Though i was the crusty sort with no means of livelihood and no job, but i was still the chubby kind with loose flesh padded all over my body and sagging flesh overlapping my neck,u go fink say i be butter but am far from that,na disposable spoon dey born me with nd not the silver sort, in a nutshell i wasn't born with a silver spoon.


Seeing me for the first time you would take me for a rich dude and probably the chief executive officer of a top notch oil company, but in actual reality am a broke guy without a penny lining the enclave of my pocket. Am the usual sort you would see plying the street of lagos looking for left overs or pennies to feed with.


It was a monday morning and I got a call from a friend who is based down at warri, he told me to come to warri and I should bring my resume along, that there might actually be a job opening for me in a firm as a low end clerk of some sort, the firm in question wasn't far from he's place of work, you should have seen the look on my face when he conveyed the news to me, I became wobbly like a jellyfish and just danced around.


I tidied myself up, got dressed nd headed straight to the road side, where i was sure I would get a cheap bus, the sort we broke lads do call "sole" or one chance. Cheap,rickety and amazingly fast and less I forget they are also amazingly risky if u don't know ur way around em.

I got one and within some hours I was in warri,since I Maself be confirm lasgidi chap I don expect say warri go be small fry for me.

I was well dressed,wore my best shirt and a trimmed edge tie and the best versace(imitation)pant have got in my wardrobe,i just had to make a good first impression to the company,but with the way I take dress, me myself don forget say na low end clerk job i dey go for, but all the same a sound first impression should be sought after nd na wetin I do be that.

I also wore(wait sef but how person go wear perfume wallahi oyinbo people sef get problem)a heavy scented banila cologne to top it and a set of brown loafers which i had just gotten for employment instances such as this from the ever busy katangora market and na chikini money i buy am,u'll be surprised @ what that rowdy market has to offer,market wey fit turn slum chaps to apparel celebrity..super(cantagora)I hail oh)..

I took a cab and headed to were I was to drop my resume,the cab man seeing that i am a power dresser mistook me for a rich lad whose car had just broken down and needed a cab to ease the pain of being scorched by the sun..to spoil the matter me sef come sit down for the back of the yeye warri cab as if na me own d ride.

He told me he would take me there at the rate of five hundred but I had to beat it down to three fifty because that was the last amount i was having on me..he agreed with the the bargain probably finking that have extended all my moni on my wrecked up car nd i needed to go grab some more at my house.

As i stepped into the cab i just slept off,I really didn't know what came over me or untop of me but I sure enjoyed the short nap cz i drooled on my t.m lebin (instead of lewin that's how it was spelt out on my shirt) and within minutes of me waking up i was in a building half way being completed with mask men surrounding me some even stood untop of me as if they were expecting some sort of blo..w job from me.

It was obvious,these guys were kidnappers but they just took the wrong victim,i just shake my head in pity for them say dey don carry pass their strenght today,they inquired the company i worked for and other details about my sorry as(s), i tried telling them i was no good to them but they insisted i say the truth or else i would be seriously dealth with,they started brandishing their horse whips and pankere na then i know say no be joke at all,in order to avoid more whipping and lashing i had to concoct a lie that i worked with chevron,which is an oil exploration company. you should have seen the glow on their faces,not knowing that i lied to avoid being dealt with and this is were the suspense comes in,sensing that am a top notch executive officer at chevron they thought it wise to pamper and caress me,I ate arrays of meals and drank assorted wines.I took moet wey I never take for my life before,na then i realise say getting kidnapped na good thing for some of us.

I was moved from the uncompleted hide out and tucked in a flat,they contacted my company and requested for a ransom but instead the company said they don't have anybody of that sort on their payroll,at this point they came to the realization that they took the wrong guy.....e nevar finish oh ...stay glued for more.scroll down for season two nd more

;DU̶̲̥̅̊ r in a truck-load of trouble

Lol......

Seeing that this poor lad was of no use to em,they tossed me out of a moving vehicle in the dark..

Na job I find come warri but now am soiled up in my own worries,wetin i go do now,am stranded and to top up my problems i don't have a dine with me, deep inside i just uttered this three words to my sub conscious,(I DON DIE).

While wandering about with the bruises i had gotten from being violently tossed out,i jam this church wey dey do revival,wasn't so sure if it was a revival or get together,i sneaked in nd layed my behind on a chair nd within some seconds i blended with the crowd shouting halleluyah nd all while nurturing the hope that there was gonna be a buffet of some sort to eat from,cz i could smell the strong aroma of jollof rice in the air.

