From a female LIB reader.

My fellow readers of this great blog please I need your help urgently. My younger brother wants to marry a woman who has two kids by two different men. She's only 29 and already has a 9 year old and a four year old, both from different men she dated in the past. My brother is only 31 and I and other members of our family feel there are more decent women out there he can marry and not a young woman with two kids. We have tried to talk him out of it but he doesn't want it to hear it. It's not even like she's beautiful, well educated or rich so I don't understand his obsession with this woman. How is he going to take care of two kids that are not his? What do we do? How do we get him to get away from this woman? There are some family members who believe he's under a spell because his obsession with her and determination to marry her is not normal.

source http://lindaikeji..com/2013/06/dear-lib-readers-how-can-i-stop-my.html

So, decency is calculated based on how many children you have? Do you know how many people the ladies without children have killed? You don't judge decency because someone probably made a mistake sometime in their life.

It's not for you or any member of your family to determine who your brother should marry. He has a good reason for wanting to marry the lady.

Have you ever taught of praying for your brother and his decision to marry? And again you didn't tell us if the kids are living with the lady. Please don't judge her by her past. There are many ladies out there who has been involve with loys of men and has done several abortions. Just pray for your brother and don't intrude. Nobody knows tomoRrow. God bless you

Afam4eva: So, decency is calculated based on how many children you have? Do you know how many people the ladies without children have killed? You don't judge decency because someone probably made a mistake sometime in their life.

if she's 29 and she has a 9 year-old then her attitude as an adolescent should be looked into. it means she got preggers at 20. it's not rocket science - at 20, most females were completing their first degrees and miss thing here was procreating - she's not responsible!

It's not for you or any member of your family to determine who your brother should marry. He has a good reason for wanting to marry the lady.

arrant nonsense!
if problem occurs later, who would this guy run back to? his family or a faceless afam4eva? if i can't advise my sibling on a sensitive issue like his marriage then i would rather not have him as a brother - he's better off dead to me.

at 29, 2 kids for 2 different men?
if she's a good wife material, why did the fathers of her children refuse to marry her? i would personally beat up my brother or wait till their wedding day and send hired thugs to beat up bride and groom to stupor.

coogar:

if she's 29 and she has a 9 year-old then her attitude as an adolescent should be looked into. it means she got preggers at 20. it's not rocket science - at 20, most females were completing their first degrees and miss thing here was procreating - she's not responsible!



arrant nonsense!
if problem occurs later, who would this guy run back to? his family or a faceless afam4eva? if i can't advise my sibling on a sensitive issue like his marriage then i would rather not have him as a brother - he's better off dead to me.

at 29, 2 kids for 2 different men?
if she's a good wife material, why did the fathers of her children refuse to marry her? i would personally beat up my brother or wait till their wedding day and send hired thugs to beat up bride and groom to stupor.

Does it make a difference that she's pregnant. What if her sexcapades with men didn't come with the baggage of having kids. Would he have been responsible then? So, she's irresponsible because she became pregnant and not because she slept with men.

Afam4eva:
Does it make a difference that she's pregnant. What if her sexcapades with men didn't come with the baggage of having kids. Would he have been responsible then? So, she's irresponsible because she became pregnant and not because she slept with men.

using protection during sex = responsibility!

read it up!

coogar:

if she's 29 and she has a 9 year-old then her attitude as an adolescent should be looked into. it means she got preggers at 20. it's not rocket science - at 20, most females were completing their first degrees and miss thing here was procreating - she's not responsible!

Ahem...*cough*...*cough*

coogar:

i agree wholeheartedly!
by 17, i have had about 4-5 chics sef! i really don't think a 17-year-old is a baby and dull enough not to know how to take care of himself!

baba oyo should increase his allowance and look the other way. everything else is in the hands of God!

coogar:

using protection during sex = responsibility!

read it up!

Shouldn't NOT HAVING SEX = RESPONSIBLE

So, what if the CD breaks and she gets pregnant? That changes everything? I never knew that a day will come when preventing sperm from going into you will be termed responsible.

ileobatojo:

Ahem...*cough*...*cough*

i did not impregnate any of them!
so cough till your GP diagnoses tuberculosis. having sēx is not irresponsible, producing unwanted babies everywhere is the height of irresponsibility!

