, tell blessing your sister that she is 99.9 percent right but the .1% that is missing is the most important part of the 100% which will make the 99.9% not to be counted because it is weak without the .1%. i have the .1% that she is missing out of the 100% which will make me go to the wedding if i was in these situation.

why honour him with your presence? even if you parted as friends what's the point?