SpicyMimi: Hubby borrowed him nd hubby says 'let it go' just obey him as that is d most important thing here. I wonder why u r asking 4 our opinions in d first place, na we marry u? So u'd rather prefer to obey us nd disobey U̶̲̥̅̊я hubby Please learn not to bring up family issues here, pple here are humans like u nd most will never bring their problems here bt very good at fueling other pple's problems!
Listen to U̶̲̥̅̊я hubby nd dats final.

ayobase:

It strained your relationship of course, and you prefer it that way.....yoruba proverb I always try to eschew "Owo lo n ba oju ore je"

I have taken it upon myself to making sure I avoid FINANCIAL crisis with family and friend....I rather let it go......IT GIVES ONE RESPECT!

Doing and achieving this, I don't give out money I can't forget about.....and you should know that there are some people you shouldn't even lend money, rather give them to avoid clash!

E kuke better make u say u no get than later being at loggerheads!

StateOfMind:

So why are you here to air your opinion if you did not marry her? Can't you see you lack common sense?

waleadex: It's not good if you confront him because your hubby already told you not to and the man didn't borrow from you but from hubby.

yellowpawpaw: I don't know whether u guys read what d poster said.she contributed!
I no dey vex but I'm very realistic.hubby must be willing to part with some doe or I will get it and when I do,will not give him his own back.if I don't know what to do with it,I can give it out,at least I will hv my blessin

Idowuogbo:
Ha!! SOM!!! Dats harsh na

greatgod2012: I think this man is taking us as fools, and im getting furious towards the man.
Last year April, one of our neighbours came to hubby for financial assistance, he said, he went to the bank to withdraw some amount at the bank with his ATM card, and he claimed that the machine swallowed his card, it was on a Friday, and he came to hubby and asked hubby to borrow him the cash till Monday, when he would have sorted out his ATMcard issue with the bank. Hubby gave him the money,(with my knowledge, of course) and since then, the man has refused to pay the money back. Now, what is making me furious is that, the man never talked about the money, he has been relating with us as if nothing is between us, he has never talked about the money, not to talk of how he is going to pay the money. I asked hubby to ask him the money, hubby said, there is no need, all he know is that, the man can never come to us for financial assistance again. We reported him to his wife, his wife said a lot of bad things about him, how she has been managing/coping with his uncomely attitude. The wife even promised to pay the money back, but hubby asked her not to worry, because, the woman do not have much with her(shes a private school teacher). Now, im feeling like confroting him, not in order to collect the money, but to just let him know that we aint fools, and to also let him know that its not good to behave like that, to let him know that he isnt smarter than us, but hubby wont allow me.
Now, please, advise me, should i confront him or i should just leave him alone. Each time i see him, i feel like hes just taking us as fools, what do i do?
Thanks.

Vikin:

Pot calling kettle black

Idowu telling someone his/her comment harsh!

I laugh in Chinese

yellowpawpaw: I don't know whether u guys read what d poster said.she contributed!
I no dey vex but I'm very realistic[b].hubby must be willing to part with some doe or I will get it and when I do,will not give him his own back.if I don't know what to do with it,I can give it out,at least I will hv my blessin[/b]

ayobase:
@slimyem: u are just being a woman....and its normal!

slimyem: Its stupid to wind this around gender. My gender has nothing to do with how I handle unrepentant and inconsiderate debtors.
Please skip!

StateOfMind:

So why are you here to air your opinion if you did not marry her? Can't you see you lack common sense?