I clapped,yelled as if i was thrilled nd submerged in the holy spirit, but it was all a faux(LIE)cz na food tinz carry me come the church,I could see some coolers well positioned @ a precise angle in the confines of the church and i was hundred percent certain they contained food..within some minutes into my intense shouting and rantings i became overly exhausted and just slept off on the tiny chair i sat on,by the time i was awake they had already served and all that littered the tiled floor were bits and pieces of take away plates, con see as I cry,I really wept my reservior out.

A lady walked up to me and inquired from me why i was crying, instead of spilling out the truth to her that i missed out on the food, i told her i was filled up with the holy spirit and that I was in a transe of some sort which inturn evoked my tears..

It was noon already and cocks were cookroodooing all abt,I took my leave from the church and like a compass without a bearing i wandered abt hoping to locate the spot were i was picked and abducted from or better still kidnapped from,na that day i know say warri big no be small coz i no get the spot @ all.

I walked up to a couple and asked if they could be of help to me coz my stomach by then was awry and in need of something to take in,they first sized me up from my bald head down to toe nd just retorted by saying,u are wearing a TM lewin nd a pair of top notch loafers nd u are here begging for money,we wey u dey beg sef no dress reach u,,,abegi park well they said to me and they just waved their fingers to dismiss me off,when has it become a crime to dress well and after all everything i had on were mere imitations and not the real deal so to say.

Na then I know say to dress well sef no dey make sense in some cases,so instead i commot my shirt i squeeze am and i chuck am inside my pocket nd took of a feet of my loafers and chuck am inside my pocket too,now i looked like a guy in need of some serious help.

Sighting another couple i went straight to them and asked if they could be of financial help to me.they gazed at me unceasingly for almost five minutes nd retorted that they don't give out their hard earned money to hoodlums,I looked @ myself from my slightly broad chest down to my feet and i sure looked like a tout,i tried explaining to them that i wasn't one but they just said that my likes say such tinz all the time,nawa oh the first couple said i over dressed and i decided to tune it down a little nd now this derailed couple are saying am a tout cz i took off my shirt nd tucked my loafers in my pocket.

Out of anger nd their outright underestimation of my personality,i took out my imitated Tm lewin shirt from my pocket nd my pair of loafers just to show them i had class nd swag nd started putting them on,they were shocked by what i was doing nd instantly took to their heels probably thinking that i was mad nd all,then did i realise that i was doomed,so warri go become my geographical enclave be that..more to come...watch out for more peeps.

..........

Interesting ffw thread so abeg dont keep us waiting oo

Being a destitute is no fun, with no shed above my bald head con see as sun dey beat me, I was baked and scorched up to the point wey be say my bald head dey reflect sun rays bk to the atmosphere,I suffer no be small infact d suffering na "ad infinitum" coz it seems it would never come to an end.
I had wandered around for three day but it sure seemed like three years to me, with my fingers wrapped around one of those salted and long warri bread and the other hand holding a sachet of water by its tip, i was set to conquer the whole of the city with these two items until I could find some help..

My pair of loafers were already responding to the sufferings being inflicted upon them, the shoes hadn't seen anything yet coz warri would still offer much more in terms of trekking.. The coarse road had eaten deep into the each sole.... but dat one no concern me at all..

The bread wey I think say go sustain me till I find I go find help no gree reach one hour before e finish nd once again i was starting to feel the sharp pangs of hunger..left with no option I decided to make use of one of my obsolete pranks,though I be school drop out and wasn't really fluent in english, but the bit nd pieces of english wey i sabi na through thorough and serious cramming,the type of cramming wey be say if dey interrupt me midway while churning it out I fit forget everytin, so I dey quickly rush the words before the other person go fit talk anything.

This would definitely get me out of the hunger puddle i was in, i decided to employ the prank since it has always worked for me back in Lagos so I was dead certain and optimistic it was going to pay off here in warri, because warri people no too sabi oyinbo.


I prepped my mouth up for the task @ hand nd swallowed some saliva down my throat,my first victim was a man decked in a multi coloured suite abi na coat I go call am, coz he was looking all drolly in it..

Na like this our conversation take go:

Sir, am presently in a state of abject financial meltdown,am from the larger than life city of Lagos bt am stranded in Warri, I was hoping u could be of help and by help I mean financial help."for my mind I don fink say I don nail d man hard like that,say e go dey confused with my oyinbo and just help out by giving me some money" remember say na wetin I cram I pour down for the man nd I don expect say e no go fit reply coz he would be drowned in the euphoria nd aura of my oyinbo but the man replied and na there yawa con gas oh!!!

