Well, I want you guys to read this and give me your humble opinion/advice.

I happen to meet a guy in a bus sometime in February, infact his face was not new to me as I had been seeing him like every other passenger en route to Yaba. But on a particular day, he stopped me as I alighted from the bus (we always alight at the same bus stop) and introduced himself to me as Henry and I did the same too, at that time what was going through my mind was that “I know this face?? Well we exchanged complimentary cards and he actually told me that the main attraction was my hair, its very long well, he walked me down to my gate, that was how our friendship started. I had already told him I have a boyfriend but that did not deter him (though, I lied) I used that to see how serious he was, with time I came to like him, everyday we called ourselves on the phone, when I am leaving the office, I would call him on phone and tell him I was leaving the office so we would meet at the bus stop, his office happens to be in Ikoyi while mine in V.I, we would chat till we alight and walk down to my gate, he happens to be Yoruba while I am Ibo but that was not a problem as I was ready to face any challenge our tribal differences would bring about, but on one faithful evening when we were gisting, he said something to me and said from a “Jehovah’s Witness point of view” I was shocked to the bone and I stopped talking and was staring at him and I said, what did u just say because when I earlier asked him the church he attended he told me he was a “Christian on Vacation” that he was still looking around to see a very good church to attend and I also know I had invited him to come to my church and he had turned down the offer so he repeated the same thing he said and I said to him “Why did u keep this from me till now? He answered that each time he tells a close friend that he is a JW that they abandon him and he was also scared of loosing me. Well it didn’t really go down well with me because I have always disliked the JW’s (apologies to JW) but that is just how I feel about them.

We did not see or discuss for 2days, on the third day he called me on phone and said we needed to see, and I said what for? he said we just have to see and I said ok, when we eventually saw that evening, he tried to explain why he had kept it away from me all this time and that he just attends their church, he has not been baptized, that it is only when you are baptized that you become a real JW and I said that is all crap, as far as I am concerned you are one of them, he further said that his parents are Catholics and all members of his family that it is just him and his junior brother that attends JW and Redeem, well I said I am not friends with your family, it is you I am friends with and I do not think I can continue this friendship if You are a member of JW, he then replied that have I also forgotten that he is a Christian on Vacation? well that got my attention and I calmed down and I told him I can attend any church but JW, I can never and I do not think I can date someone that does because we will always be at loggerheads, when they come to preach to me at my place I do not even give them that chance so we can never get along and the earlier I stop this farce of a relationship the better, so I left on that day (Friday) with the hope that my dear friend is a “Christian on vacation” and when he gives it a deep thought, he may go to other church that is not JW.

We did not speak on Saturday, On Sunday I was wondering why he didn’t call on Saturday, so I called him that Sunday about 11 – 12pm and told him that I was just calling to find out if he was actually in Nigeria? (My Joke) he laughed and said that he is, that he was sorry not to have called but I told him I was very busy and cut off the phone, he later sent me a text that he was in a miserable mood on Saturday and he was just coming back from JW meeting and that he would call me later. At first it didn’t click, when it did I thought to myself “JW meeting?” Is he not supposed to be “Christian on Vacation?” so with that I Immediately sent a text message that I had given it a deep thought and came to the conclusion that we stopped seeing each other and that also includes phone call that “Birds of different feather do not flock together”.

On Wednesday 2nd April, I felt I had to really expatiate that he may misunderstand why I had sent that kind of spontaneous text to him, so I sent him a mail on his Yahoo mail box and since then, I have not spoken with him and neither have we seen.

I am really tempted to call him but if I do and we reconcile, that “JW” issue that started the whole quarrel would still be hanging? WHAT DO You GUYS THINK? I really do like him, am missing him but……………………………… that issue has to be resolved, he really does not have to attend my church but I want him to discontinue attending JW. Please guys am I being selfish Your individual response/advice would be highly appreciated.

this is a tough one, but religios diff is a major issue in relationships, though i blv u gjuys shud havent have broken up so hastily, u cud hv delibrated on the matter, after all u r just friends, u guys aint dating yet, so no strings attached,


it wud hv been an issue, if u gys were having a real relationship, but from what u said, u guys r just friends,

does it mean u cant hv muslim friends

Check out this post, maybe you might pick one or two things: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-123222.0.html

Meanwhile, are you positive you are not basing your disgust for JW on ignorance about what you think you know about them?, you might have got on the wrong foot with your understanding of JW,

my dear, u shouldnt havent broken up so quickly,
at least u could have seen if u could convert him to ur own belief.but hey, if u really like him, u call himback

I forgot to add that we had graduated from being friends to dating, i have started having soft spot for him and also afraid that if it degenerate, i may not be able to leave him hence my hasty decision to leave him before i fall helplessly in love with him.

