BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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Why Lalasticlala Don't Joke With Snake Trend (revealed) / The Travails Of Seun And Mukina (A Short Story With Nairaland Characters) / Barter Trade ( Joke With Nairaland Characters) (2) (3) (4)
| BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 8:29pm On May 25, 2013 |
[b]CHAPTER ONE KetewPomponi was a little farming village that shared borders with Kankamuum in the north, Atwaa in the south, Bintu in the east and Osobrokyie in the West. KetewPomponi was famous for its excellence in agriculture as all neighbouring villages and beyond depended on them for maize and yams. The chief of KetewPomponi, CFCfan was a benevolent wealthy man who was married to Hollandis.They had been married for six years without an issue, and CFCfan's mother, Idowuogbo always quarreled with Hollandis to give her a grandchild or else she would bring a second wife. This caused lots of distress for Hollandis as she didnt like the idea of a second wife. Meanwhile, if there was one family in KetewPomponi that was always in the news, then it was Bunmioguns and his family.Bunmioguns had three wives and six children.Pretiebony the first wife, booqee the second wife and freecocoa the third. In all, Bunmioguns was blessed with seven children, namely Lagusta, Born2fuck, Bushy-anus, Bigvajina, dabrake,Ajibel and 190.What made this family an interesting one was the fact that, though they were very successful in maize farming, the father Bunmioguns was a very lazy, promiscuous and drunk man. The three wives had their own periodic quarrels and the children were very recalcitrant. One sunny afternoon, Bunmioguns was sitting in his chair under a tree in front of his house with his wives and children when 190, his last son came home with a goat around his neck. " 190, 190, where from this goat?" Pretiebony who was his mother asked looking worried. Bunmioguns who didnt like the question remarked angrily " lazy woman! see oo, instead of her grabbing the goat to prepare soup for the family, she is asking silly questions". Soon, fufu was ready and the soup was prepared with the goat 190 brought home. The family often sat round a big table and ate together from one big bowl." where is the goat's genitall?" Bunmioguns who loved that part with passion asked the women who prepared the meal, and there was silence round the table. " i ask again, where is the goat's kpekus?" Bunmioguns barked again angrier. It was then that Bushy-anus stammered " i-i-i-saw Bo-bo-bo-born2-fu-Bleep steal it from the pot in the kitchen, papa ". Born2fuck was noted from stealing meat from the pot and even sometimes went to neighbours' kitchen to steal meat. Bunmioguns gave his son Born2fuck a hot slap immediately, which caused Born2fuck throw out the meat he was eating. The evening's joy of eating goat soup was marred by the incident at the table and there was extreme silence and sadness in the house. Early next morning, the town-crier Lefulefu beat his gong-gong. The message was that, the village's fetish priest Okija juju was reporting of his missing goat, and that anyone that knows about the theft should go to his shrine immediately else disaster would visit them. Lefulefu added that, even those that tasted the soup of the said goat, including those that even smelt the aroma risked disastrous consequences if they didnt go to the shrine as early as possible to confess. Just sfter the town-crier left, 190 ran to his father, knelt before him and cried " papa, it's me, i stole the goat, it's me ". Bunmioguns out of shock had to use the toilet immediately. It was a village pit-latrine patronized by all the villagers. Since it was still early in the day, he carried his lamp. The moment he entered the toilet, he saw a snake so he took to his heels. He came back home, and left with 190 to Okija juju's shrine. There 190 confessed he came to steal the goat from the shrine the day before. Okija juju was angry.[/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 1:37pm On Jul 07, 2013 |
[b]After pleas and Pleas and pleas, Okija juju finally agreed to pardon the Bunmiogun family, only on one condition. " Please what is the condition, tell me i am ready for anything " Bunmioguns requested in tears. Okija finally sad he would only pardon the Bunmioguns family only after his second wife booqee had spent three nights with him, to appease the gods. It was a tough one, but Bunmioguns had no options, his hands were tied as he risked loosing his entire family since Okija juju was renowned in the village for killing people that offended him. One of such persons was studiocfr who was struck with madness last year after publicly insulting Okija juju. Upon agreeing to bring booqee to atone for the family's sins, Bunmioguns passed by chief CFCfan's yam farm to ease himself, as