Na reply wey e gimme be this: You are so full of pranks and quite appalling, take a graceful gaze @ me do I look like someone u can pull a fast one on.

I was dazed,all because I never expected him to reply nd I never tot he was learned nd well versed in the white man's tongue, remember say I talk say d bits nd pieces of englsh wey I sabi na through intense cramming, so It's hard for me to converse with people using oyinbo...instead I just told him, "Oga no vex I no sabi say you sabi good england english".

Once more my subconscious uttered these cruel sentences to itself "I DON DIE"..

I'm enjoying this. Pls keep it coming. Thanks.

More grease to ur elbow more update pls

hyper,ride on bro u r so on point.

It was getting dim nd dark already nd the atmosphere was moist up,with this i knew that rain was bound to fall,while i was scampering about to get a place to lay myself for d nyt ahead i sighted a bridge nd my sub conscious just said to itself..(HOME SWEET HOME).

I was hyped up with joy coz this bridge is gonna house me for tonight nd many more to come if i don't find that God forsaken spot i was bundled away from, i walked towards the bridge nd while i zoomed in on my house to be for that night i could see warri heads nd eyes staring @ me from under the bridge..

I got to my desired spot under d cozy bridge nd while i attempted to rest my butt on one of the wrecked up slabs lying around i received a slap nd a heavy knock on my bald head, i nearly passed out but the bread nd pure water wey i take that day firmed me up nd i didn't pass out.

Wetin u want here they asked me with their rifla and weed tucked in between their fingers,i lost my voice nd couldn't utter a word, by the time i mustered up the courage to spill out some words i received another one nd this was fiercer nd quite (bam) that i lost my balance immediately.

I quickly knelt down nd begged them that i needed a place to sleep for the night,they asked for rent money nd i was like "haba chairman sebi na government build am" nd i even received another slap for trying to play smart,I dipped my fingers into my pocket nd brought out a 20 naira note,the sort that is transparent nd almost dying nd which no sane person would collect, since it was dark they didn't notice the attributes the 20naira note had.

They complained that the rent fee am giving them is too little nd so i wud be given a sleeping space with no leg space,since i had no option, i agreed nd there i was all crouched nd curled up in the lil space they allocated to me.i con coil up like sardine inside tin.

Flies nd mosquitoes had a filled day digging deep into my pores, they buzzed and played some classical mozart to my ears while also sucking the hell out of me, it was hard getting myself to sleep so i decided to wash my dirty clothes since there was a fair amount of rain trickling down from the brim of the bridge, I took off my shirt, trousers and was left with my underpants.

I dipped the shirt nd trouser into a pool of water cupped up in a degenerated bucket, i scrubbed it hard since I had no soap,I wringed them one after the other and placed them on a slab to dry.

As i dey sleep wey mosquitoes dey bite me na instantly malaria they catch me, I was shivering and writhing endlessly, since i had washed my clothes and I had nothing on, I improvised and made used of a garri sack as my cover cloth, i even had to rent the gaari sack sef..

It was slightly above Six am when i woke up, everyone had disappeared from under the bridge, my shirt nd trouser even disappeared with them..

So short abeg update More nice story

K bro.......

I sat down nd just drifted away in unpleasant thoughts of my travails,warri is making life unbearable nd quite miserable for me,what sort of city is this,this city is way too smart for me..

My behind stayed glued to the slab i was sitting on nd i sure looked like one of those classic antique statues, i just sat down there with my hands bracing my head nd gulped up in my own miserable thoughts.

There i was moving about the whole of warri with my saggy nd dirty underpants nd the thrilling nd yet saddening part was that my joystick was just dangling about,I felt bad about myself but there was nothing i could do.

People just dey look me say i be mad person but dey no sabi say na condition make my crayfish bend,while i was walking about with the hope of getting some tattered cloth to wear nd cover myself up, i came across the cruel and inconsiderate lad who stole my cloth,as i see am like this my head swell with anger nd i just dashed forward with fury nd angst towards him yelling nd shouting.

With me yelling nd all,then it became clear to people in the environ that i was a mad fellow,I tried explaining to them that i am the victim here,the one whose cloth was stolen but all my plea fell on deaf ears,they bundled me nd tied me up saying i was a menace to the society,they even begged the guy who stole my cloth that he shouldn't be angry.