I do not really have anything against being plain friends with them but Lovers?? The thought of JW really leaves a sad taste in my mouth.

what exactly is the problem with a JW?

ok u hv clarified things,

but i still insist that u guys shudnt hv broken up hastily, u guys acted immaturely

what happened to talking things over??, n like someone else remarked ur distaste of JW might b borne out of ignorance, anyways, mesef no dig them too!!!

larrybabe

I don't see why you had to condemn him. It is not Christ like. You shoudn't have judged him. Instead you should have been open to understanding him. You should definitely know as you are a Catholic. Many condmen us because they do not understand us or do not wish to understand us or choose to deny the truth. You owe him an apology. Even if you do not agree with him that doesn't mean you should bluntly end it and pass judgment on him.

We are to respect others despite their beliefs. We are to show love to them because this is the only way to bring them to the truth. Remember Christ dined with the sinners and not the holy ones. Be like Christ.

Wow, that was a long read, and rare for me, but I read every word.

Larrybabe, I think you were unduly hard on him, just because he's a JW?

Without trying to understand him, or where he's coming from, you've literally hung, drawn and quartered the guy. I thought part of Christianity was acceptance? You're not practicing your faith at all, because you've passed judgement on your man, and condemned him.

I know as humans, we tend to fear the unknown, things we don't understand. But, in any relationship, there must be compromise. I feel your stance in this matter is way too rigid. You're not willing to give this guy a chance. I should imagine he must be feeling pretty miserable. Don't you feel he deserves more? A little understanding?

I think you should contact him, I feel he deserves that much. You cut him dead, like he was a leper.

my dear you have the eye to see far ahead of you,
you should always listen to that little voice in you telling you things .
if not you will regrate it.
if you cannot deal with it let it go b4 you start it off.

I really appreciate all your responses, well it got me thinking and at this rate, i am really confused.

Somebody mentioned that i judged him too quickly, he may be miserable blah, blah, blah!!!!

If i tell u guys that i have not been miserable, i would be the biggest liar on this earth!! I have, but like "Mamaput" rightly said "If you cannot deal with it let it go before you start it off."

Well, when i eventually conclude, i will let u guys know what i intend to do or what i would have done.

Thanks y'all.

larrybabe

Do not judge this man. I know mamput said what was appealing to you because you were probably trying to justify your actions.
Point is you judged him. Even if you do not want to have a relationship with him (it's not by force) you did do an injustice to this man by labelling him and you do owe him an apology.
Jesus was done an injustice too, and you by judging this man did the same as Christ's judge.
He is a part of Christ's body and you judged him, you judged Christ.

@ Poster
What EXACTLY do you think will happen if you guys date? You'll turn into a pillar of salt? He is also Christian for goodness sakes.

As Christians, how can we preach love, peace and tolerance to the world when we don't the same thing to our fellow Christians?

This is tough .
Very tough indeed !
He seems like a genuinely nice guy but you may ask yourself if you believe the way he believes
and if your answer is no,you may let him go because that will be a nagging issue in the relationship.

$

Actually, i know it will result to marriage and the JW thing is going to be an issue that was why i sent that spontaneous text, i happen to be 31yrs & he 34yrs, we are not kids and at this stage we are not dating for dating sake, he's told me several times that he wants to settle down and he has a problem finding the right woman. I feel some girls take his niceness for granted and some left him because of the JW issue.

For calls, he does that a lot more than i do not minding how long he stays on the phone. He has shown me a lot of signs that he is serious, even when he would be meeting a lady for business, he tells me so as to let me in on what goes on in his life, sometimes i ask him why are you telling me all these, he would just say, i feel since you are the one i am with, you have a right to know and to an extent, i really do appreciate it.

