Just imagine Benz 190 and Its Model La (real names not used) fall in love with each other on NL. what letters will you be expecting from them to each other?

Benz 190's Letter to Its Mode La
Hi Love,
Its just a month since we met,So
far,we have had great fun...You'v been
great,fun,interesting ,loving,lovely
and lovable ...And Hey,am stil in LOVE
with You...
BUT :
You gotta accept afew FACTS and
WATCH
a few habits....
BEFORE You came into My life,I was
a soccer fan,I used to go watch a
game EVERY WEEKEND with my boys...in the pub,cheering and celebrating my
team.,AND You have to accept THAT
FACT! You have NO right whatsoever to
start pulling Me away frm football ! The
FACT that I Love You doesnt mean I have startd HATING my team! Am stil the same boy,same soccer lover AND
ANYTIME there
is a match ,I EXPECT that you wil
behave yourself AND LET ME BE ME!
Afterall,I will ONLY watch a match for 90 minutes AND spend the rest seconds,minutes,hours,days,months and years with You! Be Fair !
I love my bottle.....I am NOT a
drunkard ,not an alcoholic but I
love my occasional cold beer....DONT try changing
Me,DONT try turning me into some
Arch-Bishop... Its my beer,You met me
with it...If. You want to enjoy ths
relationshp,BETTER
let me enjoy my beer....After all,You
told Me You Love Me,You didnt say You
Love the SOBER Me!
I have Ex-girlfriends! THATS A FACT!
Better live with it darling! Quit asking how many they are because,truth is,I WILL
LIE. Yes,av
had a couple bitches here n there,
I've
banged a couple pussies here and
there
BUT atleast I stil have my heart!
And my D!
So,STOP bothering me with the "Ex"
questions,YES,I had them,I did
them,I ban§ged them,I loved some of them
BUT its over NOW! They are in my PAST, So STOP bringing them Up!
Hey,I am NOT Father Teresa!
I have boyfriends!
Crazy,weird,noisy,mouthy and
sometimes annoying Boyfriends! YOU BETTER ACCEPT
THEM! I met them before You,I've
been through shit with them,thru hell
with them!
They are an extension of Me! I hang
out with them,laugh with them,joke
with them n share with them! Hating them
WONT make Me Love You more! Accept my
boyfriends AND be friends with
them coz,whether You like it or not,those Motherfu/c/kers are here to stay!!!
I DONT have to remember
Everythng! I am
NOT a teleprompter! I am human. I
can forget dates...Birthday
dates,Anniversary or
any stupid date,Its called being a
Man.
So,stop acting up everytime I forget
a date,You should thank God I havent
forgotten You!
Its Your job to be neat always. NOT
MINE.
Finding dirty socks on my gas
cooker is as normal as Arsenal FC losing a match!
Live with It.
I LOVE SE/X. Thats Me. A Man.
So,STOP pretending that you are surprised
that am always horn/y for You...its
normal.Given a
chance,I would do it
anytime,anywhere...so,better STOP
denying me that cookie! DONT
blame Me,trace it back to the biblical King Solomon.
My D is my D! The size is my size!
You either appreciate it or LEAVE me! I
wont sit
here n watch You complaining abt
my D!
Its NOT about how DEEP I can go in
You,its about how DEEP my love 4u Is.
Sometimes I cum fast,sometimes I
stay longer! Its being a MAN! So,stop
whining and acting up everytime I cum too quick!
You should thank God I came! That
means You are too awesome to delay !
After all,Its NOT about how long I can last in bed,its
about how LONG ths rlshp will last!!!
But Hey,DONT BE FOOLED! Sometimes I can last longer than the Al Mustapha murder case! Try Me!
DONT EVER compare Me with Your
Ex. If he was sooo good,what THE FU/CK are You doing with Me
If am good in bed,SPREAD the word
to Your girlfriends...and sisters....and
female cousins.....If am poor,SPREAD the word to Me....I'll do somethng about it...
Never attack me verbally in public!
Never
Ever! Its a crime! We are
Lovers,NOT
Politicians.
My phone IS my phone. The stuff
that goes
on there is crazier than a ACN rally! Leave it alone! Oh,and NEVER
answer
my calls! Ever! If they wanted to
talk to
You,they would have called You
instead!
If I have the money,we'll spend it.
If am
broke...Sit down and pray 4 Me.
Dont start
Acting Up because my wallet is
empty!
Hey,I came into Your life to LOVE
YOU, Not
to bail you out!
ALWAYS REMEMBER, I came to
attend to
Your heart affairs,NOT FINANCIAL
AFFAIRS!
I am Your Boyfriend! Not Bill
Gates!!!
Love,

