coogar: the dude has since confirmed she knew about this 2-hour ritual and she has only ever joked about his closenes to his bøsom friend.

zeefa:

The whole issue is actually getting tough. But I still hope & pray God will sort us out. Right now am facing 3 challenges which if care is not taken on the final decision, it might end up being a genesis of a life time in my family.

Here they are;
1. The Friendship between dayo & I
2. Divorce saga btw us
3. My mother inlaw as a new driving force.

Renny was trained by a single mother in the city of Kent. They are just TWO from her mother, being the first with a younger brother, I noticed even while we were dating that she always like to know everything going on between us. And moreover, they are so close even more than the way I see myself & dayo but I never for one day complained about it.

They are like sisters because they discuss virtually everything.....
I believe people will be able 2 see reason why I said things are getting critical. I can't be a dummy, and som1 a mother inlaw from no where wld now have total control in my house without my own stand as a man in the house.

Even if I decided to reduce this so called calls, would that stop my mother inlaw from still pushing in more things to make her daughter get a free control over my own home.

Renny is 3months pregnant yet she insisted on d threat for divorce couple up with her mum influence in the case. Well, I still have up to 3weeks 2 sort this out! Bt the BIG question is how to handle it against future challenges.

O ti fe ma su mi o!

baby_123:

Being that your wife is from a broken home. Did you guys discuss about that aspect of her life and how she hopes to avert it in the future before getting married? What is her stance on divorce and a broken home? If she doesnt mind it, then the divorce is inevitable. Whether today or tomorrow. Now and in the future. Just come straight out and tell her to choose between her family and her mother. That you are willing to work things out in a reasonable manner, as long as the mum stays out of your business as a couple. I think you should also let the mother know in a respectful way that you know what she is doing, and you will appreaciate if she doesnt interfere in your family business.

zeefa:

We didn't discuss that! Yes from a broken home.
Whatever the case may be, I will try and see how to handle my inlaws case on the issue of interference.

jidegirl12: Now we are deviating from Dayo's issue!

OP 'owo ara eni la fi ntunwa ara eni she'...... mother's bond can never be broken but since third party boundary is never your thing , she joined the exploit bandwagon too.


Baby steps..... change your Lordy Lordy ways and have heart to heart talk with your wife like really let her know you're about to change your ways and she needs to caution her mom.

baby_123: No responsible mother will tell their daughter to divorce the husband over such a thing. It is all childish and seems like a joke.

zeefa:

We didn't discuss that! Yes from a broken home.
Whatever the case may be, I will try and see how to handle my inlaws case on the issue of interference.

chaircover: Mr Zeefa you dont want your MIL in your marriage but Dayo is free to be in it.

I think you all need professional marriage counseling, cos noone seems to know what is expected of them. You all need to go back to the basics.

I'm going to bed . . .ive been on NL for 2 hours and football is over

ileobatojo:

+1

I fail to see what's the new complexity all of a sudden. Face your wife and resolve it with her abi? Why are you having such a hard time with this? Do you two communicate with each other at all? As in, really talk deeply about issues? Perhaps, you need to examine why not.

ileobatojo:

Unless they know or suspect something more....

baby_123:

Suspects what exactly? That he is ga*y? Why will a grown woman, a supposedly wise woman tell her child to divorce her husband over a friend? Just because they are too close? They have not told OP that they suspect he is ga*y. Nothing to that effect was highlighted on this thread. The fact of the matter is, his MIL most likely isn't a responsible or respectable woman. If she wishes well for her child, she will even draw the guy close and talk to him. No hidden intentions or discussions. This is ridiculous. If the OP doesnt curb the MIL, then i am afraid he has walked into a disaster.

jidegirl12:

And how are you sure she hasn't? You actually trust this OP? He just changed his tone just so you don't know, he's one rude fella! dammit where's by bag and my keys!

jidegirl12: *Sighs* baby love yes I've had fracas with him earlier but so was with other posters here that tried to convince him about the ridiculous amount of time he converses with his friend everyday!

That being said, OP knows he's the bullseye on this thread and that's why he's shifting focus from himself.

Once again, Baby steps..... Rome wasn't built in a day, he already caused his problems , he should have a heart to heart talk with his wife and they should both make promises to keep those people ( MIL & Dayo) on their sides in check simple!

Marriage is about sacrifices most times.

About the gay thingy, well don't you think 2 hrs a day buddy talk ritual is awkward? Not that there's anything wrong with being gay? I love em !

dayokanu: ^^ I suggest the OP bulges to the threat, And he issue a counter threat by telling the wife never to talk to her mother again else they would divorce.

OP stops talking to Dayo, Wife stops taking to her mother. SHIKENA

Hope she would agree to that cos the same reason why Dayo is intruding can be used for the MIL as well.

Just as the MIL was instrumental in being where she is today so was Dayo in him being where he is today

jidegirl12: *Sighs* baby love yes I've had fracas with him earlier but so was with other posters here that tried to convince him about the ridiculous amount of time he converses with his friend everyday!

That being said, OP knows he's the bullseye on this thread and that's why he's shifting focus from himself. He's one smart dude.

