Atheist:-D:


So if Obi met both together, how would he choose between the two?

Unluvable*:


And the level of love Obi feels is directly proportional to his desired qualities.

Obi will go for who has the highest scale of the qualities

Unluvable*:
@ OP

I think some people fall in love 'desired' qualities and not with the individual. That's the reason a they can fall in love with several persons that possess those qualities.

E.g. If Obi loves ada because she is pretty, smart, artistic and funny
Obi later loved nkem because she is pretty, smart, artistic and funny.

What this means is that obi is in love with pretty, smart, artistic and funny not necessarily ada or nkem. And the level of love Obi feels is directly proportional to his desired qualities.

Love aint blind indeed!!

Chei!!

I never knew we had so much analysts o

mekula:

In my opinion,
@1-4----Human capacity to love is infinite, hence we can love more than one person simultaeneously though in varying degrees. It is all about the mix. A combination of innate qualities and characteristics that we desire in the other person usually serves as the trigger. The more desirable qualities a prospect has, the higher up the desirability quotient ladder he/she moves hence the more the prospect is 'loved' above others.

@5-6---I'd like to think of a soulmate as one with the most number of desirable qualities that we can find yet before making that commitment.I think the soulmate factor comes to play when we meet that someone who meets or surpasses most of our expectations of our desirable qualities. However that can change if someone with more desirable traits shows up but it is very rare. Unfortunately, many don't get to meet their soulmates and only settle for those they can accommodate the most and vice versa.

Ooops! Gotta run, be back later.

U sure have a hang of it

walan:

No be small theorem o. More peops need to see this. As this education is seriously needed.
This kind of analysis is really outside what one usually sees around here. @OP I think this should be developed further and documented. It will serve as instruction for the upcoming, myself included(even though i be old man! ).

Nice one sha. Please dont let this insight die here o!

I dey class o.. and i must get A+ for this course

BoboYekini: Such unions are inherently unstable, like plutonium.

As is every other union once one or more desirable qualities starts diminishing. Mind you, these qualities can diminish in value as can also be replenished. Take beauty, financial recources, age and social standing as examples.

what most people see as love is just an emotional reaction to the desired quality that you want in a mate (in addition to scarcity). We don't really fall in love, we just get obsessed over certain traits that we like.

Love is just an emotion with an expiry date.

esere826: My wilderness years of breaking down LOVE lead me to these important questions

1) Why is it that when a partner dies, the living partner can later love again?
2) Why is it that someone can 'love' someone; if rejected he/she goes on to love another person later on?
3) Intelligence agencies have this way of sometimes waiting for years then appealing for people that have past information to come forward. They believe that at some point in future, bonds might have weakened

4) Why do some people fall inlove with more than one person?
5) Do we really have 'A' sould mate?
6) what happens if that soul mate is in Japan? (ref taken from TD Jakes)
7) What happens if the person whom we 'love' is married?
8 ) What happens if we love someone, the person gets missing for 6 years; we then love the 2nd person; then the 1st love appears (a rough example is Winnie and Nelson Mandela)
9) Is love only applicable when both parties love themselves? what if I love u, and u dont love me back. What happened? Did cupid missing and strike only one instead of both parties?


Look through these questions, critique, answer and draw some conclusions

I think your number 3 has pretty much answered 1-4.

5-6) we don't have A soul mate. We make somebody our soul mate. I could explain further if you want.

In fact all your questions can be summarized thus: Love is directly proportional to the number and quality of the desirable indices we find in our partner and inversely proportional to the distance (literal and figurative) between both parties and generally tends towards zero with time, irrespective of whether said parties get married of not.

My humble submission.

I gotta comment on this. I rarely write on nairaland.

I can't write explicitly about this topic right now. I might do so later.

But I must say that this has by far been the most educative thread I've found on NL in a very long time.

I might return to post my personal thoughts.

OP, Ajanlekoko, Yekini, Briggs, and all the other posters, your sincerity and peculiar way of handling this very sensitive topic is awesome. Your descriptions with numbers, physics, dynamics, facts & figures are breathtaking!

I'll be back.


*I rarely write on NL these days. This thread was too good to ignore!*

That sure was fun reading.

mekula:

What about a situation where the guy is humble and 'level headed' or the pity factor? Some unions are born out of pity for the other fellow, some urge to be seen as the hero or redeemer.

I think the pity factor works more with guys reaching out to girls (That's what i've seen).
for the few girls that I have seen that manage guys based on pity factor, I have observed a lot of cheating by the girls

How about the rebellion factor? Some people may want to get involved with people from a particular social stratum in defiance to family traditions.

