I agree with every thing except for 5:

5. Does this person strengthen my faith?

As a Christian, I believe God’s design for marriage is that a husband and wife come together with Christ in the Center. Without Him at the foundation, the marriage will eventually crumble. Marry someone who not only shares your faith but also strengthens your faith. Your spouse should bring you closer to Jesus, not drag you farther away.

Just marry someone who has a similar world view and shares your principles. People like to confuse and/or convince themselves that it's the word of GOD that shapes their world view, whereas it's just society, parents, media etc etc that shape them. The word of God comes in after to justify their opinions or ideas.

I think it's an important distinction.

adewal15: Your comment is just like, entering a bus at a garage blindly and hoping to get to your destination.... Pls be practical when you think... Ignorance has a great effect hope you know?

Marriage is not like a bus, dont get it twisted.

Good write up. But few things make up a good marriage: Trust, Tolerance, commitment and independence(don't bug me and I would'nt bug you)

Two total strangers can meet from a one night stand and later marry one week later and stay happily married till death. No long thingz......[/quote] can you give an example of such marriages? I dont think so. Think before you post.

stagger: The questions are too vague. They should be more specific to our Naija setting.

1) Is the lady/guy the type of person who easily gets provoked?
2) How are quarrels and disagreements handled?
3) Is the lady submissive?
4) Does the guy love his wife to the point where he can die for her? Is he sacrificial? Can he decide to trek under hot sun so his wife can have the only car to enjoy the A/c, or is he the type that colonizes the car while his wife jumps around town in public transport?
5) Can the woman take correction or is she the type that is forever shouting back at her man and putting him down publicly?
6) Does the man treat the woman as his help mate or as his subordinate or an article of property?
7) Is the man clean? SOme guys throw their underwear and socks everywhere and expect the jackey horse of a wife to always pick up after him.
Is the man a provider? Will his attitude change if his wife starts to earn more than himself or will he still measure up to standard? Will the woman become heady and uncontrollable when her earning power supersedes that of the man?
9) Can the woman cook and do basic domestic stuff in the house?
10) Is the man a stingy fellow?
11) What is the attitude of the man to his mother and what is the attitude of the wife to her father? This will determine how they relate to the opposing inlaws and to themselves.
12) What is the spiritual story behind both the man and wife? Does untimely death, poverty or some other negative stuff run in the family line?

There are too many important questions to ask. Forget all those stupid janded questions that have no meaning in the real modern day marriage setting in Naija.

See what I mean, there are more questions turning up every second and by the time you finish asking yourself all these JAMB questions, you must have turned 45 years. There is no single proven route to successful marriages, just be yourself and choose wisely, too much of choosing will land you with a holy devil who had hidden his/her bad characters very craftily, only to turn to a monster later.

van bonattel: Load of rubbish, marriage have no defined formular. Two total strangers can meet from a one night stand and later marry one week later and stay happily married till death. No long thingz......

give an example of such happy marriages that resulted from a one night stand and i will start taking you serious.

Joythah: Two total strangers can meet from a one night stand and later marry one week later and stay happily married till death. No long thingz...... can you give an example of such marriages? I dont think so. Think before you post.

Can you give an example of two people who have implemented all those long list of rules and made a good marriage? I dont think so either!

[quote
author=stagger]The questions are too vague. They should be more
specific to our Naija setting.

1) Is the lady/guy the type of person who easily gets provoked?
2) How are quarrels and disagreements handled?
3) Is the lady submissive?
4) Does the guy love his wife to the point where he can die for her? Is
he sacrificial? Can he decide to trek under hot sun so his wife can have
the only car to enjoy the A/c, or is he the type that colonizes the car
while his wife jumps around town in public transport?
5) Can the woman take correction or is she the type that is forever
shouting back at her man and putting him down publicly?
6) Does the man treat the woman as his help mate or as his subordinate
or an article of property?
7) Is the man clean? SOme guys throw their underwear and socks
everywhere and expect the jackey horse of a wife to always pick up after
him.
Is the man a provider? Will his attitude change if his wife starts to
earn more than himself or will he still measure up to standard? Will
the woman become heady and uncontrollable when her earning power
supersedes that of the man?
9) Can the woman cook and do basic domestic stuff in the house?
10) Is the man a stingy fellow?
11) What is the attitude of the man to his mother and what is the
attitude of the wife to her father? This will determine how they relate
to the opposing inlaws and to themselves.
12) What is the spiritual story behind both the man and wife? Does
untimely death, poverty or some other negative stuff run in the family
line?

There are too many important questions to ask. Forget all those stupid
janded questions that have no meaning in the real modern day marriage
setting in Naija. [/quote]

now you're talking.

stagger: The questions are too vague. They should be more specific to our Naija setting.

1) Is the lady/guy the type of person who easily gets provoked?
2) How are quarrels and disagreements handled?
3) Is the lady submissive?
4) Does the guy love his wife to the point where he can die for her? Is he sacrificial? Can he decide to trek under hot sun so his wife can have the only car to enjoy the A/c, or is he the type that colonizes the car while his wife jumps around town in public transport?
5) Can the woman take correction or is she the type that is forever shouting back at her man and putting him down publicly?
6) Does the man treat the woman as his help mate or as his subordinate or an article of property?
7) Is the man clean? SOme guys throw their underwear and socks everywhere and expect the jackey horse of a wife to always pick up after him.
Is the man a provider? Will his attitude change if his wife starts to earn more than himself or will he still measure up to standard? Will the woman become heady and uncontrollable when her earning power supersedes that of the man?
9) Can the woman cook and do basic domestic stuff in the house?
10) Is the man a stingy fellow?
11) What is the attitude of the man to his mother and what is the attitude of the wife to her father? This will determine how they relate to the opposing inlaws and to themselves.
12) What is the spiritual story behind both the man and wife? Does untimely death, poverty or some other negative stuff run in the family line?

