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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? (4253 Views)
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Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by jkpretty(f): 11:31am On Apr 10, 2008 |
@Chucks4real I was never in support of her going back to her 'ex. I have no reason to go back & forth. Check the posts i made earlier, its not so difficult to figure out. |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by chukz4real(m): 11:39am On Apr 10, 2008 |
@JKpretty Now I understand. We are all humans and most times we things and later find ourselves asking; "How come?" The heart is so treacherous that no one can understand, says the Bible. I believe she once loved the father of her daughters right? I suppose if she could provide answers to some certain questions like; How did they start?, What led to their problems? Was it all from him or I have a share of blame? This will go a long way in helping the young woman make a nicer decision. All men are saints at first. Let her pray hard anyways |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by olanajim(m): 12:21pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
Teriba, thanks for that inclusion. Since the lady was harping so much on the kano saint being more Godly, I advise her to follow a post made by born again man on this section. 2 MONTHS PREGNANCY AFTER 1 MONTH. Let see how true born again can be when the face critical decision that bother on forgiveness and maintaining cordial relationship after marriage. It is good to learn from others. |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by modupsie(f): 12:25pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
well i think all she wants to do now is to watch out on her ex if he has really changed and now sincerely have value for her now while still hanging on with her new guy. she has also decided not to move in with him without proper apology to her parents and approppriate marriage . also , she also wants to find out what made him come back to her and if it is as a result of a heartbreak by another girl and not because he still truly loves her and the kids, if so ,the answer is NO. cos it wud be an everlasting tragedy to go back and resume d torture and bring up the kids in a riotous home.they wud blame their mum for it in future cos she can not give them her best when sad. FOR THE NEW GUY- she has decided to hang on till she gets a satisfactory result from her findings. and if nothing good comes from her ex, she would go on and marry him but would definitely have an arrangement for her kids. And would also ask him if he can really cope with whatever comes up in d future on the custody of the kids. SHE IS DETERMINED TO FACE IT ,WHATEVER WAY ,HER KIDS MUST BE HAPPY AND SHE MUST BE HAPPY TOO. AND HAS PROMISED HERSELF NOT TO HAVE A FAILED MARRIAGE,SHE IS GOING TO GIVE IT WHATEVER IT TAKES |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by modupsie(f): 12:33pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
@ OLANAJIM , if the new guy can not forgive her he would not want to marry her in the first place. he wud av been so dissappointed that she was invoved in pre-marital sex or fornication by having 2 kids outside wedlock i think this guy truly fears God am being neutral here cos some of us that still very single don't come across people that accept u 4 who u are just like that .most guys already av a profile of d kind of woman they want and if u r not 70% of their profile they look for excuses to dump u. they don't know that we av different temparaments and av to accept u like that. so it's not a born again thing but having God at heart and loving people unconditionally |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by olanajim(m): 12:37pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
Modupsie, tell her to stop the new guy from discussing marriage until further notice! Your friend is not being rational. Why is the new guy suddenly rushing to marriage? Did your friend told him of her dilema? Why not? Marry or not, the father of her children will still come knocking if he is a stubborn one. She would be adding to her own problem by rushing to marry in the midst of her confusion. Let the new guy know what is happening. He would eventually know in future. And if the balance tilt to his favour, it would be sweet victory. Jk, I got your message it made alot of sense and I agreed with you. But, I don't think women should use that as an excuse to be hostile to men. It is well. Overall, I don't the poster want her ex back! She is only confusing herself. Experience is the best teacher. |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by olanajim(m): 1:01pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
Modupsie, I quite disagree with you on your friend's prediction of the new guy! I am a man and can tell you any man know how to "say" as long as it never happened. There is a great difference between something that had happened and something that is happening. You MUST NEVER TRY TO PREDICT A MAN'S REACTION TO UNCERTAIN FUTURE EXPERIENCE WITH 100% guaranttee. By that your statement, you assumed the man is perfect. That is wrong! Saying that she would forgive without it happening is fallacious. Try him. After the dust is settled. Tell the new guy that you made love to your ex and had gotten pregnant again! Watch his reaction and ask him if he would forgive you and marry you that way! Please be serious. Try it. Ensure that it is done as though it were real. One month or two. Get a fake pregnancy test result. Test the water. Then give us a feedback in 3 month! If you can do this, you would widen your experience. I commend her resolve to be patience and observe things. That is the best decision. It mean she won't lose on both sides. On a personal note, I am seeing a lady whose mind can easily be swayed by outward evaluation. Let her work on herself before marriage. A good combination of Almondjoy (1% though) frankness and Olanajim's open-minded plus her meekness will see her through. She must give a time frame for that experiment and also try to see if she can influence her ex's spiritual outlook. While doing this, she should pray for guidance. Best wish! |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by olanajim(m): 1:02pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
Modupsie, I quite disagree with you on your friend's prediction of the new guy! I am a man and can tell you any man know how to "say" as long as it never happened. There is a great difference between something that had happened and something that is happening. You MUST NEVER TRY TO PREDICT A MAN'S REACTION TO UNCERTAIN FUTURE EXPERIENCE WITH 100% guaranttee. By that your statement, you assumed the man is perfect. That is wrong! Saying that she would forgive without it happening is fallacious. Try him. After the dust is settled. Tell the new guy that you made love to your ex and had gotten pregnant again! Watch his reaction and ask him if he would forgive you and marry you that way! Please be serious. Try it. Ensure that it is done as though it were real. One month or two. Get a fake pregnancy test result. Test the water. Then give us a feedback in 3 month! If you can do this, you would widen your experience. I commend her resolve to be patience and observe things. That is the best decision. It mean she won't lose on both sides. On a personal note, I am seeing a lady whose mind can easily be swayed by outward evaluation. Let her work on herself before marriage. A good combination of Almondjoy (1% though) frankness and Olanajim's open-minded plus her meekness will see her through. She must give a time frame for that experiment and also try to see if she can influence her ex's spiritual outlook. While doing this, she should pray for guidance. Best wish! |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by olanajim(m): 1:12pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
