Ujujoan: It beats me how women do ALL the work in a marriage. Honestly women that go out of their way to please selfish men must be Angels. May God bless them!

@ Poster
Were you not jobless BEFORE he married you?
Are you just sitting at home eating and doing nothing to get a job?
Did he marry a model with a certified figure 8 for life?
Is he weighing the exact weight as as time of marriage?

My dear stop killing yourself for NOTHING. Your man will keep behaving that way as long as he sees how much it bothers you. Biko try and ignore him o jare, he is not God!

My sister women have suffered. An adult has decided to ignore his pecious wife and has also refused to let her know why, it now has become the wife,s fault, she has to do this and do that to make the man change. All that would only make the man look down more at the wife. Make yourself happy don't depend on someone your happiness. If you have tried more than once to solve this issue by asking him what the matter is, then be yourself and ignore all his poor attitudes.you can't force him to LOVE you back. Na wettin

Madam CC has spoken well

Thank God I no be woman oo. Kai! See life!

@ujujoan,I totally agree with you.i had worked for 6years before meeting my husband and he had worked for just a year.fast forward 2 years later,married and 3months pregnant,my company closes up owing me every financial benefit possible in arrears.before this I had been a major contributor to all our financial engagements.now I have moved up a dress size,been breastfeeding exclusively for the past 5months and taking care of the baby all alone without any outside help.i have a business I do from home but I have made less than 30k since jan.so if after taking care of baby alone(I stress that cause its plenty work),cooking,cleaning,taking care of him,meeting his sexual needs and taking care of myslf(last as you might notice),all he chooses to see is my extra weight and present almost nothing income,then that's too bad.these men self,after bursting your asses for them guarantee absolutely nothing.everybody is saying lose weight,find work,beg him,black bla bla@op,don't lose sleep too much.i know it can be quite disheartening but use the time you spend at home now to pray to God and realize that it's presently your season to load your clouds.one day it will rain and you will smile again.its just painful that its not within your right to say you will pay him back.but I know also that karma is a bitch.

sunnydayasaba: My Dear, I guess the Financial burden is beginning to tell on him, Why not try and get a Job, shade some weight and relax alittle with him.. Am sure once ur busy, he will sit up and retrace his steps. Having alot of Female could also be another factor.

financial burden on a man who can still keep girl friends around him. you must be kidding

op. why not tell him exactly what you have told us now and then come back.
communication is important but effective communication is the key

The fact that you are concerned shows that you are a good wife and that you want your marriage to work and that is really positive.
You added some weight and maybe some stretch marks. But most women have a physical change when they have a child. remember that you sacrificed this to give your husband a child that he loves and he knows that and appreciates that. Do not see yourself as being any less attractive. You are as beautiful as you feel and carry yourself.

It is normal that so much love is transferred on the child but you need to take your own healthy potion just take it and don`t bother talking about it. Just have fun with the man you love. Speak , crack jokes, let it come naturally.
As regards the intimate aspect. he is your husband and he belongs to you so much as you belong to him. So take what is yours, what does it matter who asks. You need to remember however that you need to be more exciting and get adventurous. Do not just ask for it but give it... a woman gives just as much as she relieves in bed. Talk in a way that gets him excited and that does not take much.
Also realize that men do not often pay compliments at this stage of marriage and if you feel bad about it ask for it, but not in a serious tone. The way we approach issues determine the response. for instance, darling I know you love me don`t be shy just say it.
Call him sometimes just to tell him you love him, that speaks more than volumes and gets him all tuned for when he comes home.At the initial stage of my marriage my husband had a phase when he was always tired after work. I asked him one day if he had ever been raped by a woman and that i was not going to plead but take what is mine. He found it so funny but it worked wonders. Sometimes I cook his favorite meal while he is eating i let him know it is not for free but for his night duty. I guess what I am trying to get across is that you need to concentrate on the wonderful things you have going and not let the few shadows bring darkness over the marriage, loosen up, believe in yourself and have fun. Everyone loves a cheerful partner.