Am married,I would say happily.i have been for 3 years with a baby.i just noticed my wife now resents me.dont even know the right words to use.i wanted my wife to change the way she thinks and act I never knew my constant reminder most times in an aggressive manner would lead to this.i have actually been telling her to change for the past 2 yrs.imost times it lead to quarrels and enemity between us.for the past 6 months she has been keeping to herself.anything I say or do to her she uses the "ok" word.during her spare time she is glued to nairaland and nothin more.she is so quick to say sorry.never wants to argue,never wants to talk much.always quiet and absent minded.i have talked to her if anything is Wrong, she said she is fine.could it be as a result of my constant complain.am a stranger in my own house now.i just wanted the best for her it's not like I just wanted to put her down.she is very active on nairaland that's why I had to register and post.shouldnt I have raised an eyebrow when I saw something she did wrong especially her dressing.am really worried

Whats her Nairaland user ID

Eddy_mech: i have talked to her if anything is Wrong, she said she is fine could it be as a result of my constant complain.am a stranger in my own house now.i just wanted the best for her it's not like I just wanted to put her down.she is very active on nairaland that's why I had to register and post.shouldnt I have raised an eyebrow when I saw something she did wrong especially her dressing.am really worried

This isn't an advice thread now, you started the thread hoping she will read it on NL.
How young are you sef OP? Please log off and have a conversation with your wife because this your thread no be am.

fellis:
This isn't an advice thread now, you started the thread hoping she will read it on NL.
How young are you sef OP? Please log off and have a conversation with your wife because this your thread no be am.

didn't you read where the Op said he has talked, complain bt he's wife refused. Bt now she's keeping to herself. @op what i think is that when you complain you use strong/abusive words on her, so now she doesn't want that emotional abuse. Apologise to her first, then make her tell you the problem.

i think the word u r looking for is indifference

Since the wife is a regular on NL, the best bet is for her to come here and give her own advice anonymously. That will solve the situation.

Dear wife of OP, please wherever you are, come here and advice him on how to make you happy for a new and happy home.

Thanks in anticipation.


It is well with your home.

@ bellong you are right. The wife should equally come up(not forcing her) and post what really happened. Let her post hers as an advise. Through that, people here will be given a clip of what might really be the issue or how to solve it. I believe there is a two sides of coin to this story. Most times it is good to hear from the horses mouth(not too sure about the word) especially when marriage is involved.

chaircover:

Mr Eddy sorry to hear about your situation, but I want to believe that all is not lost and things can still be sorted out.

First you have to understand that you cant really drastically change people. From what you explain and in your words say "i wanted my wife to change the way she thinks and act" . . . why marry someone so far out of your expectations and then try to change her later? What are these things you are trying to change?

She is only human so Of course you are going to get some resistance, especially as you are aggressive about it, hence the initial fighting until Your wife got fed up of the constant bickering and has just decided to tow the line of "yes sir three bags full sir" just to keep the peace and has now seemed to have switched off emotionaly

. . . Basically, you are not happy with her real self and yet you are also not happy with her new fake self. So What do you want?

Ny little advise to you is to think deeply about who your wife really is and why you want to change her from who she really is. you also have to ask yourself why you married her and the things that attracted her to you.

A lonely empty marriage is a terrible situation to be in and so you you need to find a way of reaching out to your wife and bridging the gaps. Im not saying let her carry on with things she is doing wrong or for you to ignore them, what im saying be compassionate when you talk with her about her short comings and to be realistic im your expectations.

Thanks a lot.so many nice things attracted me to my wife .truth be told what I complain about were noticeable when we were dating.i was so crazy over her,so I told myself that with time she would change.i have sincerely apologized to her I just hope with little time she will come around.i want to change some of our ways because am not just cool with it.she wears short to pick our baby from school,she never thinks about the big picture.just very minute stuffs.hair,phones,designer bags.those are cheap things so wen she makes it seem so big it pisses me off.she doesn't appreciate the things I do for her,get her white she says I would have preferred black.finally even thou I know she is young and pretty she should dress like a married woman.

Wizee: didn't you read where the Op said he has talked, complain bt he's wife refused. Bt now she's keeping to herself. @op what i think is that when you complain you use strong/abusive words on her, so now she doesn't want that emotional abuse. Apologise to her first, then make her tell you the problem.

Yeah thanks