Modupsie, I quite disagree with you on your friend's prediction of the new guy! I am a man and can tell you any man know how to "say" as long as it never happened. There is a great difference between something that had happened and something that is happening. You MUST NEVER TRY TO PREDICT A MAN'S REACTION TO UNCERTAIN FUTURE EXPERIENCE WITH 100% guaranttee. By that your statement, you assumed the man is perfect. That is wrong! Saying that she would forgive without it happening is fallacious. Try him. After the dust is settled. Tell the new guy that you made love to your ex and had gotten pregnant again! Watch his reaction and ask him if he would forgive you and marry you that way! Please be serious. Try it. Ensure that it is done as though it were real. One month or two. Get a fake pregnancy test result. Test the water. Then give us a feedback in 3 month! If you can do this, you would widen your experience. I commend her resolve to be patience and observe things. That is the best decision. It mean she won't lose on both sides. On a personal note, I am seeing a lady whose mind can easily be swayed by outward evaluation. Let her work on herself before marriage. A good combination of Almondjoy (1% though) frankness and Olanajim's open-minded plus her meekness will see her through. She must give a time frame for that experiment and also try to see if she can influence her ex's spiritual outlook. While doing this, she should pray for guidance. Best wish! |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by almondjoy(f): 8:42pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
And who is afraid of that? For no fault of mine?. . .they should go and ask their father please. If they have any common sense like I think they will. . .for no child of mine is stupid. . . they will place the blame where it should be. It does not mean I would not see to their welfare. But like I said. . .my happiness comes first. I do not live for anyone but myself. If they hate me. . .fine! If they love me. . .fine. One thing they will be thankful for though. . .is that I did not abort them. Abi? ![]() Shioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor!!!! For this one life to live and die? ![]() ![]() ![]() Not me I say! Let other weak minded, deperate ladies have him for a change. I say I am on ma way to Paris with my new boyfriend! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You are writing from the view point of a guy and I am writing from the view point of the lady. Fine! Everyone is accountable for himself or herself alone! |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by almondjoy(f): 8:57pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
Teriba: ![]() Anyone who lives his or her life on this planet by putting any other person first is a bloody fool! |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by almondjoy(f): 9:03pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
You are too brilliant for words! You always show that you can use the brain God gave you to think with on Nairaland. Kudos to you! Thank you ma dear. Like I am Jesus Christ or something? ![]() ![]() |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by almondjoy(f): 9:09pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
Oh sure! ![]() ALWAYS STUCK! What a sick portion in life! ![]() Twa! |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by almondjoy(f): 9:21pm On Apr 10, 2008 |
Like I said previously. . .I am happy you have chosen to be a monk! Please do not ever change your mind and try to be anything else! ![]() A wonderful guy who understands? And you think it was given on a bed of roses? The reason I say most of you will for ever remain single. You do not know how to command respect from your loved ones not to talk of your enemies. You just have no idea what you are preaching about! ![]() And BTW! This is America not an African Jungle where people treat each other like senseless beasts. . . most people, including maself or ma spouse do not put up with that kind of shitty indecision over here and they are still #1 in EVERYTHING in this world. What do you have in Africa but ignorance, sufferhead, poverty and disease? ![]() ![]() Thank you for at least agreeing it is a matter or choice! The only thing we can agree on here! ![]()
And who is afraid of a man that may change color at anytime? Show me whatever color you wish to present and I will definitely match you shade for shade and texture for texture! Na some deaf god to be worshipped or what? No be human being like maself? ![]() Who is afraid of the unknown? If you like marry an alhaji with 7 wives or a born again as the custodian of the "holy grail", man na man and woman na woman. You will still run a 50/50 chance of success and failure. So what is your point? Look, I am not afraid of failing when I know for sure I have no control over what people do around me. The lady in your story made her choice and I respect that. I would never remarry a young man, not to talk of an old man. For what? Only in Nigeria or some backward zoo of a country can someone marry an alhaji, leave and run back to her parents. One reason only. . .DESPERATION. Like most Nigerians exhibit no matter how educated. If she had any common sense in her mushy skull. . .the word alhaji should have given her a serious clue. All I need to hear is all those local terms such as "Otumba", "Chief this" or "Alhaji" that and I will not even look in his local direction. ![]() ![]() How can I in ma right mind go marry someone with a title in Nigeria when I know for a fact that means only one thing "polygamy"? ![]() TWA! |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by olanajim(m): 11:27am On Apr 11, 2008 |
Gosh! Firing from all cylinders! Points taken! On that monk issue, CUL! I sure have a joker! |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by yomicious2(f): 1:29pm On Apr 11, 2008 |
if she is now born again and she truly loves this new guy who knows her story and still loves her i would adise her to stick with him and go ahead with the marriage this can only b done if her first boy friend is not born again and is not willing to but as it is right now, if she still loves him (d former guy) and is willing to go back she can go back and tel him to formallise their marriage she shouldnt go back because of the children being pregnant for someone is NOT a yardstick to marry the person. |
Re: Should I Go Back To The Father Of My Children? by Youngpo413: 7:22am On Sep 18, 2015 |
modupsie:this one is beyond me o |
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