[b]Before I go into this, I would like to plead to all ye Nairalanders to take what I am about to write serious. It is 100% real. No fabrications whatsoever. I’ve noticed of late that we have so many immature people who think that hiding behind the computer throwing out insults and trash while sitting in the comfort of their living rooms is the next best thing after sliced bread. I know I cannot control what is being said or done on a public forum, but it would be nice if we could avoid all these “first to comment, I’m dancing azonto” or “let me go ask my oga at the top” or any of the silly things that have come to define the everyday posts of many nairalanders. Thank you very much in advance.

I used to work for an IT company in Lagos as one of the sales representatives. We were a fairly steady company as we got quite a number of contracts to network and supply Internet access and network security from several other companies and even from Lagos state government. I had a good life and a lovely fiancée, who happened to work as the PA to one of the managers in this same place I worked. We were engaged and we had already started planning out our marriage, which we had fixed for sometimes in June or July this year. I had even secured an admission to study for my masters in the US. So I basically had everything swimming well for me.

Everything just came to a screeching halt to me one fateful week. The management wanted us to upgrade our servers and we needed an outside contractor to get us the equipment. I happened to know a couple of guys who could handle this so I gave them a call. The contract was for about three million Naira. Seeing this as a good opportunity for my guys, I brought them in and introduced them to the manager. They seemed genuine enough so I was told to write out a proposal and they all signed. We paid them 2 million upfront to procure the equipment with the promise to balance up the rest once the project was done.

There is this saying that the bad eggs in the basket have made the good ones smell. Immediately these guys got the check, they withdrew the money and disappeared. Everyone began to panic when we didn't hear from them by the time they had promised. The focus of their anger now pointed straight at me, since I was the one that brought them to the company. After a full month without hearing from these guys, we had to accept the fact that we had been duped. The company suspended me without pay. The managers got so angry they had the police arrest me and lock me up. Everyone assumed I had something to do with it, but I knew I was innocent. Why would I want to defraud the company? It was an honest mistake.


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[b]They kept on sending people to me to force me to confess, but I kept on denying I had anything to do with it. The one that really got to me was when they sent my fiancee to me. I had expected her to trust me and believe I was innocent even if no one else did, but imagine my surprise when she came one day to see me in the cell and told me to confess or else our engagement was over. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I told her I had expected her to support me. After about two weeks, she came to me again and gave me the ring I had given her earlier when I proposed, saying that she cannot get married to a thief. I was so sad. The only person who supported me all the way was my friend and colleague. He was the one who kept my head above water, always encouraging me and telling me not to give up. He hired a lawyer and got a SARS team to track down these fraudsters, all on his own pay. Without him I don’t know what would have happened to me.

After about two months in police detention, one fateful Tuesday afternoon, I had just finished saying my afternoon prayers at the corner of my cell when my friend and the lawyer came to see me. They said the SARS team had managed to track down one of the fraudsters to Onitsha and were on their way to pick him up. I collapsed to my knees in prayer. The following day, they had picked him up and brought him back to Lagos. After confessing, they picked up the other two guys and within a week, they had released me.

To cut a long story short, everyone that was against me started begging me for forgiveness. Even the managers re-hired me and promised me a juicy position with a much better pay. They bought me a Prado jeep and said they will send me on holiday. My “fiancee” came back pleading, saying that she was sorry, that the managers forced her to confront me or else they would sack her. Her siblings and parents also called to beg. After so much thought, I accepted her back and gave her the ring. But deep inside me, I knew it was no longer the same.

I decided to act. A week after my cruise on company pay, I consulted my lawyer and told him I wanted to sue the company. He told me the best bet was to file a civil charge against the company, stating “defamation of character” as my case. The only problem he told me was I may lose my job. I said screw them. It was about time I left the place anyways and the time for my studies was around the corner. He wrote the petition and we decided to sue them for 5.3 million.
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[b]After a long one month, I won the case. The company was ordered to pay me the money. The day I was handed the check was the day I was given my sack letter. I told them to shove it up their keesters and got my money. I paid the lawyer the 300k and thanked him. My fiancee was shocked and I told her they deserved it.

