Jollof: My girl and I went to see Jack and the Beanstalk Jack the Giant Slayer last night and it was more entertaining than I had anticipated (Though I never noticed any female giants, which begs the question, 'How on earth were such a mythical army of 'males' born in the first place?). We arrived in good time, bought the calorie-adding popcorn and fizzy drink, plus we were the third couple to walk into the screening room, allowing us to pick choice seats. Unfortunately there was one critical factor we were completely unprepared for and had no way of predicting - the unpredictability of Nigerian cinema goers. *flexes fingers*

1. Talking on their phones. Whilst we watched Fee Fi Fo Fum confront Jack, I had to hold myself from not confronting the buffoon on my row who was answering a mobile phone call. He made no attempt to whisper - you could hear every single word he was saying (so much so that I heard him say he would call back in 10 minutes when he knew fully well that the movie had another hour to go! Seriously?!!). He must have talked for a good 3 minutes with no interruptions - not even a 'shush' from anyone in the audience...bizarre. I know what I was thinking of telling him (To know what that was, click here only if you're 18 or older).

2. Putting their feet up on the seat in front. Despite the fact that the seats in Silverbird Cinemas Ikeja can be reclined (just like you have on airplanes) some movie goers here still feel the need to milk every possible position of comfort. Not only is putting your feet up on someone else's seat bad manners but it also makes the poor person sat in that chair look like a bunny rabbit with dirty ears! (imagine the soles of two shoes on top of someone's head).

3. Bringing babies under 1 year. I'm no expert on babies but I'm pretty sure that exposing their tiny eardrums to thunderous explosions aptly amplified by Dolby surround speakers (just for good measure) would not aid hearing development. I can understand the challenges of finding a trustworthy babysitter or persuading a relative to watch over the baby. However, there's always the earplugs option, the rent-a-DVD option or the wait-till-the-movie-comes-out-on- DVD option. For God's sake, prioritize! baby first, giants later!

4. Talking to the cinema screen. We all get carried away sometimes. But when there are other people around you there should be limits. At what point would a movie watcher realize that all his warnings and pockets of advice are not being ignored by the movie characters - THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE IT IS ONLY A MOVIE! Or maybe they just feel the people around them are probably so dim that we need an indirect explanation to bring us up to speed >> 'Thanks but I watched the movie synopsis, I'm familiar with this sort of mythological theme and story-line, and most importantly I have over 25 years of movie-watching experience!' Keep your commentary to yourself and STFU refer to the link in point 1.

5. Standing up minutes before the movie ends. Some Nigerians just don't get the full value of what they pay for simply because they lack patience. Take for instance the blockbuster movie The Avengers which had some added movie footage after the credits. Other notable movies with added footage include, THOR and Fast Five. It wouldn't hurt to just sit tight for another 3 minutes just to be sure that you haven't missed a sneak preview into any possible sequels. Or don't they even want to know the name of that really good actress with the nice butt and sexy accent or the hunk with the biceps and piercing blue eyes? (for example). I frankly don't care if they stay or go but they usually disrupt my viewing pleasure as they make no attempt to crouch as they pass in front of me - inconsiderate bunch of *#@%?!!

Alas, I have come to the end of my intended rant. If you've been a victim then I'm sure you can relate to this article. If you have other annoying things people (not necessarily Nigerians) do in the movie theaters then please spill the magic beans

Dyt: Unnecessary screaming
If u know u can't take d heat, y nt jst simply watch in ur house

Hugoboi:

Is there even anything like the bolded?

Orikinla:
[size=28pt]
Majority of them grew up without movie theaters so they lack the company manners.
Actually majority of Nigerians are ill-bred by parents who are intellectually re-tarded.[/size]

blink182: I haven't seen a girl make more nonsense of herself. God forbid I date an uncultured girl like you. No single class at all and I doubt you can even fake it if you try. Bush girl, I know picking your nose in public is acceptable to you.

manny4life:

Mr bred well behavior, this is standard behaviors in most theaters, at least for the ones mostly in the U.S., and in my own area. The bottom line is you get used to it with time or simply don't go, it's not all movies that I go to see, better yet, I go when there's a lesser type of crowd and timing is important. If u go around
9pm, there's less children and more adults than if u go around 12-7pm...

billante: See forming for here Mtcheew! people wey never go a cinema or dey ogbomosho dey follow talk

manny4life:

Mr bred well behavior, this is standard behaviors in most theaters, at least for the ones mostly in the U.S., and in my own area. The bottom line is you get used to it with time or simply don't go, it's not all movies that I go to see, better yet, I go when there's a lesser type of crowd and timing is important. If u go around 9pm, there's less children and more adults than if u go around 12-7pm...

fuckluv: This is what happened in a crowdy place, so not surprised. Ve never been to the cinema here in naija cos i know how "my pple" behave.

ITbomb: Cuddling a girl in the front row
c'mon there are darker out-of-sight seats around. I paid for the 'hunger games', not for 'bold 5 babes'

clue:
Going to cinema na luxury for you abi?
Guy for uyo, na 300 naira per movie!

el_nino:

My guy na 250 bucks o...

but on a serious note, aside from the entertainment factor there is always and informative factor to every movie( not naija ones sha) so even me i do wait read the credits learn who did what etc. also if the movie had a nice soundtrack you can see the artist and writer along with the credits....Now thats informative...

otilexy: busy body,jealousy! Who ask u not to come wit ur neighbor since u don't ve a girlfriend?