I was tied to a tree nd by the time it was dark they were quite considerate of me nd decided they would release me..there in i became a free man but i was still without cloth so i decided to get one for myself under the guise of d nyt.

I scaled the short fence that was ryt in front of me nd headed straight to the backyard were there was bound to be a line with clothes spread on them..since it was dark nd i was blinded by the night i just took a cloth from the line nd ran as fast as i could out of there,when i was finally out i wore d clothe nd to my utmost surprise nd disappointment na woman cloth i steal,I thought of going back but i could hear voices spilling out from the compound so i decided to make do with the cloth i had, sorry i meant to write the cloth I stole nd not had coz it wasn't really mine.

Darkness zoomed off nd cocks were doing their usual cookoorookoo'z serving as the early morning alarm they were..
The cocks woke me up nd there i was decked in a gown nd i sure looked funny in it, but wetin man go do i go sha wear cloth,so I moved out nurturing the hope to find that spot that ushered in my woes the spot i was kidnapped from..

While walking about in the gown i had on, na so i see ONOME she was an erstwhile classmate of mine back then in lagos, but she was now based in warri nd i don psyche her way back then, wey she no gree as i see her i tried dodging her but she had the eyes of an eagle,keen nd piercing so to say,she spotted me nd called me by my alias,then i knew i was doomed.

My brain started conjuring up lies i could offer to her as to the reason i was wearing a gown meant for the feminime type,nd suddenly the idea clicked in,as she strutted forward towards me i became calm nd settled,I greeted her while she gazed @ me as if i was an alien from outer space.........stay glued for more nd pls drop ur comments.

.......................

men!this story dey captivating o, #grabs an executive chair, popcorn on my left hand and viju milk(still in d easter spirit, so no alcohol)on my right#
now, let's go there.

continue

The confidence in me just surged up,my brain did some serious work on the kind lie wey i go give her then i caught sight of a camera crew filming a traffic scene not quite far from were i stood, then the idea kicked in,as she was abt asking me why i had a gown on, i cut her short nd pushed her aside,saying ONOME u are blocking the camera man from seeing me, pls step aside for a minute nd lemme play out my role in this movie well before the director sanctions me nd i made some silly gestures in the air as if i was communicating with the camera crew..

You should have seen the glow on her face,she really thought i was a superstar abi na movie star of some sort,she asked me if i will still be on d spot were the filming was happening nd insisted that we really needed to talk but first she needs to attend to a customer down @ her shop,as she turn her back like this i don pick race,i zoomed off into thin air.

She was totally convinced that i was acting out a mad scene for a movie but she no know say wetin she see no be fiction but confirm reality,while i was still running trying to create a looming gap from were she was,
I ran into the hands of mental health care workers,they were obviously moving from one market place to another picking up mad fella'z nd i became a victim asap,they chained me up nd locked me up into the back of their van.

ONOME see wetin u cause,what is it with warri people self nd the badluck they always garner around me.

As we reach the mental asylum,they stripped me off my gown nd washed me up,they tagged me up nd gave me new clothes to wear, na their i know say mad people dey enjoy oh,they brought me rice laced with fried plantain nd confirm egusi soup to eat,I didn't want to tick them of by eating like a normal nd sane person so i rushed d food nd made quite a mess on d floor,i asked for more nd i was given more na then i know say i don reach heaven nd am gonna stay here forever.

As per say all the suffering warri don show me ashe i go still enjoy,they prepared my bed for me con see d mattress,na all those fluffy nd succulent mattress,the therapeutic sort wey be say if u sleep untop e go dey totori u for body nd e go massage am wella..asylum sweet no be small, i urge u readers to try one out,abeg make una try am out nd u are bound to enjoy the experience..

Chei.... Your last line no go kill me.......... Hahahahaha

Lol.....now the is good HUMOUR at its peak......m loving ur story!!!!!! Keep it up

Am living the life of a king,five star treatment nd all,am a maniac nd am loving it,it didn't even occur to me that i was the only sane person ryt there hanging out with the mentally derailed nd insane peeps,but who gives a hoot, i just wanna have a taste of the pudding, i want to enjoy what they are enjoying also.

We get to sleep for twelve straight hours without being disturbed, because the clinical psychologists or better still the shrinks handling us seems to think that long hours of sleep myt help to re surge the brain to it normal state, but all that professional bla bla bla na trash talk to me coz my brain dey the normal state already,nd when we are through with our beauty sleep our bath is always ready infact na hot water we dey use baff sef (imagine).