He does not really mind spending for me, i know some guys, when they spend a dime they want to get your pound of flesh in return, it is not as if he has not asked but each time he comes close to me to as much as give me a kiss i always turn him down and he doesnt really feel offended, he understands the fact that i do not really want to get down with just anybody i start dating and also that does not stop him from spending for me but that is beside the point.

I concluded yesterday that i condemned him and too soon for that matter, so i swallowed my pride and sent him a message that "Hi, never knew i would send this sms but something serious & urgent came up it is very imperative that we see, you fix the time/day/venue but if you feel you do not want to , i'll understand. Take care."

I sent this at about 3pm yesterday afternoon and he replied at about 9pm that "I got your SMS but i have been cracking my brain all day trying to find the time. Lets look at this Sunday. Will give you 2hrs notice of the time & venue on the day.

So guys, there you go, i will definitely keep u updated.


Thanks.

larrybabe most of the people here are still very young to understand.
but there are 3 main things that can keep you unhappy in your marrage.
money , family and religion.
you have been able to see far ahead what can come out of it.
we are only talking about a date here not a boyfriend, not someone she has a child with or is committed to in anyway
by the way lady its not about judging but about analyzing a situation. larrybabe has done that and come up with a result.
the result stasy the same . question is can she live with it or not.
if not move on. nobody is obliged to marry the first man that comes your way

*

Larrybabe, we v got sth in common. I'm catholic and also seeing a witness, nd i 'd tell you he's the most loving, giving, gentle n selfless person i've eva met n we love each other very much.we've known each other for 2yrs now. i really have my doubts coz of the witness thing. we dont agree on religion at all. did you know that witnesses re disallowed frm marrying non-witnesses? they dont celebrate xmas,easter, birthdays, dont vote, etc etc, ironically he's d one who's talking marriage.
its not easy.
but you dnt have any reason to hate JW jus coz their beliefs are utterlly diff frm ours. however the truth is you cant ignore the relig. differences. I ask myself everyday, can i marry him,smtimes i feel yes, sometimes,no. but he's a truly wonderful person.

@poster
Sugar is sweet doesn't make it good for you. Is the way he makes you feel now worth not being able to share your thoughts and beliefs about God with him?Will it be worth not celebrating your kids' birthdays,not celebrating Christmas when your family will probably be expecting a general one-big-family celebration?Will it be worth forfeiting Communion, Stations of the cross,Easter vigil with all those lovely easter candles,etc? Is it worth forfeiting nearly everything you've ever believed about God,and watching your kids grow up not knowing the things you know?

Like you said,you two aren't kids.Someone's got to be converted to the other's belief,no two-ways about it.Yeah sure,we're all Christians and stuff,some will say,but its unfortunate that though we're all Christians,we still believe different things and act in different ways.So the 'we're all christians' thing isn't gonna hold up here.

Woman,use your head.Avoid trouble while you still can,cos once you marry him,that's it.So go have your talk with him,and make the right choice.

I am really glad to have understanding people on this thread, all your contributions/advice have been very helpful.

Well the slated date of meeting happened to be on Sunday, because of that I made sure I finished everything I needed to do on time, I took my bath and waited from 12pm – 5.45pm when I left for evening mass, he never did call nor text, I felt bad though even if I prayed over it in church.

At the meeting I had planned to apologise (eyeball to eyeball) for condemning him outright and ask that we be just Hi/Hello friends with no hard feelings because my initial SMS to him may have suggested that we were enemies and if he had come up with “I have decided to change my place of worship” then I may have given him another chance. But as it is my little effort was in vain, I guess we were never destined to be, whatever guilt I felt initially had left me and I really want to forge ahead with my life because truly speaking, I do not think I would have wanted to continue dating a JW even if they stand for everything that is good, I love my Catholic faith a lot, like Cristalz rightly put it:

Cristalz:

@poster
Sugar is sweet doesn't make it good for you. Is the way he makes you feel now worth not being able to share your thoughts and beliefs about God with him?Will it be worth not celebrating your kids' birthdays,not celebrating Christmas when your family will probably be expecting a general one-big-family celebration?Will it be worth forfeiting Communion, Stations of the cross,Easter vigil with all those lovely easter candles,etc? Is it worth forfeiting nearly everything you've ever believed about God,and watching your kids grow up not knowing the things you know?