Afam4eva:
Shouldn't NOT HAVING SEX = RESPONSIBLE

So, what if the CD breaks and she gets pregnant? That changes everything? I never knew that a day will come when preventing sperm from going into you will be termed responsible.

not having séx? your parents should have chopped off your genitäls then in your teenage years. having sëx is a natural process. only a dunce would argue otherwise!!!

coogar:
not having séx? your parents should have chopped off your genitäls then in your teenage years. having sëx is a natural process. only a dunce would argue otherwise!!!

Maybe our parents should have also connected a pipe to suck out all our sperm so that we don't impregnate someone and make them irresponsible.

Afam4eva:
Maybe our parents should have also connected a pipe to suck out all our sperm so that we don't impregnate someone and make them irresponsible.

that's why condoms are cheap!
in my neighbourhood, there are walk-in centres where teens can go and get boxes of condoms. one has to be very stûpid to think teens with raging hormones would not have sëx - there's an air of inevitability about it.

so this woman must have been very very irresponsible to make a mistake once and then twice. even if the condom
leaked, there are morning after pills that stop the process. let's call a spade a spade abeg and stop making excuses.

coogar:

at 29, 2 kids for 2 different men?
if she's a good wife material, why did the fathers of her children refuse to marry her? i would personally beat up my brother or wait till their wedding day and send hired thugs to beat up bride and groom to stupor.

#The actions of a true village goat!

coogar:

that's why condoms are cheap!
in my neighbourhood, there are walk-in centres where teens can go and get boxes of condoms. one has to be very stûpid to think teens with raging hormones would not have sëx - there's an air of inevitability about it.

so this woman must have been very very irresponsible to make a mistake once and then twice. even if the condom
leaked, there are morning after pills that stop the process. let's call a spade a spade abeg and stop making excuses.

You're not making much sense. If you had said it's irresponsible to sleep with someone you're not married to, it would have made some sense. But here you're telling me that you can sleep with as many men as possible like an ashewo but don't get pregnant. WTH is that?

ileobatojo:

#The actions of a true village goat!

comot for here, you witchdoctor!
people like you with your "mind my business" attitude ruined the world. this is why a man can kidnap 3 girls for 10 years and the neighbours never suspected! bunch of idiòts!!!

Afam4eva:
You're not making much sense. If you had said it's irresponsible to sleep with someone you're not married to, it would have made some sense. But here you're telling me that you can sleep with as many men as possible like an ashewo but don't get pregnant. WTH is that?

comot for here with your hypocrisy!
sex is a natural thing for humans. have sëx if you must but use protection against STIs or even pregnancy. are you telling me that everyone that häd sex in their teens got pregnant or copped syphilis?

you need to come out of your cocoon!

He who has no sin shld throw the first ston

coogar:

comot for here, you witchdoctor!
people like you with your "mind my business" attitude ruined the world. this is why a man can kidnap 3 girls for 10 years and the neighbours never suspected! bunch of idiòts!!!



comot for here with your hypocrisy!
sex is a natural thing for humans. have sëx if you must but use protection against STIs or even pregnancy. are you telling me that everyone that häd sex in their teens got pregnant or copped syphilis?

you need to come out of your cocoon!

Having sex with someone you're not officially married to?

coogar:

comot for here, you witchdoctor!
people like you with your "mind my business" attitude ruined the world. this is why a man can kidnap 3 girls for 10 years and the neighbours never suspected! bunch of idiòts!!!

Go and sit down! Bush meat! Agbero!

Afam4eva:
Having sex with someone you're not officially married to?

so only married folks can have sëx?
where's that written in the constitution of nigeria? these religious people - your hypocrisy terrifies me.

ileobatojo:
Go and sit down! Bush meat! Agbero!

buhahahaha!
see this village sorceress calling me bushmeat? you? ileoba with your bow-legs and gap-tooth? you can say someone is bushmeat? it's not your fault. i wish i can find the engineer that took V-SAT dishes to your ejigbo village.

coogar:

buhahahaha!
see this village sorceress calling me bushmeat? you? ileoba with your bow-legs and gap-tooth?

Ehen? That's what makes me 'segzy'!

you can say someone is bushmeat? it's not your fault. i wish i can find the engineer that took V-SAT dishes to your ejigbo village.

