Is it just me or there is really no basis for your excitement? What is so exciting about a 17yr old having sex? (Yes, sex, cos I know that is the main thing that is goin to exist in that so called relationship). Or what else will they be dating for? Companionship? Marriage? What?

And he's even promising to become an "ATM" for her and you sef wan increase him allowance. Wetin remain? To buy condoms and some x rated movies. . . Smh.

This is a critical stage of his life when he can either make or marr his future. This is the time to lay a solid foundation for his future. Get into school, study hard and come out with stellar grades.

I agree that there is not much you can do to stop him from dating the girl, but being excited? Na wa for "new generation" parents oooo.

alutacontinua:
GBAM! Major reason why I asked why he thinks she's the first.
At 17, an average guy nowadays has had like 4 girlfriends.
Even though parents don't like it, but it's the truth.

you are very correct!

Just increase his pocket money and throw away face. You can only come in if you guys have had that kind of cordial relationship before now...on the other hand, if you have, he most likely would have told you himself without you having to find out while standing behind his window...but sitting him down to start lecturing him on what is not is just plain weird.

sitting him down could be plain weird - it depends on the level of rapport between the parents and the son. if they don't flow on that wavelength before now, baba oyo should forget it. there's no chance the boy would be comfortable to listen to the sermon.

bellong:

Take it easy sis.... keep the fire within

My dear,

There is no fire o! Afteral, fola mi was born by parents, not so? If he wishes his daughters to have boyfriends by fola's age very well then.

bukatyne:

My dear,

There is no fire o! Afteral, fola mi was born by parents, not so? If he wishes his daughters to have boyfriends by fola's age very well then.

Sweetie, we're all just getting real here. How many 17 year old ladies are out there today without a boyfriend? Some have even had like 5 sef...There's no point making it look like it's a crime, it's REALITY.

Maybe it's against our "moral codes and ethics" but it doesn't change the fact and CANNOT CHANGE IT.
So, that your comment was a lil bit harsh. At least baba Oyo or his son did not force the girl to start going out with him. She made the decision herself, I guess.

Also, the fact that they're dating does not mean they're having s*ex and all that.

I have a younger brother who is not even up to that 17, he has a girlfriend and I can say with 99% assurance and confidence that they're not doing that, even though i'm faaaaarrrrrrrr away from him. I don't know what they're doing in the relationship and I can't help but laugh anytime he gists me about 'them' but they're not sleeping with each other. All I do is chip in my own bit. It all depends on the child involved.

This topic made me remember when I was 17 and my Pa caught me being toasted, woke me up at 2 am and he was not rejoicing( guess becos I am not a boy)...I sat on the hard floor while he talked till 5 am, heard nothing he said but butt ached forever....

Have a man to man talk with him nd act like you did not tell Iya Oyo.....I will not say I heard nothing in your shoes...just general talk that will lead to girl matter.. a very friendly chat that is continous.

A man needs a man to show him how to be a real man or he will learn from his peers ( they pretend not to cry and show false masculinity).

He is lucky to have you !

jidegirl12:

Do you have to be this rude?

People you don't know and you chose to run your cerebral mouth on her?

This is exactly what is discussed here day in and out, people like you just like chose out of the blue unacceptable demeanour to spite other people to please themselves ...

I mean where & what is it exactly on this thread that warranted this uncalled for utterance from you?

* shakes head with disgust*

Bloody feminist.



Mr Fhemmy , thank you, we have to accept the fact/ reality of things in this day and age ,

dating starts at 14 here, Baba / Mama Oyo try sef with the boy, and it doesn't have anything to do with upbringing,

the more you're strict with them or the old time 'iron hand' you use, the more and greater they will be rebellious and/or keep thing from you, the key thing is be, their friend as much as you can so they can open up to you and come to you for direction and advice.

My Dad will say 'Omo taye bi laye n pon, I say the finished product is the koko.

The world is changing, may God help us.

Madam,

That post didn't refer you

If you have a problem with my post or any part of it, state it in a civil manner.