Once again, Baby steps..... Rome wasn't built in a day, he already caused his problems , he should have a heart to heart talk with his wife and they should both make promises to keep those people ( MIL & Dayo) on their sides in check simple!

Marriage is about sacrifices most times.



About the gay thingy, well don't you think 2 hrs a day buddy talk ritual is awkward? Not that there's anything wrong with being gay? I love em !

dayokanu: Thats the thing when you are married

You cant talk or hang out with your friends that must mean you are sleeping with them. You must not talk too much with your family too much else it means you are phoccking your parents, you must not talk too much with your neighbors else you are nyanshing them, must not watch TV too much not use phone too much, not use computer too much else you are cheating, if you go to work too much you are phocking your oga or colleague

Try adjust your life, Just sleep wake up go to work and look her in the face 24hrs daily at least that would make her happy

Marriage is for men to make women happy without consideration for whatever makes the man happy. You wonder why men still die before women


All your friends contribution to her passing the PLAB is inconsequential, Maybe she should have rejected the help and banned the friendship when she was getting those help


Sarcasm at its best!

ileobatojo:

Step 2: Move in with Dayo. Finally!
Step 3: Conspire to chase out Dayo's wife.
Step 4: Live happily ever after.

nikkykay: Sisi_Kill I am not sure what kinda advice to give OP...on one hand, his wife's need for his attention is understandable, on the other hand I would flip out too if someone gave me an ultimatum on something. So amma leave the advice giving to the more experienced in matters like this.


I do however have some concerns. . .what do people mean when they say "You should even thank God he is not out late with his friend". Why should she even thank God her husband isn't behaving like an immature frat boy?!! If she married a frat boy, knowing what he is capable of doing and he surprises her by not doing that....then I understand the need to be all grateful to God for her luck.

She married a man, who must have know what responsibilities comes with being a husband, a man who understands what you did as a single man...the late night keeping, the being gone for days on end etc will have to come to an end...he understood this and that's why he got married. So why should we suddenly start thanking God and handing out YOU ARE THE BEST badges to people for acting right?!! [/b]

So u r saying a man will stop all ds attitude immediately he gets married
You are a joker! If a woman could put up with late night crawling, hanging out with friends, talking to friend on fone for only God know how many hours etc during courtship, she shld be ready to live with it for the rest of her life. These situations can only change if the man is willing to change, God takes control or the woman performs extra ordinary wonders on the man (i mean by being superb with her character).
After all she noticed all ds before dey got married and if she needs attention, dre are better ways to get dat not to break the rship btw friend becos of her selfishness. Like some pple said, if anythg bad happened to dat guy , God forbids in dat country, do u think ds woman alone can be of help? Nothings stops her from putting her head on husband laps while he is on d fone wit his friend, from dre she moves to d next level . Nobody wil tell oga to drop d fone. Other times she may even engage in d conversation, from dre she get used to d call since she knows dey are only friends.
Abeg women too dey attach sentiments to trivial issues
If his friend ddnt help him to the UK, wuld she ever meet d man?

Please enough with statements like that....be it about male or female because we are inadvertently giving people the green card to behave badly. What? I didn't cook? You should be happy I even entered the kitchen. So what if I don't help with the children...you should even be happy I notice the kids...where does it end?!!

nikkykay: Sisi_Kill I am not sure what kinda advice to give OP...on one hand, his wife's need for his attention is understandable, on the other hand I would flip out too if someone gave me an ultimatum on something. So amma leave the advice giving to the more experienced in matters like this.


I do however have some concerns. . .what do people mean when they say "You should even thank God he is not out late with his friend". Why should she even thank God her husband isn't behaving like an immature frat boy?!! If she married a frat boy, knowing what he is capable of doing and he surprises her by not doing that....then I understand the need to be all grateful to God for her luck.

She married a man, who must have know what responsibilities comes with being a husband, a man who understands what you did as a single man...the late night keeping, the being gone for days on end etc will have to come to an end...he understood this and that's why he got married. So why should we suddenly start thanking God and handing out YOU ARE THE BEST badges to people for acting right?!! [/b]

So u r saying a man will stop all ds attitude immediately he gets married
You are a joker! If a woman could put up with late night crawling, hanging out with friends, talking to friend on fone for only God know how many hours etc during courtship, she shld be ready to live with it for the rest of her life. These situations can only change if the man is willing to change, God takes control or the woman performs extra ordinary wonders on the man (i mean by being superb with her character).
After all she noticed all ds before dey got married and if she needs attention, dre are better ways to get dat not to break the rship btw friend becos of her selfishness. Like some pple said, if anythg bad happened to dat guy , God forbids in dat country, do u think ds woman alone can be of help? Nothings stops her from putting her head on husband laps while he is on d fone wit his friend, from dre she moves to d next level . Nobody wil tell oga to drop d fone. Other times she may even engage in d conversation, from dre she get used to d call since she knows dey are only friends.
Abeg women too dey attach sentiments to trivial issues
If his friend ddnt help him to the UK, wuld she ever meet d man?

Please enough with statements like that....be it about male or female because we are inadvertently giving people the green card to behave badly. What? I didn't cook? You should be happy I even entered the kitchen. So what if I don't help with the children...you should even be happy I notice the kids...where does it end?!!