Go and sleep jor, you're a village tout! Did you attend your market square meeting today? Or were you in the pit latrine when the town crier came through announcing the meeting?

coogar:

so only married folks can have sëx?
where's that written in the constitution of nigeria? this religious people and their hypocrisy terrifies me.

And where is it written in the constitution that you should not have a child outside wedlock else you'll beCome irresponsible.

ileobatojo:
Ehen? That's what makes me 'segzy'!

oh please.....
jenny has asked me to leave you alone for the rest of the week.....

Go and sleep jor, you're a village tout! Did you attend your market square meeting today? Or were you in the pit latrine when the town crier came through announcing the meeting?

Afam4eva:
And where is it written in the constitution that you should not have a child outside wedlock else you'll beCome irresponsible.

having a child outside wedlock is not irresponsible - having one at 20 without a father to claim it is irresponsibility!!!

coogar:

having a child outside wedlock is not irresponsible - having one at 20 without a father to claim it is irresponsibility!!!

Says who? The constituton?

Afam4eva:
Does it make a difference that she's pregnant. What if her sexcapades with men didn't come with the baggage of having kids. Would he have been responsible then? So, she's irresponsible because she became pregnant and not because she slept with men.

I have read a lot of the post but this is my take. If I were the poster I will equally be very worried. I am not saying the wife to be is worse than some girl who never got pregnant, all I am saying is that she has made some very wrong decisions in the past and I may not trust her to make the right decisions going forward. Having two children for two different men you never married shows she is kind of loose. I am not comparing her to anyone, I am just comparing her to the kind of wife I would want for my brother. I would rather have a 29 yr old that has never been pregnant before. I am not saying that the one that has never been pregnant is an angel, all I am just saying is that the one that has never been pregnant should be given the benefit of the doubt.

Marrying someone with children always has its own issues. Now the brother has to deal with two different men, because like it or not, those two men will always be part of the wife's life. She may go to them every now and then to get school fees, the child will have birthdays where both parents want to be there, and of course at the wedding ceremony of the kids. And there are chances she could get back with one of them.

Poster there is little you can do than to talk to him, pray for him and wish him the very best. The wife to be may have genuinely changed but I agree this is not the ideal situation we all pray for.

Afam4eva:
Says who? The constituton?

afam, stop arguing against logic
let's even agree for argument's sake that the baby at 20 was a mistake.....what about the one at 25, another mistake?

Now my eyes have read and seen enough, my over 2 years on NL has helped and taught me how to deal and handle Nigerians.

Nigerians and their preachy lives....even online they can't help themselves . Hypocrisy at the highest order. JEZU KRISTI!!!

If only there can be a thread that goes;

What Age did you loose your Vag inity

with Polygraph machine monitoring their psychological reactions while typing their answers.


LOLOLOL

Thank goodness for little mercy hope it has not shrivel from too much chopulation .

coogar:

i did not impregnate any of them!
so cough till your GP diagnoses tuberculosis. having sēx is not irresponsible, producing unwanted babies everywhere is the height of irresponsibility!



not having séx? your parents should have chopped off your genitäls then in your teenage years. having sëx is a natural process. only a dunce would argue otherwise!!!

armyofone: Thank goodness for little mercy hope it has not shrivel from too much chopulation .

having sëx even makes it bigger.....
so you can imagine the beast i have been grooming since my secondary school days.

coogar:

having sëx even makes it bigger.....
so you can imagine the beast i have been grooming since my secondary school days.

LMAAOO

Please leave your brother alone and let him marry who he chooses . Please do not judge her cos you don't know her story. She is who God created for him so let them be please.

IMO, dont marry the girl. Dont want any baby daddy problems

adaobi123: IMO, dont marry the girl. Dont want any baby daddy problems

let him marry her....
by christmas, he would come to NL to open his mumu mouth about how the marriage is dealing with him. 2 baby daddies taking turns to visit 2 step kids? hahahaha - i would rather marry a pony!

coogar:

let him marry her....
by christmas, he would come to NL to open his mumu mouth about how the marriage is dealing with him. 2 baby daddies taking turns to visit 2 step kids? hahahaha - i would rather marry a pony!

hahahaha

I hope the guy comes to his senses.