We were being pampered nd treated like A LIST celebrities,but i was starting to tick one of the nurses off, she was starting to think that i might not be a mad fella afterall nd i might be acting tinz, so in order to prove her wrong i had to come up with a firm plan so i decided to get wild nd completely out of control, i tossed nd threw objects about nd even sunk my teeth into the bosoms of one of the nurses..

With the bit of acting i displayed she was convinced that am a certified lunatic of the highest order nd so she named me TERRY G...I became a derailed star instantly,the nurses would hail me while passing by my bedside nd even gimme a pat on the back,what more can a guy ask for,am living in a fairytale nd am living out my dreams.

They were about twenty insane inmates sharing the same room with me nd ChIChI was among them..am thinking she was a model before she got mad nd i was right,I even got to know that she was the former Miss Nigeria before sco sco grab her, so i decided that she would me by girlfriend for the duration of my stay in the asylum that's if i would ever leave there coz i see my future ryt here in this heavenly asylum.

Since i wasn't really a mad fella i had to employ the service of another mad fella in convincing ChiChi to be my girl, coz na mad person fit follow mad person talk, coz their language different from we normal people own, so i employed the services of Charly boy,we call him charly boy mostly coz of the numerous piercing he has on his body nd the fact that he is a freak,in a nutshell the guy is a carbon copy of the Oputa charly boi, na only slight difference dey between them nd the only difference be say one dey asylum for warri here nd the other dey in house for gwanripa wey dey abuja.

Charly boy walked up to her nd instead make e follow her talk both of them begin play with each other hair from there they dey do leke leke gimme one finger. con see as i vex.i was about to burst with fury nd anger but i swallow am,see wetin charly boy dey do me.

See me see trouble oh..Charly boy won snatch my wife from me na so i vex just go there as i reach there i comport ma self wella, i just push Charlie boy commot for her front,me sef con dey play with her hair nd she reciprocated back by playing with mine also, na then i know say to psyche mad person easy jor... from there she start to dey chop the lice wey dey my beards coz i never baff for that day,while she was doing this i don forget say i be sane person say i no dey mad @ all, na so me too start to dey commot the lice wey dey her hair nd i dey throw am for my mouth,I don chop like ten lice before i realise say i no be mad person say i dey mentally sound but e don too late, wetin pain me pass na the size of the lice wey dey her hair they big no be small @ least the smallest one reach the size of basketmouth eyeballs..

Haha d last line got me ROFLMAO

my brain cells twitched nd one of olamide's street punch lines just popped in(AM I MAD),it was a rhetorical sort of street jab that needed no answer cz it was pretty obvious that am starting to join the league of the insane..

I came to warri with the hope of landing myself a job but tinz have veered off the path i intended for them,am a sane lad acting as if am missing a nut,have gone mad oh,warri has succeeded in making me go nut but why won't i go nut,am inches away from miss Nigeria, a lady with a physique internationally (recognised) (certified) nd rated as (A plus) nd with legs as straight nd tiny as that of a tarantula.

CHICHI is a charmer so to say,she get the beauty of all those greek goddess nd am sure u lads know how gorgeous those greek goddesses look especially those of u dat are quite familiar with greek antique movies such as troy nd the lots,,she is well trimmed up nd has eye popping cleavages nd curves,if she was sane nd sound there was no way i could have gotten six feet close to her but now am just inches away from her,so if to say may i chop more lice just to maintain the inches between us i go do am.

Na then i realise say i must find means of getting myself out of this mental asylum coz it's starting to have it toll on me,but am really gonna miss here,the meals,hot baths nd chichi,I just hope that when she get better she will eventually remember me nd the lice i ate from her peruvian hair.

It was 12am nd the hall was dark i got up from my therapeutic mattress nd slid my flip flops into my feet then i positioned my feet like a soldier threading on enemy soil nd started to tip toe,I tried not to make any sound so as not to trigger any of the derailed one's from waking up,I never knew that while i was acting all sneaky like a ninja i was being watched by the night guard on duty,he flashed @ me nd was about raising. his voice to call the night nurses before I could say (OBASANJO OLE) the man don call them already, they grasped nd tied me down then i was given a shot of tranquiliser to calm my nerves down before i knew it my legs was chained onto my bunk nd ny hand as well.


I DON DIE OH,see ma lyf,I tried explaining to them that am a sane lad but instead they were of the opinion that my madness don scale pole,they started injecting me with all sort of medicine nd taking my temperature @ constant interval,since there was nuffin i could possibly do i just had to relax nd i took in all they had to offer.

bros more Grace from GOD, truly am loving dis

Wahala don come be dat oo

The drugs had started working nd before i knew it i had slipped into dreamland,my muscles were calm nd my heart beat dropped.