greatgod2012: I think this man is taking us as fools, and im getting furious towards the man.
Last year April, one of our neighbours came to hubby for financial assistance, he said, he went to the bank to withdraw some amount at the bank with his ATM card, and he claimed that the machine swallowed his card, it was on a Friday, and he came to hubby and asked hubby to borrow him the cash till Monday, when he would have sorted out his ATMcard issue with the bank. Hubby gave him the money,(with my knowledge, of course) and since then, the man has refused to pay the money back. Now, what is making me furious is that, the man never talked about the money, he has been relating with us as if nothing is between us, he has never talked about the money, not to talk of how he is going to pay the money. I asked hubby to ask him the money, hubby said, there is no need, all he know is that, the man can never come to us for financial assistance again. We reported him to his wife, his wife said a lot of bad things about him, how she has been managing/coping with his uncomely attitude. The wife even promised to pay the money back, but hubby asked her not to worry, because, the woman do not have much with her(shes a private school teacher). Now, im feeling like confroting him, not in order to collect the money, but to just let him know that we aint fools, and to also let him know that its not good to behave like that, to let him know that he isnt smarter than us, but hubby wont allow me.
Now, please, advise me, should i confront him or i should just leave him alone. Each time i see him, i feel like hes just taking us as fools, what do i do?
Thanks.

coogar:

simplest decision ever - let it go!

hubby already told you to forget about it, wife has told you the man isn't responsible. he's ruined his chances of ever getting help from you guys. move on, abeg!

CrazyMan:
@bolded part
There's no need to confront him...Do what your hubby advised and let him be...in that way you can be sure that you've gotten rid of him repeating such attitude in future (asking you for money)...truth is shame and guilty conscience wouldn't make him ask you for financial assistance anymore regardless of how urgent his needs are.

So please avoid confronting him.

ayobase:

You simply had no idea of what I was talking about!

And besides, who sabi sin eyan lowo?....man or woman?....women are characterised by some certain traits....even gossip, but that doesn't mean that some men don't share!
This aint about gender 'anything' pls!

I can now skip!

ileobatojo: Nigerians are quite a funny bunch of people sha. No interest in holding anyone accountable for their actions whatsoever!! Well, as we make our beds.....


@ , I wouldn't say my first option would be to confront the guy; if I were in your position, it's my hubby that I would seriously take to task since he is the one that the guy asked and the one who gave the money to him. Work on your hubby and make him ask the guy for your money.

However, if you did ask the guy yourself, I would not be too mad at you.

By the way, the time and energy spent reporting him to his wife could have been spent asking him for your money.

coogar:

ileoba, you mean you would wake your husband in the middle of the night to discuss when he's going to collect the money he's already told you to forget about? this is an open n shut case - the hubby has moved on, you should move on too. if my wife persists in making trouble, i would lie i have been paid......

SpicyMimi: Mistakes we ladies make is trying to get stuppid opinions frm 3rd parties! Like wth? Why should u include strangers into your personal affair? Its crazy mehn! If u r lookn fOr an xcuse to disobey Ur hubby, do it on your own will nd stp lookn fOr pple to encourage u on that.
I dnt just get why you are so bothered about this? Fine he refused nd never cared to pay, let it go...its best cause he won't dare to ask fOr another next time nd if he does, that's when u gonna react. Men Love and adore peaceful wives, don't be a trouble maker nd don't stir up any fuss between the man nd Ur hubby! Its a man to man issue, so just let it go! Biko! Stop listening to those pple askn u to confront nd do wt ever, if anythn happens today, these same pple will judge u nd thrw stones at you, so just obey U̅r hubby nd let peace reign for good.

coogar:

ileoba, you mean you would wake your husband in the middle of the night to discuss when he's going to collect the money he's already told you to forget about? this is an open n shut case - the hubby has moved on, you should move on too. if my wife persists in making trouble, i would lie i have been paid......

ileobatojo:
My sleep is too precious to me to be waking anybody up in the middle of the night.

As far as I'm concerned, if I felt as frustrated as is, then it is my hubby that will bear the brunt because he is at the center of it, walahi! If he lies convincingly that he has been paid, then no problem. As long as the lie is followed by him returning my own share of the money to my pocket. E don finish!

ifyalways: I didn't read yhe whole thread hence I'm commenting based on OP's opening post.

1) Why did u guys go to the wife? Why inform the wife when you've not yet confronted/reminded the man?
2) You and ur hubby decided to forfeit the loan so why the noise? Why raise a storm first?

Long story short : This is not worth the noise, anger. There is no lesson to teach anyone here. Women should learn to know when to jump into "men affair", you never might just know what other non-financial favor that man might be extending to ur husband.