Thanks for the attention, not actually my own girlfriend, but my friend's. Hoped to get some advise here as he solicited mine.

Situation
He's not willing to get married but she wants to get married, but they have been dating for like 4years and they are both 24yrs old , both of them have agreed to keep the baby, the pregnancy is going to like 3-4months, but they are yet to announce to their parents, both of them are students, only he's a part time job, and the two families also live just next door to each other.

Here's what he needs an advise for:

He's saved enough all these years for the future, and thinks it might be best to move her out of the hostel to an apartment, and don't want her to stay back at home because he feels her parents will continue nagging plus being the talk of the town in their neighbourhood. also for convinience he's thinking of buying her a car for mobility and less risk for the baby before and after, she's born, mind you this stupid friend of mine still lives with his parents and doens't own a bicycle talkless of a car.

They haven't told their parents because they feels their parents will make decisions for them since they feel they'll be taking care of the bill, he plans to tell them once he feels he has been man enough to put a roof over her head and give her a car, which gives some right over decisions.

The problem is this, he doesn't want to live with her for personal reasons. They have a choice to choose btw a mini flat or a 3 bedroom apartment for her to live in, he thinks the mini flat is OK because he feels too much space will cost more to maintain and attract more people (which might also include her sister and brother and mother) to stay there, thereby costing him more to maintain more mouths, but because there might be needs for friends and family to stay with her sometimes she prefers the 3 bedroom, and also privacy

Please note, she's a first class student in her 3rd year of skool , plus she's a freelance journalist.

I THINK YOU'RE JOBLESS[color=#990000][/color]

What i don't understand is why you called him "stupid", if they're both happy and satisfied, then i see no problem.

I think they should be realistic and go for what they can afford. What use would it be to either of them if she takes the 3 bedrooms flat, and at the end of the day they can't meet up with the payment. When family show up, i'm sure they can all manage till things get totally better.

If the girl isn't happy, she has herself to blame. She knew what she wanted and went for the opposite. Secondly if she didn't want the baby, there are things she could have done to prevent it . . If she was out for a marriage-ready guy, she wouldn't have stuck to him after he told her he wasn't ready. Guess she was "hoping", well they do say "the patient dog eats the fattest bone", it might not be too late.

Another thing i don't get is what "personal reasons" he has that makes him want to live apart from his girlfriend and child??

@poster
posted b4 by one and only (muah).
check up wat i did and do same.
u wont regret. lol

Got a link to your post?

look simple unless somehow a miracle happens like in my case
where i got a good job b4 anyone cud notice
den he is all alone on this one.

Someone told me NEVER to rush into anything.

If he doesn't want to live with her then don't live with her.

If he moves in with her for the sole reason that she's pregnant then he stands a chance of resenting her especially if things start going south.

He did not get her pregnant by just looking at her or raping her, they made love and got pregnant, so they are both responsible for the situatuin they are in.

Let him provide for her as much as he can and make sure she's as comfortable as they[b](It takes 2 to tango[/b][i][/i]) can afford. As time goes by, if the urge to live together becomes stronger for him, then by all means they should go ahead and move in together in a place that will attract no one!

There's nothing that can kill a relationaship faster than medling relatives  

@poster

I don't think this kind of problem constitutes any cause for alarms anywhere in the world. . .including Nigeria. What's the big deal please?

There are more single parents now than ever in the world. . .and the last time I checked. . .they are all alive and well. Na by force to marry?

Congrats and get ready to start buying baby things !

forgot your condom again natty boy ;d

the guy dat posted this topic is lying.d matter happens to him.be sincere

Bros ur post is riddled with inconsistencies, down right fictitous assumptions e.t.c. i wonder why ppl r really giving u advice cause it just doesnt make sense e.g.

damola1:



Here's what he needs an advise for:

He's saved enough all these years for the future, and thinks it might be best to move her out of the hostel to an apartment, and don't want her to stay back at home because he feels her parents will continue nagging plus being the talk of the town in their neighbourhood. also for convinience he's thinking of buying her a car for mobility and less risk for the baby before and after, she's born, mind you this stupid friend of mine still lives with his parents and doens't own a bicycle talkless of a car.

kai haba, this must be the stupidest part of d gist. u r a student with a part time job and u have enough to want to rent a house as well as buy a car for a pregnant girlfriend whom u love but dont want to marry who (i.e. the girl) happens to be a part time journalist, nna take am easy

Nice player

if they are not ready for marriage, then they should abort, since its still 3-4months, the possibility of successful abortion is stil high, using the infusion method.

having a baby that ur not read for, will mar ur future plans.

i wonder y the guy no use condom.

haba.

Abortion is so not the best optio now. By the way, my guy wats the point of osting this topic whn ur friend has got everythn all planned out? As a matter of fact its not like a pblm its more like a solution.
Anywayz, if u seriously need an advice, tell this friend of urs, not to spend all his money and crs and house o! Cos whn the baby comes, the baby will sure need to wear clothes and change dipers, and they sure dont cost just a kobo, n mama and pikin must chop!!! So if hes not ready to run back to his parents or evn send the gurl to her own parents.
So if he wants to be independent he has to be independednt FULL TIME!!!!