Well, I could tell you to just move on and stop thinking about him, but everybody knows that it's easier said than done.

u r desperate and he feels it, so he is taking his time. more over u already had sex with him doesnt have to commit to u. thats what happens when u use sex as a leverage for ur relationship. u got more cries ahead of u sweet heart

@ poster

Just let the guy be;as others have said, marriage is the last thing on his mind now. Let him settle down & stand on his feet. Also, u think of improving urself as well, so that if he still decides on u in future, he would know he's not marrying a liability.

I know someone who is in the same position, difference being they are graduates;but the guy has told his babe that he would love to marry her, but only when he's able to stand on his feet. And that if she feels she can't wait, she should move on with her life, that he would hold no grudge against her;afterall age is never on ladys' side.

SILLY GIRL. bothering the young man about marriage instead of you to go and live it up. enjoy the now , tomorrow will take care of itself. FYI, he probably really likes you, but you are just stressing him. That will only push him away.

Hey poster. Lack of interest is a sign of not wanting. If some one doesn't show interest in you, they just don't want you. Is just that simple.

dremoney:


ONIRANU ARA E!!!!! beta read your book

lol

I think the guy is not too down with u. U better shine ur eyes

@bymya

Women and men do have different hourglasses. Most women start thinking of marriage typically at 22-24. Most men do same at 28-32.

I suggest you look out for single working-class men, ready to settle down.

Your college hearthrob is exactly what he is, ur college hearthrob. When he graduates and gets a job, his choices and taste will change. The last thing on his mind now is marriage.

He may not really want to use and dump you. He just doesn't think beyond 'boyfriend and girlfriend' level. Remember that this is Naija. In western countries, a guy at 18 is almost independent, gainfully employed (even without a college degree). Here in Naija, most guys at 30 are still grappling, trying to make ends meet, probably still living with their parents. No thanks to baaaaad condition. Marriage for most guys happens only after attaining some level of financial independence.

So, cheer up and shine your eye for that mature guy also looking for you out there. Your boyfriend's wife is probably still in JS3, if you ask me.

Seriously!

Do not take the relationship as a do or die affair. Leave your life to the fullest and let whatever happens happen. Carry yourself well, hold your head high, do not take the relationship so seriously because if a guy really wants to be with you, he will do all he can to be with you.

When i was in school, i never thought of marriage maybe because i was quite young and marriage seemed so far to me.

I wouldnt condemn you for asking, it depends on your age and your own mentality, you want to settle soon. You are not wrong for asking. It iis mandatory for one to define any relationship one is in especially your type that has gone on for years.

Sweetheart, if he is not ready, you have to move on before it becomes late and you cry "Had i Known"?

my advise for you is that you have to focus on your life especially your study cos seem the guy is not seriou with the relationship
girl friend life need people with frank mind you just ve to know what u want from him and if things are not workinng out well, i means messing you up,pls let him go.

It's all good to talk about future and all that ! but the guy don't want to hear that because he has notting to offer right now,  he thinks you to forward to the future thing. in nutshell u need lear from other peeps experience.

smartsoft:

It's all good to talk about future and all that ! but the guy don't want to hear that because he has notting to offer right now, he thinks you to forward to the future thing. in nutshell u need lear from other peeps experience.

in other words, take a chill pill

Well said people! but lady poster aren't you rather too desperate,or are u afraid if u dont hook dis bobo u may neva find any other?Abeg dont choke d guy jo!he probably is thinkin of how to make cool cash afta grad,go 4 his masters and all.Atleast u havent told us if he is a rich man's child or a politician's child dat can get any position without even goin to schl. And by d way,not all girlfriends make Good wives,might be u arent Good enuf a wife 4 him.Abi, fellas wetin una think?

The mistake most of us make is once a guy asks us out and we agree we believe it will automatically lead to marriage, its so irritating esp with some of us yorubas, the next thing you hear is the girl refering to the guy as 'oko mi' (my husband) this is a boyfriend o who has not even proposed marriage. Not all b/f g/f relationships lead to marriage my dear, take a look around and think of how many campus love end in marriage.
If you have inner eyes on graduation days you will see many love hung at the school gates, it ends there.

You are a lady you shouldnt be the one rubbing his face with marrage proposal it should be the other way round, sorry o i know he has been sleeping with you which is part of the reasons you are now crying, well next time make a boyfriend a boyfriend and when he graduates to a fiance make him one and if he graduates to husband call him that. Good luck.

that guy is to young to  give an answer to that question, may be two years after graduation , depending on how fast things move for him, he may be ready to give a meaningful answer. if you want to end up with your school boy friend, its a long wait, but if you believe in him and what you share, you could wait.

my wife was my university girlfriend we were together for 8years before we got married, and when we did she was  just below 30yrs old, but she tells me everyday that the wait was worth the while, and  for me, i cant be more grateful that she did. but i must be quick to warn that all the positives must be there before you decide to wait, the guy must be very smart, very hardworking and forward looking, he has to be a go getter who wont give excuses for not breaking even this is because to marry no be moi moi, he has to wither against a very rough economy where opportunities are scarce.

then very importantly too, he has to show through out the waiting period that he appreciates every second you wait, this appreciation must be actively gauged while the wait lasts. any i don't care attitude should put you on the alert. now don't get scared, my wife and i got it right, and i am sure you both can if you believe in it. but certainly, its not a talk for a roving campus guy, he has to leave school first, then you can tell

sabak:

that guy is to young to give an answer to that question, may be two years after graduation , depending on how fast things move for him, he may be ready to give a meaningful answer. if you want to end up with your school boy friend, its a long wait, but if you believe in him and what you share, you could wait.

