Hey there, This a thread for people who consider themselves as commitment shy [like myself] to talk out thier heart albiet anonymously. Anyway, Mine can be quite bad o...I have even been described as 'Emotionally Unavailable'. I try hard to grasp the magnitude and responsibilities associated with relationship. I have long term friends of both sexes sha. How does one make him/herself available emotionally? I try to be a romantic, a good guy and all. I suck at keeping up the call/text every minute thingy. Recently, its gotten so bad that a girl told me that i need to see a doctor as she can't figure out what is always on my mind and making me distance. Could be it because of my experiences at a tender age? I have to admit that sometimes im very worried where this may leave me in future...

I am also like you Op (though I think say your own worse pass my own o ).

So, what is the purpose of the thread sir?

Is it for us to share experiences or 'remove that shyness' through a forum like this?

Thank you.

What experiences did u have at a tender age that you believe may be affecting you?

sholay2011: I am also like you Op (though I think say your own worse pass my own o ).

So, what is the purpose of the thread sir?

Is it for us to share experiences or 'remove that shyness' through a forum like this?

Thank you.

Let me say that maybe i want to hear opinion as to the bigger picture. Is asexuality also at play? You can also sense worry on your part and that of others no? Maybe im just scared...

andromida: What experiences did u have at a tender age that you believe may be affecting you?

Witnessing firsthand the evils and pains of relationships. Had a relationship with an older woman too..ended in pain for me.

mkmyers45: Witnessing firsthand the evils and pains of relationships. Had a relationship with an older woman too..ended in pain for me.

Ok so you are scared and protect yourself by avoiding commitment. Many people had a painful relationship one time or the other but got over it and got over themselves. It didn't happen to just you.I guess you'll find a way out of the hole eventually.

you're being overly cautious and this will hurt you in the long run. I was exactly like you too until i realized i wasnt helping myself... drop your guard, go with the flow and just have fun. The reason your relationships dont pan out is because YOU place that imaginary distance... not everyone wants to break down a self-inflicted barrier just to get to you.

I know a guy that had a relationship with his pillow. I don't know if he still does though, because we lost contact.

*takes a seat* let's see how this thread goes. I just might learn a thing or two.

Subscribed....

Foundation really matters what you're made of.. A Maryland kid can't act like that of Ajegunle and can't be as bold.. You have force yourself out of that she'll before you lose so many things bigger than you think.(I'm sure you must have lost so man.e.gGF.) cos you're shy.. Naija no give space for Boy+(positive) to act as Girls–(negative).. Wish you the best.

Sometimes I pray for Nairaland front page. Other times I just tell Lucifer to do whatever he pleases with it.

kcuf commitment and relationships

Nothing sucks as much as people who can't commit but want all the goodies that come with comittment.
Time passes away before you just because you are trying not to get hurt.
One day,you are just going to end up sad,lonely and miserable having lost potential future partners to your mindlessness.

Committment is hardly a problem with girls anyways.Its more of a guy problem.

Am good with relationship but my only problem is the daily calls i cant keep up with that and sometimes my girl normally complains. Dont know if it is normal or is it just me

guessing I really should be leading the pack here..

story of my life.

i call when i have something to say.

it's not a 'dating' thing.

it's not premeditated, and

it's not selective.

Each time I try being committed, I check my wallet and I change my mind...There is no point bringing close to your nostrils what you don't intend to eat.

There is no such thing as a commitment-shy, unromantic and emotionally unavailable person. You are simply misunderstood because you just do not conform with what some people have come to accept as "norm".

I do not see this as a problem. For I cannot give what I do not have... you are you; and you can only "tweak" yourself a little bit to get accepted but ultimately your true self shines through.

How I get by? I let you know straight-up the kind of baggages I bear; if you can deal with it, fine! If you can't, there is no use trying!

Oh, one last thing... you have to grow very thick skin!

vizboy: Am good with relationship but my only problem is the daily calls i cant keep up with that and sometimes my girl normally complains. Dont know if it is normal or is it just me

Are u complaining abt d call card or what,cuz as for me n my gurl we call almost 24hours a day (note:distance relationship)but she do all d calling n I aint complain or she either

mkmyers45: Hey there, This a thread for people who consider themselves as commitment shy [like myself] to talk out thier heart albiet anonymously. Anyway, Mine can be quite bad o...I have even been described as 'Emotionally Unavailable'. I try hard to grasp the magnitude and responsibilities associated with relationship. I have long term friends of both sexes sha. How does one make him/herself available emotionally? I try to be a romantic, a good guy and all. I suck at keeping up the call/text every minute thingy. Recently, its gotten so bad that a girl told me that i need to see a doctor as she can't figure out what is always on my mind and making me distance. Could be it because of my experiences at a tender age? I have to admit that sometimes im very worried where this may leave me in future...

Hi OP,

Nothing is wrong with. Kindly read 'Emotional Intelligence' by Daniel Goleman or 'Why you act the way you do' by Tim Lahaye. It will tell you about our mental and emotional states.

You can then start learning about the kind of person you are.

Lol. We have this in common. I don't think I can commit myself to any lady, I'm not just cut out for the whole lovey-dovey thing. I've had many dreams about my future but I've never been married in any, and trust me I'm straighter than most straight guys.

The Writer: Sometimes I pray for Nairaland front page. Other times I just tell Lucifer to do whatever he pleases with it.

lol

Lol. We have this in common. I don't think I can commit myself to any lady, I'm not just cut out for the whole lovey-dovey thing. I've had many dreams about my future but I've never been married in any, and trust me I'm straighter than most straight guys.

Well firstly thanks for letting us all know just how NOT GAY you are..... but I'm guessing you and OP simply haven't found a girl you liked enough or perhaps there's something stopping you from trying to get to know a girl you find attractive. Like the fear of being hurt.

wow,thought it was only me.

Cine:

Well firstly thanks for letting us all know just how NOT GAY you are..... but I'm guessing you and OP simply haven't found a girl you liked enough or perhaps there's something stopping you from trying to get to know a girl you find attractive. Like the fear of being hurt.

Trust me I've met some girls whom I had a great deal of admiration for, in some cases they felt the same way about me but love? Committment? I don't know man...

1st

I like this thread just keep the light burning. At least we can learn a few things from here.

same wiv me... God help us all!

I appreciate this thread,,I kinda fall into this category ..after being hurt inthe first relationship I backed out completely,trying to be too careful I guess,,seems like all guys re deceits nd want only one tingy!!! I guess I'm coming out of it all gradually after I realized,,,I GOT NOREAL FRIENDS...decent guys re welcome!!!!one L♥√ع

I have decided 2 see a pastor as a girl recently told me dat God made a mistake by making me handsome