Its Model La Reply

Hi Boy,
I am glad Ur ma boy...U'v brought
sunshine in ma lyf,happiness,joy and
comfort...I am sooo thankful I found
You!
However,there are a couple thngs I
want to say here:
.I have a reason AS TO WHY I am
asking you for full details about Your
Ex-galfriends and past relationshps. I
dont care how many bitc\hes you'v
banged before,I DONT even care
whether the number is higher than
Pat Utomi's certificates. I just want
to know them ALL so that I can add
them ALL to my "TO KILL LIST". I want
to know them ALL so that I can know
what kind of shit to expect and from
Who. It doesnt matter how MANY they
are. I am cool with that. I mean,I DONT
have a problem with You. I have a
problem with THEM!
.I am a woman. Having a temper is as
normal as your pre-mature
ejaculations... Thats Me,A WOMAN. I
can have over 62 tempers per minute.
Deal with It.
.I appreciate a phone call.Every now
and then! Quit texting me like the
MTN! If I can remember right,the last
time You called Me,Mohd Uwais was
still the Chief Justice! Hey,BE A
MAN! Grab that phone and CALL ME! I
am your girlfriend,NOT YOUR Aunt!
.YOU SHOULD NEVER BE FRIENDS with
ANY of your Ex-girlfriends! I should
NEVER catch you helping her buy
underwears in Balogun market! Have You ever
seen Atiku in a GEJ rally? A BREAK-
UP is a BREAK-UP ,END OF STORY!
.I LOVE COMPLIMENTS! When I buy a
new dress,YOU SHOULD NOTICE! Its
clearly written in the Female
Constitution. And NOT just
noticing,YOU should exclaim and tell
me I look amazing! It doesnt matter
whether I actually look like a robbery-
with-violence survivor! According to
You,I SHOULD LOOK AWESOME!
.You should REMIND me am beautiful
every DAY! Thats Not a request. Its
Your Duty!!!
.Kiss Me like a Queen! Stop kissing Me
like you are administering First Aid to
Me! Relax! Breath In,Breathe Out. Then
gently,tilt tha head,get closer then kiss
me like a Princess! You are DEALING
with lips here,Not pizza!
.Before you have me,Before You can
do it to Me,Before we can have sex, I
expect a thorough,arousing pre-intimacy!
You dont just jump on me and start
humping me like a Rhino! You are
dealing with a woman here,Not a
crime suspect! Take Your time,hold
me,touch me,tease Me,caress
me...squeeze me...I have to get myself
ready for action,SO STOP jumping into
Me like a suicide bomber!
.If You insist on working on my
beautiful boobs,then do it like a pro!
Not eating them up like Pokot hunger
victims! Hey,RELAX! You are dealing
with boobs here,Not a wedding buffet!
.NO BIT\CH should text You past 10pm !
What does she want? Air ??
.I wont worry about the size f ua D !
BUT YOU better know what to do with
that D! Am supposed to enjoy EVERY
minute of the action! Be innovative,Be
creative! Bang Me like a po\rnstar! Am
supposed to be sweating and
screaming and shaking! If am NOT
doing that,GO HOME and watch Music
High school!
.I MUST NOT Orgasm. BUT I wil
appreciate IF I DO! Also,Its a crime to
cum soooo fast! Nigga please,TAKE
YOUR TIME! Not unless you are
handling stolen property!
.I will put up with Your 'Boys'. Am
ready to be friends with them too. BUT
if they start behaving like
assholes,THINGS WILL CHANGE! They
are supposed to be human beings,so
they should ACT like human beings!
This is NOT Afi mountain sanctuary!
Tell Your Boys to behave!!!!
.I know You love sex but AM SORRY,If
AM NOT WILLING. AM NOT WILLING! I
shouldnt just sit there and part my legs
for you anytime,anywhere! Who are
You?? A tampon Relax Nigga! Pussy
aint going nowhere!
.I love laughing . So,I'd appreciate
funny stories and jokes frm You every
now and then! Being boring is a
CRIME! Hey,You are My Boyfriend,Not
Jim Hike!
.About Finances,I am Ok with you
when You have ca$h and when you
may NOT have. However,YOU DONT
HAVE to be broke,Everyday,Every
month,All Year! Otherwise,You might
as well sell your wallet and buy a
notebook~~~to be writting down Your
problems!
.I AM ALWAYS RIGHT. Thats Me,A
WOMAN! I should start AND END every
argument. And You are NOT supposed
to TALK during the argument,You are
supposed to SIT there,ADMIT your
mistakes,AGREE with Me,NOD your
head,FEEL sorry AND continue eating
your cabbages!
I call the shots here!
I am a WOMAN!
I have the PUSSY,So I make the Rules!
If You also want to MAKE rules,join the
Constitution Implementation
Commission.
Love,

my friend u just wrote trash....

galadima77: my friend u just wrote trash....

Could this be love?

galadima77: my friend u just wrote trash....

aw ... how harsh.
I don't think he did too badly though

galadima77: my friend u just wrote trash....

i see you are suffering from masochistic personality disorder. pls look that up in the dictionary. dnt kno what it means but it well suit you.

kekilika:

i see you are suffering from masochistic personality disorder. pls look that up in the dictionary. dnt kno what it means but it well suit you.

you definitely know what that means...its what u see in ur mirror