Nairalanders if you meet the girl you would like to settle with would you rather she tells you everything about her past including ex boyfriends and her family secretes even though her past relations and the family secret were not good or would you hate an judge her for being open to you. Ladies have you tried and how was the responce from the guy? Or do you guys think its better to just lie about your past to score brownie points

I like this question. I think the girl should tell me everything about her past. The reason is because the past can sometimes affect things and cause problems in the future. When this happens, it is the information that she has given me about her past that would help me tackle these problems. Especially when she is not available to explain things.

Ijeoma okeke100

Is ur past dat bad

Don't worry even if is dat bad becos I will still nyash u

How bad can someone's past be that would make them want to hide it from the person they intend to spend the rest of their lives with?

Even if the person was an armed robber or ashawo before, everyone deserves a second chance as long as they've truly repented.

im a fan of the truth. however one should be careful about who they are spilling their guts to.

it doesnt even have to be secrets it can just be things about your personality or how you react to certain things [likes and dislikes]

just because you tell the truth doesnt mean they will do the same or believe u when they do.

everyone has their secrets or details they do not want to divulge, nothing is going to change that.

It's sometimes better to keep mute than to tell your past to your current guy especially if it's bad.because it can cause some trust issues and bring about insecurities.Imagine a girl telling the guy i was once an ashawo.The guy will start stalking her and thinking she is fucking every guy she see around.This can cause some serious problems if the guy is soo immatured.

freecocoa: How bad can someone's past be that would make them want to hide it from the person they intend to spend the rest of their lives with?

Even if the person was an armed robber or ashawo before, everyone deserves a second chance as long as they've truly repented.

it depends on where the relationship is going to. If its bf/gf then it doesn´t really matter but it its permanent/life time committement stuff then the skeletons have to leave the wardrob or else u destroy what little trust u could have built with the person..

drnoel:
it depends on where the relationship is going to. If its bf/gf then it doesn´t really matter but it its permanent/life time committement stuff then the skeletons have to leave the wardrob or else u destroy what little trust u could have built with the person..

From my first post I think its obvious enough that I meant people who intend getting married.

* i love bitter truth than sweet lies
* i hate knowing a secret that can cause heart attack

I prefer she tell me everything about her past most expecially all her ex, i dont care if they were 100 or even if she has been raped before or even if she has robed world bank before

BUT

Is better she should keep this to herself:

* if she has slept with her dad
* if she has slept with her brother or close cousine, i can still bear distance cousine

-- my problem is i hate seeing someone that have 4ucked my lady/wife regularly, seeing the person regularly will make me feel insecure

Serzly wudnt like 2 hv any biz wid her past cos she doesn't belong there anymore, we shud talk more on now n d future...I had bera suggest she kips it 2 hersef n tells me as matters arise

"Am nt a virgin,I've had 3 ex,I used 2 party a lot,pisshhh*is nutin*..am al ears"

"But,I dn do 5 abortions,I used 2 be a runs gal,was molested*is sometin*beta u kip dos 2 ursef"

Dubemkelly: Serzly wudnt like 2 hv any biz wid her past cos she doesn't belong there anymore, we shud talk more on now n d future...I had bera suggest she kips it 2 hersef n tells me as matters arise

Hmmmm. Get ready for bombshells every min of your life if you meet the really bad type.

@OP, IMO, good or bad, I think its better to let the secrets out. If your union is meant to be, no matter what you've committed in the past, if you're truly repented(as frecocoa rightly said) then your partner will understand.

It feels bad to be in public where something about your partner's past is mentioned and you're in the dark, the last person to know, when its supposed to be the other way round.

chikk:

Hmmmm. Get ready for bombshells every min of your life if you meet the really bad type.

@OP, IMO, good or bad, I think its better to let the secrets out. If your union is meant to be, no matter what you've committed in the past, if you're truly repented(as frecocoa rightly said) then your partner will understand.

It feels bad to be in public where something about your partner's past is mentioned and you're in the dark, the last person to know, when its supposed to be the other way round.

I like this ^^! I need to know everything about her if we're ever to be serious! That way if I decide to stick, I know I'm sticking for good and nothing anybody would say would take me by surprise!

@OP
i want to know the stuff that is relevant to our r/ship, the rest she can keep it to herself.....although being honest about ones past shows trust/care/honesty.

Ijeoma Okeke100: Nairalanders if you meet the girl you would like to settle with would you rather she tells you everything about her past including ex boyfriends and her family secretes even though her past relations and the family secret were not good or would you hate an judge her for being open to you. Ladies have you tried and how was the responce from the guy? Or do you guys think its better to just lie about your past to score brownie points

I THINK I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING COZ D LAST TIME I DID IT WAS USED AGAINST ME AT EVERY SLIGHTEST PROBLEM

I wont be desperate. Some wounds are better covered.

I would rather she told me the whole truth just so I know what I'm getting into.don't want no surprises.now let us dispel a misconception some women have.it doesn't mean just because you fessed up I'm going to love,appreciate,respect and trust you.hell no! don't get me wrong,there are guys who would do that but unfortunately,I ain't one of them.nobody is a saint,I get that but there are some past I'm willing to live with and others I won't even dream of touching with a meter-long pole.

p.s: a word of advice,today will be your past,tomorrow.why not live it well so you won't go about wondering whether to tell the truth or not about it.

Fussbot: "Am nt a virgin,I've had 3 ex,I used 2 party a lot,pisshhh*is nutin*..am al ears"

"But,I dn do 5 abortions,I used 2 be a runs gal,was molested*is sometin*beta u kip dos 2 ursef"

jst like me u can tell me every other secret but nt ve done severals abortions.geeez dat alone pissed nd turn me off beta u kip to urself.

If i wanna date u, it better be u and not some ind of fantasy u painted in ur mind!
If i won't date u, it's good for u to knw!