If what you mean is that the relationship is formed in order to despice family authority... well, me I never observe this one for Nigeria yet ooo
so I never bothered to reflect on it

Atheist:-D:
@ OP

What about "bedroom power"? Did you account for that in your detailed equations and analogy? Do you not think that it plays a role in attaining and even holding partners?

Didnt account for that . No

What about the fluidity within a relationship? Some partners date up but are more likely to stick to their partner if their social or financial status changes... other are not.

I agree and do see folks sticking together a lot once they have 'settled' into marriage no matter what comes after this. I suspect its mainly because they almost mentally become one unit and many times a block has been built against external toasters

For those not married (in Nigeria) there could be a greater driver for them to part ways especially as they do not live together and so are not yet 'fully' mentally integrated. This could come by ways of suddenly noticing and highlighting faults that have always existed. Added to this there are little or no barriers to external toasters that can capitalize on the weakening and doubt infested bond

How can we tell which will stay and which will leave?

I no know ooo

Dr. Tee:

OP, Ajanlekoko, Yekini, Briggs, and all the other posters , your sincerity and peculiar way of handling this very sensitive topic is awesome. Your descriptions with numbers, physics, dynamics, facts & figures are breathtaking!

!*

I suspect that these guys are Dyy type guys
Ladies... take note

L̃̾Õ☺Õ̾Ô=D=))ÕÔ☺ÔÕ̾L̃̾ zzzzzz @ Dyy.

I'm honoured to be so considered by our dear Prof Esere. Indeed, however, going by the age ranges for the various differentials in page 1, I think I'll fit in as a Dxy.

That said, I'm a little surprised that a thread like this is not attracting the attention and followership it duly deserves, despite being on the front page.

If we were to be discussing some gossip stuff, sex story, or busy-body-Boston-bombings, even when our people (sycophants) would be mum on the Borno 185 but would rather raise all the hue about 2 deaths in Boston, this thread would be jam-packed. That way, I'm not too surprised.

@Dxy, that indeed might describe me. But there is a huge problem getting the right woman. The averagely tall and fair girl whom I seek isn't often intelligent. When you find one who is, she is materialistic and myopic. When you find one who has the initial three and lacks the next two, she isn't a Christian, or isn't a practicing christian. When you get one who is averagely tall, fair, intelligent and a good christian devoid of any form of immorality, she isn't a Roman Catholic like I am.

And she often is unwilling to leave her church or become Catholic - as I wouldn't want to convert a lady because of marriage. If you love me & would marry me, then you must from now let your God be my God and my people your people!

So U see, different strokes for different people. This marriage thing is indeed benumbling. I feel almost tired. Single & ready, but where is the lady?

Maybe I it is because I spend too much time at work in the hospital or because I'm a conservative christian or because I can't dance hiphop or don't go to clubs. Maybe it is because I don't drink or party...

But I'm searching and I don't seem to be able to find Miss Right! But like my signature indicates, I'm not desperate or very worried about time, but I'm now a little bothered about the dearth of good women with the right qualities... They seem so few or so far away from me...

^^^
ok naw
well done
chei u done use style advertise yaself

esere826: ^^^
ok naw
well done
chei u done use style advertise yaself

Lol, that's what really happened now, he just advertised himself, qualified and interested ladies over to you.

Dr. Tee:
L̃̾Õ☺Õ̾Ô=D=))ÕÔ☺ÔÕ̾L̃̾ zzzzzz @ Dyy.

I'm honoured to be so considered by our dear Prof Esere. Indeed, however, going by the age ranges for the various differentials in page 1, I think I'll fit in as a Dxy.

That said, I'm a little surprised that a thread like this is not attracting the attention and followership it duly deserves, despite being on the front page.

If we were to be discussing some gossip stuff, sex story, or busy-body-Boston-bombings, even when our people (sycophants) would be mum on the Borno 185 but would rather raise all the hue about 2 deaths in Boston, this thread would be jam-packed. That way, I'm not too surprised.

@Dxy, that indeed might describe me. But there is a huge problem getting the right woman. The averagely tall and fair girl whom I seek isn't often intelligent. When you find one who is, she is materialistic and myopic. When you find one who has the initial three and lacks the next two, she isn't a Christian, or isn't a practicing christian. When you get one who is averagely tall, fair, intelligent and a good christian devoid of any form of immorality, she isn't a Roman Catholic like I am.

And she often is unwilling to leave her church or become Catholic - as I wouldn't want to convert a lady because of marriage. If you love me & would marry me, then you must from now let your God be my God and my people your people!