he wouldnt dare go back to the public toilet. After easing himself in the chief's farm, he headed straight to el guapo's house. El guapo was Bunmioguns best friend in KetewPomponi and was renowned for his drunkenness. El guapo always represented KetewPomponi in the annual inter-village drinking contest, and had won the title for nine consecutive years. He was however yet to marry though he was in his mid-forties. Right from guapo's house, the entered Onila's popular village bar " that boy called 190 took after his mother's father, a useless thief!" Bunmioguns who had at this point gulped down two calabashes of palmwine said slowly. " wetin he do?" Guapo asked " can you imagine, that this my son 190, had the guts to go and steal from the dreaded Okija shrine?" Bunmioguns replied " chinekeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!, that boy must be cursed. stealing from the great Okija shine?" Guapo added " I am finished. That boy has been spoilt by his mother, ebony, he doesnt heed to my advice at all" Bunmioguns said The two friends drank and conversed and drank and conversed till sunset when they left. Before Onila got to their table, they were already gone. " so these useless man have absconded today too without paying?" Onila barked to herself Soon, it was morning and Bunmioguns with his second wife Booqee were before the Okija shrine. He presented his wife booqee to Okija juju and left feeling very sad and bitter. Suddenly, he had a thought of committing suicide because of the misfortune that had befallen him. He was however thinking about the options involved in committing suicide. " knife?, gun?, rope? poison?.." he kept wondering. Then he resolved to die by hanging himself. He sent his son Lagusta to go and buy him a rope. Lagusta brought the rope and asked his father what he was using the rope for, " going to buy another goat, thief" bunmioguns replied angrily. He took the rope,a cutlass, a gourd of palmwine and headed for the farm[/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 1:37pm On Jul 07, 2013 |
[b]Soon, Bunmioguns got to his farm. He located a big tree o climbed it to tie the rope. After he tied the rope, he came down to take his last sip of palmwine. He climbed the tree again, stood on a branch and tied the rope round his neck. All that was left was to jump downwards. Just as he was about to do it, he spotted a very big injured grasscutter ran to hide in some weeds on his farm, apparently being pursued by hunters. When he realised this, he untied the rope from his neck and descended down, picked his cutlass and went to the grasscutter's hiding spot. Just as he was about to strike his cutlass, he saw four boys holding cutlasses and guns apparently were chasing the grasscutter. These boys were mynd44, enegod, Dani1luv and Jarus. " what do you want from my farm?" Bunmioguns questioned the mean looking boys, " we are looking for our grasscutter," they replied in one accord " your grasscutter? " bunmioguns quizzed further , " yes, we have chased it all the way from Bintu, have you seen it?" Mynd44 asked Bunmioguns. " me? grasscutter? never, i havent" bunmioguns replied. The four boys who had ran all the way from bintu after a grasscutter, walked away in disappointments. Bunmioguns struck dead the already weak grasscutter and left with it to guapo's house. He didnt like to take it home because his many many children and wives would eat some. In Guapo's house, they prepared the grasscuter, roasted it and with palmwine and Akpeteshie, they ate everything. Guapo then brought out his draught which they played till sunset when Bunmioguns went home. He got home very drunk and tired, so missed way and rather entered his daughter Bigvajina's room, thinking he was entering his wife freecocoa's room. That night, unknowingly to him, he made love to his daughter seven times before daybreak. When he realised at daybreak he had been making love to his own daughter, he felt very sad. " Big, what happened last night?" he asked his daughter " Papa, you came into my room and told me i am your wife" Bigvajina replied " and what happened", " Papa you asked me to open my legs for you, then i saw you moving to and fro on me " Bigvajina answered. Bunmioguns left his daughter's room looking very disappointed.[/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 1:38pm On Jul 07, 2013 |