In case you have not noticed, I don't do e-fights.

alutacontinua:

Sweetie, we're all just getting real here. How many 17 year old ladies are out there today without a boyfriend? Some have even had like 5 sef...There's no point making it look like it's a crime, it's REALITY.

Maybe it's against our "moral codes and ethics" but it doesn't change the fact and CANNOT CHANGE IT.
So, that your comment was a lil bit harsh. At least baba Oyo or his son did not force the girl to start going out with him. She made the decision herself, I guess.

Also, the fact that they're dating does not mean they're having s*ex and all that.

I have a younger brother who is not even up to that 17, he has a girlfriend and I can say with 99% assurance and confidence that they're not doing that, even though i'm faaaaarrrrrrrr away from him. I don't know what they're doing in the relationship and I can't help but laugh anytime he gists me about 'them' but they're not sleeping with each other. All I do is chip in my own bit. It all depends on the child involved.

Dear,

I didn't see my comments as harsh. I just imagined how he would feel if it were his daughter. There is really he can do but to be excited? Increasing his pocket money? I share bettymafa's view on this.

Apologies if I sounded harsh.

Thanks.

horny4u: This topic made me remember when I was 17 and my Pa caught me being toasted, woke me up at 2 am and he was not rejoicing( guess becos I am not a boy)...I sat on the hard floor while he talked till 5 am, heard nothing he said but butt ached forever....

Have a man to man talk with him nd act like you did not tell Iya Oyo.....I will not say I heard nothing in your shoes...just general talk that will lead to girl matter.. a very friendly chat that is continous.

A man needs a man to show him how to be a real man or he will learn from his peers ( they pretend not to cry and show false masculinity).

He is lucky to have you !

you sef how did you allow yourself to be caught?

bukatyne:

Madam,

That post didn't refer you

If you have a problem with my post or any part of it, state it in a civil manner.

In case you have not noticed, I don't do e-fights.

*looks down* notice who?

Buka the 'pseudo- renowned' NL feminista?

don't get ahead of yourself missy (oun kangaroo) ,

I only laugh at all your stylish stup idly displays on numerous equal rights campaign threads and arguments you litter here with .....you no fit do e fights with me pfttt mba you're just a crunchy termite I use as appetizers you no fit.

Hey you don't have to refer to me, you dey sleepwalk? I get to say whatever I deem fit whenever and you're the last person to tell me how to say it ,you hear shogbo ?
Remember what Kelly told Bethany at the dinner ? .....Ehnnn oh Exactly (go look it up)

Boojie #2

Mtcheww

jidegirl12:

*looks down* notice who?

Buka the 'pseudo- renowned' NL feminista?

don't get ahead of yourself missy (oun kangaroo) ,

I only laugh at all your stylish stup idly displays on numerous equal rights campaign threads and arguments you litter here with .....you no fit do e fights with me pfttt mba you're just a crunchy termite I use as appetizers you no fit.

Hey you don't have to refer to me, you dey sleepwalk? I get to say whatever I deem fit whenever and you're the last person to tell me how to say it ,you hear shogbo ?
Remember what Kelly told Bethany at the dinner ? .....Ehnnn oh Exactly (go look it up)

Boojie #2

Mtcheww

Like I tell some posters who are young enough to be your kids, when you learn how to communicate properly in a civil manner expected on a social forum, then we can discuss.

Apparently, your problem is not with the post you quoted in particular but with my views generally on NL. In case you don't know, we are different and therefore would have different outlook to issues and life generally.

Like I said earlier, I don't do e-fights.

Once again ma'am, learn civility and we might be able to discuss.

Cheers.

bukatyne:

Like I tell some posters who are young enough to be your kids, when you learn how to communicate properly in a civil manner expected on a social forum, then we can discuss.

Apparently, your problem is not with the post you quoted in particular but with my views generally on NL. In case you don't know, we are different and therefore would have different outlook to issues and life generally.

Like I said earlier, I don't do e-fights.

Once again ma'am, learn civility and we might be able to discuss.

Cheers.

I will stop humouring you by replying so for the Last time like I've said before you are just a termite. Likes of you don't crawl near my grounds not to talk of walking privilege.