I would never give up any of that for the world.

[

larrybabe: I am really glad to have understanding people on this thread, all your contributions/advice have been very helpful.

Well the slated date of meeting happened to be on Sunday, because of that I made sure I finished everything I needed to do on time, I took my bath and waited from 12pm – 5.45pm when I left for evening mass, he never did call nor text, I felt bad though even if I prayed over it in church.

At the meeting I had planned to apologise (eyeball to eyeball) for condemning him outright and ask that we be just Hi/Hello friends with no hard feelings because my initial SMS to him may have suggested that we were enemies and if he had come up with “I have decided to change my place of worship” then I may have given him another chance. But as it is my little effort was in vain, I guess we were never destined to be, whatever guilt I felt initially had left me and I really want to forge ahead with my life because truly speaking, I do not think I would have wanted to continue dating a JW even if they stand for everything that is good, I love my Catholic faith a lot, like Cristalz rightly put it:



I would never give up any of that for the world.

It's better you guys quit, if you are truely telling us the truth here.

But may I ask why you hate the witnesses? I hated them before, but the fact is that, people do not always have a valid scriptural reason of hating them.

Take a look at how you value the xmas, easter, and birthdays. You see, you dont even care about what the bible say about those celebrations, but you cant let it go anyway. Is that really love for God? or is it that you worship God by your own terms. God has to accept your way of worshipping Him, whether it is against his rules or not. is that what you will expect from the JW who thinks that is wrong?

I think, you should rather ask yourself: Am I really serving God the right way? Does the scripture really support what I do?

I think when you sincerely muse over this, you will discover who should hate what the other believes.

larrybabe: I forgot to add that we had graduated from being friends to dating, i have started having soft spot for him and also afraid that if it degenerate, i may not be able to leave him hence my hasty decision to leave him before i fall helplessly in love with him.

I do not really have anything against being plain friends with them but Lovers?? The thought of JW really leaves a sad taste in my mouth.

You hav nt fall inlove with him yet, you only have feelings for him and now that you have find out that his a JW(whc you dnt like), the feelings wil grow more weaker.. feelings dont grow old, it come and go

I will advice you to make a good friendship with him, becos in a case like this, friendship will be far more better than love, at least it will last longer.

JMAN05:

It's better you guys quit, if you are truely telling us the truth here.

But may I ask why you hate the witnesses? I hated them before, but the fact is that, people do not always have a valid scriptural reason of hating them.

Take a look at how you value the xmas, easter, and birthdays. You see, you dont even care about what the bible say about those celebrations, but you cant let it go anyway. Is that really love for God? or is it that you worship God by your own terms. God has to accept your way of worshipping Him, whether it is against his rules or not. is that what you will expect from the JW who thinks that is wrong?

I think, you should rather ask yourself: Am I really serving God the right way? Does the scripture really support what I do?

I think when you sincerely muse over this, you will discover who should hate what the other believes.

lol

anyways, its not at all hard to understand a person; it's only hard to listen without bias

am not surprise at ur comment, becos you ar a JW and you will for sure support your brother. I dont blame you shaa, you only see what you are trained too see..


Happy christmasss!!!

Jehova gin? a beg dump his sorry ass

Dnaz: Jehova gin? a beg dump his sorry ass

bros take it easy, love could be blind

woky: bros take it easy, love could be blind

people that prefer spreading controversy more than the good news. they are all twisted

Dnaz:
people that prefer spreading controversy more than the good news. they are all twisted

chai

Catholics can't marry JW, Anglicans can't mingle methodists, protestants can't mingle with presbyterians, and you all call yourselves xtians. Religion has only brought more decimation. Simple!

afroxyz: Catholics can't marry JW, Anglicans can't mingle methodists, protestants can't mingle with presbyterians, and you all call yourselves xtians. Religion has only brought more decimation. Simple!

Yeah. It's sad.