Soon three days were over and booqee had been finally released by the Okija shrine. She was limping to the house with blood oozing pass her legs. The moment Bunmioguns saw her, he hugged her and asked " how many?", Booqee replied " fifty-five a day" still crying. Bunmioguns fainted immediately after hearing this.They poured several barrels of water on him until he regained his consciousness. Meanwhile, back in the chief's palace, tensions were so high as the chief's mother idowuogbo had brought a second wife to her son CFCfan. Ogugua was a beauty in her early twenties and immediately won CFC's heart. There were constant verbal quarrels between Hollandis the first wife and Ogugua who was always making insinuations at her senior in marriage. One time, Hollandis had prepared CFC's favourite meal when Ogugua secretly went to pour excess salt in the meal.After the chief ate the meal, he officially banned Hollandis from cooking in the palace again 1 Like |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 6:28pm On Jul 07, 2013 |
[b]Now tension in the chief's palace was at its climax when after a month, Ogugua the second wife had also not conceived.Idowuogbo, chief CFC's mother was wilder than ever. She stormed the palace once more with insults upon insults. She warned Ogugua to conceive the next day, else she was bringing a third wife. CFC particularly was not happy about this one as he truly loved Ogugua. In the night, CFC spent hours to console the ever sobbing Ogugua. Back in the other room was Hollandis, who ever since Ogugua entered the palace had never made love. She was lonely and Hot and wanted someone to make her happy. The only name that came to her mind was Pagan9ja, the head of security in the palace. She woke up, tiptoed to Pagan9ja's door and knocked silently. Pagan9ja opened the door and was shocked to see his mistress before him at that time. The moment the door opened, she entered , seduced pagan9ja who also did not spare her at all. Now back in Bunmioguns' house, booqee was pregnant, Bigvajina was also pregnant. What scared Bunmioguns was the facts that, she knew Booqee was carrying the child of the dreaded Okija juju, whereas Bigvajina was carrying his own child, which was a taboo on the land. He was confused. He called Bigvajina into his room, and suggested to him he goes to sleep with his friend Guapo, and make Guapo responsible for the pregnancy. Just as they were discussing the matter, Lefulefu the town-crier was heard. His message was simple, that the chief's mother is asking all young women who could get her son CFC a child to report to the palace the next morning. This brought Bunmioguns some relief as they found it as an opportunity to ship Bigvajina to the chief to avoid any embarrassment .[/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 6:30pm On Jul 07, 2013 |
[b][color=#990000][b]So early the next morning, Bunmioguns with his daughter Bigvajina and mother Freecocoa were in the chief's palace. When the got to the palace, they realised the competition was a keen one. Three other women were present, including Agybabe, Vivly and Efemenaxy. They had all heard about the announcement so were there to grab the opportunity. Idowuogbo had the sole right to pick the third wife for the chief. After series of exercises which included interviews, dance and music, the lot fell on Bigvajina.Bunmioguns was particularly excited not just because of the pride the went with haven the chief as your son-in-law, but also had escaped from the shame of being responsible to his own daughter's pregnancy. After taking the bride price, he made for his friend Guapo's house, then off to Onila's popular bar. Soon, Bunmioguns had finished spending Bigvajina's bride price since they were already owing. It was at the bar that, Bunmioguns was asking Guapo of when he would marry. " I have always told you i will marry after next month's drinking contest" Guapo replied in his usual drunk way. " so which woman in KetewPomponi have you targeted?" Bunmioguns asked again. After about five minutes of silence, Guapo replied with his left eye closed " Mukina " Bunmioguns was amazed since Mukina was an old widow with three children already. Her late husband, Homar fell from a palm tree two years ago and since then Mukina had been lonely, but Guapo insisted it was Mukina or else no marriage. [/b][/b][/color] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 6:31pm On Jul 07, 2013 |
[b]Soon a month was in, and it was time for the drinking contest. It was a competition to choose the best drunkard amongst the five villages that competed. Competing villages were KetewPomponi, Bintu, Atwaa, Kankamoum and totoigwe. This year's competition was hosted by KetewPomponi, and the exact venue was Onila's bar. It was sunrise and all the teams were set at Onila's place. The chieves of all the villages had graced the occasion and of course chief CFC was present with his new damsel Bigvajina right beside him, heavily policed by Pagan9ja. The cief of Bintu, Xynerise was there, as well as the chief Atwaa Boron10 was representing. Kankamoum's chief Goshen was there as well and the chief of totoigwe psky was also live. Each village presented their representative round the table. Representing the hosts was the nine-time champion el guapo, Bintu was represented by Olawalebabs, then sexkills represented Atwaa, petrodollar represented Kankamoum with seun representing totoigwe. Everything was set, and all the contestants were waiting for was the clap of chief CFCfan to commence hostilities. The place was packed with drums, music and dance.[/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by babadem2much(m): 11:44pm On Jul 07, 2013 |