I planned for my journey, but kept it a secret from everyone. The night I was supposed to travel was when I had decided to let everyone know. Just as I was waiting to board the plane I called my “fiancée” and told her that this was it. I had put all my hopes and trust in her but she had failed me at my time of need. Not what I was looking for in a wife-to-be. I told her she can keep the ring as a reminder of our times together, but at that moment I was about leaving the country and I wasn’t coming back soon. She bawled and begged me on the phone, but I just hung up.

I kept in touch with my friend as time went by and he told me the girl was a wreck. He said he knows that she betrayed my trust but I should forgive her. My parents themselves said she and her parents came to see them one Saturday afternoon to plead with them for me to accept her back.
I know it is a tough decision, but I doubt if we can get back together. One thing is telling me to take her back, as this could be a test of my love for her, and another thing is saying I should just bone the babe and focus on mending my broken heart. Mind you, I still love the girl but she drove a red-hot spike through my heart, and it would take a lot of time for it to heal. Besides even if I was to take her back, it wouldn’t be anytime soon.
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HMmmm. Very daisy I must say.

Ma take is this. Thru ur frnd get info wether she's dating any of the managers

If not u can give her another chance

Take her back only if you want to. Never because there is a people pressure on you. When the chips are down, people will not be there.

Wow.........give it time
Forgive her but you re not obliged to marry her

I know it is a tough decision, but I doubt if we can get back together. One thing is telling me to take her back, as this could be a test of my love for her, and another thing is saying I should just bone the babe and focus on mending my broken heart. Mind you, I still love the girl but she drove a red-hot spike through my heart, and it would take a lot of time for it to heal. Besides even if I was to take her back, it wouldn’t be anytime soon.

And when she had her own test of love for you, did she pass?

I personally cannot stand a fair weather friend
It's as good as no friend


But like I said take your time clear your head and time will tell

Op,first of all, I'm happy for you!
My take is: you can't really blame that babe for not trusting you enough. This is Naija. Anybody can do and undo.
Pls forgive her for she has done nothing unusual.

Very sad situation.
No one is above mistakes, but she screwed up at such a critical point in your life. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If you were found guilty, would she render this apology? Or would she let you rot in jail?

Just one tin, follow ur heart.

I will not tell you what to do, but I cannot keep a friend who deserted me in my hour of need.God forbid.
I mean when the whole world gives me it's back, I should be able to count on you. That is what friends are for.
The down moment should be the ultimate test of our friendship.
Do as your conscience demands.

Did she feel distraught when you were in detention? Did she value you above her job? Assuming you were still in detention today would she be waiting for you or move on with her life? Recently, a woman was reported to have hired assassins who eliminated her husband on suspicion that the man wanted to marry another wife. My humble submission is that the lady in question is a fair-weather partner and not worthy to sign the " for better,for worse" contract with. She cant compromise her job for you (who knows what she sacrificed to get the job). The truth is you can never trust her again if you eventually marry her.

Doesn't sound like u can live wit wht she has done. In my opinion even if she thought u were guilty (n even if had been guilty)...if she loved u unconditionally she wld have stil stuck by u n rather guided u along the rite path. This wil haunt u and always leave doubt in ur mind...not healthy. I wldnt take her back...then again it's easy to say tht but once in the situation urself mite b a totally differnt ball game altogether.....more especially cause u love her.

kunleajaye:

My take is if no one else trusted me and believed me, she should be the last person that will do that. What my buddy did for me during that period was what i had expected her to do. She was my fiancee for God's sake. Imagine your fiancee, the person you've chosen to be your wife and mother of your children, someone you've decided to spend the rest of your life with, now turning around and calling you a thief in that manner. It still hurts so bad.

How old was the relationship?

very touching! but to answer your question straight. forget her and move on. what if justice was not done, you would have been rotting in jail while she enjoys and even marries another man.
Lesson to learn: all these 'i love you, i love you too' for beer parlor or inside your car while drinking 5alive,, you can only know who truly loves you in time of temptation/trouble.

one sentence.. Let her go.. Even if u take her back, things will never be the same.. These things happen... And when it does all u have to do is be strong and move on.. Believe me.. You will be back here to thank me... !

If you were my brother, i woudn't advice you to go on with the relationship..
A lady that cant stay with her man in times of trouble is not worth keeping...



Fair weather friend...

Kai d babe messed up. What's love or courtship without total trust in ur partner even when he has told u eyeball to eye that he is innocent. Love alone can't sustain marriage; like folks above v said, she's just a fair weather fiancee'.
My take is; bone her, take ur chances n explore, d right one Os out there for u. God just saved u from bigger trouble I think.