Knowing fully well that i was asleep they unchained me nd left the hall,but while the drugs were acting out their effects and taking their toll on me i was trying to fight em back by staying awake,though it seemed pretty much impossible but like Kanu Nwankwo(I WAS DETERMINED),I was able to shrug off the overwhelming effects of the drugs by standing on my feet,but I wasn't still on point,coz I was wavering nd staggering while @ a fixed position.

Since the hall way was clear i headed out with my shaky leg nd dim eyes coz sleep still dey my body like mad.
I was walking like one of those resident evil zombies and a sleepy one @ that,still with dizzy eyes I attempted scaling the fence nd while @ it i had my scrotum bruised in the process,I didn't even succeed in scaling the fence coz it happened that i slept off on the barbed fence,the urge to sleep was just too much nd irresistable that i had to succumb to it nd i just sleep on top the barb wire wey dey ontop the fence.

Na horse tranquiliser they gimme coz the kind sleep wey i sleep while on the barbed fence that nyt was the best i ever had,though the barb wires pricked my skins but i didn't really feel em @ all,the early morning alarms went off nd the nursess started trooping out.

Then a nurse saw me,she didn't really know dat this sane lad was jez taking a nap on a barbed nd prickly bed so to say,she obviously tot that i had been electrocuted by the current laced on the barbwire so she quickly raised a call for help (SOS) nd the others rushed out,they all thought i was dead nd i could sense some of them sobbing but I was too weak to make a gesture or signal to them that i was okay nd all coz the sleep wey dey my body dey hard to shake off,my whole body was numb all over.

They thought it would be best to take me straight to the morgue but before that can be done they had to remove me from the barb wire attached to the fence,they insructed one of the nurses to switch off the electric current to the barb wire not knowing that they were about to switch on the electric current coz it was initailly off,that was when my sub conscious whispered to the sleepy me saying (I DON DIE).

I was too weak to give out any signals that i wasn't dead nd that they shouldn't switch d current on thinking they were switching it off but nothing dey wey I fit do


I just hear shirrin shirrin for my body nd before I knew it,the electric current flung me high up in the sky that i was cruising @ the same altitude with pigeons nd butterflies nd while i was floating in mid air i just said to myself WARRI DON FINISH ME.

Guy I enjoy ur tale no be small,abeg continue

I landed in a rather dirty niche coz na inside green mustered spirogyra gutter i fall,with fierce current running through my body d sleep wey dey my body just zoomed off,I regained my consciousness nd snapped out of it,as i stood up i fell on my behind instantly coz the current still made me feel uneasy nd shaky.

Without much ado nd struggle i just had to sit down inside the gutter coz the electric shock left me incapacitated,I sat inside the green laden spirogyra jacuzzi for almost one hour before i regained my actual consciousness nd by the time i stood up, mehn u should av seen my body yepah,i had lost weight coz the current drained me off my blood seriously na then i know say nepa work no be good work @ all.

I staggered out of the gutter nd sat under a shade,Warri has dealt me a big blow nd am quite sure am still gonna be dealt more.

I begged a lady for a bucket of water to wash myself off the dirt from the gutter,this said lady was so caring that she even offered me a towel to mop the water off my skin,only if i knew i wouldn't have dared to collect the towel, as she was about handing it out to me na so her husband show face,con see muscle nd stature, am sure the lad is a labourer of some sort coz God sculpted him with excess clay,he was heavily built,he sighted me in my underpants nd he instantly raged with fury.

He said so i am the said man that has been sleeping with his beautiful wife,since i was surprised i looked sideways thinking he was talking to someone beside me, then it occurred to me that he was referring to me.I con even look the wife sef she no fine reach half of my CHICHI,infact she isn't up to her waist level, while i was busy thinking that to myself na so i receive sharp slap that offset my balance.

He started chasing me nd i became a sprinter asap,the way i ran, i was sure if it was @ d olympic it would probably earn me a gold medal,I ran for my not so dear life coz my life don diminish sotey he no dey dear to me again,but at that particular moment while i was running it was quite dear to me.

While running i swerved to dodge a moving keke napep but to my utmost surprise the keke napep hit the man chasing me nd instead of him falling down na the keke napep fall down nd the tricycle was inflicted with multiple injuries nd concoctions,na then my sub conscious tell me those dreaded sentences again(I DON DIE).

nice story more grease to ur elbow