IS AKPORS A STUPID LOVER?

Mr and Mrs Akpors at a Zoo walk past a gorilla enclosure.

Mrs Akpors: Dear, do u know that gorillas are the only animals which resemble men in their behavior? Look, seeing that no one is looking, I’ll expose one of my breasts to it & see how Hot it gets just like men do.

Mrs Akpors then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla gets excited and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.

‘U See,’ says Mrs Akpors, ‘Now, I know why you react the way you do; men can’t control their animal instincts just like gorillas can’t, Men and gorillas are d same.’

Akpors replied: ‘Now expose both breasts and let us see what happens.’

Mrs Akpors exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it gets very excited and is now desperately trying to escape from the enclosure.

Akpors says: ‘This is incredible, now, pull your skirt up, turn around and expose your bum and let us see what happens!’

Mrs Akpors pulls her skirt up, turns around with her bum to the gorilla, which by now was extremely aroused, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs her and starts yanking the clothes off her.

Mrs Akpors yells: ‘Sweetheart, what do I do now? Please, help me!’

Akpors replies: ‘Now, tell him you are on your period, u have a headache and you are not in mood’. Let us see if Gorillas and Men are really the same.

AKPORS SHOWS A LADY HE IS A NO NONSENSE MAN

Akpors sits next to a girl on a table in a hotel

Akpors: hello madam?
Lady: what is it?
Akpors: sorry madam , just wanted to ask what the time is on your watch?
Lady: ehee …now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time
Akpors: but madam
Lady: shut up!!!

Akpors takes out his Apple phone and makes call
Akpors: hello John I just settled from Washington D.C can you please tell me what time it is right now so that I set my clock to the local time since it still reads American time? *she listens*

Ok, thank you and today don’t forget to come for the galaxy tablet that you requested * she listens*
Since my girl is still in America bring me a beautiful girl to spend my money with tonight Ok bye

Lady: sir the time is ….
Akpors: shut up !!!!!

The Devil Beats Akpors at His Game

Queen Elizabeth, Bill Gates and Akpors died and went to hell.

The Devil has only one phone and he charges to make a call. The queen told Him she’ll like to call England to know how her people are fairing.

She talked for 5 minutes and asked for her bill. He charged her $5000 , she signed him a cheque and went back to her seat.

Bill Gates also made a call to the US , talked for ten minutes and the Devil charged him $10 Million.

When it was time for Akpors, he thought he had to utilize his money since the devil is going to charge him heavily. He called
Nigeria and talked for One hour 30 mins. Then he asked the devil for the price. The devil said, its only N30, suprised Akpors asked why, the Devil replied; “you know this is Hell, and a call to another Hell is cheap since its a local call”

Akpors Pulled Some Creative Stunt With Mum

The conversation below was between Akpors and his mum and you’ll definitely love what went down. Enjoy and drop a comment below

Akpors: I’m Hungary,

Mum: Why don’t you Czech the
fridge.

Akpors: Ok Mum, i’m Russian to the kitchen.

Mum: Hmmm! Maybe you’ll find
some Turkey.

Akpors: Yeah! but it’s all covered in
Greece. yuck!.

Mum: There is Norway you can
eat that.

Akpors: I know, I guess i’ll just
have a can of Chile.

Mum: Denmark your name on
the can.

Akpors: Kenya do it for me?.

Mum: Ok, I’m Ghana do it.

Akpors: Thanks Mum! I’m so tired Iran for an hour today.

Mum: It Tokyo long enough.

Akpors: Yes Mum, Israelly hard sometimes.

Akpors and The Robbers

Akpors was on his way back home early one morning when he came across robbers. They got hold of him. He struggled and struggled
but they over powered him.

When they searched him and found only One torn #200 note on him, the following dialogue ensured.

ROBBERS: (Angrily)Wait Oh, so na dis nonsense tear tear #200 nai make u dey follow us dey struggle b4, abi u no dey fear gun wen bullet dey

AKPORS: No oh, how I no fear gun wen bullet dey, I bn tink say una wan collect de #10,000 wen I hide inside my stuckins for my right leg shoe b4

They had to retrieve Akpors from the Hospital.

Akpors and the Pharmacist

Jokes: Akpors gets into a pharmacy & says 2 d
pharmacist, “Hello, could u give me condom?
I’m going 2 my girlfriend’s place 4 dinner & I think I mayb in with a chance!”
D pharmacist gives him d condom & as he was going out he returns & says,”Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s sister is very cute too, she always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me & I think I might strike a luck there too.
“D pharmacist gives him a second condom& as he was leaving, again he turns back & says “Give me one more condom because my girlfriend’s mom is still pretty cute & when she sees me she always makes eye contact & since she invited me 4 dinner I think she is
expecting me 2 make a move.
During dinner, Akpors sat with his girlfriend on d left ,d sister on his right & d mum facing him. When d girlfriend’s Dad walks in, Akpors lowers his head & starts d dinner prayer.”Dear Lord, bless this dinner & thank u 4 all u’v given
us” 10minutes after, Akpors was still praying “Thank u Lord 4 ur kindness.” Another Ten minutes gone by & he is still praying, keeping his head down, very close 2 d table.
They all looked at each other surprised, & his girlfriend was even more surprised than others. She gets close to him & whispered, “I didn’t know u’r so religious. “Akpors replies, “I
never knew ur dad was a pharmacist!”.
See wahala !!! If you’re akpors…wat will u do?

Very funny 1,2.

i will dash out of the of the house before the man esposes me.

lmfao... Jst can't stand it... Meeeehn, i wil ball out ooo in d course of d prayer ooo.

I am going to dash out with the slightest opportunity or better still continue with the prayer

Really funny

very funny, kudos guy

I go turn Jesus...Straight 40days and 40 night prayer..I go even request for headtie with my head still bowed.