My lovely sister,

I am happy to hear from you that you read the letter I sent to Henry on manners and etiquette with keen interest. I didn't know he would be generous enough to share with you some of his secrets. That says much about his maturity and concern for your growth and welfare.

In your letter to me, you requested me to advice you on how to carry yourself properly on a date. I am even happier to hear from you that this shall be your first date. Like everything else, there is always one first time. Thank God you have to gain these basic manners before your first date. They would help you guard your actions.

Dearest sister, you know I have always reluctantly approved of dating. But I am not so naïve not to realize that though dating is a new vocabulary in our culture it is making serious waves today. However, this is not enough reason for you to propagate the parrot cry “If you cannot beat them, join them”. Rather, be a beacon of light for your contemporaries.

Nevertheless, just as I once told you, dating has some positive impact. It helps a young adult to develop psychologically. After a date, one has not only made a friend but has learned a little more about how the opposite sex feels, thinks and responds. One also learns something about oneself such as how one feels, acts and thinks around the opposite sex. Thus, I shall not pretend not to understand the need for you to relate with your opposite sex. What I demand from you is maturity and discipline. Hence, if you must go on a date, do not for any reason accept to date the opposite sex at his personal residence or hotel rooms. Many who made such mistakes had more stories to tell than they imagined. In the same vein, avoid any form of concealed meeting with the opposite sex. It always leads to disastrous effect that may include elopement, abortion, unwanted pregnancy, and so on. Therefore, plan every date with mum.
More significantly, be reminded that the beautiful ones are not yet born. Hence, do not knock at every door seeking someone to love you. When the time is ripe, love will find you. Do not also blind your future with these few people you encounter now. Experience with many opposite sex would help you make a happy choice. Take it cool, is the language!

My dear sister, know that what a young man wants is a girl with charming personality spiced with good manners lived out in appropriate dressing and perfect grooming. To make a road into the hearts of young men and win their respect, always appear in your naturalness while you radiate decency, glamour, neatness and attractiveness. This is why I pity young ladies who in the name of fashion and the desire to win the opposite sex appear awkward in their dressing.

Dearest sister, just as I condemn dating at personal residence and hotel rooms; avoid petting on your dates. Always bear in mind that the opposite attracts. That is why you must maintain a reasonable boundary and distance from your opposite sex and pull away as much as possible but not making yourself a stranger. As you have a nice time with him, maintain high sense of decency and never let your passion out of control. It usually begins with holding hands, subsequently kissing, caressing until a new story is developed. Therefore, if you reject the hand, you would not fall a prey to kissing and the concomitant evil of caressing that would eventually open a new window to other debasing possibilities.

If you wish to develop an attractive personality in such a meeting, be yourself and not pretend to be someone you are not. More rewardingly, be a good conversationist by developing the art of listening while you avoid conversation killers including bragging, gossip, arguing, monopolizing the speech and interrupting. Most importantly, do not smoke nor drink. Such action belittles a young girl before the opposite sex that is reasonable.

Please, do not fall among those who see a date as an opportunity to lay bare their bundles of trouble. The young man has brought you out to have a nice time with you. For this single reason, be generous enough to allow him relax and enjoy that moment. While on such a date, be also very careful to observe your table manners. It is another area many young adults commit a lot of blunders. Know that in an outing, you are in display and any form of misdemeanor calls to mind many questions about how your family looks like.
In a cafeteria, remember that umbrella, packages and bags are never permissible at tables. If there are no special racks made for such, you can place them on your lap, an empty chair or the ground. The napkin is also placed on the lap. You have to wipe your mouth with the napkin, by lifting only a corner to your mouth before drinking from your cup or glass to avoid leaving some marks at the rim. If you must leave the table before the end of the meal, drop the napkin at your chair...

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