See this boojie talking about 'civility' hence dignified propriety of behaviour but 'forgot' ( like the BIL that barges everywhere like he's brain dead) to apply her home training when talking / referring to someone old enough to be your father & his kid she barely knows just to make an idle point.

Yes Again for the last time , I'm done with YOU.

When I was 15yr that was when my mom searched my school bag and found a love letter and some val cards.

Waited till my dad came back and reported. I was heavily tongue lashed

Since then I learnt to keep things very coded

Baba Oyo Congrats o. Talk to Oyo and show him how to use a condom

Else you might have an Omo Oyo soon

@ Baba Oyo

Updates, please and thank you

modextus: How i wish my dad would behave like уσυ.if he over heard me on phone talking τ̲̅ȍ my gf..

1.Well op.(Sir) I'm only 18 oOo. started dating fully at age 16 . i had this girl I've loved even when i was barely 13 Λn∂ i started dating her 2years back (16) ...sir, your son ιѕ better than me нë'ѕ 17!

2.I only fear for him in dah heartbreak part cus...dah same girl just broke my heart some 5hours ago ..seriously...I'm just picking up my phone τ̲̅ȍ see this thread ... *just finished crying my eyeballs out*

MY ADVISE
Halt the relationship while уσυ can. Λn∂ try τ̲̅ȍ let him know why he shouldn't be into one for now..trust me уσυ wouldn't want him τ̲̅ȍ go through what I'm going through right now.

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Mr Modextus....life is unfair sometimes...I believe ur girl broke up with u over some silly reason!!
For u to cry so much I guess u really love her a lot.
Don't worry son, try to get her to tell u what u did wrong to deserve this heartbreak.....and make amends.....even if she doesn't take u back....u would have learnt from it and move on to be a better person.
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Not all relationship is destined to end well...most relationships are meant to teach u critical lessons in life....pick ur lessons & move on from there!!! U will be fine son!!!

OlowoTee: Congratulations, Sir.

Baby_123 has made some good points and so, others. And, if I could add up, I would suggest you have a date with your son. Yes, take him out (quite place) and have a heart-to-heart conversation on the subject matter with him. He is a young adult now, so it's time for real friendship between both of you. admonish him on benefits of delayed gratification etc. It not easy, but it is possible Shalom.

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Olowo Tee.....I did just that yesterday evening....I believe he is still in the clouds and it will take continuous discussions like this to get him to realise this phase is no child's play.
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Thanx for ur contribution!!!

Pataki: Baba Oyo, leff the boy alone.

E je ki o lo-igba, ki igba ma lo oh! Omo olope, jaiye ori e joor!

But teach him about using strapping on kondoo for his kondo oh!

Or wait, maybe he already has one in his jacket, like him papa! Omo baba e!

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.
Eniyan Pataki.....you no serious....he cannot be like me o......he will surely try....omo ti ekun bi ni ekun Jo......but there will only be One Baba Oyo.....all others will only be Baba Oyo....2, 3, 4 till infinity....Looolllz.

Princess zoe: I must congratulate you on helping your son to enter into maturity age. At that age, you should send him to SU. If at the end of the day the relationship didn't last, do you think he wll abstain ?If you are a true christian, can you proudly tell your pastor or your committed house fellowship members that you are in support of your son's intimate relationship at that ungodly age? . By supporting your son in this, are you a just man? Being happy that your son has a girl friend at his age, do you consider yourself as an integrity man?. You must protect your children from the common worldly ideology. Don't follow the crowd to do what is unholy in the eyes of God and what will bring down the glory of your children in the nearest future.