There are too many important questions to ask. Forget all those stupid janded questions that have no meaning in the real modern day marriage setting in Naija.

Gbam! End of story, this shud be a thread on its own! True talk

van bonattel: Load of rubbish, marriage have no defined formular. Two total strangers can meet from a one night stand and later marry one week later and stay happily married till death. No long thingz......

Of course its very possible - in the highly fantasized world of Mills and Boon romance, that is.

Get a grip on reality

Emusan: Nice write up!
Thank God mine is still far, dancing Kekure

oga,whch 1 be kekure? Na d new dance wey de reign?

huni_naija: Important questions.. However if I decide to marry a guy it means I was attracted to his physical looks, so I don't think that's really important.

Another question should be about finances, will there be a joint bank account during our marriage? Or separate accounts??

babe e be like say u like account thngs..i like am too.

princesa:

now you're talking.

dis ur questions wicked..hw can i be trekin 4 hot sun mk she dey inside A/c? Dm swear 4 me? We hav 2 be on it 2gother..either 4 A/C or hot sun.

Everything was good until I saw number 6, what Bullshite. Please remove that from there...haba...what's my family's business with who I marry especially when they judge based on sentiments and prejudice.

Lyk 20yrs abi?

1.Does my partner have the SS genotype?

2.Is there any history of mental illness in my partner's family that could affect my children?

3. Does my partner have an overbearing family who would just rain down ALL their financial problems on me once we are married?

4.Is my partner wanted for murder/fraud/ in another country?

5.Is my partner gay?

6.Have the former lovers of my partner all died?If yes,why?

Many pertinent questions to ask...:-D

[quote author=Emusan]Nice write up!
Thank God mine is still far, dancing Kekure[ lyk 20yrs abi?]

victorazy: Nice one!
Only that number (6) shouldn't be found anywhere on the list!

My thought exactly.

CongrÄtulations on ur wedding. . I hope ur wife knows she's gat a playa for life and that's no bull shit*in'

doofanc:

Of course its very possible - in the highly fantasized world of Mills and Boon romance, that is.

Get a grip on reality

It is you who is very far from reality. The reality is that before you finish answering all those questions, the serious ones are already married and having kids.

LOVE + TOLERANCE + SINCERITY = Marriage

Two good women married Okotie to increase them in faith but what did they get? DIVORCE

Lion of Judah nko?

Pastor Chris Of Christian Devotional ‘Daily Manna’ nko? He betrayed his wife

freecocoa: This is very good write up.

I know someone can love another without liking the person, I just wonder and don't get how this happens.

My definition of both love and like may make it clearer.love is a delibrate decision to be at d service of d oda person weda he/she deserves it or nt wyl like is an emotional connection we've with a persn.we dnt choose who we like,it just hapns.we most tyms like ppl n dnt knw y we like them.

ebamma: . Will he be able to satisfy me in bed #i can

GBAM. This is question number two take it or leave it.

[quote
author=Soso990240]dis ur questions wicked..hw can i be trekin 4 hot sun
mk she dey inside A/c? Dm swear 4 me? We hav 2 be on it 2gother..either
4 A/C or hot sun.[/quote]

take it with the connotative meaning, it doesn't mean what you think, its about the ability of the man to sacrifice, not necessarily a car. ok?

Dranatomy: Check out his or her family covenants and pedigree FIRST and settle same once and for all before asking all those questions...

I think this should come after those questions have been answered.Of what use is it, if at the end of breaking yokes you find out both of you are just not compatible?

question: Ask these questions about yourself first before asking about the spouse.

Marriage is about being the right person not marrying the right person.

True, but both arent mutually exclusive.

Also, its important to realize values have changed, and what held in the past doesnt necessarily apply now.

For example, majority of the youths now sag their pants and aim to be like their role models in the entertainment world - six pack, sunshades, fancy rides, prefering their women to dress revealingly, etc.

At some point in time, these men may want to get married as well, either sooner or later. They'll definitely have nothing in common with a traditionally minded type who doesnt even understand rap music.

So, whoever they decide to marry, might need to share the same mindset as them, and be into their lingo, habits, lifestyle and so on.

tpia1: Also, its important to realize values have changed, and what held in the past doesnt necessarily apply now.

For example, majority of the youths now sag their pants and aim to be like their role models in the entertainment world - six pack, sunshades, fancy rides, prefering their women to dress revealingly, etc.

At some point in time, these men may want to get married as well, either sooner or later. They'll definitely have nothing in common with a traditionally minded type who doesnt even understand rap music.

So, whoever they decide to marry, might need to share the same mindset as them, and be into their lingo, habits, lifestyle and so on.

You are correct, and thats why I was telling them there is no list needed for successful marriage, it can happen anyway, anyhow, anytime.

Hmmmm

Nice........thread but if this is ur idea of marriage den u definitely need an upgrade because even my nephew in 5th grade can understand some of these issues,,, more important tins in marriage are finance, family history, perseverance, fate n a whole lot,,, am not ready for marriage yet but I tink there's a lot to worry Abt than just likes n time here

ebamma: . Will he be able to satisfy me in bed #i can

You're a stuupid little man