Orikinla:
[size=28pt]
Majority of them grew up without movie theaters so they lack the company manners.
Actually majority of Nigerians are ill-bred by parents who are intellectually re-tarded.[/size]

rhymz: hahahahhaha. . . This got me cracking. Grand dad and his knack for turning everything into a song.
Can't even remember the last time I was in a Cinema. . . That time silverbed and co never dream of cinema na. . . . Those days of Indian and Chinese films, then Commando Rambo and co. . . I remember that Cinema in Ola market, the space has been taken over now by Redeem. . . You go dey watch film like this person go dey shout on to reactions. . .lol. . Mehn, who get time these days sef for such.

Dubemkelly: Cinema z a public place n u shud learn 2 tolerate, peeps gatta do wah dey deem fit, u cnt stop screaming esp by gurls,moving in nd out is humane, just see d movie n take ur ass off d cinema....No dull urself on top bike cos Oga @d top has nva sent u there,I presume u hv gone there out of ur own will

adexsimply: y wuld i go to a cinema? a waste of precious coding time

dedons: bros na ilasa u dey stay?

Orikinla:
[size=28pt]
Majority of them grew up without movie theaters so they lack the company manners.
Actually majority of Nigerians are ill-bred by parents who are intellectually re-tarded.[/size]

Jollof: My girl and I went to see Jack and the Beanstalk Jack the Giant Slayer last night and it was more entertaining than I had anticipated (Though I never noticed any female giants, which begs the question, 'How on earth were such a mythical army of 'males' born in the first place?). We arrived in good time, bought the calorie-adding popcorn and fizzy drink, plus we were the third couple to walk into the screening room, allowing us to pick choice seats. Unfortunately there was one critical factor we were completely unprepared for and had no way of predicting - the unpredictability of Nigerian cinema goers. *flexes fingers*

1. Talking on their phones. Whilst we watched Fee Fi Fo Fum confront Jack, I had to hold myself from not confronting the buffoon on my row who was answering a mobile phone call. He made no attempt to whisper - you could hear every single word he was saying (so much so that I heard him say he would call back in 10 minutes when he knew fully well that the movie had another hour to go! Seriously?!!). He must have talked for a good 3 minutes with no interruptions - not even a 'shush' from anyone in the audience...bizarre. I know what I was thinking of telling him (To know what that was, click here only if you're 18 or older).

2. Putting their feet up on the seat in front. Despite the fact that the seats in Silverbird Cinemas Ikeja can be reclined (just like you have on airplanes) some movie goers here still feel the need to milk every possible position of comfort. Not only is putting your feet up on someone else's seat bad manners but it also makes the poor person sat in that chair look like a bunny rabbit with dirty ears! (imagine the soles of two shoes on top of someone's head).

3. Bringing babies under 1 year. I'm no expert on babies but I'm pretty sure that exposing their tiny eardrums to thunderous explosions aptly amplified by Dolby surround speakers (just for good measure) would not aid hearing development. I can understand the challenges of finding a trustworthy babysitter or persuading a relative to watch over the baby. However, there's always the earplugs option, the rent-a-DVD option or the wait-till-the-movie-comes-out-on- DVD option. For God's sake, prioritize! baby first, giants later!

4. Talking to the cinema screen. We all get carried away sometimes. But when there are other people around you there should be limits. At what point would a movie watcher realize that all his warnings and pockets of advice are not being ignored by the movie characters - THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE IT IS ONLY A MOVIE! Or maybe they just feel the people around them are probably so dim that we need an indirect explanation to bring us up to speed >> 'Thanks but I watched the movie synopsis, I'm familiar with this sort of mythological theme and story-line, and most importantly I have over 25 years of movie-watching experience!' Keep your commentary to yourself and STFU refer to the link in point 1.

5. Standing up minutes before the movie ends. Some Nigerians just don't get the full value of what they pay for simply because they lack patience. Take for instance the blockbuster movie The Avengers which had some added movie footage after the credits. Other notable movies with added footage include, THOR and Fast Five. It wouldn't hurt to just sit tight for another 3 minutes just to be sure that you haven't missed a sneak preview into any possible sequels. Or don't they even want to know the name of that really good actress with the nice butt and sexy accent or the hunk with the biceps and piercing blue eyes? (for example). I frankly don't care if they stay or go but they usually disrupt my viewing pleasure as they make no attempt to crouch as they pass in front of me - inconsiderate bunch of *#@%?!!

Alas, I have come to the end of my intended rant. If you've been a victim then I'm sure you can relate to this article. If you have other annoying things people (not necessarily Nigerians) do in the movie theaters then please spill the magic beans

Orikinla:
[size=28pt]
Majority of them grew up without movie theaters so they lack the company manners.
Actually majority of Nigerians are ill-bred by parents who are intellectually re-tarded.[/size]

Dyt: Unnecessary screaming
If u know u can't take d heat, y nt jst simply watch in ur house

Mzflakkie: U no get work abi. Iranu U no get work abi. Iranu