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Thank you Princess Zoe for ur comments. Even though am a moslem but I can relate to most of the morality issues you raised up there. Thank u for that.
.
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However, let me speak as a parent and a liberal one at that............if I was a Christian, you want me to send him to SU classes at this point, then what have I been doing & watching all these years when he was growing up?.
I disagree because I have taught my son in the best way a father would want his son to grow, so I don't think anybody will want a better life for my son than me.
.
You call 17yrs an ungodly age?
Please what is the godly age ma?
Let's say the body grows and matures at a certain age which is not fixed and differs for each and everyone.
If he is "chained & binded" just because he is still at an "ungodly age" don't u think that is why most children rebel against all your rules once they notice things can be done differently?
Please realise a 17 year old kid is a year short of accepted maturity age, so freedom to make his choices are handed over to him....he should make the best of choices from all we have injected into him so far.
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Yes....I am a man of integrity and I will support my son in this.
Would u prefer I stiffle his feelings and kill all that idea because he is still in the "ungodly age"?
I want to believe u may not have a grown up kid yet & might not really understand that at this age, they already have a mindset of their own?
Or if u do have an adolescent kid, then have you been so sure they keep to your rules & regulations while u are away?
Let us not treat our children with so much iron fist.....set them free let them fly on their own wings....with prayers & sound words of advice from time to time I believe they will find the best trees to perch on.

bettymafy: Is it just me or there is really no basis for your excitement? What is so exciting about a 17yr old having sex? (Yes, sex, cos I know that is the main thing that is goin to exist in that so called relationship). Or what else will they be dating for? Companionship? Marriage? What?

And he's even promising to become an "ATM" for her and you sef wan increase him allowance. Wetin remain? To buy condoms and some x rated movies. . . Smh.

I agree that there is not much you can do to stop him from dating the girl, but being excited? Na wa for "new generation" parents oooo.

.
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I am amazed at your conclusion that at 17 its all about sex? How did you come up with such thoughts?
Were you all about sex at 17? Or you have been around enough 17 year olds who told you sex is all they want at that age? Na wa for you o, Betty !!!!
.

I want to believe at 17 you don't expect a boy to keep his eyes off the girls around him? I want to let you know my concerns and worries are limited because I have known him since he was born...I have raised him to be a leader to his siblings.....I have nurtured him with the principles of saving for the rainy day....he has learnt what it takes to be the best of man among his pairs.
He has been well tutored in what a gentleman should be and shouldn't be!
He knows what it takes to be "the Asiwaju" of my house.....so messing up all those values because of love is very very slim.
He will be fine!!!!

coogar:

you are very correct!



sitting him down could be plain weird - it depends on the level of rapport between the parents and the son. if they don't flow on that wavelength before now, baba oyo should forget it. there's no chance the boy would be comfortable to listen to the sermon.

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Hmmmm....Coogar it could be "weird" really having such discussions when you are not well bonded with ur kids!!
.
But I have a father-friend relationship with my kids....and the only thing we don't do together probably is sharing a bath!!
You know how u want ur son to be every inch of you? How u give him keys to ur car to drive you to ur friends place?
You realise he shows interest too early in alcohol and you take him along to the bar with you...even though u don't allow him to drink but just to witness what consequences drinking to stupor can have?
All this I have gone through with my first son....so he doing them behind my back & having friends teach him the wrong facts about these things are already avoided.
He will definitely be free to tell me the "yo-tinz" going on in life......I am proud to be his friend. We are well bonded!!!

MMotimo: @ Baba Oyo

Updates, please and thank you

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Finally I sat with him at the backyard ystday evening after helping wax my car.
He was surprised when I asked of Fola, he asked if I have been checking his phone while he was waxing the car!!!
I only laughed & told him his phone is right in his pocket & how would I have seen his phone from the balcony?
.
I told him of how my first relationship was, the stroll late in the evening with no concrete things to discuss, the rival guys around the hood, the girl's friends who were jealous and how I got heart broken after 3 months!!
.
He had questions to ask & I had answers for him.
I told him what it takes to be the best in every sphere of life.....F-O-C-U-S!!!
.
He had asked what it would be like if he only saw her on weekends, how he will not dissapoint me and the faith I have in him.
He asked where & what to say on their first date later today, how he would like to take mummy's car .
I picked somewhere open like Mr Biggs....gave him tips on how to be a gentleman, and what not to ask a "woman". His request for a car on the date was declined.
For obvious reasons, I don't want him putting himself out there as a "rich boy" who might be taken advantage of financially later on.
.
He was a bit quiet when the talk came to sex, I have told him sex is not included in the picture at all.
He understands education comes first & all other things will follow afterwards!!!
.
.
I decided to raise his pocket money by 25%, will watch what he spends on with the extra for some few months so I know if he is financially responsible with this new raise!!!
.
The last question he asked me was......"Dad, how did you know?"
.
Hahaha ........Dad knows it all, don't we? ##winks

bukatyne:

Dear,

I didn't see my comments as harsh. I just imagined how he would feel if it were his daughter. There is really he can do but to be excited? Increasing his pocket money? I share bettymafa's view on this.