So U see, different strokes for different people. This marriage thing is indeed benumbling. I feel almost tired. Single & ready, but where is the lady?

Maybe I it is because I spend too much time at work in the hospital or because I'm a conservative christian or because I can't dance hiphop or don't go to clubs. Maybe it is because I don't drink or party...

But I'm searching and I don't seem to be able to find Miss Right! But like my signature indicates, I'm not desperate or very worried about time, but I'm now a little bothered about the dearth of good women with the right qualities... They seem so few or so far away from me...

You could have found miss right here....just that she aint religious

The typical 'dude' would give $0.02 about dating any which way, as long as he gets just enough sekx ( clean sex like in the movies oo) to keep him mild and mellow. In these parts, unfortunately, the babes don't give a damn, even with changing sekxual mores. It's rich, or nothing for you. Most of the time anyways.
So, I hope for a time when, kinda like western society, the women become genuinely more generous with sekxual favors(at least with their contemporaries) whilst still keeping with their dating ideals(upward). Wouldn't hold my breath though,

My guy and I where mulling over this issue when he suggested that we would have a better deal if many of the rich guys suddenly died off, surely lots of women left over for us dxy( sorry esere, na my demographic be dis, not dyy ).
Regrettably, we both know this would only exponentially increase the pool for the few (now doubly desirable) dyy rich guys. Leaving us to roast as before.

BoboYekini: ......................
My guy and I where mulling over this issue when he suggested that we would have a better deal if many of the rich guys suddenly died off, surely lots of women left over for us dxy( sorry esere, na my demographic be dis, not dyy ).
Regrettably, we both know this would only exponentially increase the pool for the few (now doubly desirable) dyy rich guys. Leaving us to roast as before.

-1stly on behalf of your avid female admirers, I am saddened to note say u be Dxy guy. God dey sha
-2ndly if una kill of say 99% of Dyy guys, there would be opening for una to hammer and become the new Dyy type (refer to my business thread with its link in 1st page)

-3rdly, (if say there is no status mobility upwards to fill the Dyy space left by your murder) the 1% Dyy guys left cannot possibly se.xually handle the millions of available females.
This gives you the oppurtunity to nail/date/wed from a wide pool of available ladies.

your idea of snuffing out the lives of Dyy guys might not be bad afterall
*damn!!, I think I need to start protecting myself*

Unluvable*:


You could have found miss right here....just that she aint religious

As for u
I hope u know that Seun expects folks that do adverts in NL to pay

Ishilove: Esere, you didn't factor Love into your analysis. Love can make a woman who is way up there in the food chain stoop to date and stick with a guy who earns far less than her. Love makes mincemeat of your submission, in my humble opinion.

the notion of love is rare in these parts.

esere826:

As for u
I hope u know that Seun expects folks that do adverts in NL to pay

Haba the guy describe me na, except the religious part
*it aint advert, remember I'm 'Unluvable' *

Well i think ultimately the females lose in this equation...

esere826:

-1stly on behalf of your avid female admirers, I am saddened to note say u be Dxy guy. God dey sha
-2ndly if una kill of say 99% of Dyy guys, there would be opening for una to hammer and become the new Dyy type (refer to my business thread with its link in 1st page)

-3rdly, (if say there is no status mobility upwards to fill the Dyy space left by your murder) the 1% Dyy guys left cannot possibly se.xually handle the millions of available females.
This gives you the oppurtunity to nail/date/wed from a wide pool of available ladies.

your idea of snuffing out the lives of Dyy guys might not be bad afterall
*damn!!, I think I need to start protecting myself*

Dr. Tee:
L̃̾Õ☺Õ̾Ô=D=))ÕÔ☺ÔÕ̾L̃̾ zzzzzz @ Dyy.

I'm honoured to be so considered by our dear Prof Esere. Indeed, however, going by the age ranges for the various differentials in page 1, I think I'll fit in as a Dxy.

That said, I'm a little surprised that a thread like this is not attracting the attention and followership it duly deserves, despite being on the front page.

If we were to be discussing some gossip stuff, sex story, or busy-body-Boston-bombings, even when our people (sycophants) would be mum on the Borno 185 but would rather raise all the hue about 2 deaths in Boston, this thread would be jam-packed. That way, I'm not too surprised.

I thought this thread would have been up to 30+ pages by now, I guess there is a dearth of intelligent people with a good sense of humor on NL. Some people, I suspect may find it difficult to contribute to such an intellectual thread and still take advantage of the comic relief inherent in it. NLers like to comment on emotion-based topics where they can vent their frustration and anger and heap it on the next guy, but when it comes to any brain exercize, they go AWOL.

mekula:

I thought this thread would have been up to 30+ pages by now, I guess there is a dearth of intelligent people with a good sense of humor on NL.