It's one thing if she asked if you were guilty and suspected, that's different but mehn to threaten you with the breaking of the relationship, mehn that's totally conditioning you, in her mind she already assumed you did it, its natural to suspect you, its human plus na Naija we dey, but how fast she was quick to change sides,at least she cud have play a minimal role because its dangerous if she supports you especially if she works for that company, to be frank i can't say you should take her back or not, that's up to you, plus am not that matured to give such advices, but at least you can forgive her. best advice was that you decided to leave and better your yourself, wish you all the best in life.

If this is is really true, and I want to believe it is, LEAVE her ALONE! Never take her back!

I would not advise you to take her back.
I learnt this lesso the hard way. For the one you want to give your life to, to abandon you when you need help the most is something else.
You sound like you would never ever forget it which is absolutely expected from one who was truly in love.
She should have been the last person to leave your side.
Once she asked and you denied being involved it should have been enough for her to do what your friend did.
Even if you were actually guilty, she should still have stuck by you because you needed help the most then.

This same thing happened to my uncle and his wife and it made them stronger.
Personally I have had the only person I loved turn his back when he heard stories about me that were lies. I loved him that i even owned up to things i didnt do becaus ehe said if i just confess to doing them he would take me back. When i finally realised what he was turning me into, i realised I loved him but i wouldnt marry someone who turned against me because everyone else did.
She valued her job more. She dumped a man in a poilce cell. Thats harsh.

Love doesn't seek to pour fuel into fire. Even if she didnt believe you, someone that kicks you when you are already down is someone you should keep from. You were already suffering and she dumped you when you were already in soo much trouble. thats cruel. She could go on with going to work everyday and gisting with friends and going to church and all that normal living when her husband to be was languishing in a police cell for a crime that he denies being involved in? Haba! I expected her to be a mess when you were in jail and not when you were acquittedHer reason is that she wanted to keep her job She should have resigned at the point where her bosses threw you in a cell if she couldnt convince them that you were innocent.

She was ok working for people that threw her future husband into a police cell? She should not be able to stand even her parents disrespect you. Not to talk of her continuing to serve and go on errands and receive salary from men that treated her husband in such a manner.
Life tested her love for you and it turned out to not be real. That thing that broke can never be fixed. thats the painful truth.

I wouldn't advice you to take her back.

Thats my take.
I pray to not be with someone who leaves me when am so down and need the most help. I pray to marry a man that can stay by my side through thick and thin because I know I would do the same for him. Amen.

The painful thing is that she would never forgive herself for her actions.

It shows how easily she can do without you. It shows how comfortable she can be when you, thats her husband in sooo much distress. I cant believe she wasnt at that police station everyday to try to get you out. I cant believe she wasnt calling lawyers 100 times a day. I cant believe she wasnt tracking down thieves. She was instead giving you back your ring.

She was attempting to move on with her life when you were in a police cell, for a crime you denied being guilty of.

She was way too quick to move on.
This situation was, among other things, meant to forewarn you about the laxity of your relationship with her.

She is a mess because you were released and counted yet again amongst the living, free and bed-rosey. If you were not released, you would be the subject of disdain in one of her many "my ex" stories.

What kind of company allows such relationships? A Sales Rep dating a P.A. in the same company? Don't they have policies against such fraternization? Moreso, to the extent of sending her to extract information from you...while in detention?? Chei!

Besides, what's with the figures and overly elaborate descriptions? The story sounds false and unevenly exaggerated. No offence please.

kunleajaye: He wrote the petition and we decided to sue them for 5.3 million. After a long one month, I won the case. The company was ordered to pay me the money. The day I was handed the check was the day I was given my sack letter.

You sued a company for 5.3million naira and you got a court judgment in your favour within one month

Is this court in Nigeria or Tanzania

@OP
you are talented. You will make an excellent writer of "mills and boon" novels

Don't!!! Even if there is a gun pointing at my head, i ain't taking her back.

funkybaby:

You sued a company for 5.3million naira and you got a court judgment in your favour within one month :o

Is this court in Nigeria or Tanzania

@OP
you are talented. You will make an excellent writer of "mills and boon" novels

Lmfao! Hmmm...na so we see am o! Blockbuster everywhere. if u ask am, who I go ask?

^^^^