Apologies if I sounded harsh.

Thanks.

.
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I believe you are entitled to your own opinion madam. And I believe its an open forum so we all can't think alike.
I understand your point of argument & I will dare say, that handling a male child is sure different from handling the female children!!
As you stated, that will I be happy if Fola was my daughter? No I won't!!!
.
But in life, there is a limit to what you can "force" your kids to do, at a certain age you just need to set them free on their own wings , praying & hoping they put into use all the morals & teaching you gave to them!!
.
I won't be so free to "celebrate" my daughter having a boyfriend at 17, but when this happens, I sure won't chain her to my bed or get a bodyguard for her, all I have is to teach her to do what is right!!!
.
I hope you understand my point of view now madam?

^^^^^^
Thanks for the update, may God bless our children and make them sources of everlasting pride for us, amen [s]Still hope one mmotimo-prophet of doom Aunty shows up sha[/s] lol

I will now sit back and wait for that "other" update
Hope you have a jolly weekend

dayokanu:

Baba Oyo Congrats o. Talk to Oyo and show him how to use a condom

Else you might have an Omo Oyo soon

.
i laugh like someone having achondroplasia!!!
.
CLASSIC............nice!!!

Orisirisi , send a 17year old ( with probably a beard) to brat camp because he has a girl friend?? Now that's what I call a shocking news

Awawi some people will say being 'friend' with your kid is too modern for their liking when a responsible 17 year old kid is already planning to move to another province/state University for studies and fly his wings unsupervised where enough girls are waiting for him

Kids that already have a mind of their own from birth, keep taming them by force , in your presence they're celibate , when you turn your back boxers off for quickie, after all mummy & daddy frown at the idea and will retrieve his privileges so

Baba Oyo you try no be small , the guy dey ArmorAll your vehicles , good and responsible guy indeed.

MMotimo: ^^^^^^
Thanks for the update, may God bless our children and make them sources of everlasting pride for us, amen [s]Still hope one mmotimo-prophet of doom Aunty shows up sha[/s] lol

I will now sit back and wait for that "other" update
Hope you have a jolly weekend

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Lolllz....u really like updates o, nothing do you my sister!!!
.
I sure will have a good weekend.
And am also waiting to see how this date goes later today!!

jidegirl12: Orisirisi , send a 17year old ( with probably a beard) to brat camp because he has a girl friend?? Now that's what I call a shocking news

Awawi some people will say being 'friend' with your kid is too modern for their liking when a responsible 17 year old kid is already planning to move to another province/state University for studies and fly his wings unsupervised where enough girls are waiting for him

Kids that already have a mind of their own from birth, keep taming them by force , in your presence they're celibate , when you turn your back boxers off for quickie, after all mummy & daddy frown at the idea and will retrieve his privileges so

Baba Oyo you try no be small , the guy dey ArmorAll your vehicles , good and responsible guy indeed.

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Imagine...jidegirl....she said "all this modern parents" sef!!!!
I believe people have different mindset either from their upbringing or circumstances in life, so I wouldn't sweat on her opinions,its a free world!!
.
I was shocked someone recommended sending my son to a camp to be taught the basic things I should have taught him much much earlier!!!
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That works for her I believe, and I won't discourage her from it anyway....to each his/her choices!!!
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Yes ma, my son drives me around on weekends, don't want him doing trial & error with my "fine car" when I travel, and then he ends up in trouble.
I guess that is one thing experience has taught me....God bless my late papa & his late car too!!!