Na u get problem
if everybody be mumu, u no go follow them?

U know how boring it would be for u to be the only intelligent person for NL
U better stop emphasising El Rufais assertion that our youths are unintelligent oooo
we like it like this

Some people, I suspect may find it difficult to contribute to such an intellectual thread and still take advantage of the comic relief inherent in it. NLers like to comment on emotion-based topics where they can vent their frustration and anger and heap it on the next guy, but when it comes to any brain exercize, they go AWOL .

pareto's principle comes to mind sha

Unluvable*:


You could have found miss right here....just that she aint religious

Are u indirectly saying you are miss right?

mekula:

I thought this thread would have been up to 30+ pages by now, I guess there is a dearth of intelligent people with a good sense of humor on NL. Some people, I suspect may find it difficult to contribute to such an intellectual thread and still take advantage of the comic relief inherent in it. NLers like to comment on emotion-based topics where they can vent their frustration and anger and heap it on the next guy, but when it comes to any brain exercize, they go AWOL.

Just incase you do not know,now you know. Just like the topic says,there's a dwindling pool of intelligent people on nairaland - intellect aint cheap. Most of them would rather go to the thread where the winner of next rated award is being interviewed. It's easier for them to understand what they're doing there than to reason with the logic here. Most nigerians are intellectually lazy.

I think our economy, environment does not encourage much on people to become intellectuals. It starts from our home,streets, friends, etc...

Whenever I visit a forum where Americans gather like eagles, man you got to love those guys as they pour over arguement with analytic description and projection of their points and also backing it up with proof of facts that could be curled from any available resources, which also help to give a better understanding!

chronique:


Just incase you do not know,now you know. Just like the topic says,there's a dwindling pool of intelligent people on nairaland - intellect aint cheap. Most of them would rather go to the thread where the winner of next rated award is being interviewed. It's easier for them to understand what they're doing there than to reason with the logic here. Most nigerians are intellectually lazy.

chronique:


Are u indirectly saying you are miss right?

I only said I fit into the list he was spilling and I don't believe there's such a thing as 'miss right' or 'mr right'
Remember the topic was all bout dating pool where selection is done based on desired qualities.....

2sexy.us:
I think our economy, environment does not encourage much on people to become intellectuals. It starts from our home,streets, friends, etc...

Whenever I visit a forum where Americans gather like eagles, man you got to love those guys as they pour over arguement with analytic description and projection of their points and also backing it up with proof of facts that could be curled from any available resources, which also help to give a better understanding!

We are just being lazy and the corporate media is not doing anything to help the youth. Heck, the youth have access to blackberry and internet but instead of availing themselves of myriads of opportunities that exist in the surreal world of cybertech, they prefer to download and trend anything azonto.(I just might burst my kungfu on someone the next time I hear any other azonto song ) I wonder if I had taken JAMB in this day and age or gone to the university in this day and age, with the amount of resources at my disposal now, hmmmnnnn! Na ace be dat, like seriously. They have everything easier now and instead of taking advantage of it, they are wasting it. We are plain lazy. We want fame and fortune without the good old labour and hardwork. I agree times have changed and there are smarter ways of making a living, but how many of them know anything apart from yahoo and entertainment? Meet up with the girls and it is only brazillian hair and make up. Nothing upstairs, no grey matter, only tissue paper and used condoms full them heads. Sorry I sound harsh, maybe the problem is with me. I'm just plain old fashioned!

webb jamie: Well i think ultimately the females lose in this equation...

aye aye, i'll drink to that.

esere826:

-1stly on behalf of your avid female admirers, I am saddened to note say u be Dxy guy. God dey sha
-2ndly if una kill of say 99% of Dyy guys, there would be opening for una to hammer and become the new Dyy type (refer to my business thread with its link in 1st page)

-3rdly, (if say there is no status mobility upwards to fill the Dyy space left by your murder) the 1% Dyy guys left cannot possibly se.xually handle the millions of available females.
This gives you the oppurtunity to nail/date/wed from a wide pool of available ladies.

your idea of snuffing out the lives of Dyy guys might not be bad afterall
*damn!!, I think I need to start protecting myself*

lol, on guard sir! Let us duel for the nyansh of that fair damsel yonder (ishilove)

On a side note, what are your thoughts on the pick-up artist scene? Do you think such aids to seduction might work in Nigeria? maybe with a little local spin?