bin, thought we bid u farewell b4? all dis your long sentence n story who read am all |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by Valiantvaliant(m): 12:05pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
*following* |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by Nobody: 5:54pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
This story 4 make sense if it was 4rm a sane writer |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by Preciousgirl(f): 6:04pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
please i need your help https://www.nairaland.com/1351708/please-defending-research-proposal-tommorrow#16692872 |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bunmioguns(m): 6:05pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
bin bro... merry xmas  |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bunmioguns(m): 6:08pm On Jul 08, 2013 |
PretiEbony: This story 4 make sense if it was 4rm a sane writer longest time. hope my baby is kicking wel in ur stomach |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by Nobody: 7:25pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
bunmioguns:which baby? Bt bin, u cn still continue d story |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 7:27pm On Jul 09, 2013 |
PretiEbony: which baby? ;Dhttp://www.nairaland.com/1352947/please-it-offence-drive-unclad#16709968
|
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by Ajibel(m): 5:23pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
Lmao. Somhau hilarious. I've missed humor for sometime nau |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by larride(m): 6:00pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
Oya bin, come continue this ya tori jare, I dey gbadun ham die. |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by Nobody: 6:15pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
larride: Oya bin, come continue this ya tori jare, I dey gbadun ham die.Hey boo!  Missed u so much  whr have u been?? |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by DONFAITH: 1:06pm On Jul 14, 2013 |
bin watin hapen na. Oya continue d tori OR... |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 8:51am On Jul 29, 2013 |
[b]The long awaited clap finally came from chief CFC, and the contest began.The contest which had been in existence for centuries was instituted by the five villages to foster unity amongst them. The format was simple. Each contestant would take a gourd-full of ogogoro. After that, contestants would then take two gourds-full each, Then three gourds-full each, any contestant that got drank along the line would raise up his hands and step out. So, the contest officially began. Guapo first took his gourd with ease, then Olawalebas did, then Sexkillz did, followed by Petrodollar, then seun who was making his seventh consecutive appearance in the drinking contest took his turn. After the first round, the contestants were applauded by their teaming supporters. Then it was round two, and as usual, Guapo gulped down his Ogogoro showing lots of experience and dexterity, and the other contestants followed suit. This year's contest was so keen as at round six, nobody had raised up his hand. During round seven however, Sexkills, a dreadlocked drunkard fainted, meaning he was out of the contest, left with four. It eventually got to round fifteen and it had been left with only two contestants, Guapo of KetewPomponi and Seun of totoigwe. It was a fierce battle, as Guapo was searching for his tenth title to woo Mukina, and seun was also after his first ever triumph as drunk champion. It finally got to round twenty-two, where it was apparent both contestants were very drunk and weak. Out of the blues, Guapo raised up his hand, which meant seun had won the competition . Onila's bar was thrown into cheers and fun by the totoigwe crowd.Seun was carried on the shoulders with drums and dance. Guapo at this juncture was on the ground vomiting . It was the first time in nine years he had lost a drinking contest, and was worried about loosing the cow prize for the year.He was also worried about loosing Mukina It was two days after Guapo's historic defeat, and he was alone in his house still pondering about the lost contest. " why?..me of all people,..Guapo the renowned drunkard?...nine-time champion?..the pride of KetewPomponi....how could i have lost at home?". Whilst he kept talking to himself, his friend Bunmioguns visited. Bunmioguns consoled his friend for a very long time. " you see, things like this do