Free world alright but this 'free world' hype has amalgamated iru plus shapa jare , kelegbekomoegbeoh, #NL things sha

Nothing do you jare Baba Oyo .... you've done everything right, like @cc once said, 'They are 'mine' kids and I know them more than anybody else here'

Yippee for 'Modern' parents

Baba Oyo:
.
.
I am amazed at your conclusion that at 17 its all about sex? How did you come up with such thoughts?
Were you all about sex at 17? Or you have been around enough 17 year olds who told you sex is all they want at that age? Na wa for you o, Betty !!!!
.

I want to believe at 17 you don't expect a boy to keep his eyes off the girls around him? I want to let you know my concerns and worries are limited because I have known him since he was born...I have raised him to be a leader to his siblings.....I have nurtured him with the principles of saving for the rainy day....he has learnt what it takes to be the best of man among his pairs.
He has been well tutored in what a gentleman should be and shouldn't be!
He knows what it takes to be "the Asiwaju" of my house.....so messing up all those values because of love is very very slim.
He will be fine!!!!

Oh really? It isnt about sex? What is it about then? Marriage? Companionship? Did u ask your son what he wants out of the relationship?

Like I said, I understand perfectly that what happens with teenagers (especially these days) is far from ideal and not what any parent can stop. Not with their raging hormones. But what I didn't (and still don't) understand is your excitement.

While we are all being friends with our children, let's not forget to be parents. That is our primary duty.

I'm in no way trying to spite you Baba Oyo. If anything, I love the fact that you can communicate with your son. Thank God u said he's a responsible boy, so hopefully u won't have a "baby mama/STI" case to deal with.

Cheers.

Who is thinking a 17yr old is too young nowadays.

All these sanctimonious people sef, Na dem go say world don spoil only God knows what they did at 17.

At 17 I was in University so what would you tell a boy or girl in University about sex that he doesnt know already

Whether you tell him or not he already knows just talking to him opens the channel of discussion and he sees you as someone he can confide in gradually

Some of our grandparents got married at 16, 17.

And some of these new parents did worse in their time,

I was watching youtube and I saw the below video on youtube and I wonder those babes who danced those lewd lyrics would now tell youngsters of today dancing Dbanj that the world is spoilt

No lewdness can match Dele Taiwo, Obesere Shina peters of the early 90's..

example below Magic Moment from Dele Taiwo


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ_iFDLGNdc

Dayo you don enter am .....We are already in bed now believe me we both danced to tha beat old times jeezz

Everything is Lewd to Boojies , they over sabi who came from where and what Michael Lohan did wrong as a parent ......@17 I was already in Uni too rocking all Guinness shows with ma papa dash me ride , first class style with my follow follows mooches group as per King Kong don't lemme yarn too much jare.

coogar:

he is his own man now......
there's no drilling to be done other than letting him know the dangers around unwanted pregnancy.

increase his allowance - 50% of it would be spent on his grooming, dates and gifts. let the boy grow in his own way. baba oyo, look the other way!!!

I cannot believe I was nodding while reading Coogar's comment but I agree with it 98% would have been 100% but the poster

baba Oyo monitor from afar donot totally look the other way.

bettymafy:

Oh really? It isnt about sex? What is it about then? Marriage? Companionship? Did u ask your son what he wants out of the relationship?

Like I said, I understand perfectly that what happens with teenagers (especially these days) is far from ideal and not what any parent can stop. Not with their raging hormones. But what I didn't (and still don't) understand is your excitement.

While we are all being friends with our children, let's not forget to be parents. That is our primary duty.

I'm in no way trying to spite you Baba Oyo. If anything, I love the fact that you can communicate with your son. Thank God u said he's a responsible boy, so hopefully u won't have a "baby mama/STI" case to deal with.

Cheers.

I seriously doubt its about sex...I had my first BF when I was 15 nd he was 18 and to him I was just a goddess to be looked at, gifted, smiled at. We dated for 3 years and not once did he try to steal a kiss...He probably had a boneerr at that time but I was the gal to be kept for the future......the love was thick (dates were walking aimlessly and occasional chicken george and val gift was indomie and peak milk ) Bless his soul and like someone else mentioned, a time will come when he may not be able to feel that strongly about nobody.

I am so thankful for that experience and will always have a soft spot for him....."life" !

Let him have this and enjoy this experience biko ....future success can never buy it.

Heartbreak will toughen him....unfortunately