my wife was my university girlfriend we were together for 8years before we got married, and when we did she was just below 30yrs old, but she tells me everyday that the wait was worth the while, and for me, i can't be more grateful that she did. but i must be quick to warn that all the positives must be there before you decide to wait, the guy must be very smart, very hardworking and forward looking, he has to be a go getter who wont give excuses for not breaking even this is because to marry no be moi moi, he has to wither against a very rough economy where opportunities are scarce.

then very importantly too, he has to show through out the waiting period that he appreciates every second you wait, this appreciation must be actively gauged while the wait lasts. any i don't care attitude should put you on the alert. now don't get scared, my wife and i got it right, and i am sure you both can if you believe in it. but certainly, its not a talk for a roving campus guy, he has to leave school first, then you can tell

wonderful advice guy very wonderful indeed, noted and i think i would hold on to it s well cos am in one that started from uni and now prayerfully looking towards marriage by God's grace. very brilliant contribution. na this kind pple we need ooo

sweetheart, i'm a lady but if i were in his shoes, i would run for the hills. Try and put yourself in his shoes, he's still in school and i bet u, marriage is nowhere near his mind. I understand that u want to know where the relationship is going, but my advice to u is to drop the marriage issue and just keep being the person that he fell in love with in the first place, and do the rest on your knees, in prayer to the Almighty who makes everything beautiful in His time.
I tell u, when u do this, u'll realise that you will be content in your heart because you know that God is taking care of things. So honey, dry your eyes and attack your books and concentrate on finishing WELL from school. God bless.

In my own observation about men, they are not ready to get married, and when u are dating a guy, free him, let him explore, because if you don’t , it will look as if you are choking him, and I wont advice you to date for that long again , a relationship that is more than a year, and you didn’t see any sign of commitment , what are u doing there ? i happen to be a victim and mine is more than yours, just don’t want to go into details , let me advice you, you will meet another person that will appreciate you, your ending a 4 years relationship is not the end of the world, even if he doesn’t want you, you don’t have to cry or allow anyone to make you sad okay, if the relationship is not working out, please end it! You don’t have to wait till another 2years for him to now kick you out of his life.

Takia dear and stop worrying yourself, there are several guys out there that knows your worth,

cheers

i quite agree wt uchena, u see most relationship on campus don't always end up @ the altar especially those of you guys living couples life on campus,

my advice to you is to decide what to choose from between a broken heart with a good grade after school AND a broken heart with a bad grade, because this guy is definitely leaving there's no two way about it,

My dear poster,

No person can make you or give joy, be happy with yourself first and dont tie your future to a guy who is not on the same page with you, you dont need anybody on the forum too advice on what to do with your relationship you are the one in the relatioship, if its not paying you move, am sure there is someone out there, who will love for who you are.

All this campus love affair ,uh! i fear o, please my friend better purt your trust in God ,because you can't predict school boy.He can change and letg you down,only God is unchangeable changer.

girl wake up and dust d wool 4m ur eyes and face d truth. its so obvious he doesnt want to marry you. d earlier d better thou it wld hurt.

@Poster
Guys don't like it when women try to talk them into making a HASTY decision about marriage
It does seem your boyfriend doesnt want to settle down just yet so if u want to marry, you have to make a decision truly!

i l advice you just forget about settling down with the guy and just enjoy the relationship while it last.
Dont try to talk him into making marriage commitment with you cos if you continue to do this you will get more hurt.
Take charge of yourlife and give others chance just incase he decides to quit

9 out of 10 times, this kind of relationship never ends up in marriage except the guy gets a job immediately after school and the girls parents are very understanding
Just enjoy the moment while it last. Commitment is the last thing on his mind right now

bymya we are sisters in this issue but mine is getting it hot now cos i ignore him big time.u dont value wat u have till you loose it

@ poster
Guys actually like autonomy and we like to feel like we're doing things of our own free will.
He 'may' actually want a future with you but doesn't want to appear to be a yes-man.
Lay off a bit on the pressure and you'll see how it shapes out.You know him better than anyone on this forum.
As for showing him the door immediatement,I think that's a very hasty one.
Hope it works out sha.

please let us be pratical and very realistic when we give people advice on here,there is nothiing wrong with the guy,see my dear, relationship is about giving and taken,ask yourself what have i really given into this relationship? Most girls think they give more in a relationship just cause they sleeping with you but to me one of the biggest problem with our women is financial weakness,always wanting to relax and allow the bobo do the killings and feeding, come on, this 20 08.i will be turned off by a girl who talk to me abt marriage when there are a lot of $$$ to share and make together,believe me strengthen your relationship and inspire him and marriage will come freely.my own 50 cent!!!

please let us be  pratical and very realistic when we give people advice on here,there is nothiing wrong with the guy,see my dear, relationship is about giving and taken,ask yourself what have i really given into this relationship? Most girls think they give more in a relationship just cause they sleeping with you   but to me  one of the biggest problem with our women is financial weakness,always wanting to relax and allow the bobo do the killings and feeding, come on, this 20 08.i will be turned off by a girl who talk to me abt marriage when there are a lot of $$$ to share and make together,believe me strengthen your relationship and inspire him and marriage will come freely.my own 50 cent!!!

Please break up with him before it is too late.

Break up with him for you to be in a good position for better things to come your way.Better things include getting to meet someone else that will reciprocate your love.