happen, just train hard and defeat that guy next year" Bunmioguns consoled. Back in the chief's palace, there was a high profile visitor. The chief CFCfan with his elders like Otumfuor, Bashydemy, T.Anonymous,Abu Mikey and the rest welcomed him, and asked him his mission.The chief's linguist, dabrake asked the guest his name and his mission. " well, thank you very much chief and his elders, well my name is Mr Cork, and i am in this village to open a school, to educate the villagers here" the guest spoke with a fake foreign accent. The news excited Chief CFcfan so much since there was no school in the village, and it would be the only in the five villages.Chief CFC gave Mr Cork a portion of land to build his house and the school. Later that day, something terrible happened in the palace. There was a quarrel between Hollandis, the chief's first wife and the troublesome Ogugua. Bigvajina the youngest wife had gone to separate them, but rather they both turned to her and gave her a beaten of her life, which caused her to miscarry her pregnancy. Had it not been Pagan9ja who entered the seen on time, they would have killed Vajina. [/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by larride(m): 4:14am On Jul 30, 2013 |
PretiEbony: I missed u also dear, I sent u mails n never got any reply from u. Its like u've forgotten me ni jare. I've been around though, just in ghost mode tinz. |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by Nobody: 8:02am On Jul 30, 2013 |
larride:Aww! Its bin lng checkd my mail How r u n y d ghost mode? |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by larride(m): 1:55am On Jul 31, 2013 |
PretiEbony: Aww! Its bin lng checkd my mail Okay, i thought as much. I just wanted to be in ghost mode ni jare. it allows me space to concentrate on more important things |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bunmioguns(m): 5:10am On Jul 31, 2013 |
larride: |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by EllyBrainyTM: 12:47pm On Jul 31, 2013 |
Ok this Story really Made Laugh like hahahahahahahaha, bin gbagbo Nice one, Meeeeen this story really made Me Laugh......Guy Cast Me in this Movie Jooor....hehehehehe Nice One,Once again |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by DONFAITH: 4:49pm On Aug 01, 2013 |
BIN what if I join d characters, watin go happen? |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by Nobody: 10:14pm On Aug 01, 2013 |
Bin gbagbo! You too mush! O ri e fo ka sibe! Ketewpomponi...lol! |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 10:27pm On Aug 01, 2013 |
[b]News of Bigvajina's micarriage reached Idowuogbo who stormed the palace early the next morning. He lined up Hollandis and Ogugua and gave them a hot verbal bashing. " fooolish women, you cant conceive, another woman conceive and you kill the baby, you witchards..." she barked. Meanwhile, the whole miscarriage thing was interesting to chief CFC as he knew he could not make a woman pregnant. The secret of the whole issue was that, when he was a young boy, he was seeing the daughter of Okija juju, Vicky. This infuriated Okija Juju who invoked the gods he served to afflict CFC with impotence. So since then, CFC could perform but could not make a woman pregnant. His mother Idowuogbo did not know about this secret and was the reason why she always pressurized the women. Idowuogbo was furious that morning, " if you cant bear my son a child, leave him for me, i will personally bear him a child, swine!" she barked repeatedly. CFC was still wondering how Bigvajina could have become pregnant for him.He was so suspicious. " Could she have been pregnant before she came here?..or Okija shrine has finally revoked the curse? or this Bigvajina is a witch?...oh gods of my land.." he thought Back in Totoigwe meanwhile, a thanksgiving ceremony was on-going for seun who defied all odds to defeat the renowned Guapo. Everybody was proud of seun. His prize, the cow was slaughtered and every single member in the village of totoigwe had his share. Later that day, psky the chief of totoigwe asked seun to make any wish at all and he would grant it to honour him. Without much ado, seun requested for a wife from KetewPomponi, and upon descriptions, it was certainly Mukina the widow. This was certainly going to spark up a fresh conflict since same Mukina was a marriage target for rival Guapo. [/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 10:29pm On Aug 01, 2013 |
[b]Emissaries were sent from totoigwe to KetewPomponi to officially request for Mukina's hand in marriage. When the emissaries got to the chief's palace, they revealed their mission of marrying Mukina for their drinking champion seun. Lefulefu the town-crier was sent to invite all the members of the village to the palace. It was the culture of KetewPomponi that, anytime a foreigner wanted a wife from their village, they make it public to ensure the woman is not already in any relationship already.As usual the palace was full. Okija juju was there, Mr cork the teacher was present, the family of Bunmioguns was duly represented and of course the dethroned King of alcohol Guapo himself was live, ignorant of why they had been assembled. Soon, dabrake the linguist informed the congregation of the mission of the emissaries from totoigwe. Whilst Mukina the target was very delighted, Guapo almost fainted, but his confidant Bunmioguns stood and spoke for him, " Chief and his elders i greet you...This Mukina that you people want to sell to totoigwe has been a long-time target of my friend el Guapo here...and in fact, as we are talking, he has bought everything for her marriage, so please this marriage the people of totoigwe are here for cannot hold..". After Bunmioguns' speech, there was lots of confusion and murmuring in the palace. Everybody was sharing his opinion including even the stranger teacher Mr Cork who suggested Mukina to be given to him to avoid any future conflict bbetween totoigwe and KetewPomponi. However, after hours of deliberations, Chief CFC finally decided that, a wrestle contest between the suitors will be used to determine who would get Mukina's hand in marriage. The moment wrestling was mentioned, Mr cork withdrew from the race, so it was left with El Guapo and seun, and a date was fixed [/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 10:30pm On Aug 01, 2013 |
[b]CHAPTER THREE Finally Mr Cork's school had started running and many had enrolled in the school, both young and old. All of Bunmioguns' children were in the school apart from Bigvajina who was not allowed by her husband CFC to school. The school had three rooms, one room for a classroom, another as Mr Cork's office and a small room called restroom, where Mr Cork usually relaxed. Mr Cork had a special liking for the female students. He often spent time with them in the restroom, though nobody knew what went on in the restoom. Mr Cork often used the cane to discipline students who flouted school rules and loved his snuff. There was even a time that he caned 190 who was a very incorrigible student, and after 190 secretly entered the office and mixed Mr Cork's snuff with grounded pepper. That day school closed unusually early, as Mr cork was writhing in pain at the office after taking the pepper-snuff mix. School was still fun, as Mr Cork took his pupils through reading and writing, as well as arithmetic. Reality101 was an exceptional student so was made the school prefect, which meant he would not pay any fees. School fees were moderate. Foodstuffs were offered Mr Cork for school fees. Often when school closed, Mr Cork held special classes for the female students.Any male student who wanted to be part of the late classes was lashed severely and driven out like a goat by the teacher Mr Cork. He had a special feeling for one of such girls, Mzdarksin. It was even rumoured that there were days Mzdarkskin spent the entire night in Mr Cork's house learning. She was studying very hard. [/b] |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by bingbagbo(m): 10:31pm On Aug 01, 2013 |
[b]It was a farm season as well, so anytime school closed often mid-morning, all students would go to the farm with their parents. It was planting season so many were planting maize and yams. Bunmioguns' family was not left out as they were great maize farmers. What annoyed the family was their father Bunmioguns who would not go to the farm to work. Anytime it was time to go to the farm, he would fall sick, but the moment food was ready he would be fit again. Often, when the family went to farm, he went to his friend, Guapo's house to play draught and drink alcohol. Guapo himself was a lazier man and had no farm .He was always in debts. Bunmioguns was a very good draught player and often defeated Guapo. They were discussing Guapo's up-coming fight with seun the drunkard. " Bunmi, how do i win this one?" Guapo asked in a sad way. Bunmioguns suggested they consulted Okija juju for spiritual cleansing and empowerment. Guapo obliged readily as he knew the fight would be very difficult if he faced it physically, more so he could not afford loosing his dream Mukina. Guapo was so much in love with Mukina to the extent that he mentioned his name over a thousand times daily. He mentioned Mukina's name when he slept, woke, bathed, used the toilet, ate , drank, sneezed, coughed, massturbbated and conversed. On the average, Guapo saw Mukina three times a night in his dreams. He often saw Mukina take her bath in his dream and whenever he woke up from such dreams , he was hard. [/b] 1 Like |
| Re: BARTER TRADE ( JOKE WITH NAIRALAND CHARACTERS) by EllyBrainyTM: 8:21am On Aug 02, 2013 |
Hehehehehe#following# |
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